How dare he.
How fucking dare he.
Commander Shepard stormed into her quarters, yanking her armoured gloves from her hand and throwing them onto the desk that resided in one corner.
She looked at her bed longingly, wishing she could simply curl up there and never wake up again, just let the Reapers roll on through. But even as the thoughts crossed her mind she knew she could never do that.
However dismissive the Council were, however big an ass Udina was she couldn't just stand by and let that happen, even to them. And especially not her crew. People she had come to care for, people who had made sacrifices alongside her, with her, for her – Ashley, who had died for the mission.
Unstrapping her chest plate she opened her armour locker, setting the pieces inside gently. It might be a while before she could use them again.
"Tempy!" The doors opened – not even a knock – and Hobbs entered in a rush. She scowled at him, giving herself a once over to make sure she was appropriately dressed. Still clad in her armoured combats and her favourite grey racer-back she shrugged deciding it was as good as anything else to be wearing, but prevented him from any appreciative glances in areas best avoided.
He was still in his armour, this black lightweight suit he wore, and as he came to a stop beside her he looked almost hesitant, a trait far removed from the usual cockiness of Hobbs.
"I'm sorry." He said at last "I did not expect it to go down that way."
Abigail swung her eyes to him, wondering how exactly he thought the Council would react but decided not to press the matter and instead gave him a small smile "You're best friends with Shastri are you not?" She asked raising her eyebrows "Can you ask the Prime Minister to lift the lock on the Normandy?"
Hobbs looked at her firmly, whistling through his teeth as he raked a hand through his hair "That's… I can ask." He said at last "I'm not his best friend Shepard. I'm his agent. Sometimes his personal bodyguard, depends on the mission."
She laughed, surprising herself as well as him that she could find some humour at a time like this "Yeah but, you know him a damn sight better than I do – and I'm guessing he knows you, which could work in our favour."
At that he did smile, that same cheeky grin he always gave her when she made him feel good – usually inadvertently "Is that you admitting you're glad I'm here Shepard?" He prodded and she shook her head tiredly.
"I'm not yet." She said flatly "The lock is still on the Normandy."
His smile dropped and he raised his hands to chest height fending her off "Alright, alright." He said with a chuckle "I get it. Get to work Hobbs right?"
At that she did give him a smile, wide and genuine "See how fast you learn?"
He made to leave turning toward the door "I meant to ask if you had a good shore leave?" He said, the manner was non-committed but Shepard knew better. He was probing for information.
"I did." She said vaguely "Best two days I've had in some time." She added, knowing it had a sting in the tail for him.
He looked back at her, his hands sliding into his pockets, his eyebrows raised in surprise "I didn't know he had it in him." He said simply, and Shepard knew he was referring to the Leuitenant – so he obviously knew who she had spent the two days with. Of course he was assuming they had been getting down and dirty – but in actual fact Kaidan had been nothing but a gentleman; they had spent the days on the beach, at local sights and the evenings eating out and listening to him play guitar late into the night.
"What do you mean by that?" She frowned.
"Well I actually thought he was gay." Hobbs explained wryly "And I know he said he wasn't, but I was still expecting it to come out any day."
Shepard rolled her eyes "I can assure you he's not gay." She said flatly and Hobb's smiled.
"No, no. I get that now. Two days is… well…" He cleared his throat, lacing his tone with sarcasm and mirth as he added "Boy must have stamina."
Shepard sighed, meeting his eyes levelly "Mmm." She retorted "He does." It had the effect she had been hoping for. Hobb's usual confident, mocking demeanour faltered and his forehead creased into a frown of curiosity, but there was no way she was going to answer the question he really wanted to know – and it was a simple one too: Had they slept together?
It was only a one-word answer but she would be damned if she was giving him the satisfaction of knowing that they had not. That Kaidan had been frustratingly polite, but not so reserved about walking around shirtless, making Shepard's head spin wildly – particularly playing volleyball on the beach – which to this moment she knew she would never forget.
The lieutenant's virtue was safely still intact and she was not going to give Hobb's any more ammunition against him knowing now how the Operative made Kaidan feel.
"Is that all?" She asked, arching an eyebrow for good measure. Hobb's made to reply, but from the look on her face he must have realised he wasn't getting anything more from her and instead gave her a small smile.
"I'll get in touch with Shastri." He said quietly "I'll let you know within the hour."
As he turned to leave the Comm crackled into life and a voice came over, nervous but holding tone well.
"Commander?" It was Kaidan, and Hobbs paused to turn a listen as Shepard moved to the speaker at her desk "I was wondering if I could discuss something with you?"
Hobbs gave a laugh "I wonder what that could be." He said sarcastically and Shepard shot him a warning look.
"At least he doesn't just barge in." She said pointedly and pressed the comm button "Sure Lieutenant." She said breezily "Just come in."
A moment later the doors slid open and Kaidan froze, his eyes looking first to Hobbs then to the Commander. He stood just outside her quarters, almost waiting as Hobbs sidled up to him, his hands still in his pockets as he threw his hips, making his walk seem lazy and jaunty.
"We were just talking about you." He said with a grin "Staff Lieutenant."
Kaidan looked at him, blinking placidly as he moved his shoulders "That must have been an enlightening experience for you." He said flatly and Shepard smiled, there was no way Hobb's was going to get a reaction from the man, He could be like stone when he wanted to and she knew that was part of his almost chronically obsessive need to control himself, to prevent another incident like when he killed Vrynnus in anger.
Hobb's didn't press, instead he turned back to Shepard, giving her an obvious wink in full view of the Lieutenant, and despite his usual cool Abigail was sure she could see Kaidan's jaw tense before Hobb's sauntered off. Hopefully to call Shastri she thought idly as she turned her attention to Kaidan once more.
"Shepard…" He hesitated in the doorway, unsure about the protocol now and it amused her as she glanced up from her console. He was stood in the threshold, his foot moving forward and backward as he tried to decide what was a polite and professional entrance – funny how you can kiss a guy and suddenly they don't know what to do with themselves.
"I mean Commander." He corrects himself, absently as he finally steps inside, a datapad clutched between his hands as he glances over his shoulder watching the doors slide closed behind him "I … uh… I don't know if this is a good time…"
She smiled, rolling her eyes as she turned in the seat to face him properly "Spill it Alenko." Shepard smiled "If you're here to talk about the meeting with the council though, save it. I just need some time to work things out."
He frowned at her, as though he had no idea what she was talking about. As though they had not just had their asses handed to them by the Council and that damned Udina.
"Oh." He says and nodded awkwardly "Right. Yeah. Well actually I wanted to –" He paused, striding toward her purposefully and offered the datapad "You remember when you gave me those OSD's?"
Shepard blinked, taking the datapad gently, it was her turn to be surprised "Oh. Right. Yeah." She nodded "Did you break them?"
He looked almost proud of himself "It wasn't too hard, the inscription you were told about – the one that said you had the key; it actually translated as you were the key. Your full name actually. Was the password. Easy if you know how right?"
She looked at him carefully, her blue eyes lighting with mischief "You know my middle name Alenko?"
At that he blushed profusely, his hand creeping to rub the back of his neck awkwardly "I might have come across it ma'am." He muttered.
She set the datapad down and moved her shoulders "So what did it say?" She asked, watching him carefully. Kaidan blinked, gesturing to the datapad as though it were obvious.
"I put the data from all the OSD's on there for you…" He said quietly and she grinned wickedly at him.
"Come on Alenko. You can't lie to me. You read it – no big deal, paraphrase for me. What does it say?"
He looked at her then, almost offended that she would question his integrity, but his charm and waffle fractured and he smiled at her chagrined "I don't know if now is a good time…" He said gently.
"Is it worse than the Council grounding us Alenko?" She prodded and when he didn't answer her brow dropped "Is it?"
"I think that depends." He said, then off her look he sighed, folding his arms over his chest "Alright." He said unhappily "It's records. Some are John Shepard's. Some are this marine… a Lieutenant Stewart Cooper – it looks as though he had these OSD's to protect you somehow. When I broke the encryption it had fingerprints on it, as though someone had been through it before. I think it was him."
"Ok." Shepard said calmly, "So what did he have to protect me from?" She asked confused.
"The Alliance." Kaidan said carefully "Shepard… according to these records you're not… I mean, John Shepard was not your father."
Hobb's was feeling quite sour as he strode into the Comm room, making sure the interior mute was on before he approached the console at the far end. The room was quite large when it was absent the bodies in the chairs and Shepard's larger-than-life presence.
He glanced over his shoulder, not that he was nervous or suspicious someone would be listening in, but because he didn't like people see him answering to anyone. That kind of shit could dog you for the rest of your life if you let it, and he had sworn long ago he would be under the thumb of no-one ever again.
And like most problems in Hobbs' life, it started with a girl.
"Did you get it?" She whispers and I look at her, large amber eyes watching mine expectantly, on the brink of tears as I haul myself up into the loft, my arms shaking under my skinny frame as I bring my feet up from under me.
"I got it." I breathe, careful to stay on the wooden beams of the attic as I make my way over to her. She sits with her legs drawn to her on the wooden door we slid over the beams to provide a seat. I sit beside her, pulling the slice of bread from my pocket and offering the tattered remnants to her like prized jewels. "Told you I could do it." I say proudly.
She takes it, pulling careful slivers and popping them into her mouth. She offers me some silently, but I decline. I still have a few days left in me before I will need to steal something, in the meantime the less that goes missing the less noticeable it is and the longer I can feed her and Kenzie.
"Do you think we'll ever get a home Hobbs?" Trick asks, her thick, uneven fringe falling into her eyes as she sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. She's sick, I know it – I feel it – deep down and I know there's nothing I can do to stop the impending pneumonia of harsh winter and damp conditions festering in her lungs.
I'm scared I might lose her, like I lost Libby last year, and Michael and Daniel the year before. This orphanage puts out more dead children than it does live ones into homes.
"Sure." I lie to her, looking at her pitiful face, the large golden eyes, the round cherub-like face, the dull, malnourished red ringlets that hang down to her shoulders where they have been unceremoniously chopped to save tedious and time consuming brushing and cleaning. With a clean and a warm bed she could be a pretty thing, she could be someone's daughter, but no one comes to visit us here.
And no one wants a child who has reached 7. They want babies. I know that – I'm 14 now and I have seen them come and never go. All ages, the young ones never last long, doesn't matter how hard I try to feed them and how much I bundle them against the cold Scottish winds, they never last more than a few months.
I'm sure he likes it that way. Less hassle with a toddler screaming for you every five minutes, not that he ever answered the cries and I couldn't always either. If I were caught abandoning chores to see to a baby I would be beaten to death, and then I would be no help to anyone. But in the darkness they don't look for me, I learned that quickly. Once Duncan has drunk his swill until he can't walk and staggers out the orphanage to his grand home next door he rarely if ever comes back until morning.
Night is my time to soothe and protect. At night I can tuck Kenzie onto my knee, his little face lighting when he sees me and I can read to him. I only have one book, although I vary the story for him, but I don't think he cares, he just wants to be held most of the time – I suppose that is normal for a two year old though.
The hero is always the same though, I make sure of that; a protector, a knight.
A Paladin.
Hobbs smiled grimly as he opened the console and connected to the Alliance extranet system. Entering his passcodes and the correct extension numbers he waited as the room filled with the whir of lines flicking and connecting.
"Operative?" The voice on the other end was authoritative, deep and laced with a stoic accent. He was used to this address from Shastri, it was the final pass.
"Paladin." He said carefully.
"What do you need Hobbs?" Shastri asked, his tone had changed in an instant, becoming easy – almost charming and light, but never losing that edge of authority.
"Got a problem with a land-lock on the Normandy sir." Hobbs said firmly "Just wondering if you could have it lifted."
There was a long pause, and Hobbs held his breath, leaning his hands on the console as he waited.
"I can do that." Shastri said at last "But it'll take time Hobbs. Udina is an ass, we all know that, but he is also the only ass willing to fight it out on the Citadel surrounded by aliens, so I have to be… tactful. You understand?" He takes a breath, the sound heavy over the speakers "An angry politician I can deal with, a disgruntled and vengeful one, not something you want to leave festering. Leave it with me. The Normandy will be functional tomorrow."
"Aye aye Sir." Hobbs said, there was no need to thank the man for doing his job, but he still had to swallow the words. Over the years he had become very grateful to Shastri for the opportunities he had afforded him.
That was good news at least, they could wait until tomorrow.
He was about to turn when the door opened and Shepard strode in, her gait was purposeful, angry and he racked his brain quickly to see if he could work out the cause of her distress before she was on him. He had nothing.
"Temp-"
"Did you know?!" She screamed at him, and he blinked, glancing behind her to see Kaidan rushing in after her. The Leuitenant came up behind her, his hand going to her shoulder but she slapped it away hotly, squaring against Hobbs in a blazing fury.
"You knew didn't you?!" She asked, her voice high and strained "You were always shifty when I told you about Mindoir Hobbs, you bloody knew!"
He glanced to Kaidan for a clue, but he was too busy trying to get Shepard's attention to even notice.
"What's going on?" He asked, raising his hands in defence, subtly splaying his legs ready to defend himself if she should strike at him.
"John Shepard is not my dad." She ground out, her dark hair whirling round to frame her face "And you knew."
With that she does explode, a barrage of fists coming at him in a fury. Hobb's grabbed her hands, but it was a disorganised, emotional attack and he didn't need to use much force to stem the blows. She was sobbing as much as she was screaming at him and he put a leg forward, forcing her back so she had to reach for him.
"Tempy!" He called but she wasn't hearing him, she was blinded by rage and by hurt and by a million other emotions he had no hope of understanding "Alright!" He roared and that gave her pause, her arms ceasing their endless battle against him as she looked at him finally. He could see she was still in denial, could see she was still hoping he knew nothing, that he hadn't deceived her, hadn't lied to her again.
He knew she was about to be disappointed.
"I knew." He said carefully and her shoulders slumped, deflated, disappointed "I knew ok."
She simply stared at him, her blue eyes a mix of grief and horror and beyond wounded and he didn't know what else to say to her.
"You did?" She asked, her voice tiny and whispery as her arms relaxed. He released her and she turned from him, causing Kaidan to stumble back where he stood behind her. The Lieutenant stuffed his hands into his combats, moving to the edge of the room as she made to leave.
"Abby," Hobbs called after her "Wait… I can tell you about it…"
She laughed, but there was no humour in it, it was cold and battered "You know what Hobbs forget it." She said, turning back to him quickly "I have it on the datapad – and I wouldn't want you to risk your precious oath to the Alliance for something as trivial as friendship. Or love."
And then she turned storming from the room once more. After a beat Kaidan moved, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
"For what it's worth I'm sorry." He said quietly "I tried to stop her coming to look for you until she calmed down a little, but…" He shook his head.
Hobbs sighed, sinking to sit in one of the empty seats as he buried his head in his hands "Where did she get those files?" He asked "They are seriously classified. Like serious shit."
Kaidan moved his shoulders "Does it matter? What matters is she has them now. And the truth."
Hobbs considered that a long moment and finally nodded "I guess you're right. I better go and talk to her."
Shepard could hardly breathe. Her hands shook as she lifted the datapad again, glimpsing the screeds of writing she felt her chest seize up painfully. How could she read this now? Who was she? Where did she come from? A million questions filled her head and she felt torn – not sure what scared her more reading these files and finding answers or reading them and still having questions.
She took a breath, steeling herself and lifted the pad carefully.
"Tempy?" Again Hobbs entered without notifying her and this time Shepard was more than a little annoyed about it. Slamming the datapad on her desk she turned to face him hotly, afraid that she wasn't going to be able to keep her emotions in check as she glared at him furiously.
"What?" She barked and he paused, the doors sliding closed with a hiss in the ensuing silence before he sighed, folding his hands in front of him.
"I knew." He said quietly "But it was after we had already met – after we were together, hell it was after you left me." He added pointedly "I… stumbled across it in Alliance archives. I thought I had deleted all the files."
"Deleted?" She shook her head "What the hell is this all about?"
"Ok." He gestured to the bed and she looked at him incredulously before he added "Sit down." With a small smile. Reluctantly she obeyed, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands curling around her knees as she watched him like a hawk, desperate for answers.
"I… Ok…" He sighed, pacing back and forth, if only to stop himself looking at her face as he told her "The Alliance began to get a bit curious about biotics, and hired a whole bunch of researchers to start looking into the how and why of eezo exposure. John Shepard was amongst the researchers chosen." He swallowed and she watched him as he looked about uncomfortably "I don't know about the other … I don't know the how long or the details… I don't know how many there were – but you were an experiment Tempy. They made you to see how much eezo exposure an embryo could take without dying." He swallowed, watching her face carefully as her eyes moved from his to search the floor instead "At some point in the pregnancy, John Shepard grew a conscience and … well he sent fake files back to the head office, claiming you had no biotic ability and rather than terminate the pregnancy at 20 weeks he and his wife were going to raise you as their own."
Hobbs swallowed, moving to sit next to her on the edge of the bed "He kept your biotics under control by… drugging you… the compound is in the files – in your cereal. Then when you turned fifteen the Alliance started sniffing around you again and so he moved to Mindoir. When they were attacked by Batarians… well your drugs wore off of course."
She was shaking, trembling beside him as she pressed her head into her hands.
"Was any of it real?" She asked brokenly "My mother…"
"Melissa Shepard was your mother Tempy. Your dad was a donor, chosen at random from a bank for the experiment. I don't know anything about him, I'm sorry." He caught his breath "Melissa volunteered to carry you for the experiment. She was a remarkable woman."
When she raised her eyes back to him they were full off tears, "So I'm some kind of freak?" She asked, her voice thin and whispery under her grief.
"You've always been a freak." He teased, nudging her playfully "No Tempy. You were just a kid, you didn't ask for any of this." He took a long breath "But you sure have done a lot with it."
"I hate you Hobbs." She muttered, wiping her eyes angrily "How could you keep something like that from me?"
"Come on Tempy." He said "Cut me some slack, you're not exactly easy to read you know – and we hadn't spoken in years… I hardly think turning up with that news would help mend any bridges."
She sighed, getting to her feet "I can't think about all this right now. I have to deal with Saren first. But don't think you are off the hook Hobbs." She warned jabbing a finger at him "As soon as this mission is done I expect serious answers from you – no more classified. No more secrets. Understand?"
He nodded slowly "You got it."
"Commander?" The voice was Joker's breaking over the speaker and Shepard cleared her throat moving to the speaker quickly.
"What's up Joker?" She asked.
"Just got a message from Admiral Anderson ma'am. He wants you to meet him at Flux, says it's urgent."
She nodded carefully "Alright, tell him I'm on my way."