Chapter 20: Round and Round She Goes

It was a Sunday morning. Iori began to serve another one of her masterful brunches in the main dining room. She again received lavish praise and compliments on her culinary ability from everyone seated at the table.

Throughout the meal, Yui never took her eyes off the man who sat across from her. Meanwhile, Taichi was excitedly gabbing about the earthquake disaster drill that he was going participate in later in the week. The drill was going to simulate the near-complete destruction of Yamaboshi, including all of its hospital facilities.

Tomorrow the USNS Mercy would dock in Yamaboshi Harbor. During the drill the JRCS Disaster Rapid Response Team (DRRT) would be serving in various non-medical roles both on and off the great ship during the simulated emergency, doing victim rescue, triage selection, patient transport via helicopter, shelter set ups, security, feeding, and so on.

Inaba asked Taichi when the disaster drill would take place. He explained he didn't know, and that it was intentional to make it more of a surprise. It could happen at any time during the week, even in the middle of the night.

Then there was more general gabbing. Yui again asked Taichi about helping Aoki find work. Taichi replied he would look into it tomorrow.

At the end of the meal, Iori stood up and surprised everyone with announcement.

"I didn't actually prepare this brunch. Aoki made the whole thing himself."

Taichi slapped Aoki on the back. "Dude, congrats! You have some impressive cooking skills."

The large muscled man shrugged, "I guess I have a knack for it."

And Yui beamed at him.

The meal was over. Yui had gone upstairs to change into her gym clothes for her next workout. Meanwhile, Iori and Aoki were in the kitchen cleaning things up. Inaba stayed behind to help with the dishes.

After everything was put away, Aoki took off his apron and said, "Well that's that. I'm going upstairs to check on Yui."

Inaba stopped him. "Not yet."

"Hmm? What's up?"

Inaba grabbed his shirt and shoved him against the wall. Her face was stern. Then he noticed that Iori was standing next to her with the same hard expression on her face.

He tried to placate the two women. "Uh, ladies, anything I can help you with? Is something wrong?"

Inaba pressed her fist harder into his chest. She said in a low growl, "Nothing is wrong. Yet. And it will stay that way if you know what's good for you. Capisce?"

Iori added, "You better listen to her, for your sake."

"W-What are you two talking about?"

Iori said, "We are talking about you and Yui."

Aoki said nervously, "Oh, uh, yes. Thank you. Thank you so much for helping her climb out of her shell yesterday. Taichi too."

Iori replied, "You're welcome. But now things have changed."

"Changed? How?"

Iori took a step towards him. He pressed his back further against the wall.

"What I mean is, Yui is now vulnerable. She doesn't have her androphobia to shield her anymore. To protect her."

"From what?"

Inaba said, "From you, dorkwad."

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you. And so help me, if you ever take advantage of that poor innocent defenseless girl.."

"Come now, ladies. Yui is hardly defenseless."

Iori got in his face. "She is to you. She's now completely unprotected."

Inaba growled, "That's right. So if you even think about doing anything improper with her, anything at all, then I will rip your beating heart out of your chest and show it to you."

Aoki gulped.

Then he said, "But, wait, I don't understand. Weren't you the ones who set things up for her to discover that she no longer had androphobia?"

Iori said, "That's right, we did."

"But you were the ones who planned all this! So why blame me?"

"Aoki, we are not blaming you. We are warning you. We did it to free Yui's mind so that she could enter into a normal healthy relationship with the guy she likes. That is you. But that also means that the normal rules now apply. She lost her physical protection, her androphobia, so now she's just like any other teenage girl - vulnerable."

Iori crossed her arms. "Remember, the Yui that awoke from that coma is still only 18. You're 21. That makes you the senior partner now. The responsible one."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

"Well now you know. Just think of me and Inaban as Yui's concerned parents, and think of yourself as the boyfriend who is dating our precious daughter. So you get one warning, and this is it: If you take advantage of her, if you hurt her in any way - and believe me I will know if you try - then I will kindly ask Dereban here to commit unspeakable acts of violence on your personhood that haven't been seen since the Middle Ages."

Inaba gave him a nasty smile. Aoki tried to melt into the wall.

Iori said, "So is that understood?"

Aoki jumped up with a salute. "Yes ma'am! Understood! Crystal clear!"

Inaba let go of his shirt. "Good. Now go upstairs. I'm sure she's waiting for you."

"Yes, ma'am! Thank you, ma'am!" He stumbled out of the kitchen and was gone.

Inaba began to wash her hands off in the sink. "As much as I enjoyed doing that, was it really necessary for us to threaten him that way? He's such a boy scout."

Iori started to remove her apron. "True. He's always been a complete gentleman around Yui. Always has been, always will."

"So threatening him like that really wasn't necessary, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

"But we did it anyway."

"Yeah."

"Good."

Inaba and Taichi were in bed for the night. She was wrapped up in her own blanket, facing the wall away from him. She was lost in her own dark thoughts.

From his own pillow Taichi continued to lay on his side and watched the back of his wife's head as she continued to brood in silence. His heart was full of concern and worry.

After a minute she said, seemingly to no one in particular, "Go ahead."

That startled Taichi. "Huh?"

She continued to face the wall. "Say it."

"Say what?"

"Taichi, you are going to ask me, 'Honey, what is the matter?' Then I say, 'Nothing,' then you say, 'Something is wrong, I can tell. What is it?', and then I say 'It is none of your business,' and you insist it is, and then you continue to pester me like that until I snap at you. Then you say 'It's all right dear, I understand.' Then I yell 'No you don't!' And then eventually I grab my blanket and sleep somewhere else."

Taichi remained silent as he looked at the back of his wife's head.

Inaba waited. "Hurry up and say it. Let's get our fight started."

Nothing.

After another minute she turned around under her blanket and faced him.

She studied him. "Ah, I see."

"See what?"

"Iori talked to you again, didn't she.."

"She did."

"Figures."

"She told me to stop trying to help you."

That surprised her. "Really?"

"Yeah. My natural instinct is to help someone in need. But she explained that in your case it just pushes you away. She told me to stop doing that with you."

"She did?"

"Yeah, and there's more. She thinks she knows why we fight all the time."

"Which is?"

"She wants to talk to you about it first. Just you and her. In private."

"Fat chance. I know she's scheming, plotting something. I'm not letting her do her tricks on me."

"She's not."

Inaba was studying his face. "Liar. I can see it. So she is. I didn't know that. Thanks, Taichi."

"What?"

"Taichi, I can read you like a book. Never try to lie to me."

"I'm not. She isn't!"

"Thanks for the info. I didn't actually know she was plotting something against me until just now. I asked you that question to find out, and the reaction on your face just confirmed it."

"No! She is not plotting against you!"

"Then what is she doing?"

"She is trying to help you!"

Inaba rolled on her back to face the ceiling. "Same thing."

More silence.

Taichi said earnestly, "Look, we all know that Number Three has you trapped."

That startled her badly. She quickly rolled over to face him again. "Wait, you know about Number Three?"

"Yeah. Iori figured it out. It's not Heartseed this time. She thinks you made some kind of secret pact with Number Three against Heartseed, but you ended up screwing yourself over because of it. Am I right?"

Inaba eyes widened. She tightly clutched her stomach under the blanket.

Wait, Iori knows?

"Iori told me all about it."

Inaba began to panic.

She knows! She knows! She knows!

Taichi went on. "Now, Iori doesn't know what exactly that pact is.."

Inaba felt immediate relief. She released her hands from her midsection.

Iori doesn't know. Oh thank heavens.

".. but she has a theory."

Inaba froze again.

He said, "She thinks you are planning to wish yourself out of existence."

Inaba let out her breath. She said nervously, "What? That's silly."

Taichi caught her reaction. He raised himself up on his elbow in earnest and faced her. "Hey, I can read you too. It's not silly and you know it. I know that Heartseed and his ilk can do that, change the past I mean. Look, remember what happened during the age reversals? When Heartseed offered Iori a chance to change her past?"

Inaba remembered. Heartseed had offered Iori the opportunity to re-live her childhood all over again, to live her sad life differently the second time around. But she had rejected the offer because she knew that the Pentagon would have never formed.*

Taichi went on. "Look, Iori was the one who founded the StuCS. She was the core of our fivesome, and she still is. Do you remember how she rejected Heartseed's offer? She knew that our friendship together was too precious to give up, so she refused his offer to change the past."

Taichi slid over towards his wife. "And you are too precious for me to give up. Inaba, I love you so much.. so don't do it. Please."

He pulled open her blanket, got under the covers, and held her. "Please, don't you see? If you were too precious for Iori to give up, how do you think I feel? I can't ever give you up. I could never give you up. So don't, please, don't."

Her heart lept at his embrace. She gazed into his deep brown eyes. She started to tear up. "Taichi, I can't.."

He tightened his hold. "And what's more, I need you. I need you so badly. You always keep hammering away at me, telling me to change myself, to be more careful in saving others. I need you for that reason if nothing else."

That was true. She remembered Rina's revelation of her unconscious reason for marrying Taichi: To stop him from killing himself.

And if she herself were gone? What would happen to him then?

"Inaba, I need you so much. I need you to keep me on the straight and narrow, and only you can do it." His fingernails began to dig into her skin as he pressed his head on her shoulder. "So.. so please.. don't disappear. Don't disappear!"

She embraced him in return. She spoke gently into his hair, "All right."

He raised his head in hope. "You won't do it?"

She kissed him tenderly on the lips.

"Taichi, I love you beyond words. I could never hurt you."

He looked into her eyes. "Then promise me that. Promise me that right now."

She gave him a gentle smile as she stroked his hair. "Okay, you dumb lunkhead. But only on one condition: Promise me that you won't do anything stupid yourself, like get yourself killed, or anything like that."

He was resolute. "All right. I promise."

She lowered her head into his shoulder and spoke quietly.

"Then I promise I'll never, ever, hurt you."

He smiled at her. "It's a deal."

"Okay." She raised her head and wiped away his tear. "You swear?"

He lifted his right hand and extended his smallest finger. "Pinky swear."

She wrapped her pinky around his. "Pinky swear."

They released pinkies and they kissed again.

She wrapped herself around him tightly, "I love you so much."

They remained in their embrace in silence for several minutes.

Inaba continued to gently stroke his hair.

I will never, ever, hurt you, my dearest love.

I will give you what you need.

She kissed him, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Heartseed will be defeated, and you will be safe.

I love you so much.

I love you so much that I will let you go.

I will give you someone who will protect you. Because I cannot.

I will be gone.

Because I will never, ever, hurt you.

And so you must never know.

Keiso muttered to himself, "That ship is too big."

It was Monday morning. Keiso, Taichi, and Bakou were standing at Yamaboshi Pier Number 1 as a half dozen tugboats strained mightily against a great white wall that was higher than a 14-story building. They were pushing the USNS Mercy laterally, inch by inch, towards its final anchor point. They watched the engines of the tugs roar in angry fury as the water churned. It would take another hour before the ship would be fully docked and the gangplank lowered so they could go on board.

Taichi turned towards Keiso. "You think it's too big?"

"Just look at that thing." He pointed up. "There's no main deck. They built the superstructure straight up, with all those extra decks piled right on top of the original supertanker's main deck, edge-to-edge. It's just one big white wall going up into the sky."

He pointed higher. "See way up there, where those helipads are? Those have to be at least 40 meters up from sea level."

Bakou grunted, "41 meters."

Keiso sighed, "That's just great."

Taichi asked, "What's the matter? You don't like heights?"

"No, the sway."

"The sway?"

Bakou explained, "The higher you are on a ship, the larger the sway."

Keiso nodded. "Exactly. When I got married my wife and I went on the Asuka II for our honeymoon..."

Bakou interrupted him as he quoted the specs from memory: "50,000 gross tons, 240 meters long, 960 passengers."

Keiso said, "Uh, right. Anyway, it was my first time aboard a cruise ship. My wife and I booked this great honeymoon suite on the topmost deck, way up in the air. A great view. We loved it. Then that first night there was a squall.."

Taichi understood. "Hoo boy."

"Yeah. It was my first experience on the ocean, and from that I learned that I can get seasick in a bathtub. I hate the sea now. I can't even swim. Just the thought of going on that ship gives me the heaves."

Taichi asked, "What is your assignment for the drill?"

Keiso sighed, "That's the thing. I'm on the support crew refueling the Chinooks. So I'll be waaay up on the helipad most of the time, one of the highest points on the ship. It's going to absolutely suck."

Taichi tried to reassure him. "Dude, it's only a simulation. That ship is going to remain docked and anchored the whole time it is here. The harbor will block any waves. You'll be fine."

Keiso put his hands in his pockets. "Just the thought of going on board that ship makes me queasy."

"Bring some Dramamine then."

"I'm planning on bringing a bucket full."

Taichi kept trying to reassure him. "Don't worry. The weather forecast for Yamaboshi is warm and sunny all week, with only a mild breeze. There will hardly be any waves at all."

"But the weather forecast said there's a squall line approaching."

"And it's predicted to go 50km north of Honshu."

"Yeah, and we're on the north coast. What if the forecast is wrong?"

"Hey, you're afraid of a little rain?"

"Dude, this is a disaster drill, so we're going to be out here no matter what, rain or shine. I heard a rumor that the drill is going to simulate a helicopter collision just above the landing pad. I'm trying to memorize this 600 page procedural manual on helicopter landing and recovery, of which 450 pages are emergency procedures. Murphy's law says it's going to be rainy, and dark, and everything will go to [bleep], and I'm supposed to instantly remember which pressure valve to flip open for the fire suppression system. In seconds!"

Taichi patted him on the back. "Well, it sucks to be you."

"Gee, thanks for the support."

Then Bakou spoke up. "All of us will be challenged."

Keiso nodded. "He's right, you know. We're all in for [bleep] here. Kurosawa is usually a pretty nice boss, but he can become a total bastard if the circumstances warrant. He takes this disaster stuff really seriously."

Taichi looked down. "Yeah, I know."

"You heard Kurosawa's speech. He's going to use this drill to beat the crap out of each and every one of us."

Then Keiso asked, "So Taichi, what is your assignment?"

He replied, "SAR and triage."

Keiso looked at him sympathetically. "Ouch. Nasty."

It was because Search and Rescue (SAR) was one of the most difficult and dangerous assignments for anyone to undertake in the immediate aftermath of a major earthquake. The job included crawling into partially collapsed buildings, finding survivors, extricating them, and arranging for their medical triage.

Taichi knew that medical triage would be the most challenging task for himself. It was because in any major disaster there were always more injured people than medical facilities available to treat them all. As a first responder, Taichi would be responsible for determining which injured victims should be sent first to the emergency-aid tent stations for helicopter transport to the Mercy.

As he pulled the victims out of the rubble, he was supposed to assign each victim a colored tag. The four-colored tag system was called START (Simple Triage and Rapid Treatment). There were four colors, one for each classification: Those likely to survive regardless of the care they receive (green), those with serious wounds that were not immediately life threatening (yellow), those for whom immediate care was needed to survive (red), and those likely to die regardless of the care they receive (black).

Taichi would be evaluated and graded in the post-disaster action report regarding whether or not he had made the correct choices based on the START rules. For example, the rules stated that if a victim was not breathing that a black tag was to be assigned immediately, and that no attempt at resuscitation should be made until all other non-green patients had been attended.

Taichi knew that he had to mentally prepare himself to pass this test. It would be the greatest challenge he had ever faced in his young adult life.

The trio continued to watch the tugs push against the great white wall.

Taichi looked at Bakou and asked,. "So what is your assignment?"

The large man said simply, "SAR, then security."

Taichi knew he was ex-military. His biceps looked like they could benchpress a Volkswagen. Bakou never spoke much, and his dead face did not encourage anyone else to talk to him either.

The trio then heard a low hum behind them. They all turned around.

It was Kurosawa in his electric wheelchair. He was wearing Google Glasses and had two smart tablets mounted in front of him, each anchored to one arm of the wheelchair with a small metal clamp. He seemed to be muttering to himself. Then Taichi realized he was issuing orders through a mic clipped to his lapel.

As he got close Taichi began to hear him. "Zone Five is two hours behind schedule. No, I can't spare anyone. I'm still waiting on the safety check on the pyrotechnics. What? That's no excuse. Just find him! Tell the range safety officer to get his butt over there!"

Wait, pyrotechnics?

Kurosawa stopped in front of them as his staff bowed in greeting.

Taichi spoke for the group. "Good morning, Kurosawa-sensei."

The bald headed man ignored him. He was still talking into the mic. "Is the rain-stand up in Zone Three? Good. No, the wind machine doesn't require a big generator. Because it's an old aircraft engine, uses diesel not electricity. What? How could you forget the fuel! Dang it, find a truck and buy some!"

Kurosawa pulled off his headset and sighed. "Sorry, it's been a long day. I've been up since 3AM."

"We understand, sir."

Kurosawa didn't look tired at all. In fact, the handicapped man rubbed his hands in glee like a kid at Christmas. He gazed up at the ship and smiled. "Look at that. Isn't it marvelous?"

"Yes sir, it is."

"Pity it's not going out to sea. I wanted the Mercy to anchor offshore to make the drill more realistic. But the captain wouldn't do it. She's a real stickler for paperwork, that one. She said she couldn't do that without written orders from the US Military's Pacific Command. Oh well."

Taichi said, "Yes, that is a pity sir. Keiso here was just telling us how disappointed he was that we are not going to be out at sea."

Keiso gave him a look.

Kurosawa saw it and chuckled. "That's good. Keep your spirits up, boys. Humor is a great coping mechanism during times of trouble."

"Of course, sir."

Then Taichi added, "It's too bad I will be landside during the drill. I would have liked to have explored the ship. I hear it's quite impressive."

"That's why I brought you all here. To participate in the inspection tour."

The young new JRCS recruit was confused. "But sir, I thought I was going to do SAR and remain landside?"

"Yes, Yaegashi, you are doing SAR. But I never said it would just be landside."

Taichi understood. At some point he would be riding in the Chinooks.

"Wow, thank you sir!"

"Please don't thank me."

"Why not, sir?"

"Because by the time this is over.."

His face grew hard.

".. you won't be so grateful."

The Monday late-morning sun was shinning brightly as Iori, Inaba, Yui, Aoki, and Anzu disembarked from the train at the Mosaic Center Station. Yui was walking away from the train on her arm canes, with Aoki holding her arm for balance. She insisted on going on foot for the remaining 6 blocks to Yamaboshi Academy. Anzu pushed along the wheel chair behind her as backup.

Earlier that morning, Iori had told them that her mother, Reika Nagase, had happened to run into their former teacher, Mr. Gotou, at the supermarket the previous day. Her mother had told the teacher that his former pupils were all together having a pleasant retreat up at a hilly estate outside Yamaboshi. She gave him Iori's cell number. And so Mr. Gotou had called Iori to invite the five ex-club members to have lunch with him at the school cafeteria at noon. Iori quickly accepted the invitation on behalf of the rest of them (except for Taichi, who was at work). She said they would be delighted to come visit him at the school for a nice lunch chat.

As they were walking to the train station near the estate, she explained that Mr. Gotou had expressed his surprise over the phone at hearing about Inaba and Taichi's wedding. She said he sounded a little hurt that he wasn't invited to attend. Other than that, he said he'd very much look forward to chatting with them over lunch to learn how they are all doing now as young adults out of college.

Because Yui insisted on walking the whole way, the group allocated an extra hour to get to the school by lunchtime. Shortly after leaving the Mosaic Center Station, Yui tripped and fell on the sidewalk. Aoki caught her, but she said her ankle hurt. Anzu remarked that it seemed okay to her, but Yui decided it was best to complete the journey in the wheelchair.

Aoki pushed her quickly along. Because of the wheelchair they were reaching the school much faster than originally anticipated.

Iori checked the time. "Hmm, we're going to be at least 45 minutes early at this rate. He has a fourth period class so we'll have to cool our heels somewhere."

Inaba put her hands on her hips. "Then we have some time to kill. What should we do?"

Iori asked, "Shopping?"

Aoki muttered, "Women.."

Then Yui looked up at the Mosaic Center Ferris Wheel that was standing right in front of them. She pointed. "How about we ride that?"

Aoki looked up at where she was pointing. "Hey, that's a great idea!"

Iori said, "You know, I've never ridden that pink Ferris wheel."

Inaba said, "Me neither. I've walked past this thing hundreds of times on the way to school. Did any of you?"

There were no nods.

Yui wondered, "Hmm. Isn't that kind of strange?"

Aoki explained, "Not really. It's a boring ride. Look how slow it goes. With unloading and loading all 38 cars it takes about a half hour to do the ride's two rotations. What a yawner. No wonder we never rode it."

Iori slapped her head. "Doh!"

Inaba asked, "What?"

"I just realized that it's a totally perfect makeout spot! C'mon, think about it: Get on board with your boyfriend and you can totally make out for 30 minutes in absolute privacy with nobody to see you. Dang it, why didn't I think of that before?"

Inaba crossed her arms. "Feh."

Then Iori decided to tease her. "It's too bad Taichi isn't here with us." She nudged Inaba's hip. "I can just imagine you two going on a ride together. I bet the cab would start rocking back and forth."

Inaba gave her a scowl. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

Then Inaba sighed. "Okay, yeah, let's ride it. It's a good way as any to kill some time as anything else. Maybe the view up there is nice. Let's go."

Iori jumped. "Yahoo!"

Anzu pushed Yui up the ramp. She said, "Each car holds four people. You can take Yui and I'll wait down here."

Meanwhile Iori returned with with the four purchased tickets in hand. As Inaba and Aoki were busy helping Yui stand up, Iori approached the ride attendant with the tickets. Inaba did not see Iori whispering to the attendant, nor did she see his quick palming of the cash she gave him.

The next pink cab slowly rotated into the loading zone and stopped. The attendant opened the door and motioned them inside. Inaba offered to let Yui go in first, but Anzu said it would be better if someone else went in ahead to help her climb inside. Iori volunteered and entered the cab first.

Then Yui winced and collapsed back into the wheelchair again. "I'm sorry. My ankle's too sore. You'll have to ride without me."

Inaba asked, "Aoki, why can't you carry her inside? It's only a few feet."

Aoki spoke up. "No, I'll stay here with her." He looked at Inaba. "You go on ahead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I want to stay with Yui."

Inaba said, "Okay."

She turned to enter the cab. She saw Iori waiting inside alone.

A tiny alarm bell started ringing in Inaba's head. "Hey, wait a sec.."

And then Aoki shoved Inaba inside.

Before Inaba could react the attendant shut the door and latched it. He pushed a button and the ride started to move.

Meanwhile Inaba was beating her fists on the inside of the cab. "Hey! Let me out!"

Iori leaned forward from her seat and gently motioned her to sit down. "Dereban, we need to talk."

Inaba ignored her and kept beating on the window. "Let me out of here, dammit!"

"Give it up. The glass is at least 15 millimeters thick. I checked. It's soundproof and unbreakable. Please sit."

Meanwhile the ride continued to slowly ascend.

Inaba whirled around. "You rotten sneak! I knew you were plotting something! You bitch!"

"Please, sit."

Inaba lunged at her and grabbed her neck. "Make this ride stop. Now."

Iori was calm. "Or else what? You'll wring my neck off? Go ahead, I don't care."

Inaba's eyes were ablaze with anger. She tightened her grip.

Iori's own eyes grew wide.

Inaba realized what was she was doing and let her go. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

Iori coughed. "It's nothing, I'm fine."

"Oh, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to get so mad."

What is wrong with me? Am I that messed up?

Iori shrugged it off. "Forget about it. Now, will you just please sit down?"

Inaba sat down across from her. "I'm really sorry. Okay, I'm listening."

"Good girl. Look, Dereban, you have a serious problem. One that you aren't aware of. We need to talk about it."

Inaba sighed, "That I have anger management issues?"

Iori touched her sore neck. "Yeah you do, but you already knew that. That's not what I'm talking about."

"Is this about Heartseed?"

"Wrong again. This predates whatever is going on with you and those creatures right now."

Inaba gave up guessing. "Then what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about something else. Something you don't know. It goes way back, all the way back to when we first met. Perhaps even earlier. It's something you've probably had your whole life."

Inaba waited.

"Inaban, you have a problem. A big one. You need to understand it."

"Which is?"

"You've been having these fights with Taichi for what, seven years now? It's a cycle that goes round and round and round. At the beginning of each cycle you two start off totally lovey-dovey, and it stays that way for weeks, sometimes months. But then eventually, slowly, you get all grumpy and pissy."

"Tell me about it."

"But Dereban, why is that?"

Inaba leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She tried to think.

She kept her eyes closed as she spoke. "I honestly don't know. I guess his constant nicey-niceyness just, well, pisses me off sometimes. So when I'm unhappy he tries to help me and make me feel better. He's always trying to help everybody, you know that.

"But I don't want his help. So he keeps gently pestering me about why I'm unhappy, asking what he can do to make me feel better. It's because he wants fix everything. He wants to fix the world. So he keeps bugging me, asking me over and over what he could do to make me feel happy again. He tells me that he loves me unconditionally and that everything is okay. He always does that, even when I yell at him and throw things at him and call him by every name in the book. And he never fights back. Ever."

She added, "And that jerk never listens to me."

"How so?"

"Well, you know how he'd give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it? He has actually done something like that before. It happened last year, when I gave him this nice winter jacket as a Christmas gift. It was pretty expensive. Then one day, while going back to his dorm from his evening classes, he walks under a bridge and sees this homeless wino sitting there. So he gives him his coat and walks the rest of the way to his dorm without it. It was raining so he got soaked, and the temperature dropped below freezing by the time he got back. He caught pneumonia. It was bad. He ended up in the hospital because of it."

Iori sighed, "Yeah, that sounds like Taichi all right."

"I think it nearly killed him. He got the doctors to hush it up so I'm not sure."

"And then?"

"And then a week later Taichi sees the same old wino under the bridge again. He asks the old guy why he wasn't wearing the nice winter jacket that he gave him. The wino yelled that he sold it for more booze. Then he asked for money. And that stupid idiot husband of mine actually gave him some! Argh!"

"So you think that's why you get pissed off at him so often? His over-generosity?"

"It think that's part of it. But I know it's mostly me. For whatever reason, I get more and more upset. He keeps trying to reassure me, and I just get madder and madder at him because of it. The tension builds and builds, over days, and finally I pop off at him and walk out."

"So you think that is the problem? That he is patronizing you?"

"I said I don't know! I guess it's the fact that Mr. Goody Perfect doesn't understand what it's like when I feel like crap. He is always so damn cheery all the time, rain or shine. It just makes me want to punch him."

"So you blame Taichi."

"No, no, no. I told you. I know it's not his fault. I shouldn't be blaming him. It's me."

"And you're right. Your mood swings are not his fault. It's you."

Inaba made a frown. "What, you think I have PMS or something?"

Iori smiled. "Good guess, but no. The mood swings don't follow your menstrual cycle."

"So what is it then? Why do I have these huge mood swings all the time?"

And so Iori told her.

"Inaban, you are showing all the signs of manic-depression."

Inaba blinked her eyes at her.

"I think you have a clinical case of bipolar disorder. You are manic-depressive."

"Oh c'mon."

"I suspect you always had it, even as a child. Think about it. Your mood always swings wildly. It goes from upbeat to depressed and back to upbeat again. Round and round you go."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it? You said it yourself. You said you have no idea why you feel like crap sometimes. It happens slowly as you sink down into depression. Eventually you feel so depressed that you run away from him. You stay in bed somewhere moping, sometimes for a week. Am I right?"

Inaba was silent.

"Thought so. Then eventually your mood improves. It gets better, and quickly too. You feel really happy again, and so you reconcile with Taichi. And you get so excited and so full of energy that your libido goes into overdrive. That's when you jump him like a tiger. Then a few weeks or a month later you get mopey again. And so it goes, over and over."

"But Iori, don't manics go wack-o, raving and running in circles and stuff?"

"Many do. But in your case you don't go bonkers like some do. You remain functional."

"You mean I don't start babbling incoherently and not sleep for a week."

"Exactly. When you are in your 'high' state you are actually incredibly productive. I've seen you in that state. You can type 200 words per minute on a keyboard."

Inaba reflected on her past. Iori was right. Whenever she was in her 'high' state her mind worked blazingly fast. She could bang out a thousand of lines of JavaScript or PHP code on her computer in one sitting and it would compile and run bug-free the first time. Her productivity was astonishing.

But when she was in her low state? She couldn't even get out of bed.

Iori went on. "Your cycles tend to be erratic. They go sometimes for a few days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. I suspect external factors contribute."

Inaba remembered when Heartseed inflicted the 'Unleashed Desires' phenomenon on the members of the StuCS early in their freshman year. She practically tried to rape poor Taichi in the clubroom because of it**. Then she felt mortified and fled. After that she fell into a deep depression. She still came to class, but she talked to no one and went straight home afterwards. She avoided the other club members. At home she stayed in her room and avoided all contact with anyone, including her parents and her brother.

Her depression went on for a full week. Heartseed even visited her and called her on the carpet for hiding in her room all the time. While standing in her bedroom lecturing her, Heartseed had glanced at her PC, which she never turned off. "Were you surfing the web? Back in middle school that was all you ever did. You spent all your time outside class alone. You were socially active enough that you had no problems at school. But you had no friends."

She remembered that Heartseed then made a small smile. "You are a fascinating person, Inaba. Judging from your current state of mind, if your little group of close-knit friends falls apart, then you'll try to destroy the world, won't you? At least that's what I was hoping would happen. Or maybe not." ***

She shook her head at the memory of that conversation.

Did Heartseed really mean that? Did he really think that I would try to destroy the world if our group was threatened?

She remembered that eventually her mood improved. A few days later she returned to the StuCS clubroom again of her own accord.

Iori looked at her sadly. "Dereban, you need to get some help. Professional help."

Inaba frowned. "Wait, are you are saying that I'm mentally-ill or something? That I'm crazy?"

"No, you're not crazy. At least I don't think you are."

Inaba crossed her arms. "I don't think others will be so understanding."

"It doesn't matter what other people think. You need to see a doctor. You need to see a psychiatrist."

Inaba became agitated. "I'm not crazy!"

Iori raised her hands. "Relax, honey. I know you're not crazy. Bipolar disorder is just a side effect of your high IQ. It's quite common with geniuses and creative artists. Lots of really famous people have it, and they are at their most creative and productive in their up cycles: Vincent van Gogh, Virgina Woolf, Georg Cantor, Kurt Cobain, Stephen Fry, Ernest Hemingway, Vivian Leigh, Marilyn Monroe, Jackson Pollack."

"That's quite a list."

"Yeah. And they are all really smart and creative people. People like you. See? You're in good company."

Inaba was shaking her head. "I can't believe I missed this.."

Iori continued to reassure her. "It's okay. Just knowing you have it will really help you. Previously when you got really depressed, you just wallowed in self-pity and crashed in bed for a week. And the fact you didn't know why made you even more depressed, creating a negative feedback loop. But now that you know, you can fight it. You can tell yourself 'Hey, this is no big deal. I just happen to be in my down cycle right now. I know I will snap out of it and get better soon.' You see?"

"Okay, fine. Thanks. But what do I do about it?"

"Inaban, you need to see a psychiatrist to get properly diagnosed. There are lots of effective drug treatments for bipolar disorder: lithium, lamictal, symbyax, and others. It depends on which brain chemical is out of whack in your head. It might be serotonin, it might be dopamine, it might be something else. You might be prescribed a mood stabilizer like lithium, or maybe only be given an anti-depressant. The doctor will know."

Inaba remained quiet. She knew that her pregnancy would preclude taking any of those medications. Her bipolar disorder would have to remain untreated for now.

"Iori, I can't be publicly diagnosed as being mentally ill. It would shame my family. My father especially."

It was because mental illness was still considered a major taboo in Japan. Having it was was deemed a major moral defect, a failure of one's person. In Japan it brought great dishonor on one's family. Mentally ill people were shunned and ostracized in Japanese society, and Inaba knew that no one who was diagnosed with a mental illness would ever be allowed to hold a position with any sort of responsibility or authority.

Inaba leaned forward. "Iori, we can't tell anyone about this. Especially not my father."

"Why not?"

"It would dishonor him and my family. I could never be his successor if this got out."

"You think so?"

"Definitely. He's very traditional." She looked down. "I love my father; I could never hurt him. I can't shame him like this."

Iori said simply, "I think you underestimate him."

Inaba looked up. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think he's as traditional as you think he is. At least not in some respects. Your so-called 'traditional' father appointed a woman - a woman! - to run his most successful subsidiary as CEO. And he's grooming you to succeed him yourself, another woman. That is hardly what I would call traditional."

Inaba sighed, "Okay, yeah. Point taken. But otherwise he is as strict and traditional as it gets. He is very strict with his subordinates, and he doesn't tolerate failure or incompetence. He goes to Shinto temple weekly to light incense and give offerings, and he practices Buddhism with Baso. He wears traditional clothing..."

"All true. But you are forgetting one thing."

"Which is?"

"He loves you."

"Huh?"

"Okay, I tell you what. If it bothers you so much, then we'll just keep this a secret between you and me, okay?"

"Sure. I know you're good at keeping secrets."

Inaba then thought about her conversation with Taichi in bed the previous night. "But wait, you already told Taichi, didn't you.."

Iori looked at her sheepishly. "Oh, uh, yeah. I think I did. Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Sorry."

Inaba was getting upset. "Why did you do that? Why did you tell him? It wasn't necessary. I could have just taken the meds and everything would have been fine!"

Iori became uncomfortable. "Well, uh, I dunno.. He looked so pitiful.."

"Well, I guess I'll have to trust him to keep his big mouth shut too then."

"I'm sure he will."

"Still, my father can't find out."

Iori shook her head. "I really wish you'd trust him."

"Why?"

"Because you'll need your father to get the help you need. Do you know how incredibly hard it is to see a psychiatrist in this country? It's practically impossible. Like you said, it's a taboo subject. Almost nobody enters the field of psychiatry in college in Japan. We have one of he highest suicide rates in the world and one of the lowest per-capita rates for licensed psychiatrists: about one per 13,000 individuals. It can take a year or more just for the initial appointment! Heck, there are more sex-therapists than psychiatrists in this country! So you'll need your father's clout to grease things so you can get in to see one."

Inaba frowned. "Wait, how do you know so much about psychiatry in Japan?"

Iori put her hand on the back of her head. "Uh, well, uhm, I kinda looked into it once.. for a friend.."

Inaba tsk-tsked. "Right."

Iori remained silent.

So. Iori has her own mental hangups too. I need to figure out why she's so hellbent on slowly killing herself. Iori, the next time the tables will be turned. It will be me locking you into a room and forcing you to listen.

Inaba decided not to broach that subject for now. "Iori, thank you. Just having the diagnosis really helps."

Iori look at her sympathetically. "It does. Trust me. Knowing is half the battle."

Inaba said tearfully, "Iori, thanks.."

"It's okay. We're friends for life, remember?"

"Yeah. You're such a wonderful friend. What would I do without you? Thank you. Thank you so much."

Iori stood up. "You need a big hug."

Inaba stood as well. "Thank you for everything." They embraced.

And the ride ended and the door opened.

Aoki poked his head in to the cab. He said brightly, "Welcome back! Did you two ladies have a nice little ride?"

And then Inaba turned and punched him smartly right on the nose.

It was early evening. Taichi had not yet returned from work. Inaba was upstairs taking a shower in the master bedroom. She was thinking about everything Iori had told her. She still felt mopey and tired, but now she realized it was merely her down cycle. She refused to let it drag her down.

Inaba got out of the shower and toweled her hair. She continued to think.

Iori, thank you for telling me.

She kicked herself for not realizing it sooner. It was so obvious in hindsight. Years and years of strife and conflict with Taichi could have been avoided, if only she knew.

She sighed as she wrapped the towel around her head.

Then she looked at herself sadly in the mirror.

It was because she knew that she would not need to see a psychiatrist.

Too bad it's all moot..

Inaba clutched her stomach. Then she sighed and looked up at the ceiling in despair.

.. because in the end, it won't matter.

Iori walked in. "Hey Inaban, I was wondering if you and I might want to.."

Inaba quickly withdrew her hands from her midsection. She had forgotten to shut the bedroom door.

Iori stopped and stared at her friend.

Inaba whirled and said, "W-what do you want? Don't go barging in to my bedroom without knocking!"

But it was too late. Iori had seen her hands and face reflected in the mirror.

Iori continued to stare.

She said softly, "Inaban.."

No! No! No!

".. are you pregnant?"

A/N:

* See Episode 13.

** See Episode 6.

*** See Episode 9.