SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HAS NOT GOTTEN TO KANDA'S PAST IN THE MANGA! From here on out, I am going to have spoilers from later in the manga D Gray Man!

Chapter 51- - Lenalee

Four months and 20 days later

"Lenalee, can I come in?" General Klaud asked,

"Yes," I said. I sat up, and wiped the tears away. The general entered, and sat on my bed. She grabbed my hand.

"You really miss them, don't you?" She asked.

I nodded, but didn't say anything.

Three months ago, all of us exorcists had come back from missions and learned two disturbing thing. One: the fourteenth Noah was trying to take Allen over, and two: Kanda had been killed in battle. Apparently, his foe was his best friend who he though was dead Alma Karma. I don't know the details of the battle, and I don't want to know.

Then, about a month later, Allen escaped from his prison, and, according to others, joined the Noahs. However, when I found him, there was no Noah around. Not just that, but Leverrier's assistant Howard Link had been killed by Allen (or so everyone says).

"You and Kanda were really close, weren't you?" The general asked.

I nodded. "We knew each other like the back of our hands." I started to cry again.

Klaud hugged me, and ran her hand down my head in a placating motion. "It's going to get better, Darling. I know it hurts, but I promise that it will get better. I've gone through a very similar situation as you are going through."

I couldn't say anything because I was crying so hard. I knew that the general had seen her entire family be murdered by a maniac when she was a teenager, and then she had found out that her lover and daughter were killed by akuma only a few years later. Saying that she had been in a similar situation was an understatement.

The general's golem started to blink. "General Klaud and Miranda Lotto, please come to the Supervisor's office for your mission," Rever said.

Klaud sighed. "I'm sorry we couldn't talk much. Lenalee, the best way to stay sane after something like this is to talk to people about it. I know that sounds crazy, but if you fret over something all alone for too long, you can get sick. Do you understand me?"

I nodded. "I do. Thank you, General."

"Of course," She said. She kissed my head, and stood up. "I'll see you later."

"Good luck," I said. I watched as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. When she was gone, I buried my face in my pillow, I screamed, and threw it across the room.

The pillow hit the wall with a soft thunk, right as Daisya walked through it. He looked at me curiously.

"Why did you just throw a pillow at me?" He asked.

"I didn't," I muttered. "I threw it at the wall. You just walked through at the same time."

"Why are you punishing the wall?" He asked, walking over to me. "She doesn't need to be punished, it's not she fault!"

"So now the wall's a she?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"Yes," Daisya said. "Her name is Oawall."

"Oawall?" I asked.

Daisya nodded. "Put it into syllables, and you've got Oh- A- Wall."

I chuckled. "You're so weird."

He kissed my nose. "What's new? You should get some sleep, Boo. You've barley slept a wink for three months. You haven't been eating, and you've only come out of your room ten times at the most. Everyone's starting to get really worried- even Leverrier."

"He's probably just worried that an exorcist won't have enough strength to fight if it's needed," I mumbled.

Daisya glared at me. "I'm serious."

"So am I!" I snapped.

Daisya looked over to far end of the room, and he narrowed his eyes. He walked over to the chair in the room, and picked up a little knife. He sighed, and turned to me, worry on his face.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"Nothing," I said. I grabbed it from him, and stuffed it in my drawer near the bed. "It's to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?" He asked. "Lenalee, you're one of the strongest fighters here. Why would you need a knife to protect yourself?"
That was the last straw. I fell to my knees, crying even more than I had in three months. I felt Daisya's cold hand on my shoulder.

"Lenalee, are you hurting yourself?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No! I would never do that! It's just… there are reasons I don't feel safe."

"What are those reasons?" Daisya asked. "Lenalee, for years, I've kept out of this part of your life- I let Kanda handle keeping you safe from whatever it is; but now that he's… now that he's gone, I want to help you. If whatever the reason you feel the need to use a weapon to defend yourself, then I want to know. I worry for you constantly because you don't tell me things that hurt you."

"I'm scared," I sobbed. "I'm scared, Daisya. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared."

"How can I help you?" He asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I really don't know."

"Lenalee, can you please take a few deep breaths and calm down. You need to talk to someone, and if I'm the only one you will talk to, then I'll listen. But I need you to calm down enough to explain why you're so upset. Can you do that?"

I didn't answer at first. I closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. After a minute, I stood, and walked over to the bed. Daisya joined me, and grabbed my hand.

"Everything that's happened with Kanda and Allen, it's too much for me to handle," I said. "On top of the worry and sadness, I'm starting to have strange dreams again."

"Strange dreams?" Daisya asked.

I nodded "Like the ones I had when I was younger. They're like the dreams that scared me and sent me into hysterics. I couldn't fall asleep for nights because I was too afraid of what I might see. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah," Daisya said. "You only told Kanda what the dreams were about. The only things he ever told me were that they included death and blood."

"Those types of dreams have come back," I explained. "I see everyone dead- my friends, my family, and the Noahs. There's only two people alive- it's Allen and someone else. I think he's a Noah, but I'm not sure. He has the same gray skin, but I've never seen him. He has short, spiky, black hair, black eyes, and a nice smile. Allen's yelling at him, and the man's just laughing as if nothing's wrong. It's as if dead bodies do not surround him. Then the dream changes to show an old house, with two men standing there. One's the man in the last dream, except he has white skin instead of gray. The other man looks a lot like the first one, except he seems to have more of a clam vibe about him. They're yelling at each other, and all I can make out is the second man saying, 'You will not take him away from the world, Brother'."

"Do you know who the men are?" Daisya asked.

I shook my head. "I wish I knew. Kanda usually helped me decode my dreams. I've wanted to ask Zhu for help, but he's too upset about Kanda."

"What else happens in the dreams?" Daisya asked.

"There's a girl," I said. "She has chestnut colored hair that's always pulled up in a pony tail. She's running through fields and weaving through orchards and what not. She's laughing and she won't stop running. There's spirits of animals and people surrounding her. Whether she realizes them or not, I don't know. I can only make out one specific animal- a wolf. That was Arisa's favorite animal, right?"

He nodded. "She once said that she would always have a wolf in her dreams whenever she felt trapped or lost. She said that it would lead her out of someplace, or help her solve a problem."

"The wolf seemed to be guiding the girl," I explained. "It looked like she was running through Scotland. It almost looked like she was near the old building of the Order."

"Maybe you're just missing Arisa and the old building," Daisya suggested. "I bet that Arisa and Kanda are watching over us now as we speak."

"If they are, I wish that they would give us a sign," I muttered. "I feel like my entire world's being ripped apart slowly. A new tear in the world appears after every death."

Daisya stayed quiet. He just sat next to me, holding my hand. I looked over to see that he was looking at the ground.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," He said, shaking his head. "I was just thinking about Arisa." He stood up. "I think you should get some sleep. You'll never know when you'll have a mission."

I shook my head. "I won't be able to fall asleep. If I do manage that, I'll just be woken up by nightmares."

"At least you'll get some sleep," He said. He kissed my head. Immediately, I felt tiered. Everything started to blur, and I felt myself falling. My head hit the pillow, landing softly.

"What's… going on?" I asked groggy.

"I'm sorry I had to do that to you, Boo," Daisya said. "But you need sleep."

"What… did you… do…?" I fell asleep before he could respond.

I was standing by a grove of trees. Someone ran past me, and I caught a glimpse of chestnut colored hair. The figure stooped, and looked back. I recognized her as the girl from all of my other dreams.

"Damn," She muttered. She took of running again.

I turned around to see that the girl was being followed by a pack of akuma. There was a Noah leading them. He was one of the twins- the one I thought was called Davi.

"Where you going, girl?" Davi asked, jumping into the air. He landed in front of the girl, who fell onto the ground.

The Noah reached out to touch her, but she swiped at him with a knife that she must have pulled out of the bag on her side.

"You're pretty rude, you know that, right?" Davi asked.

"Oh, and stalking a girl with a bunch of akuma isn't rude?" The girl replied. How did she know about akuma?

Davi smiled. "So the Earl was right- you really do know about the war."
"I don't know much," She muttered. "I still have a lot to learn."

"You mean relearn?" He asked. He knelt down so that he was eye level with her. "I truthfully don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. I have a little experiment for you, girl. If you really are an exorcist, then you don't want the soul of this person to get destroyed, right?"

"What do you mean?" The girl asked. "How could it be destroyed?"

"Akuma!" Davi snapped. "All of you start counting down for self destruction!"

The akuma started to protest, but the Noah glared at them. "You have my orders, now do it!"
My heart was beating like crazy. I had seen an akuma self-destruct many times- it was a last defense for dome of them. They decided how to die, so they would self-destruct. However, when Allen and I had met the first Noah Road Kamelot, she ordered an akuma to self-destruct. The akuma didn't want to, but it had to listen to Road. Allen said that the soul would be lost forever- it would be destroyed.

The girl jumped to feet, and swirled around to face the akuma. The creatures all started to count down from ten, all at different paces.

"What are you going to do, Exorcist?" Davi asked.

The girl closed her eyes. The sky started to grow dark as storm clouds covered all of the blue up. Thunder roared like a pack of lions, and lightning lit the sky up.

Suddenly, three akuma exploded next to me. I leaped back, and looked at the girl. He hand was raised, holding something that I couldn't make out. Her eyes were open and they were glowing as white as the lightning. Wind whipped around her, sending her hair flying in different directions.

The Noah Davi took a step backwards, obviously not expecting so much power. I couldn't blame him- it was frightening to watch.

Something whipped through the air, crushing three more akuma. At first, I thought it was a streak of lightning, but then I noticed that it was a long whip.

I noticed that the girl held the end of a whip in her hand. The whip swung backwards behind her, then she lashed it forwards, hitting the last four akuma right before they reached the end of their countdown.

The girl turned to the Noah, who was staring at her with wide eyes. He snapped his fingers, and disappeared.

The sky cleared, returning back to a majestic blue. The girl's whip disappeared, and she fell backwards. He back landed against the ground hard. She was passed out of exhaustion.

I took a step forward, and then gasped as everything began to blur. Every color and detail blended together, making an abstract painting that was too confusing to look at.

My eyes flung open, and I sat up, quickly. I was in the infirmary room again. Daisya was standing next to the bed. The room was empty, but I could hear voices from outside.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"What?" I asked, completely confused. Why was I in the infirmary?"

"You had a fever," Daisya explained. "You were muttering in you sleep, and when I tried to wake you up, it didn't work. I remembered that whenever that happened, it meant that you had a fever. I, um, I couldn't do anything, so I had to get someone else to help. I went to General Tiedol, and appeared before him. He found you, and brought you here. The head nurse immediately put you on medicine, and your fever started to go down."

I was about to say something to him, when General Tiedol came in. He closed the door behind him with one hand while he carried a bouquet of flowers in the other. His eyes widened, and he started to smile like a mad man. He put the flowers down on a table, and through his arms into the air.

"DAISYA!" He yelled. He ran towards the ghost boy. However, he ran through him. I watched as the general's foot got caught on the leg of a bed, and he flew face first into the wall.

Daisya started to laugh, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Are you all right, General?" I asked.

Tiedol didn't have time to answer before the door that was next to him flew open, squashing him against the wall.

Inspector Leverrier stepped in, followed by his new assistant, whose name I didn't know.

"Good, you're awake," He said, walking over to my bed. "You have a mission, Lenalee."

The door closed, and Tiedol slowly walked over to us. He was rubbing his nose, and I saw tears in his eyes. The inspector and his assistant looked surprised.

"But she's sick," The general said. "That's why she's here."

"What were you…?" Leverrier looked confused. He shook his head. "She has not gone on a mission for three months, General. It's time she does."

"But she's sick," Tiedol repeated.

"Actually, I feel fine," I lied. I was feeling terrible, but I knew that it would be stupid if we all started to argue about me going on a mission. "Besides, I think it'll do me some good to get out of here."

"See, she's fine," Leverrier said. He turned to me. "You must go to London to pick up a package for me. You are not allowed to ask any questions about the package, but I need it in two days. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"The man who is to give you the package will be waiting for you by the clock tower at eight pm tonight. You must not be late."

"All right," I said. "I'll get ready to leave." I got out of bed. My legs felt weak, but I stayed standing.

"Marie will be going with you," He said.

"Okay," I said. I watched him as he walked out of the room. The moment he was gone, my legs gave out, and I fell. General Tiedol caught me.

"That was a stupid move on your part," Daisya muttered.

I glared at him. "It was better than people getting into an argument about me."

"Daisya's right," Tiedol said. "You're not well, Lenalee."

"I'll be fine," I said. I stood up, and started to walk around. "See, I can walk."

"But can you fight?" Daisya asked.

"I bet," I said. "I've got to go."

"I'm coming with you," Daisya said.

"No, you're not," Tiedol said. "I want to know how it is you're alive."

"I'm a ghost! Ghosts aren't alive!" Daisya exclaimed.

"I want to learn how you became a ghost, then," The general said.

They started to argue quietly. I took my chance, and snuck out of the infirmary. I felt sick, but I ignored the feeling. I kept walking until I got to my room. I got into my exorcist outfit, which I had barely worn in the last few months. I grabbed my case and my golem, and I walked out of the room.

I met Marie at on of the gates that lead into London.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yes," He said. "Are you?"

I nodded. "Yep."

We walked through the gate, and into the cold, London night air.