Arf: I've revised it to tell more about him.

KOJI KAZEFUME: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated KOJI KAZEFUME unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Mischievous Captain, please pay close attention to the following instructions:

Basic Information

Name: Koji Kazefume (Aka. Captain of 9th Division, The Artist formally known as Koji)

Date of Manufacture: June 2, 1672

Place of Manufacture: Rukon District 89

Race/ Species:Shinigami

Height: 6'2"

Weight: Unit continues to tamper with the scale. Weighing is now impossible.

Your KOJI KAZEFUME unit will come with the following accessories:

One (1) standard issued Shinigami Uniform

One (1) standard issued Captain Uniform

One (1) standard issued long-sword Zanpakuto

One (1) set of pens and pencils

One (1) set of paper

Five (5) cases of 'Koji's Trick o' Rama'

One (1) Printer

Two (2) DDR machines

Please take note that If the KOJI unit runs out of 'Koji's Trick o' Rama' you can by more at the mere cost of $50.00 each.

Programming:

The KOJI KAZEFUME unit may not seem all that willing to obey you at first, but with a bit of being pranked and time, he will warm up to you and help you out, just don't anger him. If you have problems getting him to conform to your requests, appeal to him by helping him prank others or giving him writing material.

Prankster/Con Artist: Always loving to mess with others, this program is the most active one. His pranks may cause blindness, baldness, explosive diarrhea, and projectile vomiting. We are in no way reliable for any other injurys that are obtained. He also can trick almost everyone in the Soul Society.

Writer:The KOJI KAZEFUME unit is an excellent writer. He is able to write such fabulous articles for any occasion. He also has written famous pieces such as 'Nightmare before Soifon' and 'Hush Little Byakuya, Don't You Cry.'

Fighting Expert: The KOJI KAZEFUME unit is programmed to be greatly skilled in Kido, Swordplay, and hand to hand combat. He does, however, only use this program in emergencies.

Master Tactician: The KOJI KAZEFUME unit is a master when it comes to strategy. He can uses this for fighting by adjusting the area to his advantage, or he could use it for pranking.

Stalker:The KOJI KAZEFUME unit uses its great stealth for numerous things. A quick kill on an enemy, escaping a prank or finding out secrets of the a shinigami.

Your KOJI KAZEFUME unit has six (6) different settings:

Laid-back (Default Setting 1)

Mischievous(Default Setting 2)

Serious and Professional (Lock 1)

Sad (Lock 2)

Bankai (Lock 3)

Hungry

Romantic

Note that Serious and Professional mode is reserved for when he fights or when he's actually working. The Sad mode is usually activated when a prank doesn't go his way. The Hungry mode will activate every few hours. Romantic is activated when and ISANE KOTETSU unit is nearby. Bankai is only activated during dance competitions. The unit is also very light on his feet.

Relations with other units:

Your KOJI KAZEFUME unit may seem unprofessional at first, but when in times of need he will come through!

BYAKUYA KUCHIKI:The most compatible unit with your KOJI KAZEFUME unit. Despite the constant pranks pulled on him, he will act as support and backup. He greatly respects him. WARNING: If a prank pulled on the BYAKUYA KUCHIKI unit goes to far, safety of either units can not be guaranteed.

ISANE KOTETSU:This unit is something that the KOJI KAZEFUME unit lusts for. He will hit on her every time he sees her. Warning: One of the KOJI KAZEFUME's pick-up lines may lead to destruction of the KOJI unit.

MAYURI KUROSUCHI: This unit is the least compatible for your KOJI KAZEFUME unit. The units will constantly fight. The MAYURI unit is actually the fear of the KOJI unit due to unknown circumstances. The MAYURI unit will often try to experiment on the KOJI unit in it's sleep.

ZARAKI KENPATCHI: The two units get along well. The KOJI unit often supplys him with fights. The two are also drinking buddys with the KYORAKU unit

Other unit interactions:

YORUICHI SHIHOIN: This unit is pretty compatible with your KOJI KAZEFUME unit. The KOJI unit often gets new ideas to prank the BYAKUYA unit from it.

YACHIRU KUSAJISHI: This unit is another compatible unit with the KOJI KAZEFUME unit. The KOJI KAZEFUME unit will often bribe YACHIRU with candy, to rig the BYAKUYA unit's house with traps.

GENRYUSAI SHIGEKUNI YAMAMOTO: Despite being the KOJI unit's higher up, the KOJI unit often back talks and argues with the YAMAMOTO unit's decision. The KOJI unit became captain from Personal Recommendation. The YAMAMOTO unit and the MAYURI unit were the only ones to object.

JOSHIRO UKITAKE:The two units get along quite well. The KOJI unit often spends the same amount of time in the hospital for injurys rather then sickness.

Warning: The JOSHIRO UKITAKI unit's safety cannot be guarantied. he may fall victim to a counter prank from the BYAKUYA unit.

Cleaning:

The KOJI KAZEFUME unit is capable of cleaning himself, and he prefers it that way unless you a woman. But if you insist on cleaning him yourself, please remember the following: do not machine-wash; towel-dry only, do not tumble dry. Avoid using Dove shampoo. Use Lo'real for certain reasons.

Energy:

Your KOJI KAZEFUME unit needs a lot of nourishment in order to function properly. Feed him 6 daily, preferably something healthy, giving him sweets only every 2 meals. Keep him away from onions due to allergys.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Hey what's going on? The KOJI unit disappeared for 3 weeks and came back in a full body cast!

A: The KOJI unit probably pulled a extreme prank on a BYAKUYA unit and was sent to the hospital due to thousands of cut wounds, or said a very bad pick-up line with an ISANE unit.

Q: The KOJI unit and the BYAKUYA unit are hanging out! What's the deal with that!

A: Whoa, calm down there, Bulls-eye. The KOJI unit and the BYAKUYA unit are actually good friends. The KOJI unit is just an extreme prankster. In fact, the person who recommended the KOJI unit to be a captain was the BYAKUYA unit him self.

Q: The Koji unit's blade is huge and his hair is orange. What the hecks going on!

A: Sorry you must have gotten an ICHIGO KUROSAKI Unit by accident. You can send him back for a KOJI unit or keep the one you got.

Troubleshooting:

Problem: Your KOJI KAZEFUME unit has been missing for weeks.

Solution: Did you check a hospital? That's usually where he goes if he's missing due to extreme cuts.

Problem: The KOJI unit is saying 'Bulbasaur' or 'Pikachu!'

Solution: You either have the wrong unit and have received a POKEMON unit or the KOJI unit is going through Japanese Puberty.

Problem: You ran out pranking materials.

Solution: You can order another pranking kit for $50.00

With proper care and maintenance, your KOJI unit will lead a long and happy life. Just try to stop him from getting killed from ISANE, BYAKUYA and MAYURI units.

Arf: Contest continues! Come up with more ideas to put Koji in his place!

Here's his Zanpakuto:

Name: Kazetaka (Wind Hawk)

Realese command: Ride the thermals

Non-realesed: It's a regular Katana with a butterfly hilt.

Realesed: Its a staff with a blade at each end.

Ability: Complete manipulation of wind

Bankai: Fanku Kazetaka(Funky Wind Hawk)

Bankai Ability:Allows him to have faster reaction times. Perfect for DDR.