Wow! 15 chapters already! It's all thanks to all of you readers-thank you so much! I'm soo happy that so many people like the story and have encouraged me to keep writing. So thank you so much!

Have you ever been in love before? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you , then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something stupid one day, like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase as, 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." -Neil Gaiman

Emily sniffled again as she stepped out into the rain, a shopping list crammed into her pocket. It had been two days since Mello had lost his temper with her. Emily swore that her cheek was still red as she fingered it carefully, shuddering slightly as she closed her eyes as she felt a stinging sensation on her cheek ...and in her heart. What had happened to her life? She had promised herself the day that she left Wammy's that she'd take care of herself, that she'd take nothing resembling abuse from anyone. She had also promised herself...that she would never let someone she loved...hurt her...\par

Granted, her self- promise of never being hurt by loved ones had been made the day Beyond saved her from her "parents" but still it applied now. She sighed as she thought about how, for the past two days, she had been practically tiptoeing around the apartment, bored-and scared that Mello may hurt her more- out of her mind. She felt as if she'd suffocate because of the lack of distraction...that is, the lack of personal work. Matt, trying to be polite, made sure that she didn't have to work until she was "recovered", as he called it, and Mello, for some reason unknown to Emily, was always walking the other way, his head downcast, a grimace on his face whenever Emily stepped near him...which meant that he probably wouldn't be giving her any assignments any time soon.

Emily frowned as she wondered if she should've taken Near up on his offer when he had suggested, a month before she had re-met Mello, that she come to New York and work on the case with him, therefore joining the SPK. She blew out her bangs and grimaced at herself for thinking of such a "treasonous" thought in her given situation. But... the thought of leaving her boredom- and unfortunately/ultimately, Mello- behind, as well as her memories of the past few months was...tempting. Emily shook her head in dismay, but she had to admit...the thought was tantalizing...\par

After all, not only she'd be able to control her life again by earning her own money and by living by herself, but also she'd get to do something useful for the world. She'd also have the chance to dis-attach herself from Mello. Her heart gave a squeeze that could only be described as sorrow when she thought of leaving Mello behind, but it would be for the best. She felt as if all she did was hurt Mello- she thought about what he had said that day and she knew that it was mostly true...that she had been at fault for making him fail and get hurt. All her fault...completely her fault...

Emily felt hot tears start to form and she wiped them away, trying to hold back tears as she nodded to herself, knowing what she had to do...

Gathering up her courage, she called Near, and hoping that he couldn't hear how her voice was thick with tears, she said, "Near, is that offer to work with you on the case still good? If it is, I'd like to take it." She half listened to Near as she silently cried, wondering if she'd hurt Mello by making this choice her final decision. She nodded to herself as she got off the phone, wiped her eyes again before she headed back to the apartment, wondering if she was making the right choice as she started packing. Upon finishing, she found herself scribbling a last minute note on a sticky note, which she promptly stuck to the door on her way out, now hailing a taxi that would transport her to the airport so she could rush to catch her flight that left an hour before Matt found her note when he returned from running some errands.

"She WHAT?" Mello shouted into his phone, ignoring the glances from passersby while listening to Matt, cursing to himself under his breath.

"She left! I don't know where exactly where she went- her note only said that she felt that she was no longer of use to our side of the case, so she was leaving to try to find something useful to do..."

Mello cursed again as he guessed where she had gone- New York...to help Near. But for some reason, Mello could easily guess why Emily had truly left- she was trying to get away from him...but why? Mello scowled to himself, rubbing his temples as he now winced at the thought that his slapping her two days before had triggered her departure. "Dammit!" He muttered, knowing that it was too late to apologize for that incident...and therefore, maybe too late to get her back..."Dammit, Emily...Dammit." He mumbled, looking at his feet in regret and agitation, wondering why his heart, something that he had thought was frozen ever since the night he left Wammy's, was aching now whenever he thought of his mistake...and its consequences.

Emily felt the same as she sat and looked out the airplane's window, watching the clouds change orange and then blue as dusk arrived, crying as she watched, hating herself...for ever falling in love with the "wrong boy".

And for loving him still as she lowered her head to her lap, crying and hurting, hoping it would stop.

"I'm sorry, Mello...th-this is for the best...I think...if it's for the best...why am I hurting so bad,Mello? Why?" Emily whispered, biting her lip to quiet her sobs, wondering if someone else was feeling the way she did...