I think I'm gonna cry :'( Yep, we're getting to the end. How sad for me. I have so much fun with this fic, with all of you guys that read and review. And talking and talking about the plot with my beta Mila (and everyone who cares to listen). I mean, giving life to all of those mad chicks really made my day sometimes.

And I'll stop here cause it's not the end yet. But almost.

I wish everyone who reads this would give me a feedback. I know that's asking too much. But I'd love to know you exist, and your name and what you thought of it. It's a last request, so please, would you consider doing it? I hope yes.

See ya soon.

11 – Ramona, the not Rachel

My phone starts ringing and I go through my purse to find it.

"Santana here."

"Hey, hi. It's Ramona."

"Great! You'll tell me you're not coming, right? I knew it. It's a true miracle no one stood me up until this point. It was about time. I'll get going."

"No, wait!" She shouts at the other side. "I am coming! I just wanted to know if you're already there."

"Oh, you are?" I was starting to stand up, and then I sit again at the chair.

"I am. Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here. I am sitting in a table at the right corner."

"Good. I happen to like this table."

"Awesome."

"I happen to like your shirt as well." She says and I raise an eyebrow.

I turn myself to look around and my eyes find a black girl, a few steps away, holding a cell phone against her ear and smiling at me. We hang up at the same time as she approaches the table and I get up.

"Were you watching me?" I ask seriously.

"Well…"

"For how long?"

"Excuse me?"

"For how long have you been watching me? Did you stalk me here from home? Were you here when I came in?"

"No. God, no!" Ramona looks a little startled by my questions and I narrow my eyes at her.

"Then what were you doing?"

"I'm sorry." She says, swallowing thickly. "I was a little shy to just pop up in front of you out of nowhere. So I called you to confirm you were who I thought you were and to warn you of my presence so I wouldn't have to… Well, approach you in a weird way."

"That went down the hill."

"I see that. I'm sorry."

And she looks apologetic. And maybe I went too sharp, too fast.

"That's ok. Let's just… sit down." I shake my head and we take sits.

"So, did you find this place easy enough?" She asks, cautiously, taking off her coat and scarf.

"Yeah, it was no problem." I look around one more time at the bookstore we're in. The tall stands, the hard covered books, the dark sofas, the soft light – it's all very cozy, actually. And the coffee shop is comfortable as well.

"Do you like here?"

"Sure."

"Good. I spent the last week going crazy about choosing a place to our date."

"You could have picked anywhere."

"But I could not!" Ramona denies it.

"Oh, God, you're one of those control freaks, aren't you? The place gotta be perfect, the day gotta be sunny, the date gotta be sweet. Well, I'll tell you what: life doesn't work like this."

"Actually, I was just worried about making a good first impression. It's a blind date. The place you pick says something about you before you can say something about yourself."

Hm. I guess that makes sense. I look at her for a few moments, trying to see behind that cute expression. She's pretty. Really close to gorgeous, actually. Big, full mouth. Dark chocolate skin. An athletic body I can spot under the cardigan. And black, sparkling eyes. Sure, Kurt never had much problem finding me cute women, what he doesn't seem able to do is to keep me away from the mad chicks.

So a little caution it's not going to hurt me.

"That's true. The place says something." I admit as she smiles.

"So, you see… It has to be somewhere kinda cool, but not too hipster. Somewhere that shows a little personality. I could pick a bar, of course, but that's such a cliché."

"I've been in a lot of bars."

"Right?" Ramona sighs. "So, in the end, I waste a lot of thinking trying to seem cool, days before you even saw me for real."

"You chose a good place. I thought it's cool, that you're cool."

She smiles for a moment, and then shakes her head again.

"What I totally screwed up with my speech, right?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I say and we laugh.

"But you'll find out by yourself how cool I am."

"Or how crazy, broken, messed up and undateable." I say and Ramona's eyes get really big. "They're all valid options, trust me."

"Ok, I think you're a little tense." She says, giving me a condescend smile. "But I know just the thing to relax you." Then she reaches for her purse and opens it.

"Oh, no." I say, shaking my hands and looking around. My voice goes down to a whisper. "No, I really don't do drugs. None of it. Not even Xanax. Doesn't matter what you have in your purse, I don't want it."

"Santana." Ramona lifts her head again, her eyes meeting mine, serious. "I was talking about hot chocolate." And she takes her wallet out of her purse.

"What?"

"Hot chocolate. They have a great one here, and I'm still cold from outside. So I thought it could break the ice a little… in many ways."

"Hot chocolate?" She shakes her head in confirmation. "Yeah, sure. Yes. In this case… I never refuse hot chocolate."

"Neither do I. I'll go get us some and be right back."

I bob my head in agreement and she gets up. I watch as she walks towards the counter and look at that! She has a cute ass too! I start to wonder how much insanity I would take for this cute ass.

"Here." Ramona lays a pink cup in front of me, carefully. She takes her sit again and sips her own drink.

"Thank you." It tastes really good and I sigh between my teeth. "Oh chocolate…"

"Am I closer to being cool?"

"Totally!" I sip it one more time and moan softly.

"Please, don't make love to your chocolate." Ramona says and I giggle.

"Don't be jealous just yet."

Ramona laughs.

"No, I understand chocolate to be a good, easy, licit physical pleasure."

Oh, ok, now she'll make fun of me. Like I don't have reasons to be suspicious about my dates.

"Yes, it's one of them." I say back. Ramona smiles.

"So, Santana… Before we go any further, I have an important question to make."

She keeps her eyes on me. I lay back in the chair, breathing in deeply. So here it comes. Madness. And I didn't even finish my hot chocolate.

"Any further than hot chocolate, you mean?"

"Yes. Depending on your answer, we'll never get to the vanilla cookies."

"God, now you're getting me anxious."

"Don't be. It's a simple, direct question."

"Ok. Shoot." I say and regret immediately. Shoot is not the best word choice when you're talking to a potential crazy woman.

"What…" Ramona narrows her eyes, looking seriously at me. "is your favorite in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.?"

Ok, that's not what I was expecting. I wonder if it's some kind of trick.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I asked. You know F.R.I.E.N.D.S., right?"

"I…"

"I'll be there for you, when the rain starts do fall…"

"Yeah, yeah, of course I know F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!"

"Then pick one."

Gosh, what kind of question is this? I watch her for a few seconds, thinking fast. Six options, I gotta narrow it down. Ramona bites her lower lip, still looking at me. I shouldn't be taking this long to give an answer, for sure.

"Chandler." I finally say and Ramona's face melts in a big smile. I guess this was the right answer.

"Ok, you got the cookies."

Thank God. Although I don't quite understand this game. If I picked Ross, what would I get? Shot? I better not even know.

"I'm glad."

"I knew you'd pick wisely."

I raise an eyebrow.

"So was there a wrong answer?"

"Sure there was! No way could I accept someone who says 'Rachel'."

I laugh at that.

"I actually know some people who like Rachel best." As Rachel's parents. As Rachel herself.

"Craaazy people. Stay away from them."

"Ok… Just out of curiosity, Chandler got me the cookies. What would Rachel get me?"

"My reprimand look, nothing else." Ramona says, giggling.

I start to think it is possible that was just a funny question to warm up our date. How weird is that?

"Well, I wouldn't want that." I reply and her eyes stay on me as she drinks her chocolate. "My turn."

"Go on."

"How do you feel about sex in the first date?"

I guess, since we're making important questions…

Ramona looks at me mindfully before she smiles.

"I'm celibate."

I spill my chocolate and cover my mouth. Ramona laughs loudly. Great! Found it! I almost put my arms in the air and announce it out loud. You see, ladies and gentleman, I cannot date a normal person. If I dig a little, I'll find something.

"You are kidding me!"

"It's like the stage after tantric sex, you know? You internalize your sexuality. You feel it, but you don't practice it."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Of course I am!" She laughs even more, rolling her dark eyes.

"Wh…" Ramona seems to be having a lot of fun with my confused expression. "Bitch."

"You can't corner me with a question like that. It's not fair!"

"It's totally fair. I'm done playing games. You do know that's my eleventh blind date this year, don't you?"

"Yes, Kurt told me that. Pretty scary, this is."

It's pretty scary, alright! I feel very brave for not wearing a bulletproof vest, a helmet and my Lima Heights attitude. Ok, maybe I am wearing my Lime Heights attitude a little.

"Yes, I admit I'm a bit intimidated about going out again and…"

"Wait, what?"

"I'm admitting it's scary, as you said."

"I meant scary for me!"

"For you? Why would that be scary for you?"

"You're obviously hard to please."

"I'm so not hard to please!"

"Ten girls!"

"Excuse me, you didn't see those chicks."

"You know I was supposed to be your first date, right?"

"What?"

"Yeah. Kurt called me in January and said he had this friend of his that finally agreed to be introduced to other friends of him… If I was up to a blind date."

"And you said no."

"I said no." Ramona nods slowly. "I had everything settled to spend the year abroad. I figured there was no point meeting someone new, if I wouldn't be here to take it anywhere."

"Where did you go?"

"Australia. I have a thing for kangaroos, call me crazy."

Then I start to laugh. Oh my God. She likes kangaroos. How crazy is that? Well, nothing! It's nothing crazy, kangaroos are fucking loveable. Call me crazy. I can't stop laughing.

"Are you ok?" Ramona asks, forehead frowned. "I'm almost sure I'm not that funny."

"I'm fine. It's just… You sound so normal it's freaking me out."

"Will it help if I say I also like koala bears a lot?"

I stop laughing, but I still smile at her. Ramona is grinning back.

"Yes, everybody knows panda bears are the real thing. You might be a little crazy, after all."

"Who isn't?"

I just shake my head.

"I was sad, though. When Kurt sent me you Facebook page. I thought 'godammit, I'll have to meet a whole lot of kangaroos to compensate this lost date'."

"Well… Thank you?" I say, chuckling.

"You're welcome."

"You still had your chance, anyway."

"That's scary. You dismissed ten girls until now."

"It was really not like that."

"How it was like?"

I open my mouth to answer. I can say that my first date was with a straight woman. The second was with a dangerous stalker. I can tell her about pain-in-the-ass-Jen, and about the marvelous-but-married cougar I met. But does all that justify why I'm still alone?

I did meet some great girls along the way.

"I think I just wasn't ready to commit."

"Got it."

"Or maybe I was waiting for you to return."

Come on, she has a cute ass! It was worth the try. Even more because that makes a wild smile appear in Ramona's lips.

"I hope that's the case."

I smile back at her.

"But you still didn't answer my question."

"Maybe you'll just find out the answer later."

"I like the sound of that."

"How do you feel about me getting you those vanilla cookies now?"

"I feel good."

Ramona gets up again. I take one more glance at her cute, cute ass. I can't really avoid it! She has such a hot body. And a hot face. And a hot voice. And, yeah, ok, I'm horny, sue me.

When she comes back and I taste the cookies – that are great –, I try not to remember that the last girl who fed me this well on a date later on burned up all of my shoes. The way Ramona's looking at me, I don't have to wonder if she's really gay. The celibate thing's cleared as well. I don't think there's any narcotic in our drinks and food. Pretty much everything she says makes sense to me.

I wonder if she left a wife and three kids in Australia…

"Have you left a wife and three kids in Australia?"

"What?"

"You know, have you abandoned a family somewhere to go on in romantic adventures, like blind dates?"

"I'm 21, Santana."

"Then I'm guessing… no?"

"No!" She shouts, laughing. "You make really weird assumptions, did you know that?"

"Well, life has given me a lot of lemons!"

"Let's make caipirinha out of it, shall we?"

I give her a crooked smile and we go back to small talk. A couple hours go by as we chat, then we get up and wander through the bookstore. Ramona takes a few books from the shelves and I help her to carry them.

"How Law Works?" I ask, reading the title of one volume. Why would someone randomly want to know how law works?

Then it hits me.

Awesome, how did I not think of it before? Ramona looks at me with those dark eyes and I wonder what kind of felony she committed. Oh God, I pray it has nothing to do with torturing puppies. Or starting fires.

Oh my sweet Jesus, maybe I was better off with Sarah, after all.

Oh my sweet fucking loving Jesus, where's Sarah right now when I need her?

"Yes, my teacher indicated me that book." Ramona answers, at ease.

"Sorry, what?"

"My teacher at Law School."

"What!"

"I go to Law School at NYU. I thought Kurt had mentioned."

"No… he didn't." I breathe in slowly. My knees are still shaking a little. "So that's what you do for a living?"

"Yes. And I'm a junior assistant at my uncle's office."

"That's so…"

But I don't find the word.

"Ordinary?" Ramona suggests, smiling.

"Yes." I blink a few times. "Very much ordinary."

"That's me." She says, seeming just a little embarrassed.

"I really like it."

Ramona smiles at that. A really sweet smile.

"It's getting a little late. Will you walk me to my car?"

"Sure."

I wait as Ramona pays for the books. We put on our coats and gloves and scarves and go out. It's cold, but not freezing yet. It's getting warmer as we walk down a few blocks. I don't even notice the distance as we make conversation. I get to learn a bit about Ramona's ordinary life and she gets to know a bit about mine.

It seems we're just two single girls in New York. We like many of the same things. We go to the same university. We both have roommates – in her case, her three older brothers. And we're just trying to grow up, but not too fast.

When I realize it, we have walked half the city.

"Where's your car, after all?"

Ramona giggles, looking at me.

"I don't have a car."

I open my mouth, but close it again. I would complain, but instead, I smile.

"Smart pants."

"But I live just here." She says, pointing at a building ahead.

"Ok… It was very gentile of me bringing you home."

"It was."

We stare at each other for a moment. The street's almost empty and its lights make Ramona's eyes sparkle. I take a step closer. She does it also. I lean to her and she stretches her neck in my direction until our lips meet.

We kiss very softly at first and it feels good. When she opens up her mouth and our tongues slid together, it turns to a complete different kind of kiss, though. My hand goes through her hair and I pull Ramona closer.

"Ramona…"

"Hi."

"I lied." I whisper against her mouth and her eyes seek for mine.

"About what?"

"About Chandler."

She giggles, still looking at me mindfully.

"My favorite is Phoebe. It has always been."

Ramona's smile is even bigger now, and she takes a hand to the back of my neck, scratching it in a way that gives me chills. We kiss again, more hungrily this time. Her body is rocking against mine, breasts with breasts, hips with hips. I'm a little out of breath when we break apart again.

"So… Chandler got me vanilla cookies. What will Phoebe get me?"

"Laid."

Then, ten seconds later, we're at the elevator, trying to get to Ramona's apartment. My hands are inside her coat and cardigan before we hit the third floor. I can feel her body shivering under my fingers, as I trail them up and down her stomach. There's something round and cold at her belly button and I lift all the shirts to look at it.

"I have a piercing." She says the obvious. "Do you like it?"

"I…" I wasn't expecting for that piercing to be there. But why not? It's an unknown body, anything could come up. The piercing is cute. I don't know why I don't like it.

So I just kiss her again.

By the time we get to the eleventh floor I found out that was not the only piecing in Ramona's body. And I'm really looking forward to find them all. She tries to open the door as I kiss her neck and clench her thighs.

When the door slams open, I pull Ramona to myself and kiss her once more. Our purses fall down at the hall floor and we don't stop to mind.

"Good night for you too, girls!"

"Shut up, Jerry!" Ramona shouts, laughing, when we separate to notice the three guys in the living room, watching TV. "This is Santana."

"Hey." I wave at them.

"Let's go." Ramona drags me though her apartment, not waiting for the guys to answer anything.

When her bedroom door shuts behind us, her lips are on mine again. We start that clumsy war, trying to get rid of the clothes. Scarves fly away and coats are dismissed. We look for each other skins – touching, kissing, pressing and rubbing.

She pants hard in the middle of our kiss when my fingers find the stiff wet point between her thighs. And it feels awesome to touch her as she lies around my hand, intensifying all that caressing. I kiss her neck, biting her ear lobe delicately, and Ramona comes for the first time.

I just keep going because I know she's not done. I feel the tension in her muscles, mouth, voice. It does not take a full minute before she's coming again, harder this time. Those black eyes are clearer when it stops, and she stretches her arms to start touching me too.

I'm more than ready by now and when Ramona's third orgasm kicks in, my first comes along.

We're both shivering when I lay down by her side in bed.

"Well… I'm all for it."

"What?" I ask, turning my head at direction.

"You asked me what I thought about sex in the first date." She explains and I laugh.

"Good. Me too."

We laugh a little more.

"So, should we do that again?" Ramona questions in a rough voice.

"Sure, we have all night."

She chuckles and leans in to kiss me.

"I meant the date." She bites my lower lip softly. "Should we do that again?"

I'm ready to scream "YES, FUCK, YES!" when my cell phone beeps real loud.

"I'm sorry. I thought it was in my purse." I say, seeking for my jeans and taking the cell off a pocket.

It's a text from Rachel.

"Georgia and I are over."

My stomach gets cold so instantly that I can't believe my body comprehended the meaning of that message this fast. My mouth's suddenly dry as I text back.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm not sure. I'm at a bar close to NYADA. Don't feel like moving."

"Something wrong?" Ramona asks from bed.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"What happened?"

"My friend, Rachel, she… She's not very well. I need to go."

I put on my underwear quicker than I took it off.

"Oh, ok. Sure. Yes." Ramona gets up and starts getting dressed too. "I'll take you to the door."

This time the three men in the living room don't even look at us as we pass. I catch my purse on the floor as Ramona opens de door.

"Well, call me when you can."

"I will."

She gives me a peck when the elevator comes and I go in. When I hit the street, I already have the cell against my ear. The cold feeling in my stomach spreads into chills all through my body when I hear her voice.

"Hi, San."

"Hey, Rach. Where are you? Give me the address."

"I'm at that English pub at the corner of NYADA's street. We came here once."

"Ok, I'm coming."

"You don't have to do that." Rachel says, but I know she doesn't mean it. She sounds so hopeless that breaks my heart.

"I'll be there in twenty."

We hung up and a taxi stops by the sidewalk. I get in and give the driver an address. My thoughts are too out of order and I know I have to control them so I can be there for Rachel. I recall Ramona telling me she was supposed to be my first date. And I wonder how different things could be. Maybe I wouldn't have this much butterflies in my stomach right now just because I'm on my way to meet my – single again – best friend. Maybe Rachel wouldn't give me butterflies at all.

I close my eyes for a moment and shake my head. I can hear Rachel's voice singing "Don't rain on my parade" at our first Regionals. And I still have the picture she gave me to put on my school locker at senior year. All the little things… The way I always stopped to watch her pass moisturizing cream in her arms and legs at morning; the goosebumps I felt that time, when she caressed my leg with her foot under a table, to test the trick on me; the way I love how she always makes room for me in any song I catch her singing. Everything.

So, at the end, I don't believe things could be different at all.

My phone beeps again and I open the text in a hurry, thinking it's Rachel again, but it's actually Ramona.

"I hope everything turns out ok to you and your friend. Thank you for the awesome evening. Kangaroos and koalas have nothing on you."

I sigh, putting the phone away. Ramona's so lovely. Beautiful. Sexy. Easy. She's everything a date should be. Everything I could expect from a girl. She's great, she really is.

She's just… not Rachel.