Emily sat silently next to the bed, swinging her legs idly as she stared out the window, glancing every few seconds at Mello, who slept soundly now, bandages wrapped around his wounds, including the scar on his face. She sighed, a bit sadly, a bit relieved, a bit….wistfully as she gazed at him, smiling and thinking, for the millionth time that day, of how calm and how attractive Mello looked when he slept. Granted, she thought as she snickered a little, his mouth is closed when he sleeps…no bossing around… She smiled a bit more as she reached over and gently moved some hair out of Mello's face, happy to listen to his even breathing, happy to know that he was alive, that he hadn't died at the hands of the flames.

She felt her heartbeats speed up a bit as she closed her eyes and remembered how he had saved her, how he had collapsed practically in her arms…how she had fell fully into love at that moment when she had seen his scar for the first time, when she had realized that she had had the feelings all along, that her eyes had needed to be opened the way they did to know the inevitable.

She loved him- too much, in her logical opinion, and yet not enough, in her illogical/in love opinion. She loved him and yet she knew that it wasn't enough to change anything, not even his mind, let alone his feelings- she'd only get hurt more. He'd hurt her more, hurt her worse than before, just because of this affection for him. And she was willing to take that pain- she couldn't deny her own thoughts, thoughts such as I more than deserve whatever pain is coming to me. I hope it hurts bad…I hope I suffer…after all, he saved me…and I fell in love like a fool…and yet, unlike a fool, who resists things, I'm accepting it…like a wise, logical person…something I'm not anymore.

She sighed as the speed of her swinging legs increased, closing her eyes and feeling stupid as Matt walked in, his thumbs dancing across the handheld video game as he entered, looking up for a moment, mouth ready to say "My shift to watch him now, I guess" but as he looked at her face, his words quickly changed to "Why are you crying?" "Oh….!" Emily mumbled, surprised as she realized that indeed, there were tears descending down her cheeks and falling on the blue denim of her skinny jeans, wondering why she was crying as well as she mumbled, " Why, indeed…"

Matt raised an eyebrow, but he sat next to her anyways, maybe because that was the only available seat in the room. The next awkward moments were filled with silence, the exception being the 'pings' of Matt's game. Emily had nearly dozed off, her eyes closing steadily, before Matt coughed and mumbled, "I have a question." Emily looked over at him, unable to read his eyes through the orange tinted goggles as she asked softly, "What is it, Matt?"

"You care about me and Amy." Emily raised an eyebrow, wondering when the definition of question had changed into the definition of statement, but she answered anyways- "Yes- as friends. As dear, special friends…I guess that's the best way to put it…"

"And Mello?" Matt was staring at her now, his game paused as he waited for an answer. Emily hoped that she wasn't blushing at all as she asked calmly, "What about him?"

"What do you think about him?"

Emily's cheeks were red now, but she ignored it as she replied, "Mello is….Mello believes me and in me, I think…He watches over me. He protects and understands me. He can be kind …for a mafia leader. I feel so…I don't know…happy? Relieved? Lucky? In love? I don't know…but I feel something when he's around…but it's probably only me who feels like that, when it comes to our relationship…"

"You sure?"

"Yup- absolutely."

She thought she heard Matt mumble to himself "They are so blind…it's more in Mello's case though…huh."As he shook his head, going back to his game. Emily grimaced a bit, shrugged to herself and got up, deciding that it was about time to change Mello's bandages as she walked out of the room, going into the kitchen to grab not only more bandages, but also some hot water, a washcloth and a water bottle. When she returned, it seemed that Matt was too into his game to help at the moment so she let him be, carefully sitting Mello sit up as she undid the old bandages, trying not to blush as she surveyed his chest, noticing again how muscular Mello actually was, wishing that she didn't gawk in amazement every time she saw him like that. Ugh…I go to help him with something like this…and instead, I'm gaping at his muscles, not his wounds…pathetic… She sighed, smiling softly as she got to work, carefully rewrapping every wound, saving his face scar for last. As she slowly finished her task, she glanced at Matt, and seeing that Matt wasn't looking, she gently moved some of Mello's bangs, leaned down and kissed his forehead, knowing that since he wasn't awake, she could do as she pleased.

"I saw that."

Emily automatically straightened up and backed away from the bed as she turned to look at him, surprised and a bit embarrassed. She smiled a bit sheepishly as she turned towards him, not knowing what to say in her defense, but she was at a loss of words as Matt paused his game again, looking up at her. He then shook his head, looking down at his game before muttering, "Why do you love him, Em? He's never showed you any of his real feelings…"

Emily took a deep breath before countering Matt's statement with, "He's never showed you any of his real feelings, either, so…I don't see why that would affect my feelings for him, either way…but to answer your question…." She sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples for a second before looking at him and stating clearly, "…I don't know. It's like…I can't NOT love him. It's as if I was made to love him…Despite everything, I just can't stop loving him…as cheesy as it sounds…"

She glanced at him and asked, a bit curious, "Why are you so chatty?"

Matt looked up and gave a half smile as he glanced over at Mello, still asleep on his bed, as he mumbled, "I just wanted to know…just in case anything went weird between you two…I don't want to be the awkward idiot who is clueless about what is going on with relationships…I feel like I'm going to be the third wheel anyways…"

That 'third wheel' statement caught her off guard as she looked back at him from the doorway, on her way to start dinner for the two of them, as it was unlikely, in her opinion, that Mello would wake up anytime soon…

She tilted her head, the questions in her mind being displayed in her eyes. "Do you know something I don't, Matt?"

"Not at all- can you fix dinner soon? I'm hungry…"

Emily smiled, shaking her head as she murmured, "Sure, why not?" as she exited the room, walking down the hall to the kitchen of the tiny apartment she shared, hoping that she didn't find out later that Mello had been awake the whole time…because she knew that Mello wouldn't let her live it down if he had heard…

Not that Matt would let her forget what she had said about his best friend either…

"Leave it to me to embarrass myself in front of someone who can tell Mello how I feel without blinking…" She mumbled, letting herself smile as she silently hoped that Mello actually had been awake…so that he'd have been able to hear her say how she felt…and so he could've felt her kiss.

She smiled and shrugged, mumbling, "Oh well…he'll find out, sooner or later…" as she went into the kitchen, simply pulling out a frozen pizza and popping it in the oven as she started to hum the lullaby her mother had sang to her when she was afraid.

The same lullaby she herself sang to Mello the night the hideout went up in flames, as his head had rested on her lap as she sat in the back seat, cradling him and praying.

Praying that he could love her like she loved him…hoping that he did.

A small hope…but a hope, nonetheless…