EPOV
Jasper and I had just ordered pizzas for lunch and we were playing the Xbox when Emmett enters the room and flops his big ass down on the end of our couch looking all dazed yet relaxed.
"What's up with you?" Jasper asked him.
"I think I'm in love." Emmett replied.
There was a strange muffled buzzing sound in the room.
"What's that sound. You guys here that?" I said.
I stood up and followed the sound which was coming from the couch where Emmett was sitting.
"Stand up a second Emmett... I think something's stuck in the couch cushion." I said.
Emmett stands up and the buzzing sound is louder.
"What is that?" Jasper asked.
Emmett puts his hand behind his back and pulls out the source of the buzzing... which is now even louder.
"What the fuck, man?" Jasper said.
"What? It's just a back massager." Emmett replied.
"That's not a back massager. It's a double-ended vibrator!" Jasper replied, as he takes a few steps back.
"Nooo... I thought that too but it says right on it... 'front and back massager'." Emmett said, holding it up to us displaying the small print on it and then holding it out to Jasper to take a closer look.
"Get that thing away from me, and for fucks sake, shut it off!" Jasper yelled.
"Okay, okay... Geez Jasper, calm down." Emmett replied, and flipped a switch to shut it off.
I was just standing there with my cell phone out recording the whole interaction between them and trying not to bust a gut.
"Dude, that's a vibrator, as in dildo, as in sex toy, as in keep that shit away from me." Jasper said to Emmett.
"Really? It was in that garbage bag." Emmett replied, while holding it up to his face to inspect it thoroughly.
Oh no, he's not... Oh yes, he is... Emmett just sniffed it.
Jasper whacked Emmett upside the head and the offending object hit the floor and rolled under the couch.
"Edward, you will be deleting that shit off your phone." Jasper said to me.
"I thought it maybe was a dildo at first but it had those rotating heads on each end and why have two ends... so I saw the writing on it and thought it was just a massager." Emmett said.
I put my phone away as I had enough ammunition for the year on these guys.
"What else was in the bag?" I asked.
"Just some tissues, like a whole box that looked unused but destroyed, a flashlight that still works, a pillowcase, a bunch of blank loose leaf paper, and the massager." Emmett replied.
"You're sick, man." Jasper said to Emmett.
"I can't wait till next week. I hope I see her again." Emmett said, all dreamy-eyed.
"Yeah, can't wait." Jasper said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh shut up, Jasper. I saw you eyeing that little pixie chick that was with my woman." Emmett replied.
"You're woman?" I asked Emmett.
Emmett just smiled.
"There was another chick there. She was cute." Jasper replied.
Only two girls there, huh. Oh well.
"Don't worry, Edward. We'll find you someone." Emmett said, as if he knew what I was thinking.
"I'm just glad to have a job with some cash flow. You guys can drool over some chicks all you want." I replied.
The doorbell rang.
"Pizza's are here." I said, as I went to answer the door.