A/N: Greetings again, all. This has been a 'fun' chapter to write. Let me know what you think of it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: For kidnap and abduction, though it is mostly tongue-in-cheek.

WARNING: For a lot of swearing. Because it turns out Martin!Merlin has a filthy mouth on him.

Jocelyn shrugged. "It will take a lot of effort to keep the Professor from remembering anything. I suspect there is a reason why she is his flatmate."

Arthur realised, suddenly, what she was saying. "To keep him close to her."

"Exactly," said Jocelyn. "If we could take him from her long enough, maybe the magic will lose its grip."

They all stared at one another. Turk clapped his hands together and grinned.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced. "I believe it's time for a good old-fashioned kidnapping."

The HQ erupted.

"Kidnapping?" Sarah yelled. "Are you mad? Do you know how much trouble we'd get in? This is the 21st century, Turk, not the 6th, you can't just steal people from their homes! The cops will have us in seconds!"

"It's not his home," Turk reasoned. "This is Merlin's home. Morgana kidnapped him first. If you think about it, we're actually saving him."

"Not while he thinks he's called Martin, we're not!" Sarah argued.

"Look," Donald said, "If it's the only way we can get him to remember who he is – "

"Personally, I'm all for a bit of risk," Dan added, and grinned wolfishly.

"It won't work," said Arthur quietly.

There was a pause. Everyone stared at him.

"It won't work," he repeated, looking up at them. "Not if Morgana is keeping him. You'll never beat her. You won't even get close to him."

The staring turned into smirking.

"Pur-lease," said Dan.

"You underestimate our badass abilities," added Turk.

"No," argued Arthur. "You don't understand. This is Morgana. She took Camelot when no other enemy could touch us. She turned some of my allies against me, even my wife. She almost destroyed Merlin multiple times and he is meant to be the greatest sorcerer in the world! If she wants to keep Merlin then she will, and you will never be able to take him from her."

There was an obstinate silence. Dan and Turk pouted.

"We've been trained by Merlin," Jocelyn said finally, softly. "He taught us everything. He found us and told us we weren't crazy, we were special. He helped us hone our abilities and open them out at the same time. He gave us everything and because he wanted us to be the best we could be. He had no other motive but that he wanted to help us. Did you really think that when the time came, we wouldn't do all we could to help him?"

Arthur opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out.

"Surely," Donald said quietly, "If it might save the Professor, it's worth a try at least?"

Arthur glanced at Sarah. Sarah sighed, but nodded.

When they came back to the HQ at about midnight, Jocelyn was scanning her crystal ball again with fierce concentration. "I've got his address," she said. "He is in the flat, but so is Morgana. In separate rooms, I think. Probably sleeping."

"Now," Turk said, business-like. "I can use my magic to make us invisible and I can also stifle the sounds we make – "

"And I can get us through the lobby of the flat, assuming the porter doesn't have magic – " Dan put in, winking.

"And I can get us into the flat," Sarah finished. "But we'll need all of us to actually get the Prof out of the building...in case, you know, he puts up a fight."

"He thinks his name is Martin and that he's a telemarketer," Donald said, with distaste. "And we're going to bloody abduct him. He's going to put up a fight."

"Oh, and if we do bump into Morgana, at least we've got Donald to try and stifle her magic a bit," put in Sarah, and smiled innocently as he grimaced.

They clustered together on the threshold of the door of the HQ.

"Right," said Sarah. "Anyone want to pull out?"

There was silence.

"Okay, just me then," Sarah said. She sighed. "Come on then, folks, I guess you only live once."

"YOLO," added Dan.

Arthur coughed. "Actually, this is my second time," he said.

There was an awkward silence.

"Right, then," said Turk.

"Sodding hell, this is insane," said Donald.

They left all together.

"Hi," Dan said cheerfully to the porter. He was so small that Turk had to lift him up by the collar to face the porter. "We're just breaking in here. You're going to let us go and let us leave, and you're never going to remember this happened at all. Okay?"

The porter's gaze went blank. "'Kay," he said.

"Beautiful," said Dan. Turk lowered him to the floor. Sarah frowned for a moment, then smiled. "Security cameras are offline," she said. "Turk."

"Okay, get in a huddle," Turk ordered. "I can blanket us with invisibility, but we need to stay together."

They bunched together, bumping shoulders. Most of the group were grinning at each other, caught up in the moment. Arthur had to admit, even though he had more experience in quests then he knew what to do with, he was still feeling excited. Somehow that thrill of adventure never got old.

Turk waved his hands over them, then nodded. "Okay, we're good to go."

Arthur glanced down at himself, but he could see nothing amiss. The others nudged him towards the lift, which was waiting patiently for them, and the trouble really began.

"There could be an alarm," Sarah said, as they faced the blank flat door. "Magical, not electrical, otherwise I'd sense it. But we have no way of knowing."

"The Prof would be able to sense it," Dan said in a small voice.

"We've gone too far to turn back." Donald, who had surprisingly got into this adventure more than anyone else, spoke up. "Let's just try it."

Sarah glanced at Arthur, who nodded. The thought that Merlin could be behind that door...it was too tempting to pass up. How could he go back, knowing he had been so close?

Plus, he had never been one to fail a quest.

"Okay, fine," Sarah said, and concentrated.

The door swung open. They braced themselves for an alarm, for Morgana to run screeching out of her room, for anything...but there was silence. Silence and darkness.

They clustered inside. "Do you hear anything?" Donald whispered.

"Donald, you don't need to whisper, I'm stifling our noise," Turk said, but he was talking quietly as well. Something about the room demanded it.

They shuffled into what looked like a living room, letting their eyes adjust. There was absolute silence.

"I think he's in that room," Jocelyn said, pointing to a door at the left.

"I hope you're bloody right, or we're going to walk straight into bloody Morgana," Sarah muttered, and opened the door.

It was a bedroom, very messy, filled with clutter and a million miles away from Merlin's neatly ordered studio flat...but inside the tiny single bed was lying a very familiar figure.

"Oh my god," squealed Dan. "We've actually done it!"

Merlin was lying stretched out on his back like he'd often slept before, his dark hair ruffled every which way, his face free of lines and creases. It was such a familiar sight that Arthur's stomach ached from it. He had seen that face on hunts, on nights before battles when he couldn't sleep and Merlin had been lying near, pale face lit by the moon and peaceful in its slumber.

He stepped forward.

"Arthur, no!" Sarah hissed, but he had already put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

Martin woke up, suddenly, to find a tall, blond, gorgeous stranger looming over him.

In other circumstances, he would not be opposed to this. But this was the middle of the night and he was pretty sure he had fallen asleep minus one tall, blond, gorgeous stranger and thus should not be waking up to one.

"Holy shit!" he yelped, and sat up, shuffling back into the wall. The stranger started back as well.

"You can see me?" he said.

"Of course I can see – " Martin started, then stopped when someone else said, "And hear you?"

He glanced over. In the doorway was clustered a whole group of people, all staring at him with wide eyes.

"Oh shit," Martin said. "Oh shit, burglars, oh shit – Morga – "

"No!" Tall, Blond and Gorgeous clapped his hand fiercely over Martin's mouth. "Nonono," he said. "Not a good idea. Don't speak. Bad idea."

I could bite his hand, Martin thought, but he was a momentarily distracted by the blue eyes staring at him. They seemed oddly familiar.

"This isn't good," a goth girl in black clothes with black hair was saying. "If he can see us and speak to us..."

"Then maybe it isn't working on people with magic," a skinhead man in a leather jacket was saying. "Shit."

"We need to shut him up," said a small boy viciously. "We can't have him yelling and screaming all the time – how're we going to do that if your stupid magic – "

"Don't call my magic stupid," snapped Leather Jacket. "No more stupid than yours, your magic doesn't work on magic people either – "

"Guys," Goth Girl said, "Can we keep it down?"

"Of course!" yelped a man with a terrible moustache. "That's it!"

The others glared at him.

"Your magic doesn't work with magic people, Dan," Moustache said to Small Creepy Boy, "But the Prof doesn't think he has magic at the moment, does he? He thinks he's just a normal guy like the rest of us. Maybe it'll work."

"But he can see and hear us," an old lady pointed out. "So that involves magic – "

"Look, can we just try?" Moustache snapped back.

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous had let his hand on Martin's mouth slip a bit, too distracted in what the others were saying. Martin glanced up at him, wondering if he could try for a scream...and then suddenly realised all at once where he had seen him before.

"Hang on!" he said. "You're the guy from earlier toda – "

"Argh," Tall, Blond and Gorgeous said desperately, and clamped his hand back over Martin's mouth.

Martin rolled his eyes. The others gave Tall, Blond and Gorgeous exasperated looks.

"Right, okay, I'll try," said Small Creepy Boy. He crept closer to Martin. Martin tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go, he was already up against the wall. He threw a despairing look at Tall, Blond and Gorgeous, who shrugged helplessly.

"Sorry, Merlin," he said.

There he goes with that 'Merlin' thing again, Martin thought, and then Small Creepy Boy had caught his attention and he forgot everything else, caught up in his gaze. "You will not speak," the boy said. "Unless I command otherwise. You will follow us wherever we go, unless I command otherwise. You will do as I say. Do you understand?"

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous warily took his hand off Martin's mouth. Martin opened his mouth to argue, to say something, to scream and yell and get the cops round, but nothing came out. His throat was working, he could feel it working but there was nothing...

He stared up at them despairingly.

"Wow," Small Creepy Boy said, and he sounded almost sad. "It worked."

"Oh, Prof," said Goth Girl, and she really did sound sad. "You've forgotten everything."

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous said nothing, but something dimmed in his eyes.

"Right," said Leather Jacket. "Let's go. Quick."

They grabbed Martin, pulling him off the bed, and he was shocked to feel his feet moving willingly towards the door. He readied himself to pull back, but his arms wouldn't obey him - he just kept moving with the group.

"Okay," Goth Girl said, towing them all through the living room. "Stay quiet, we don't want to wake – "

And then something cracked in Martin, something deep inside him, buried far below everything else. He forced whatever it was through him desperately, and managed to work his throat just enough to scream out, "Morgan!"

"Shit!" shouted Moustache.

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous slapped his hand over Martin's mouth again, but there was no point, whatever it was that had helped Martin shout that one word had vanished again. He slumped back into line with them, just as a light came on from Morgan's room.

Oh god, he thought. Yes, quick –

"Get him out!" snapped Goth Girl, and they shoved him out into the hallway.

The others piled after Merlin, Arthur last, but as he stepped across the threshold, he heard someone shriek, "No!" and suddenly his limbs froze, joints melding together, and he was frozen in place.

With a lot of difficulty, he twisted his head. Morgana was standing at the entrance to her room, one hand raised, her eyes blazing with fire.

"No," she shrieked hoarsely. "Arthur Pendragon."

Arthur desperately tried to move, but he couldn't, and it was suddenly, horribly too familiar to the last time he had seen Morgana, while he was dying from his wounds and Avalon was too far away. She stepped forward through the darkness, her hair wild around her head, hand outstretched and eyes glowing -

And then he felt Donald grab his shoulder, throw out his own hand and shout some indefinable word.

Morgana faltered. Arthur was abruptly unfrozen; he grabbed hold of Donald and they shoved each other out of the door and ran for it, ran as fast as they could.

Morgana's scream of rage followed them as they fled.

They caught up with the others on the street outside, the porter's vague 'Good evening' echoing after them. Sarah had hailed a taxi and was bundling the others inside. She waved at them frantically, they squeezed themselves in as quickly as possible, and soon the taxi was driving away from the building and Morgana.

"Thank god," said Donald. He was trembling from head to toe. "Thank god, thank god."

Arthur patted his shoulder. "You were very courageous," he said.

Donald stared at him. "Really? You really think so?"

Arthur nodded and smiled broadly at him. "You can be my first new knight."

Donald grinned giddily. "Knight of King Arthur," he murmured. "Sir Donald."

He sat back and closed his eyes contentedly. The taxi drove on.

They piled into the HQ and Dan graciously gave Martin his voice and limbs back.

"Okay," said Martin immediately. "Firstly, what the hell? And secondly, how did you do that?"

He was greeted with carefully blank looks.

"Do what?" Goth Girl asked, with a bit of a grin.

Martin glared at her. "You know what I mean," he snapped. "On the outside this place looks like a print shop, on the inside it's completely different! How did you do that?"

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous shrugged. "Magic?" he said, and smirked.

Martin set his jaw. "Look," he said, "You might be blond and gorgeous, but that doesn't entitle you to kidnap perfectly respectable people and then…then mock them!"

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous's mouth twitched. "Gorgeous?" he said. "Merlin never said I was gorgeous."

Martin rolled his eyes. "Then your Merlin was a blind moron," he said. "The point remains. This is kidnap! And what is it with you and calling me Merlin?"

The grin that was playing around Tall, Blond and Gorgeous's mouth vanished immediately. He dropped his crossed arms. "Because you are Merlin," he said.

Martin stared at him. "Uh," he said. "No. I'm not. I've said before. My name is Martin. For god's sake, I come from Fulham!"

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous gave him a blank look.

"Merlin, you simply don't remember who you are," Old Lady said softly. She hadn't spoken much since they'd snatched Martin from his flat. "Morgana has wiped your memory, she's given you new ones - "

"Morgana?" Martin interrupted. "Who the hell is Morgana?"

"Your housemate," Leather Jacket said bluntly.

Martin stared at him.

"Right," he said, and backed towards the door from where they'd come. "Okay. Look. This has been sufficiently weird for me, yeah, but I'm going now. So. Bye."

He turned on his heel and ran for the door.

"I don't think so," said Goth Girl cheerfully.

Martin twisted the doorknob. It didn't move. He pulled and pushed at the door. That didn't move either.

He was locked in.

The cold shiver of horror that he had been trying to resist finally trembled down his spine. He was suddenly, starkly aware that he was only in his pyjamas, without even his mobile to hand, and that so far he was outnumbered six to one.

He turned back to the group. They all watched him steadily.

"Who the hell are you people?" he asked, breathless with fear.

Tall, Blond and Gorgeous smiled. "These fine people are Merlin's Magicians," he said. "And my name is Arthur Pendragon."

Old Lady - aka Jocelyn - made them all tea, while Small Creepy Boy - aka Dan - found some biscuits. Tall, Blond and Gorgeous - aka Arthur Pen-fucking-dragon - rooted out a bag from nowhere and offered it to Martin.

"I packed some of your clothes," he said, a bit awkwardly. "And some boots."

Martin peeked into the bag. All the clothes were his size. The shoes were as well. He hesitated, but he was feeling cold and exposed; he pulled on a hoodie and dug his feet into the shoes and eavesdropped on the conversation the others were having.

"What I want to know," Leather Jacket - aka Turk - was saying, "Was why my magic didn't work on him but Dan's did?"

"I guess the power of persuasion is pretty powerful," Goth Girl - aka Sarah - was saying.

"He's confused," Jocelyn was saying. "He woke up, saw and heard a bunch of intruders, didn't realise we were meant to be invisible - "

"Plus he broke Dan's command once," Turk said. "He shouted for Morgana. It must have been his magic - "

"So he does have his magic still, it's just unstable?" Dan said. "Great, that's just great!"

"Just so you know," Martin said loudly, interrupting their muttering, "You're all mental and I'm going to go to the cops and report you as soon as I get away from you."

The group smiled at him, in varying degrees of pity and scorn. "Tea?" said Jocelyn, and brandished a cup at him.

They weren't like your average kidnappers, Martin thought. There wasn't a balaclava in sight and no knives anywhere. Also, they could stop people talking, they knew your clothes size well in advance and they locked doors with a blink of the eye.

He took the proffered cup. It smelled of Earl Grey and he didn't think they were likely to poison him now. He took a sip. It had been made exactly how he liked it.

"Let's see if I've got this straight," he said, trying to ignore how these total strangers knew how he had his tea without asking. "You think I'm Merlin. As in, the Merlin from all those King Arthur legends?"

"Yes," said Moustache, aka 'Sir' Donald.

"And you're King Arthur," he said, looking over at Arthur.

Arthur quirked an eyebrow. "Is it really impossible to believe?" he asked.

Martin opened his mouth to say no, but the word wouldn't come. He was tall, blond and gorgeous, sure, but there was also something else about this man. He didn't seem…right. Even standing in a t-shirt and jeans, he looked out of place. It had to be something to do with the way he was standing. He was…commanding, yes, that was it. He commanded the space around him. Effortlessly.

"Jesus Christ," Martin said aloud. He was crazy, he was actually going crazy with the rest of them. He put his tea firmly down on the table. "Okay, seriously, I want to go home."

"You can't," Turk said.

"Why?" Martin said. "Because my awesome bitch of a supermodel flatmate will erase my fucking memory?"

"Yes," said Arthur.

"Fuck you," said Martin. He turned on his heel, marching for the door even as he knew it was hopeless. "Fuck the lot of you, you crazy fucking - "

"Merlin - " Arthur started, following him hastily.

"Stop calling me that!" Martin yelled, wheeling around to face him. "I'm not fucking Merlin, I'm Martin, I've got a crap job, I've got a sodding uni degree, I've got a mum and a dad and a sister, shit, I've even got a dog, okay, I've got my own memories, my memories - "

Arthur grabbed his hand.

The world went white. Then, very slowly, it started coming back, but Martin wasn't in their HQ anymore. He was in a huge, brightly lit hall, and in front of him was a table and it was perfectly round and surrounded by red chairs. And there was someone beside him, he could feel it, could feel their wordless presence at his shoulder.

He turned. The person was Arthur, but dressed this time in armour and a crown, and a bright red cloak. And he looked like a King.

"Well?" Arthur said, and gestured to the great table before them. "What do you think? This was your idea after all."

Martin blinked. The image faded gently away and he was back in the HQ, and Arthur was still holding his hand, and he was staring at Martin with wide, blue eyes.

"Did you see - ?" he asked.

Martin snatched his hand out of Arthur's. "Was that you?" he snapped. "Did you do that? Do you have magic?"

"Wha - magic? Me?" Arthur said, and then laughed, a short bark of laughter. "No - that was - "

"That was my fucking dream," Martin shouted. He was shaking from head to toe now. "I dreamed that, how did you - "

"It wasn't a dream," Arthur shouted back. "It was a memory, you clotpole!"

There was a rattled silence. Martin and Arthur stared at each other. The Magicians stared at them.

"Right," Jocelyn said after a pause, and put her cup down on the table. "It's late enough. I think we all need some rest."

"We can't leave him alone," Sarah muttered. They had huddled in a group while Merlin sulked on the outside, kicking at a computer that was 'refusing' to turn on. "And we can't really leave him here, it might not be safe from Morgana. If we can see through the illusion, she might be able to as well."

"But where else is safe?" Donald said.

"Merlin's studio flat," Arthur said suddenly. "I'll stay with him. You can lock us in overnight."

"Plus," Jocelyn said, latching onto the idea, "He might remember something. Surrounded by all the things he owns - well, maybe something will get through."

"Agreed," said Sarah.

"Agreed," murmured the rest of the group.

The flat was weird. The flat was tiny, and far too neat for Martin's tastes, but it was weird as well. He couldn't work out what was wrong with it. It was like every time he blinked, something had moved or shifted somehow, a lampshade had turned, a book had jumped from one pile to another. Nothing seemed very stable.

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked from a corner.

Martin shot him a venomous look. "Oh sure," he said. "I just got locked into some unknown fucking flat in the middle of nowhere by a bunch of people who apparently have magic, oh, and guess what? I'm sharing it with fucking King of the fucking Britons."

Arthur blinked. "You swear a lot these days," he said simply.

"Fuck you," said Martin, but without feeling. He sat on the bed, suddenly exhausted.

Arthur sat down slowly on the sofa. "I suppose you can have the bed," he said grudgingly. "It is yours after all."

"Gee thanks, King Arthur," Martin drawled. "Are you always this generous?"

"Mostly," Arthur shot back. "Though you were constantly nagging at me to be more so."

"I don't nag," Martin snapped.

"You do nothing but," Arthur retorted.

They glared at each other. Martin toed off his shoes and pulled off his hoodie, lying back down on the bed. It was soft and enveloping. He felt his eyes drift close, listened to Arthur moving around loudly.

"You," he mumbled, "Are a colossal prat."

There was a small silence. "Say that again," said Arthur, sounding weird.

"I said," Martin repeated a bit more loudly. "You're a prat."

There was another odd silence. Martin cracked open an eye. Arthur was standing, staring at him, and there was the strangest look on his face.

Martin frowned; Arthur couldn't be offended, Martin had said far ruder things to him that evening already. And it didn't look like he was offended…it looked…

And then Arthur smiled, and Martin realised it hadn't been indignation he had been seeing on Arthur's face, but fondness.

"Maybe there's hope for you yet, Martin," Arthur said, and smiled a smile brighter than the sun.