Well, everyone I'm here bringing you all a new chapter and I hope you all enjoy it.

I did try my hand at making things a lot more funny so let me know if I did a good job or over did it.

Anyway, let's begin!

(aaaaaaaaaaa): Drunken talk translation.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC and what he does. Everything else is owned by their respected creators.

Chapter 13: Drunken Stupor

We made it to the harbor of the town. The buildings looked plain and simple.

We were met by a whole group of smiling people along with huge curls, wearing a navy blue suit and holding a saxophone.

"Welc…*cough* MA MA MAAAAAAA! Welcome! My name is Igarapoy. And it is my honor as mayor to welcome you to Whiskey Peak." He said cheerfully.

'His actual name is Igaram and he just changes it to Igarapoy...how did he not get found out sooner?' I thought.

"My name is Luffy, nice to meet you." Our captain said to Igarapoy.

Igarapoy smiled and said, "You'll find that this is a place that thrives on making liquor and music. Hospitality is a mater of pride in our town. The smiles run long, and the liquor flows like water!"

"Would you permit that we throw a party in honor of your arrival so that we may hear *cough* MA MA MAAAA! Your tales of adventure?" Igarapoy finished.

Luffy, Sanji, and Usopp didn't need to be asked twice as they quickly shouted. "We'd Love Too!"

Nami however stepped forward and asked how long it would take for the Log Pose to set. Igarapoy just brushed her off, telling her not to worry about it.

"Now! Let's Prepare To Party! Sing And Be Merry!"

The party was ok and all but, the one we had back in Cocoyashi Village was better. But, I think that was because, we actually had a reason to party.

Usopp was busy telling over a dozen people about his 'adventures'. I was suprised that so many people even pretended to be interisted.

Sanji looked like he was in heaven. Considering, he was flirting with a handful of girls and had yet to be rejected.

Luffy...well, Luffy was eating food. Which, he had been doing since the party started 20 minutes ago.

I, however, was enjoying myself as I drank mug after mug of alcohol. See, back in Cocoyashi I only had enough to get buzzed and I was never one for drinking in the first place so, I thought what the hell!

"You think that's enough?" Zoro asked as he put down his own mug.

I slammed down, what must have been my thiry-ish mug. "Do't ell me wat to do!"(Don't tell me what to do!) I shouted, in a drunken slurr. "I dink ow uch I ant!"(I'll drink how much I want!)

Zoro just rolled his eyes at me.

I turned to see the guy that was carrying a barrel of...I think rum. "Eyyyyyy!"(Hey!) I shouted causing the guy to look at me. I then waved my hand in my direction. "Ere!"(Come here!)

The guy came over to me, still carrying the barrel. "Yes?" he asked.

"Hat um?"(That rum?) I asked, pointing at the barrel.

"Yes, it is." he answered with a smile.

"I tke at!"(I'll take that!) I shouted grabbing the barrel and putting a small hole in the top and began drinking like a man dieing of thirst.

'Cortez, you need to stop drinking so much.' Morgan said.

'Y? U'll ake me aaaa beter.'(Why? You'll make me all better.) I replied.

'Wrong.'

''Wat?'(What?)

'You think I'm going to be your personal doctor for you doing something like this? Not happening! You want to drink, you deal with the consequences.'

'Ine srew u!'(Then screw you!)

With that I stopped talking to Morgan and called for another barrel.

"U no tis ake my ay!"(You know this makes my day!) I shouted with an arm around purple haired twins.

"Why is that?" asked the one on my right.

"Uase! I aways antd to b ith...uhhhh...wat tha ting at u r?"(Cause! I always wanted to be with...uhhh...what's that thing that you are?) I asked.

"Twins." the one on my left answered.

"Ight! Tins! Ut, u no wat ake it betr?"(Right! Twins! But, you know what makes it better?) I asked.

"What?" the two asked at the same time.

"A arem!"(A harem!) I shouted, as I looked at the other four girls around me.

How did I go from drinking barrels of rum to this? Well, after my third barrel Morgan told me that he was done making sure that I didn't kill my kidney or liver, I can't remember, anyway so I started walking around and bumped into Sanji, who thought I was trying to up stage him in front of the ladies and during my drunken stupor I slammed his head through a table knocking him out, he had a few drinks as well. So, all the girls swooning over Sanji began swooning over me.

The girls all giggled at my reaction.

"Tis ooo appy I uld ry! Ut, I ont cus I a an."(I'm so happy I could cry! But, I won't cause I'm a man.) I said patting my chest, but I noticed my chest was a lot softer. "Wen I et boobs?"(When did I get boobs?) I asked.

I then saw that I was patting the twin on my rights breast.

"Orry, bout tat."(Sorry, about that.) I said.

"It's ok, but don't leave out my sister." she said leaning up agianst me.

"I undt rem of it!"(I wouldn't dream of it!) I exclaimed as I repeated the process on the other sister.

"You know..." one girl said.

"We could..." another continued.

"Always..." one more added.

"Have some..." the lasted continued.

"Fun." the twins finished.

A large grin spread across my face. "Et's go!"(Let's go!) I shouted and stood up. But, I stood up to quickly and fell forward past out.

The next thing I remember was waking up seeing that everyone was gone.

"Ere evry ne go?"(Where did everyone go?) I asked out loud.

I didn't really recieve an answer so, I began...stumbling around.

"Hey! One of the guys is awake!" someone shouted.

I turned around seeing five goons behind me.

"Ey!"(Hey!) I shouted. "Ere te um on?"(Where'd the rum go?) I asked. I then realized that I had pretty much quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean and began laughing my drunk ass off.

"This is to easy." one of the guys said, as he began approaching.

Once the guy got close enough he triedto grab a hold of me, but unlucky for him that I may have beem completely wasted, but I remembered that these guys were bounty hunters.

"Wastred Pnch!"(Wasted Punch!) I shouted as I threw a punch at the guy, but the punch missed.

It was the best though since I actually channeled chakra into my leg instead and the missed punch caused me to spin and accidently kick the guy in the chest.

The poor bastard flew through the wall of the nearby building.

The other few that were watching were in complete shock. But, that quickly faded as they saw me charging towards them...still laughing about my earlier comment.

I spent the next few minutes running around beating people up and making stupid comments that were making me laugh the entire time.

At some point I took to the roofs, but that actually involved me breaking through the roof of some building.

I soon reached the end of my roof tops and saw Zoro fighting a very buff lady.

"Dyamic Tre!"(Dynamic Entry!) I shouted as I did a flying kick of the roof at the girl.

Zoro and the girl stopped to see what the hell was going on only for the girl to take a chakra charged kick to the face.

The poor thing went flying back into a wall.

"Ello Zoro!" I called out and then began laughing once agian at the little ryhme I made.

"I don't know if I should thank you or kick your ass." Zoro commented as he walked towards me.

I just shrugged my shoulder and turned around to see Igarapoy, Mr. Nine, and Vivi with a few other goons behind them.

"How are even able to stand after all the alcohol you drank?" Mr. Nine asked in suprise.

"I's spcal!"(I'm special!) I exclaimed.

This caused a few people to sweat drop.

"Anyway...since you were so nice to come here we don't have to waste time looking for you." Nine said.

"You think you weak fools can stop the two of us?" Zoro asked.

That question caused Nine to go off on some speech about the Baroque Works agents strength and rank.

I got tired of it and threw a barrel at them. "Sut up!"(Shut up!) I screamed.

They all dodged the barrel and they got ready to attack.

Igarapoy pulled out his saxophone.

"Igarapop!"

He then shot bullets out of the thing at me and Zoro, but we managed to dodge them

Mr. Nine then attacked Zoro and the two began battling each other, while I kept dodging the bullets from Igarapoy.

"Ur usci blos!"(Your music blows!) I shouted at him and began laughing at my joke, just making the few that were paying any attention to sweat drop at my lame joke.

I looked to see how Zoro's fight was going just in time to see Mr. Nine do a flip off a roof.

I began laughing at that as well.

"Is that the best you can do?" Zoro asked.

"I'm still here." I heard Miss Wednesday from behind me. I turned around to see her on top of a giant duck.

"Take a look. What do yout think?" She said in a seductive manner. She raised her arms above her head and began swaying her body.

During my drunken stupor I followed every motion her body made, with a stupid grin on my face.

"Do you like my Perfume Dance?" she asked.

"I ike it a ot."(I like it a lot.) I replied.

I think I heard Zoro yelling at me, but during the Perfume Dance and me still being wasted I could have cared less.

"Peacock Slasher!"

Vivi then pulled at some blade weapon and rode the giant duck at me ready to slice my head off.

Of course, she didn't take into account that I was so wasted that I was actually fighting to keep myself awake and standing and her Perfume Dance was really relaxing.

So...when she got close enough I just fell over ready to sleep.

"Ight Ight."(Night Night.) I said with a yawn.

I heard her hit a wall and after that I'm not entirely sure what happened.

Until, I heard Zoro shouting at me to wake up.

"Hey! Get your ass up!"

"Ive ore mites."(Five more minutes.) I replied.

The answered I recieved a wack on the head. Making me jump awake.

I saw Zoro staring at me with a smirk and I saw that everyone else was laying down unconcious.

"Come on, let's go." he said as he began walking off.

"Nah, I gon ook round."(Nah, I'm gonna look around.) I called back to him.

He just shrugged his shoulders and left.

To Be Continued...

I hope you thought this chapter was good and funny. Also, Cortez wil remain drunk for a good bit of the Whiskey Peak arc. Another thing is Cortez may seem a little bit different because, he is wasted behond compare that is why he is acting like an idiotic perv.

Now, don't forget to review!