It was 3:00 a.m., and Mello sat on his bed, the room's lights on, papers and a book spread in front of him. It was too late to truly study, but Mello was used to it- he had done so in Wammy's for days and nights on end in his quest to be number one. This study session was nothing compared to the cram sessions at the orphanage/private school that was the only life Mello had known. Mello sighed now as he remembered that the only class he could barely one-up Near in had been gym, and he even had to train late for that class to excel in.

It didn't matter now. That had been his past- the only reason why he was revisiting it was because he had overlooked something that could affect his future.

As much as he didn't want to, he had to hand it to Near- if it hadn't been for him, he wouldn't have realized what he had missed, no, who he had missed. He was looking at the one thing he had sworn never to look at when he left Wammy's- the yearbook that had been issued every year, as far back as Mello could remember.

What had forced Mello to look at the item that caused such nostalgia? He had just realized the thing that he felt that he should've known the whole time. And that thing was…

Death hadn't only been offered to come live at Wammy's House-she had been at Wammy's House. Near knew of her, so she must have known him; she seemed to know more about the Wammy House system than she should; he had seen renewed recognizing in her eyes when she had met Matt and Amy and most of all…she had recognized him that night in the alley.

But that had been recent proof, something that only verified the reason why a younger her was seen in the yearbook, why he was in possession of a letter that came from B, the girl who had come to Wammy's and had known Beyond Birthday- which could only mean that it had come from the girl who was asleep in the room next to his, her black hair partially covering her white face, barely shielding her closed cobalt eyes as her small hands clenched her blankets, her body curled into a ball as she dreamed about…what? Her past? Her brother? Her guardian? Mello spared a moment from his study to think on that subject, but he quickly shook himself out of it, trying to convince himself that he didn't care.

He closed his eyes for a second, wondering why he was even wasting energy that could be used on the Kira case studying a girl's past. She didn't truly matter to him, or did she? He still had yet to fathom why he had even saved her from getting raped and killed by that gang. He hadn't even known her- or had he?

Mello growled at himself as he tried to remember her…but he couldn't. His hands relaxed from the fists they had been in as he just let failure become sleep- something that he hated to do, because he felt that by doing so it proved him to be not good enough.

"Nothing I do is good enough for you, huh, M?I don't care- at least I have a future outside of being jealous."

The clock read 7:00 as Mello's eyes snapped open and he bolted up in bed, breathing hard as he remembered who had said that to him.

Emily or Death; but back then, she was B. Her face had been so blank, her eyes had been so empty, her white lips had barely moved as she whispered the words that convicted him and accused him so bluntly and so coolly… and then she had been gone, out the door and out of his life before he had truly even tried to know her.

He didn't know why, or he just didn't want to know why, he bolted out of bed and out of his room, already awake and resolved to find Emily.

Emily, at the same time, was twisting the cold water shower knob off, warm tears slipping down her cheeks as she sobbed without a thought, without anything but a slight feeling of humiliation and déjà vu.

"Why? Why? WHY?" She choked out, crying harder as she heard the bathroom door open and slam, curling into a ball as the shower curtain was pulled back and Mello looked down at her, grim shock lacing his expression.

Emily looked up at him, eyes empty and full of tears, lips trembling and bleeding from her biting it so much, but then she averted her gaze by closing her eyes all together. Her eyes flew up as she felt a warm towel being draped on her and Mello picking her up out of the bathtub. He set her down gently on the cold tile floor, turning his gaze away as she rushed to wrap herself properly, her face red from embarrassment that this boy had seen her naked and had…touched her. Shivers flew up her spine as she thought back on the way his hands had nearly caressed her for that brief moment. She shivered again and she knew that this time it was from the cold. Maybe.

He finally met her eyes and their words flew out of their mouths at the same time. "Why are you in here?" came out of Emily's; "What the hell you were doing?" came out of Mello' stared at her almost harshly, pity being the thing to soften the piercing gaze of his. She didn't answer as she stared back, saying instead, "Does it matter? Does it really matter?"

"I guess not, girl." He replied, glancing at her a bit shocked as she growled, despite tears still clinging to her cheeks, "Oh, will you cut that out? I'm not about to be called girl again by you. I hate being called that by you! I hate it! That's all you called me at Wammy's and I hated it!" She bit her lip again as she started crying again.

"I knew it." Mello replied, nearly glaring at her as he continued, "I knew you were at Wammy's."

She shuddered but nodded, whispering, humiliated, "Yes. And I hated it. Even though I was one of the best, I hated it."

"One of the best?"

Emily nodded again and began to whisper her story as she forced herself back to the time she hated…

I arrive on January 15th, 2003, my black wavy hair cut in bob and my heart empty. They took my Beyond away…I still can't grasp it as I stand with my luggage at the foot of the stairs that leads up to my room and the other children's' room. I sigh as I start lugging my suitcase up the staircase and I'm surprised when someone actually helped me get it to my new room. I know that I'm going to hate it here.

This is proven at lunch, when I sit at a table alone and then I'm surrounded by people who are as smart-and in sometimes, a bit smarter than- me. And everybody's fascinated with my story about Beyond. It's then I realize that I'm popular here as the other girls sigh in admiration- and envy- at my looks and the boys actually give me second looks… except for the blond guy- Mello- who I first mistaken as a girl when I caught him from behind. And I admire him for not making a fuss over me- I know I don't deserve it. And …

He fascinates me as the days pass and I watch him excel in sports by winning every athletic competition, in music as he brings the screams of girls when he played in his band at the school dances, in school as he masters everything thrown at him and socially as he seems to be surrounded by admiration. His attitude in general draws me to want to become like him, to be on the same level as him, to rival him and perhaps surpass him. That was why I joined a band that was as popular as his at the dances, as well as drama, dance, art, sports…anything to give me that edge over him. I didn't find that edge as I saw him push himself to become better than Near, the white haired boy whom my roommate, Jenna, likes. Jenna became my best friend because we shared the same goal- to become worthy of these two boys.

The year passed, and then I finally heard about Beyond's death. I left because of it. But not before I had my first- and only- talk with Mello.

I met him in the hallway on my way out, his expression reminding me of when I had embarrassed myself at the library in front of him by causing a book avalanche- that expression read clearly that he didn't give a damn.

"Um…Hi, I'm B."

"…"

"Um, yeah…I heard that you wanted to know more about BB, so I got everything I could think of that could help."

"…"

"I also hope, um, that you would take this letter."

"…"

I blew out my bangs as I said next, "I just want to say that I admire your determination and your intelligence."

He chuckled at this, finally saying., "If you're trying to sweet talk me, forget it."

"I'm not. I'm saying goodbye."

His eyes widened but then that look of carelessness returns and I feel tears in my eyes as I push pass him and hiss, "Nothing I do is good enough for you, huh, M?I don't care- at least I have a future outside of being jealous."

And then I ran away, out of Wammy's and away from him forever, hoping that I never saw him again as I feel like a hole is being punched into my chest and my heart is taken away.

The same exact feeling that Emily had now as she bursted out of the bathroom, running to her room, head bent down to her chest and hiding her tears, feeling humiliated for no good reason, remembering now why she had been crying in the shower…

She had cried in the bathroom her first night at Wammy's, door locked and staying locked until 6:00 the next morning.