Authors Note: Hello all! I am so pleased about how this is going right now! This chapter should definitely please you fan girls out there!

Chapter Five: Spreading the Disease

It seemed like I was in the shower for days not merely minutes. Even now after that event my body still continued to spasm and go into temporary paralysis.

I didn't even know why.

As the water crashed downwards on my body deep inside I still felt dirty, ashamed and guilt ridden.

Gold had violated me, he had taken away a part of me that no one was meant to uncover or ever see.

How could I forgive him for that?

I rested my hands on the wall, trying to steady my trembling legs. I could wash myself a million times with the strongest soap in the entire world and I would still feel used and filthy. Nothing would change that.

I was glad I managed to kick him out of my apartment, but that was just the beginning.

What if I bumped into him again? He needed to be aware of the fact it was never EVER going to happen again, and if he brought it up into conversation then he was on my hit list for life.

'Why did I let it happen? I could've stopped him at any moment if I really wanted to... yet I didn't. Is he right? Am I truly in denial about myself?'

I hated thinking about things, it just made me feel like shit and replayed the events over and over again. About how he had so effortlessly winded me up, saying I enjoyed our kiss at the café and how I had taken the bait. Hook, line and sinker.

I frowned and slammed my hand off the wall, hearing the noise resound off the walls.

The water wouldn't be able to wash away the sin, even if it would offer some form of comfort. It was like an incurable disease that continued to spread throughout my entire body.

Closing my eyes I tried to think of something, any rational thought or explanation to my actions.

I couldn't, and that's what aggravated me. Deep inside I needed to do something about this, I needed to make sure Gold knew where he stood with me. That I wasn't some play thing he could toy and mess around with and then throw away when he eventually got bored.

I was a human being, even if I didn't act like it most of the time.

He needed to know that I was the wrong person the fuck with.

I managed to muster some courage to get out of the shower and dry off. I threw on an old t-shirt and a black hoody, accompanied with black jeans.

Deep inside I decided I would phone him, seeing him face to face would just be awkward and too mentally demanding so through a hand held device would be just fine. As I dried my hair off in a towel I wondered if I should ring his Pokegear or his house phone.

If I rung him at home then his mother might answer and what then? Would I have to explain myself? But, if I rung his Pokegear then it might seem too unofficial and then he might think it was all a big joke again.

Gritting my teeth I put my head in my hands.

Why were the simple things in life getting so difficult? It was just a stupid phone call, what the hell was the big deal about it? Was it that I didn't want to hear his voice because it would remind me of what happened? Was it that he might suggest we talk it over and try to sort it out, again?

Raising my eyes to my bedroom wall I frowned.

Why couldn't I just sort this out? Usually things like this would be so simple to overcome, just kick the shit out of him and leave him to rot in hell, job done.

Only not so fucking simple this time... Gold had gotten right underneath my skin, pressed all my buttons and now I found it almost impossible to be like that around him.

Standing up I tossed the towel onto the bed and decided that now I should make the phone call.

'I'll phone him at home because then it seems more formal and he might take me seriously, for once. If his mother answers then I'll just say I am a friend of Gold's or something. Urghhh... friend... did I really have to fucking do this?'

I left my bedroom, combing my fingers through my wet hair and headed towards my phone, getting ready to ring that stupid idiot and tell him exactly where he stood. I wasn't nobody's bitch and he needed to be aware of that.

"Hello this is Dodgy Deals Limited, how may I be of service?" Was what I received when I rang his house phone.

What the hell did I just hear? Was Gold saying that? Then again it shouldn't have surprised me really.

"Dodgy... deals?" I enquired incredulously, hearing Gold inhale sharply as if he was thinking 'oh shit!'.

"S-Silver?!" He exclaimed and I sighed, wondering why the fuck I was doing this.

"I'm not even going to ask why the fuck you just said that to me..."

"Well... we keep having prank phone calls... so I always wind them up and pretend to be different services. Ummm... sorry,"

I rolled my eyes, trying so hard not to just hang up there and then.

"It really doesn't surprise me..."

"So... why are you calling me?"

He sounded surprised, and he probably was.

I don't remember the last time I actually took time out of my busy social life to phone him. Did you sense the sarcasm there?

"It's about what happened-" I managed, before Gold's loud voice burst through the receiver.

"-look I am so sorry! I never meant... I never... well,"

It was as if he had no idea how to explain himself and he probably didn't. Gold never thought about the consequences of his actions, he would do stuff and think later.

"Yeah..."

"Ummm...yeah..."

Seems this conversation isn't going very well, but did I expect it to?

"So... what's up? You okay?" Gold asked, trying to make small talk and to try to remove the awkward tension that seemed to shroud the conversation.

I inhaled deeply, it was now or never.

"I just called to say you better forget about what happened today, I don't want you to keep bringing it back up or throwing it in my face. It should not have happened, and it DEFINITELY will not happen again! I just wanted you to know that."

There was silence and deep inside I wondered if he was genuinely upset with what I just said, or if he was doing this on purpose.

He would do that, wouldn't he? Or he would just be totally okay with it, like before...

"...you should come over to my place."

My eyes widened as I almost dropped the phone onto the floor.

Did he really just suggest that?!

"W-what?!" I exclaimed, wondering if I had heard that correctly.

I had just told him to forget about what happened and now he invites me round to his house? He can forget it!

"I said you should come over to my place, you know to try to sort things out..."

His voice sounded nicer this time, like he genuinely meant what he was saying, but no I won't let him do this.

"No, I can't. I have things to do...important things," I add on the end to try to kill the conversation.

Of course as expected Gold is better than that, he would totally see through my deception and continue harassing me.

"Like what? Sulk in front of the television until your crappy shift starts at the department store?"

Okay, he got me with that one.

I sighed, combing my fingers through my hair.

"I'm... just busy, okay?"

"You can come over right now," He pursues, making me bite my lip nervously.

I never usually feel like this! I wished I could just be my usual arrogant ass hole self again, but it just seemed to have died since the whole café incident.

"My Mom is here anyway so you haven't to worry about me jumping your bones... again."

He is still trying to get me to come over, but why? I thought I had said everything I needed to, I didn't need to see him again to bring up all the guilt and the shame.

"I... don't know..." I mumbled, feeling so fucking pathetic right now. I hear him sigh on the other end of the phone.

"We need to talk Silver, we can't just pretend that it never happened. You can't just phone me and tell me to forget all about it like it was nothing. This is serious and we need to sort it out."

I frowned.

Yeah, he was right I suppose.

I hated having this dark cloud looming over my head because of how hung up I was over it. I needed closure and if that meant seeing his goofy grin one last time then I was prepared to do that.

"Fine..." I admitted, feeling defeated.

Rubbing my forehead I wondered what the hell he would say next?

Like come over right away or in a few hours?

"Alright, get here whenever you can."

I immediately hung up, not wanting the conversation to go on any longer.

As the silence consumed my living room once again realisation started to sink in.

I actually said I would go to his house! His house is freaking miles away from me!

That means it would take me hours to walk there and I would be exhausted when I finally arrived. Furrowing my brow I wondered if this was all part of a devious plan, so when I arrived I would be too tired to go home and he would offer for me to stay the night, and bingo! I have lost once again.

Shaking my head I decided that to have the upper hand in this argument I needed to think tactics, and also transport.

Who had transport that I could easily steal... I mean borrow, off?

"You want to use my bicycle?!" Crystal practically screamed down the phone as I wondered around the kitchen, trying to juggle cooking and talking at the same time.

"Yes, is it a problem?" I said coldly, hooking the receiver between my shoulder and my ear as I stirred spaghetti in a pan that was cooking nicely.

"No... it's just a shock that's all..."

"And why is that? Because I never ask for anything?" I muttered, hearing the blue haired girl sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Well, yes... and the fact you haven't even told me why you need it!"

"I... just need it, okay?"

I didn't want her knowing details, after all, Crystal was renowned for her ability to gossip about everything and let her mouth run away with her millions of times.

As I stirred the ropes of spaghetti to and fro the conversation continued.

"... have you made up with Gold yet?"

I paused, not knowing how to answer.

Well, yes and no. If having a blow job off your 'supposed' friend is making up then yes we were best buddies now.

"Kinda..."

"...kinda? What the hell is that meant to mean? Is it a yes you have, or a no you haven't?"

I sighed, hating how persistent she could be. She was like a dog with a bone sometimes.

As I scraped the coils of spaghetti into a bowl I decided to just tell her we have made up.

"Yes... okay? We made up."

"Oh that is great news! I know Gold will be happy now you two are friends again! Oh, that reminds me! I need to talk to you about his birthday,"

I rolled my eyes as I walked over to the sofa, bowl of spaghetti with fork in hand.

"Don't get me involved in your stupid plans..."

"Oh Silver! Don't be like that! Gold would definitely want you there at the party, if you wasn't then it wouldn't be the same..."

I sighed, placing the bowl down on the coffee table and using my fork to spear some of the coiled pieces that had stuck together.

"I said I'm not getting involved!" I said defiantly.

"Silveerrrrr!" She whined, making me cringe. "You are so mean sometimes! It's his eighteenth birthday! Give him a break, and just... come to the party! It will be fun!"

As I scooped spaghetti into my mouth I tried to think of some great excuse, something like 'I really can't make it, I have to take my pet Magikarp for a walk'

"...he better not expect a present off me..." I mumbled.

I could practically hear her scream in delight.

"Oh, thank you so much! You are the best!"

Wasn't I mean just a few seconds ago?

"So... about that bicycle..." I tried changing the subject, and besides, the party was ages away yet. There was no point in thinking about it.

She paused, as if trying to remember the past conversation we had

"Oh! Yeah... bicycle! Want me to bring it round?"

"If you wouldn't mind..."

I hated asking favours, but I didn't want to walk to Gold's place. At least if I cycled there it would be quicker and it would give me less time to think about it.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be round as soon as I can!" She beamed down the phone and it did make me want to smile.

Crystal was always renowned to have a heart of gold, I just never saw it most of the time, and she was the sort of person you could easily take for granted.

Now I frowned.

Yeah... I did that all the time.

"Okay..."

I hung up and continued eating my bowl of spaghetti.

At least now I had transport, but even so a part of me was literally screaming not to go. It was way too soon after what happened. That one part of me that I was so conscious about had been unmasked and I couldn't hide anything any more.

Knowing him he was probably sitting at home feeling proud about it, like he had won.

So that was why I just had to go, and prove that he hadn't. If I had downright refused then he would definitely think something was wrong, or he could brag about the fact he sucked me off, like it was some sort of award or something.

Bastard...

Once I had washed up the bowl and my hair had finally dried off I heard knocking at my front door. It must have been Crystal with the bicycle.

Taking a deep breath I decided that it was now or never.

I grabbed my keys off the coffee table and unlocked the door.

There she stood, smiling wildly with blue bicycle in tow. She actually got here quite quickly.

"Hello!" She said happily, waving sheepishly.

It wasn't as if she just disturbed me masturbating or something.

"Hi..." I muttered, sighing under my breath.

Crystal seemed to notice because her smile changed to a frown.

"Is something wrong?"

"No... just tired..." I lied, placing a hand to my head in annoyance.

Now I had no way of getting out of seeing Gold again. The bicycle was here and ready for me to use, there was no point in putting it off.

"You never told me why you needed my bicycle," She cooed, looking at me with large azure eyes.

I folded my arms, trying to get some sort of defence between us.

"... I have to go somewhere..."

"Where?"

"...Out of town."

"Can I come too?"

I blinked at the blue haired girl, trying to think of the reasons to why she just said that.

Since when did Crystal ever want to go anywhere with me?

"W-what?!"

"...can I come too? Or is it a secret errand?"

Well, maybe if Crystal accompanied me part of the way I could fight off my inner thoughts and use her as a barrier against it? Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be so bad.

I looked away.

"I have... to see someone, and... I have to go past your house anyway..."

She clasped her hands together, letting the bicycle fall out of her hands onto the ground with a crash. She winced but didn't pick it up.

"So, does that mean I can come with you?"

I rolled my eyes, hating how I was willingly agreeing to this. Crystal had a tendency to annoy the ever loving crap out of me, but this time I could probably cope.

"Sure, but just this once! Don't get any ideas!" I warned her.

She continued smiling at me, before turning to pick the bicycle up off the ground.

"We could both share the bicycle!"

"What?! No way!" I cursed before thinking.

It was out of habit.

I watched as her face crumpled in sadness and her eyes diverted to the ground.

"But it has stunt pegs on the back... I could stand on them and you could peddle..."

Once again I sighed, how had I become so fucking weak?

"FINE!" I growled angrily. "But I'm cycling and that is final!"

Once again her face transformed from sad to happy within seconds.

How could she turn her emotions on and off like that? It was some form of sorcery I was sure of it.

"You're being really nice today Silver, has something happened?"

Yeah, something did happen... but I wouldn't call it anything good to smile about.

"...guess I can't say no to the girl who actually lent me the bicycle in the first place." I lied.

I just needed a way out of this, I actually wanted Crystal to accompany me there. It would stop me having second thoughts and heading off home.

As I stepped out of my apartment and locked my front door deep within I wondered what would await me at Gold's place.

Was I walking into a trap?

Crystal was, as expected, extremely talkative throughout the entire journey. It wasn't so bad, at least it stopped the dreaded silence taking hold of me, causing my mind to over think about things.

"So you see... I don't know what to buy Gold for his birthday. I thought about clothes, but he's so picky! So then I wondered if I should buy him everyday stuff like socks, but then I thought no way! His mother would buy him that sort of stuff! Then I wondered if I should get him jewellery or something, you know... something that he would always remember..."

"Crystal I am sure whatever you get him he will like, I mean come on it's Gold. He is easily pleased." I grumbled, trying to stop her waffling on about presents and about Gold.

All she spoke of was him the entire journey, I mean I know they are best friends but come on!

"Yeah! You are so right!" She agreed, her voice sounding incredibly high pitched.

I rolled my eyes as I continued cycling towards my destination, her fingers gripping my shoulders for dear life.

"Besides... he should be fucking grateful he even gets a birthday party," I spat, hating how everyone was making a massive fuss over a stupid birthday.

I never had a fuss when it was my birthday. I just got drunk and tried to forget about the fact I was a year older.

"Silver... that's a bit mean..."

"No it isn't. I never got a party, hell I have NEVER had a party! I have never wanted one... so he should be grateful he is getting one."

For the first time in a long time I actually made Crystal go quiet.

Maybe she felt sorry for me? Not like I needed her sympathy. I was used to it, and I liked it.

"...Silver..."

"I don't need your apology's or anything, I'm not a charity case." I said defiantly.

I wanted her to know that. Birthday's to me were nothing special, so it was strange for anyone to make a fuss.

"I never said you was..." Crystal murmured.

"Anyway... like I said I will turn up at the party, but that is it. Don't expect me to be the life and soul because I won't."

And again there was silence and it continued for a while until I turned into her street.

It was her stop and then I was on my own. I would have to face this problem on my own, I wouldn't have anything to fall back on or anywhere to run to.

"Thanks for letting me come with you!" Crystal beamed as she got off the bicycle and stood at her gate.

I nodded, hating all this credit I kept receiving.

It wasn't like I was a nice person.

"I was going this way anyway..."

"Yes but you could have still turned me down." She pointed out and it was very true.

I could've made her walk back home even after she had been kind enough to lend me her bicycle.

"You'll get your bicycle back tomorrow."

She nodded and smiled.

"It's fine, keep it if you need it. I have a spare anyway!"

I couldn't help but watch her intently, as if she was a test subject in a science experiment.

How was it she could still be nice to me even after everything I had done? I wasn't the nicest person in the world and there had been times I had been really horrible to her. How did she have the courage to keep smiling, and to forgive me?

I looked away, trying to concentrate on my main task, arriving at Gold's house.

"Anyway, I'm sure I'll see you around!" She called after me, waving her hand as I was about to continue onwards to my destination.

"Yeah... bye."

And with that I left, back on track towards my untimely doom.

A part of me dreaded that this was a ploy to lure me out of hiding, out of my comfort zone so he could take advantage again.

Well, that was not going to happen. I was prepared for the worst.

It just felt like guilt and shame was written all over my face, like I was the one who had done something wrong and not the other way around.

Why can't he feel like I do? Why do I have to carry this guilt everywhere?

Maybe I should go in there, beat him to a pulp and leave, not like he doesn't deserve it. Fucking ass hole. He needs to know he can't just do anything he wants with me.

As I rode up to the front gate I inhaled deeply.

Shit... I was here already? I had forgotten how close Crystal's and Gold's houses were...

But I couldn't turn back now, I needed to do this for myself.

As I parked the bicycle up outside the gate I nervously pushed it open, hearing it creak loudly. There was still time, I could still get back on the bicycle and leave, and never consider seeing that jerk again.

But time was slipping away the closer I got to the front door.

It was a simple choice, stay or go.

I lifted my finger and pressed the doorbell, hearing it's annoying sound resonate through the walls of his house. It's too late now.

I bowed my head, not wanting him to be the one to open the door. It would be better if his mother answered to be honest.

But no such luck.

"Hello! I didn't actually expect you would come round..." Gold muttered, and I could feel my body tensing up already.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to invite me in?" I replied coldly, lifting my head to watch the dark haired boy move to the side.

I walked inside his home, studying the floor intently.

It had been years since the last time I had been here, it felt so strange returning to a place that linked to my childhood memories.

Still, I felt awkward being around him now.

Gold knew almost everything about me!

He knew what I liked, he knew how I tasted, he knew... what I sounded like when I got aroused...

"Are you feeling okay? You are looking a little pale, well... paler than usual..." He commented, making me swiftly turn around.

He was looking at me with those amber eyes of his, studying me, taking in every inch of me. I shook my head, desperately trying to get rid of his gaze.

"No... I'm fine..."

"You sure as hell don't look like it to me. I'll get you a glass of water."

I watched as the shorter boy rushed past me into the kitchen.

Since when had Gold become so conscious of my feelings? Usually he was so bull headed he would just do whatever he felt like and think about the consequences later.

"Where's your Mom?" I asked, feeling a little nervous about the fact it only seemed like the two of us were here.

Gold turned the tap off and walked towards me, glass of water in his hand.

"She just popped out for some milk and bread, she will be home soon."

In one swift motion he handed me the glass and I took it, grateful to have an object to steady my trembling hands.

Since when did I get like this?

"You can sit down, you know? You don't have to stand around like an idiot. I invited you here so you are a guest!" Gold gestured with his hand for me to sit down and lamely I did.

It was so awkward sitting down on his sofa, which was a million times more comfortable than my own. I couldn't say I liked the colour scheme though, it was so white and pastel blue that it was making my stomach knot violently.

That must have been what his mother liked.

"So... do you want to start talking about this, or do you want me to start? Do you even want to talk about this...?" Gold murmured, looking away.

Maybe he definitely was ashamed, just like I am?

I studied the carpet once again, keeping the glass firmly in my hands. The liquid inside made my hands to get cold.

"It's just like what I said when I called you... can't we just forget about it? I don't want to keep... remembering it."

I turned to face Gold and watched as he shrugged, like he was completely unaffected by this.

"Say we do forget about this, what then? Would we ever go back to being friends, or would there be a constant reminder of what happened in the back of your mind? Would you ever be able to trust me again, or even want to for that matter?"

I blinked, hating what he just said.

We were not friends! And even if we were... we could never go back to that! Gold knew about my personal space, he knew almost everything about me now and there was no way we could sort this out.

"I don't know... I just don't think we should even think about it any more. I know for a fact we are both ashamed about it, and it was one mistake too many. We should just try to move on, but I doubt we could ever be... 'friends' again."

I watched as his face literally crumpled in front of me, like I had just told him some-one had died.

Seriously, I wasn't that important to him was I?

I took a sip of water and placed the glass down on the coffee table. He clasped his hands together between his legs as he looked up at the ceiling.

"I am so sorry Silver... I acted so stupid. I never seem to think before I do things, I just go ahead and do it and then it's too late. I guess... I expected you to freak out or push me away, or beat me up like usual..."

He chuckled a little, trying to relive some of the built up tension that had shrouded both of us.

I frowned.

I could have stopped it at any time, I was stronger than Gold so I could have thrown him off me and prevented this terrible mistake.

But I didn't...

"We are both to blame..."

"You should attack me! Punch me! Be angry Silver! Why are you just sitting there like a broken china doll?" He literally pleaded to me, eyes sparkling in sadness.

To be honest all that fight inside had wilted away like a dying flower. I just felt defeated, used and abused.

There was no way of redeeming myself.

"I could have stopped you if I really wanted to..." I muttered.

"Yes, but you didn't! And that is my fault! If I had stopped teasing you about that stupid kiss then this would have been avoided..."

Well yes, I could agree with that definitely.

I shook my head, hating how everything is now Gold's fault, when it was both of us. In fact if I hadn't have kissed him back in that café then we wouldn't have needed to sort it out, and then the whole ordeal would have been avoided.

"I kissed you back in the café... that is what started this whole mess off..."

Gold paused for a moment, as if he was trying to re trace his steps over the past few days.

"Oh yeah, you did."

He chuckled, only I was not in the mood for laughing.

My stupid plan got me wrapped up in this soap opera in the first place and now it was too late to go back.

"Let's just agree to disagree on this, we were both fucking idiots and now we should just try to forget about it."

I tried to move this conversation along because the more it was brought up the more images that kept resurfacing in my mind. It really wasn't helping me right now.

Even Gold didn't seem too relieved.

"Silver... I am so truly sorry about what I did. I was meant to be your friend and then... I go and take advantage of you. I guess... I just got so wound up and lost it, but that is no excuse-"

He paused, looking up at the ceiling, trying to think of the right words to say.

"- aside from the whole collapsing act you did afterwards I can honestly say that...I don't regret what happened. Honestly, I was okay with it...but I am still sorry it happened when it shouldn't have, and I am sorry that I have made you feel like this. But...to me it was okay, I wanted to do it Silver..."

I just sat there motionless, not knowing what to say to that.

So hang on, let me back up a little here... Gold just basically admitted that he enjoyed what happened, and he is just sorry because I didn't feel the same way? Does that mean... my plan did work after all, and he was the one who is gay?!

"So...you don't regret attacking me?!" I said, my voice sounding a little dangerous for the first time in a long time.

I watched as the dark haired boy shrugged, eyes not meeting mine.

"No, and I know somewhere deep inside you don't either..."

"W-WHAT?!" I cried out, almost jumping off the sofa and bolting out of the front door.

He was being serious wasn't he? Well... how the fuck was I meant to act when someone is doing that?!

"Like you said... you could have stopped me at any time, you could have kicked the ever loving shit out of me if you wanted to... so why didn't you? Were you too ashamed? Or was it the fact that you secretly liked it, and didn't want me to know?"

His eyes burned into my very soul, opening up my insides.

Now I did feel like a china doll that had been smashed on the ground, never possible to put back together.

"I...NO!" I cried out in defence.

He was wrong! He had to be!

"Just get over yourself will you? It's okay to admit it if you like someone, I know for you it's probably the most difficult thing in the world, but... just try to accept it. There is no point in fighting the inevitable..."

"I do NOT like you!" I blurted out, watching every change of expression on his face.

Gold seemed to get closer within a matter of seconds, which made me back up against the sofa.

I needed distance.

"You are not going to lose anything by admitting it to yourself you know?"

I felt Gold's fingers remove a strand of my hair away from my face and I flinched, moving away.

I didn't want him touching me!

"What exactly am I supposed to admit?" I muttered, hoping he didn't try any funny stuff again.

Gold's amber eyes narrowed as he stared at me, silence consumed us for what seemed like an eternity before he said the words I didn't want to hear.

"You're gay."

That was it, I just lost it.

I literally pounced on Gold in anger, pushing him down on the sofa with my hands around his neck. I wanted to choke him to death, to watch as he whined like a pathetic puppy dog for air.

I was not his bitch! He needed to know that! I was in control, I always would be!

As I pushed down with all my weight Gold just smiled at me, maybe he liked this, being dominated by me.

That smile did weird things to me... and my glaring act soon changed to feeling rather exposed right now. What the fuck was I doing?!

My hands softened around his neck, but remained there. If he dared try anything I would kill the bastard.

"Well... this is a pleasant surprise." Gold joked, smiling that smile I hated so much.

I hated him so much right now, more than I hated anything in my entire lift yet still, I couldn't put any effort into choking him. It was as if my energy was gone.

Then I felt Gold's hand's rest on my hips, not moving just remaining there.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to feel his hands on me.

He had touched me enough already!

"So, are you going to do something?" Gold asked, raising an eyebrow at me which made me bite the inside of my mouth in annoyance.

I wanted to, I wanted to punch his face in! But I couldn't. I was paralysed once again.

My body jolted and I released his neck when I felt his fingers trace smooth circles along my hips, caressing gently.

Did he have no shame?!

I closed my eyes, trying not to get wound up, to remember to breathe at all times.

But, his hands continued to wonder... they wondered over my hips to the base of my spine, massaging and caressing without mercy. Then they moved lower...

"Get the... hell... off me!" I managed to blurt out, not wanting to open my eyes.

I didn't want to see his smug expression, I didn't want to keep feeling his hands all over me.

"Make me." He replied dangerously, grabbing my butt roughly through my jeans which made me yelp like a dog that had been kicked by it's owner.

What the fuck was he doing? And why did he have control yet again?!

Then I felt him lift his hips upwards so he was grinding his midsection against mine, slowly, teasingly.

I stifled a groan that wanted to escape my lips, but I wouldn't let him win.

I wouldn't allow him to do this to me!

Before I knew it I had buried my face into his shoulder, trying to hide my expression from view. His hands were still on my butt, moving my body in time with his grinding action and it was driving me to distraction.

What if his Mom came in now?!

"S-stop..." I pleaded, hating how desperate it sounded.

"You know you want this Silver..." He cooed down my ear, causing my body to erupt in Goosebumps.

Then I felt him place a kiss dangerously close to my cheek which made my face feel like it had just caught fire.

Why did he keep doing this? I didn't want this...

"If you wanted me to stop... you would've made me by now..." Gold moaned in my ear, causing my body to tremble.

Was he right? Did I really want him to stop, or was it to stop myself from feeling ashamed?

I raised my head now allowing myself to look into his eyes, searching for the answers I needed. Amber eyes were clouded by lust, half lidded and his breath was hot on my face.

This was so wrong...yet... so right...

"I want you... to..." I murmured, placing my hands either side of his head.

"Want me to what?" Gold asked.

As I neared my face to his I swallowed hard, wondering if this was the right thing to do.

"...kiss me..."

And he did.

It all happened so fast.

His mouth was on mine hungrily, and his hands had now wondered to my back and had stayed there. It didn't take long before he tried slipping his tongue inside my mouth.

A part of me didn't want to, but another wanted this more than anything.

So I let him win, I let his tongue slip inside so he could explore every inch of my mouth in this domineering way. I groaned as the feelings erupted all throughout my body.

I never thought it would feel so good to do something so wrong. My paranoid self wants me to stop, but I can't. I am aloud to do this, Gold is letting this happen so why stop it?

Even though right now I felt helpless I didn't want to put up a fight this time.

Gold's hands massaged my thighs, moving over my ass once again which made me push my body down closer to his. He inhaled sharply as we continued kissing, then his hands moved again.

They went down in between my legs, stroking that sensitive area that he had already assaulted.

"A-ah..." I moaned into the kiss, hating myself for it.

For an odd reason my erection seemed even more needy than it did earlier this morning and I could not help but grind harder into the dark haired boy.

He broke the kiss almost immediately as he groaned out loud and then started to plant kisses all along my collarbone.

I tried to tell myself to keep breathing, but it was so damn hard when Gold's hands were everywhere.

But still, I couldn't let his reign of dominance control me for too long.

I grabbed a fistful of his hair to pull his mouth off my neck.

He groaned in discomfort before I attacked his mouth forcefully. I pushed my tongue inside his mouth, wondering if it was okay to do this to your supposed 'friend'. But it felt okay right now, even if there was a terrible gut wrenching feeling that continued to harass me, to tell me it was wrong.

Gold moaned and his back arched slightly as I tugged his hair once again.

Seemed like I wasn't the only one losing control here...

What happened next just seemed like a blur.

I hardly remember when Gold lead me into his bedroom, closing the door behind us. Even if no-one was home.

I wasn't even aware of the fact he was stripping me, taking away all my defence and leaving me so utterly exposed. I think my clothes must have been thrown onto the floor and I don't even recall Gold taking his off, but I do remember when his naked body lay down on top of mine.

I do remember when I pulled the dark haired boy into another kiss and pushed our bodies closer together...

I was supposed to teach him a lesson! I was supposed to do something about this, not end up in bed with him!

"G-Gold..." I whined pathetically, feeling how smooth his skin was against mine, and the seeing the contrast of our colours.

I was such a sickly pale white, whereas he was a lovely honey colour. It was making me giddy.

"So... are you going to make me stop?" He asked me dangerously, sliding a hand up my leg slowly.

I bit my lip, hating how weak I had become.

I could always turn the tide of this... but then, I could get the blame. No... maybe I needed to think strategy here...

"No..." I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close so our lips collided together once again.

Our erections brushed together which made both us us moan into the kiss.

It was weird... this feeling was so intense I just wanted to scream. I wanted to scream until my lungs burned. I wasn't going to lose... this time. I promised that.

Gold's hips rocked with mine, smooth legs entwining together, while his mouth continued to devour my ear... my neck... my mouth, whatever he could get close to.

He was making my skin wet from the kisses and his hot breath that washed over my skin.

I desperately held onto his hips while his hands became lost in my hair. As our hips grind together once again I couldn't help but groan.

This was too much, and I needed to keep it in control!

Then everything just seemed to happen to fast.

I was so aroused I couldn't stop myself even if I had wanted to and I still had that chance when I watched Gold use some Vaseline that was lying on his bedside table to coat his erection.

I still had time to stop him as he just steadied himself against me.

But I didn't have any more time left when he pushed himself inside me and caused me to shriek out in pain and pleasure.

I never imagined myself having sex with anyone, not even a girl, but having sex with a guy just seemed unimaginable. That was until now.

His hands were holding my hips roughly as time after time he plunged deeper inside me and I could feel it, I could feel every inch and it was a little unsettling.

Gold... he was fucking me... and I was enjoying it!

"G-Gold..." I moaned, closing my eyes as my body was thrust into the mattress time and time again.

I continued to have my fingers buried in his hair, pulling his head downwards so he couldn't look at me. I didn't want his amber eyes to watch me.

"A-ah... S-Silver..." He groaned desperately as time after time he thrust deeper and harder into me.

I could feel it, my release was building in the pits of my stomach with every thrust and I hated myself for it.

I was meant to control this, to be the one sorting this mess out, instead I was going to the point of no return.

"Shit!" I cursed as he had managed to hit something deep inside that just made my whole world turn on it's axis.

It was as if I was on ecstasy or something. The whole room seemed to spin and I was getting giddier and giddier.

"Oh God... S-Silver... I'm gonna... i'm gonna..." Gold pleaded, his whole body trembling against mine.

I couldn't even breathe right now, everything was just taken away from me.

My eyes had rolled backwards and all I could understand was this incredible feeling that had seared through me.

I bit my lip, not wanting to scream out when I did eventually release.

But I did, I screamed so loud it was a wonder the neighbours didn't complain.

I tugged on his hair hard as that wave of euphoria washed over me. It only lasted for a few minutes and then I heard Gold's desperate cries.

"A-ahhh... S-Silver!"

His erection twitched violently inside me as he released and once I had managed to figure out how to breathe again a cold sweat consumed me.

I actually did it... I actually had sex with Gold...

My eyes widened as he lay on top of me in a sticky mess, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

He was here... accepting what we had just done.

And now I had to accept it too.

I'm into guys...I am somehow attracted to Gold out of all people, and not only have I just slept with him I wanted to keep doing it, over and over again!

As Gold rested his head against my tense shoulder I needed to think of something, anything to get my sanity back.

I would have to avoid Gold from now on, there was no way we could even try to be friends any more... and I would have to avoid Crystal too, just so she wouldn't nag on at me about stuff. It was for the best anyway...

Authors note: Oh My God! Silver you dirty little whore you! :) See, not even you can resist Gold ;)

I hoped the lemon was okay, it was hard to describe it considering as it was from Silver's point of view, but i hoped I did okay :)

Please read and review! :) I love hearing what you guys think!