"I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know."

-Anonymous

Emily stood in front of the bathroom mirror of her new apartment as she straightened her hair, wondering if her make-up was flawless and if she'd be able to recognize herself as soon as she finished. Wondering if Mello would recognize her if he saw her now.

Emily blew out her bangs in dismay as she finished, scolding herself for thinking such a thing as she felt a tear rushing down her face and a line of mascara following. "Oh…screw it!" Emily muttered to herself, wiping off all of her makeup before her tears ruined her carefully applied makeup further. Softly crying, she seated herself on the side of the tub, looking at herself in the mirror as she did, ashamed and angry with herself. She wished that she wasn't always thinking about Mello…in all reality, she almost wished that she hadn't left him. No! I needed to leave him…after all, what good would I've done for not only him and the case? No good, that's what. It was good that I left him…Wasn't it? She thought as she rested her chin on her fist, sighing before getting up and starting to get ready again before just giving up on make-up after she put on her mascara and blush: She didn't need much more makeup besides those.

Smoothing out her button up long sleeved blouse and her coal black skirt, Emily looked herself over and sighed. She looked perfect. She nearly felt perfect as well. Perfect…something she had strived for before she had met him. Emily sighed again as she grabbed her laptop bag as she now left the bathroom, headed out to the headquarters Near had set up. She kept thinking…on how everything was finally seeming to go right for her.

She had everything she could have ever wanted. Shelter, food, an interesting job, a familiar face or two…a perfect life. Everything was flawless…except for the gaping hole in her heart, the hole that had been made the day she left L.A., the hole that'd been made when her heart ripped into two before shattering savagely. Emily bit her lip as she realized how much she missed Mello and how much it hurt to think about him without feeling completely treasonous. She felt like she had betrayed him….she felt as if she had went and became a traitor….She sighed and bit her lip harder as she continued to walk, not noticing that she was on the sidewalk now.

She was lost in thought as she bumped into someone, stumbling back surprised as she shook herself out of her head-in-the-clouds moment. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Are you o.k…" She asked, becoming speechless when she realized that she had bumped into a leather wearing stranger, the man's leather pants and his red coat automatically bringing Mello to mind. Emily couldn't stop herself from asking, "Is that you, Mello?" before she covered her mouth with her hand in embarrassment as she now said, "Err…sorry…never mind…" as her face flushed and she ran past the blond haired stranger without a backwards glance, now intent on getting to work before she embarrassed herself further…

Mello watched Emily run past him, relieved that she had thought that he had been a stranger…and surprised by her new appearance. He smirked to himself as he thought about how well she cleaned up and how grown up she looked, finding something alluring in how she still had her personality and yet look much different when she put on nicer clothes and a little makeup here and there. He smirked for a moment longer before he continued to walk, glancing around him as if he was expecting someone to pop out of nowhere …or as if he was expecting to run into Emily again.

He scowled at himself, wondering why- and almost hating how- his mind had been almost completely devoted to finding Emily for the past week. He had tried to tell himself that she didn't matter, that she had only been in his way…but he couldn't anymore. He couldn't deny the fact that he felt attracted to her on so many levels…but he didn't want to accept the potential fact that it was as if he couldn't breathe without Emily nearby, let alone live and catch Kira without her.

Mello growled at himself when he finally understood what his feelings were towards Emily…and of what Emily's feelings towards him were. He tried to push that fact away as he found his way to Halle's apartment, knowing that he had a long night ahead of him….

It was at least 8:30 p.m. as Emily walked out of the shooting range she had been patronizing for the past hour, wondering when she had taken up shooting bullets and rounds as a way to blow off steam. It was then did she realize that it was because Mello probably would do the same thing. She winced slightly before shrugging and heading home, shoving her hands in her pockets and practically running because she knew that if she got attacked by a gang now…Mello wouldn't be there to save her.

She now unlocked her apartment, stepping into the security of it as she dropped her laptop bag near the door, dumping her coat on the hook as well. Emily kicked her shoes off before deciding to take a shower, grabbing a camisole and pajama pants on her way there. Stepping into the warm spray of water, Emily let herself relax as she pushed away any thoughts about Mello, determined to just try to forget him for an evening. She felt as if she didn't deserved another sleepless night that day as she washed her body thoroughly, taking more time and hot water than usual.

Pulling on her makeshift sleepwear, Emily grabbed her hairbrush and walked into her living room, turning on the t.v and picking a channel to watch as she started to brush her hair carefully, marveling at how long it had gotten- it fell to the small of her back now. She sighed sadly now, unable to keep Mello off her mind. The tears were just beginning to slip down her face when she heard the first knock at the door.

Cocking an eyebrow, Emily got up, putting her brush on the coffee table and pulling a blanket around her shoulders,shivering as she got up, calling to the person at the door, "I'm coming. Hold on!"

She carefully navigated her way through her dark apartment, turning on lights as she went. Finally reaching the door, she reached for the doorknob, hesitated, and then twisted and pulled the door open...

Mello raised his hand to knock on the door again, wondering if he had the correct address. He had gotten the location of Emily's apartment from Halle after retrieving his photo from Near, a photo that was rumored to have been owned by Emily. He started to knock again as the door opened, and Emily stood before him, dressed in a camisole and flannel pants, clutching a blanket around her as she shivered slightly, her hair a mass of messy curls as she stared, surprised, at him. Slowly, she reached and touched his face, as if she was checking to see if he was real, while she whispered, "M-mello? Is that really you?"

Mello smirked softly at her, liking how her hand was soft and gentle on his face as he muttered, "What do you think?" He saw Emily's cheeks flush as she mumbled, " What are you doing here? Where's Matt? Is he ok? Is everything alright? Why...are you here?" He smiled cheekily as he remained silent, watching her cheeks redden even more as she whispered, "You're here...to see me...aren't you? It's either that or...you need me to do something for you..." She trailed off as she pulled her hand away so she could take the picture he now offered to her as he said, "I believe this is yours..." Emily glanced over the photo, recognizing it to be the picture of Mello when he was at Wammy's. She looked up him, surprised as she stuttered out, "W-why?" before he smirked at her again, wrapping his arms around her waist and lowering his face to her's as he muttered,
"And I believe you're mine." as he kissed her, his passion and lust mixing and adding fire to the kiss, making him realize just how much he really had needed her, how much he had missed her...and how much he wanted her for himself.

Emily didn't try to resist him- quite the opposite as she moaned softly, pulling him closer by his coat's collar, letting her blanket fall to the floor as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him harder, parting her lips as he gently traced her lips with his tongue. Mello walked her backwards, into the apartment and against a wall, kicking the door shut with his foot as he did, holding a knot of her hair at the nape of her neck, pushing himself closer to her, as close as he could without removing her clothes or taking her virginity. (Which, he probably wanted to take, but, this being rated T, I'll refrain from that for now...) She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close, wondering what so influenced her to wrap one of her legs around his waist as he lifted her by her thighs, both of them still kissing furiously. Emily twined her fingers in Mello's hair, holding onto Mello tight as he carried her to the couch, plopping her there and leaning over her, smirking even more before he started to kiss her neck, letting her try to get her breath back.

Emily took several deep breaths as she looked at Mello, whispering to him as he nipped and licked her neck, "Well...I really didn't expect this..." Mello paused and grinned cheekily at her as he glanced up into her eyes, muttering in reply, "I'm only getting started..." "Oh, are you now?" Emily smiled at him, thinking about how that morning she had been missing him and hurting so bad when she thought about him and now...here he was with her...her dream come true. Her thoughts were interrupted as Mello switched her places on the couch, hoisting her over him so that he now laid on his back, she resting on top of him. Her cheeks colored scarlet, but she smiled, her expression mirroring Mello's before she leaned down and kissed him again, pulling away after a moment as she shivered, wondering how he knew just where to touch and kiss to make her want him even more. She smiled as she felt Mello wrap his arms around her, looking him in the eyes as she started to whisper, "Mello, I-" "Shhhh...not now...we'll talk about it in the morning." "But..." "No buts. Go to sleep, Emily."

Emily sighed in defeat as she shook her head, smiling, kissing Mello quickly before she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she whispered anyways, "I missed you...And I'm sorry that I left you...I wasn't thinking..." She looked up at Mello and smiled before quietly yawning and closing her eyes, whispering before she let herself drift off into sleep, "I'll make you a deal...I won't leave you if you don't ever leave me..."

Mello glanced down at Emily and let himself smile, moving some hair out of her face as he muttered, "Deal." even though he knew that she was asleep by now. He then said something that he'd never say to Emily if she was awake, knowing that she would be shocked about it- " He said "I'm sorry for making you want to leave...". He then forced himself to say the words that he himself hadn't wanted to believe until right then as he whispered in Emily's ear, " I...love you."

Mello laid his head back against the arm of the couch, feeling as if everything was alright now, feeling as if he was whole once more, as if Emily was part of him now. He smiled before letting himself fall asleep, holding Emily tight.

Author's note- o.k! I finally updated! :)

If it's sappy in your opinion, I'm sorry, but I was half awake when I wrote the end. As to the kissing part...I credit romance novels to that...I hope I'm not the only one who's looking for tissues to stop their nosebleed because of that part...-/-

I hope you guys enjoyed! :D