Author's Note: Wow, how did I do this one so fast?
For those of you who read the preview (yes it's staying up), I'm sorry if I completely screwed with your predictions.
So this was partially influenced by an interview of a person awaiting trial that I read. This chapter, as the title suggests, focuses on what that prospect's doing to Kerrigan. That was hinted at in the last chapter as something troubling her, but I want to make it clear that what happened during the battle with Nyon only made an existing problem worse and manifest rather than create a new one.
(music - StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty Soundtrack: Better Tomorrow)
Sarah trudged through the enraged crowds lining the streets of Antioch, trying to shut out both their hateful thoughts and words. The fact that they had dressed her up as her infested form didn't help, though they hadn't done it perfectly as her red hair still flew freely in the gentle breeze.
She slowed for a second and a Zealot shoved her forward, almost causing her to fall. Her escorts never dropped their pace and Sarah could barely keep up while trying to regain her balance.
The procession reached a temporary dais erected in one of the city's squares. Sarah climbed onto it, bracing herself for whatever death the Protoss had in mind. A Sentry began zapping her with its disruption beam, causing her to squirm in discomfort. It wasn't on a lethal setting, but the robotic drone was slowly increasing its power. Of course her death would not come quickly: Public humiliation would precede it, but the sheer ridiculousness of the situation would have made her laugh at any other time.
"So not only do I have to sit through this, but I have to die from a tickle beam. Wonderful."
The beam suddenly stopped and a Zealot began removing the fake wings and carapace they had put on her. Sarah was thankful that they had left her hostile environment suit underneath it, but as they removed the fake Zerg pieces one of them deliberately pressed the quick release.
"Oh, this just keeps getting better..." Sarah fought to keep the blood from rushing to her face as her naked body was exposed and squeezed her eyes shut as spectators shouted mocking catcalls and other insults.
Suddenly, the crowd fell silent as Nahaan began a speech.
"Get on with it already. You guys were so eager to see me die anyway." Eventually the Praetor's drivel ceased and the Zealot stepped forward, holding a ceremonial psi-blade. Just as he was about to slice it, the warrior changed his mind and viciously kicked Sarah. So did the other Zealot on the dais. Bound, gagged, and with no protection, she could do nothing more than try to stomach the beating. It stopped after a while, but Sarah had no sooner lowered her guard than recieved another kick straight between her legs.
"You can't even execute her in a dignified manner?!" Sarah looked up and saw Jim in his combat armor trying to make his way to the dais.
She began vehemently shaking her head, trying to get him to back down. But of course Jim wouldn't drop the knight-in-shining-armor routine. He'd reached the security perimeter and was pointing his penetrator rifle at the Zealots, trying to force his way through. One of the Zealots made to push him away and recieved a penetrator bullet to the head. The square was silent for a few seconds before Nahaan spoke.
"You dare exploit our genorosity, James Raynor? All the Conclave and Hierarchy needlessly conceeded to your kind, and you demand more by interfering with our justice? Very well! You shall have more: taste the might of the Ara!"
He had no chance, and everyone knew it. A plasma gun round destroyed a Dragoon, a grenade sent a group of Zealots reeling, and dozens of Protoss fell with wounds from Jim's rifle, but within the span of a minute the numbers overwhelmed him and he was subdued. The Zealots took care in removing his combat armor, but they displayed no such thing in handling their formerly greatest ally.
Sarah watched as the Zealots roughly tossed Jim next to her.
"Jim...you shouldn't have."
"I might as well die with you. Without you I have nothing left to stay here for."
Sarah blinked and a tear ran down her cheek. They had meant the universe to each other and they both knew it, but now, when they were about to lose it all...
She lifted his eyes to his as he did the same. The Zealots roughly hoisted him to his feet, but he never broke eye contact.
"I love you, Jim. Never forget it."
"Never, Sarah. I wo - " Jim's final words were cut short and a psi-blade sprouted from his chest while another slid across his throat.
Before she could comprehend what had happened Sarah felt herself being roughly hoisted to her feet as the Protoss led her back to her cell. She saw out of the corner of her eye one of them dragging Jim's corpse.
When they reached her cell, both were thrown in unceremoniously. In the background, a doleful speech about the future of the Protoss began.
As the lock engaged, Sarah finally managed to comprehend what had happened. "Jim, please don't be dead," she repeated as she cradled his lifeless head in her hands. "I need you...Jim..." she kissed him and immediately regretted it. There was no denying his death now; for the first time, he didn't kiss back.
Her hands trembling, Sarah lowered the corpse's head to the ground and slowly backed away. "No, no," she whispered, her voice growing louder in denial each time. "No, no, no!" She began to cry uncontrollably, though all the tears she had, every breath in her lungs, and every ounce of her strength could not vent in the slightest the terrible feelings within her.
Within seconds they had built up to unbearable levels. The psionic scream she let loose now easily surpassed even the one after her escape from Umoja. The cell shook and the nearest guards collapsed dead where they stood, while many more clutched their heads and rolled in agony, their minds overwhelmed by the bitter psychic overload and their eyes blinded by a brilliant glow. Across Antioch, thousands of Protoss clutched their heads as they felt the devastated emotions of their worst enemy forcibly shared with them and countless pieces of technology were simply fried by the waves of energy. But for all her rage and grief, the cell walls didn't break.
Sarah collapsed to the floor, tears still streaming down her face and sobs still rocking her body. She instinctively scrambled over to Jim's corpse and wrapped it in an embrace as passionate as any they had shared while he was alive, hoping for some brief solace from her pain.
The cold touch that greeted her was anything but comforting, and Sarah felt her emotions welling up within her again. But this time when she screamed, it was his name, called one last time from within the increasing depths of her mind as she desperately tried anything and everything she could to bury the memories of him that had once been her most precious.
"JIM!"
With a gasp, Sarah sat up in the Hyperion medbay's bed, shaken from the nightmare she'd just had. Her damp hair was plastered to her face and a complete mess and her eyes were swollen and red from crying in her sleep, but she scrambled out of bed and out of the medbay before even putting her hostile environment suit on.
Thankfully nobody was roaming the Hyperion's hallways, but that was the last thing on Sarah's mind. When she reached Jim's room, the repurposed admiral's quarters, she tried to enter and found it locked. That was odd. Jim never locked it...She knocked and stepped back in surprise as the door opened of its own accord and revealed an empty room, devoid of everything except a vidsnap lying on the desk. Sarah walked over and saw it was one of her, back when they were still in the Sons of Korhal. The same one that Jim had kept with him through six years of loneliness and despair. But...this wasn't right. Where was Jim? She needed him, to make sure he was alive...
Suddenly she heard a sound behind her and whirled around. A pair of glowing orange eyes looked back at her and a single Zergling with a broken horn walked into the room.
Sarah looked at it in surprise before remembering that it could do as it pleased now. She noticed a plaque on the wall next to the door frame.
"Jim Raynor, a friend, fighter, and leader," it read. Sarah backed up and held her hands against her temples. No, no, this was all wrong. Jim wasn't dead...then another Zerg appeared in the entrance, causing Sarah to reel back slightly. The shock was minor compared to what came next.
"I thought you said the Zerg wouldn't infest people anymore, darlin'." The figure stepped closer and Sarah screamed in horror as she saw Jim standing before her, clad in Zerg carapace, with a claw for a right hand and glowing orange eyes. But most hauntingly, the infested had a hole through his chest that was just the right size for a psi-blade wound and a deep gash in his neck. Now she knew what he felt when he tried to rescue her on Char...
"Jim," she tried to keep her voice steady and failed. "I can get that carapace off. There should be something that - "
Sarah stopped as Zerg suddenly flooded the hallway. Sarah could also hear the screech of Mutalisks above. "I'm one of the Zerg now, darlin'. And I like what I am."
Sarah shuddered at hearing her words on Char spoken back to her.
"You can't hide from me forever, Sarah, and now, I have you at last." The wall behind her was torn down by several Hunter Killers and Sarah realized the Hyperion had crashed on Char. It was her worst nightmare replayed again, but this time, their roles were reversed.
Infested Jim stepped forward and tried to kiss her, but Sarah shied away and tried to make a run back to the medbay. The Zergling that had once been a companion during her time with the Swarm now bared its teeth and blocked her way out.
"C'mon, darlin, all I want is a kiss." Sarah screamed as he put his claw around her naked waist, but he had already caught her and held her back.
"Jim, please let go," Sarah pleaded. "I can help you, but only if you let me live!"
Jim laughed and the claw dug deeper into her skin as he tried to pull her closer and she resisted, the sharp prick eliciting a slight yelp from Sarah. "I don't want help, darlin'. I want you. You were the end of me, and I swore I would be the one to kill you someday. How ironic that I needed to be a Zerg to fulfill that promise." Two Hunter Killers suddenly appeared at his sides and two more behind her. Even with her psionic powers the odds were highly against her.
"Help, someone...anyone...!" Sarah pleaded telepathically. Unfortunately Jim heard it.
"You're always the one that needs savin', but you can't save someone from their savoir..." the Hunter Killers growled at her and raised their bladed claws.
Sarah closed her eyes and prepared for the inevitable, but it never came...
Bel'shir (music - Mega Man X6: Rainy Turtloid Stage)
...instead, her eyes shot open with another gasp and she found herself laying on the floor of the Bel'shir jungle where she'd blacked out. She noticed her left hand was gripping a rock tightly and quickly let go, wary of any parasites or mites that might be clinging to it.
It was nighttime now and there was a light rain. The creatures, hiding from both the day heat and the fierce battle over Terrazine, were now out and about. But Sarah didn't care.
"Jim, where's Jim?" she rolled over and sat normally as she looked around desperately before remembering she'd run off. She kicked herself for her lack of foresight. She'd known that the prospect of trial was troubling her and she'd had a nightmare before they landed on Bel'shir, though not nearly as bad as this one. And yet she'd run away from the only source of comfort to her in this cold universe.
"Okay, Sarah, calm down," she told herself as she pushed the thoughts from her head as best as she could. "Think of a way to proceed. Jim will find you eventually. Have faith in him."
The rain seeped through the acid-burned holes and the gaping hole in the stomach of her hostile environment suit. Soon her body was soaking wet. Fortunately, the temperature hadn't dropped enough for hypothermia to be an issue. "What a fitting metaphor for me."
Sarah looked around and quickly realized the rain had washed away any signs of the path she'd taken to get here. She also noticed her earpiece, goggles, rifle, and pistol were missing, and her cloaking device was as useless as ever, with a hole burned by Baneling acid straight through it. She hoped she'd dropped the other gear somewhere instead of leaving them back where she'd started her flight, but odds were the latter was the case.
She decided to try and pick her way back through the foliage as best as she could. She still had her combat knife and her powers to defend herself, anyhow. But no sooner had she stepped into the dark undercover than she felt an alarming sense of claustrophobia rising within her. She pressed on, trying to calm herself as she picked her way back. Suddenly she heard a screech and drew her knife, whipping around as she did so. The Karak ran straight into the six-inch blade and fell dead. Sarah quickly moved on. She'd seen that they always traveled in packs when Abathur had her collect their essence for the Raptor strain.
Presently she reached another clearing. "Oh, why am I even trying? I'm hopelessly lost...I might as well be moving further away from them for all I know. And maybe they left me here..."
More screeches suddenly issued from the forest behind her, and Sarah saw dozens of pairs of eyes peeking out at her from the dense foilage. Terror rose up in her and she felt adrenaline shooting through her veins as she instinctively ran from the dozens of creatures now pursuing her, casting a psionic storm as she fled. She suddenly tripped on a log and got a faceful of mud and decaying plants. The knife went flying.
"Ugh!" she groaned and spat out some of the vile concoction while wiping the the rest off her as best as she could. She cold no longer hear the screeches of the beasts hunting her. Presumably the psionic storm had taken care of them, but Sarah still needed to find another clearing to plan her next move. The darkness of the jungle floor was starting to freak her out, not helped by aftereffects of the recent flight.
She found a clearing after only a few minutes of walking and without attracting any more predators, but that didn't mean she was any less lost.
"Now what do I do?" she thought wildly. "Oh, Jim, I should've listened to you...or least been less stupid..."
At the mention of his name the images of the nightmare came roaring back and Sarah pressed her hands against her temples, vainly attempting to shut them out. The hands moved to cover her face and she began to cry softly as she relived their highlights, her tears washing away in the rain that slipped between her fingers. Over her sobs she thought she once heard the whine of dropship engines and metallic growling, but she dismissed it as another notion of her mind.
A few minutes later, Sarah heard the growling sound from behind her and quickly got to her feet, whirling around as she looked for the source of the noise. She spotted a pair of orange eyes and no sooner had she seen them than the Predator stepped into the open.
Fortunately for Sarah, Stetmann had managed to reign in the robotic beasts' fierce tempers when he'd brought the Raider's inventory in for maintenance. Stetmann had their programming, originally a direct mimcry of the Zergling's (with the same bloodlust and intensity, the initial downfall of the project), adjusted so they paid attention to their IFFs and command overrides. While this diminished the Predator's combat prowess slightly, it made them much more useful for missions like the one the drone was on now because of their high speed and terrain-navigating abilities. The Predator growled and stood close to Sarah; minutes later, she nearly sobbed with relief as she saw the dropship emblazoned with the Raiders' trademark skull descend and its ramp lower to reveal the one person she desperately needed to see.
"Jim!" she cried with relief and ran to him, hugging him tightly. "You're alive..." her eyelids drooped and she realized that she was long overdue for some rest.
He looked at her in brief confusion before noticing she had fallen asleep in his arms. "Ah, well, she can explain later." He wasn't going anywhere. Smiling, he gently laid her down on the seat next to him so her head rested on his lap. Once the Predator scouts were loaded back into their cages, the dropship took off and headed for the Hyperion.
Admiral's Quarters, Hyperion, Deep Space (music - Mega Man X: Cast Roll)
Sarah sat up wildly, her chest heaving, and looked around after reliving her nightmares again. Apparently whoever was sending her these must've figured out how to best get under her skin...she shuddered at the thought and pushed it from her head.
She realized she was in Jim's room, but everything was still there and the Hyperion was still in space. She kept looking as her heart slowed to its normal rate until her gaze froze upon the spot next to her on the bed and she caught her breath. She had to shake her head several times to make sure, but Jim was sleeping next to her, unmarked by infestation and very much alive.
Sarah gave a quiet sob of relief but at the threat of recollection of her nightmares she looked away and quietly slipped out of bed. She quickly leaned her head into the corridor and noticed Swann guiding a train of drones towards the engine room further down the hallway. At that she sighed with relief and her body relaxed slightly. The chief engineer gave a small wave and she returned it, ducking back into the room before he got too close.
She didn't want to sleep again after that or wake up Jim after he'd doubtlessly been searching sleeplessly for her, but she also needed some comfort after those nightmares. Sarah walked over to the desk in the room and quietly began rummaging for a vidsnap. She found the one she'd been looking for: one of Jim sitting on his Vulture that she had taken in the Hyperion's armory. Before Tarsonis...before all of this...a tear fell on the aging paper and Sarah quickly wiped it away. She hugged the photo as if it were Jim himself for a few seconds before slipping it between her clothes and climbing back into bed.
She ran her hands over Jim's body for a few minutes, telling herself to forget the nightmares and that he wasn't actually infested or dead.
Suddenly her heart jumped to her throat as Jim stirred and put his arm around her. She immediately put her arms around him and held tight.
"Sarah, what's wrong?"
"Jim, hold me," she whispered uregently. He complied, and Sarah continued crying into his chest as the visions of her nightmare returned in force.
He was no expert, but he could guess what had been plaguing her mind after she had run off. After all, he had almost sixteen hours to think about it. He hadn't slept either since she'd fled and had been working himself over trying to find her, though it wasn't without grumbling on the part of his men, though the Terrazine retrieval had gone without a hitch as Nyon had strangely left them alone afterwards. Still, it had taken over five hours to collect enough Terrazine due to the Tal'darim successfully sealing off two altars, and during that time neither Zagara nor Matt would allow him to spare a dropship or manpower to look for Sarah until Stetmann had stepped in and suggested using the modified Predators, but by then their work on Bel'shir was almost done anyhow.
That time had given him plenty of time to conclude that the impending trial was turning his poor girl into a nervous wreck. But there would be time to talk about that later. For now, he simply held her and thought of his love for her while she gradually calmed down and the tears stopped.
They lay in silence for a while until he sensed she had calmed down enough. "Look at me, darlin'. What's wrong?"
Sarah looked up at him and he saw her green eyes were wide with fear and pain, and lined with tears. "What did you dream about?" he asked.
"The...the Protoss were going to execute me..." her voice and body were shaking so badly that he tried to silence her to let her recover, but she continued. "Y...you intervened...they...they..." her voice trailed off to a whisper. "...They killed you instead...then you were infested..." she began to cry again at remembering the scenes a fourth time. "Th...This trial...i...it's...killing me. I don't think I can cope much longer, Jim..."
"That was just a dream, darlin'," he reminded her as he continued to stroke her hair and hold her trembling form. "I'm here now, alive and human. It's okay, Sarah," he whispered as the tears stopped again. "You won't have to cope with it alone and you never had to. I'll always be there for you."
She looked up at him through tear-filled eyes, an expression of gratitude on her face. "I love you, Jim," she whispered. "Never forget it."
"Never, Sarah. I won't stop loving you for anything." he replied.
Hearing the words stolen from him in her nightmare was all Sarah needed. She snuggled closer to him, still hugging him tightly, and let her remaining tears dry up and the tremors in her body fade.
She felt as though her heart would burst from her chest. Despite everything that had happened and could happen between them, Jim still loved her as passionately as ever. There was nothing she could find to even remotely describe how she felt. It was fear, love, comfort, sadness...she just couldn't find a way to explain it to him, but she so badly wanted to even though there was no need: she saw he felt the same way.
"Are you okay?" he asked with concern as he heard her breathing become irregular and her grip grow tighter.
"I'm scared, Jim," she confessed after a few minutes of silence. "...Of this trial...there's so much at stake for you." She suddenly broke off. "And...I nearly threw it away by running off..."
By now, he knew why, and he suddenly saw what she feared. "Nobody's fearless, Sarah. It's what's inside us both that's often hardest to confront," he admitted as he kissed her forehead. "That's why we need each other."
Something seemed to loosen in her chest and Sarah suddenly began to cry again as every pent-up emotion of the last six years flooded out. Jim held her tighter and whispered words of comfort into her ear, waiting patiently for her to get it out of her system. He was slightly shocked: he hadn't known that Sarah had been keeping far more than she'd divulged even after he'd encouraged her so many times to talk following her deinfestation on Char and gotten nearly a river of tears and outpouring emotions every time.
In a gesture of love, Jim leaned over and gently nipped the rim of Sarah's ear. She stiffened slightly at the unfamiliar sensation, but it was oddly comforting to her and the flow of tears slowed before eventually stopping at last. Sarah was surprised she could even cry that much, and though part of her felt ashamed for it, most of her felt an immense relief at finally removing massive burden on her soul and mind, or at least sharing it with someone who wouldn't weaponize it.
Sarah just let Jim hold her afterwards and relaxed her body into his. She had started to drift back to sleep when she felt Jim's hands subtly move towards her waist. All thoughts of sleep suddenly disappeared and Sarah couldn't help the mischievous smile that spread across her face as she felt his hands move.
Jim slowly pulled the blanket off of them, wearing a grin of his own. Her hair was a tangled mess, still covered in mud and vegetation in some places, her face was pale and sickly from both the extortion of the last few days and the crying, and an array of bruises marred her body. But she'd never looked more beautiful to him. Immediately his mind began jumping forward...
Sarah laughed. "Why don't we make some of those dreams come true then?" she teased him. Jim smirked: a telepathic girlfriend could come in handy sometimes.
They spoke no more as their lips met and stayed together while their bodies interlocked in other ways. In the moments that followed, the couple forgot about everything but each other. The path to a happy life was still far from its end and fraught with obstacles, but for the first time the two simply stopped and took in everything they already had. As they shared the most intimate experience of their kind, both Jim and Sarah felt every bitter memory and every loss, connected to their minds by icy chains of pain, suffering, and regret that they thought couldn't be broken, swept away by an intense wave of passion for each other, the chains dissolving like darkness before light.
Their lovemaking lasted only a few minutes, but as they both basked in the afterglow, a certainty settled upon their minds.
As Jim looked at his beautiful girl, who he'd gone through hell and back to restore and fought alongside for years, he realized he wouldn't, and couldn't, leave her. Not for anyone, nor anything. He knew Sarah Kerrigan was meant to be his and his only, and he would see that she was or die trying.
Though Jim couldn't read her thoughts, she was making a vow with just as much fervor. They had both suffered greatly, but Sarah would help Jim release and cope with the ghosts of his past just as he had just helped her do. Sarah didn't need to peer far into his mind to see the ravages that four years of mourning and bitterness had done to his psyche. It wasn't visible, but it only needed the slightest push to be, and Sarah knew how that felt better than anyone. She didn't want Jim going through everything the way she had: She would help Jim settle his ghosts now that he had finally settled hers.
They had both been through hell and might yet return to it. But from now on, they wouldn't be alone.
Author's Note: Poor Kerrigan. I've been making this story really hard on her so far. Thankfully for her, this should be the last time in a while that there's a scene like this one.