Author's Note: Man... this chapter seems to have taken forever to write! The title is based off a song that I love and I thought it fit pretty well with this chapter. So.. try to enjoy what I have planned for all of you ^^;

Chapter Eleven: Karma, take me away

I wanted time to just stand still, never to move forward.

I never wanted realisation to hit me like a rock in the face that when tomorrow came around I would be commuting to Kanto for the foreseeable future.

But time didn't drag, nor did it come to a standstill, in fact it quickened to a pace I was never going to get used to.

Before I knew it Gold had left me back in my apartment to go home. When we kissed each other goodbye it really did feel like the last time, and a part of me sunk into a never ending pit of despair.

And now it was the early hours of the morning and once again I could not sleep. My mind was full of uncertainty, full of questions that desperately needed answers.

What was I supposed to do now? It was too late to take any of this back, to try to mend what was broken. I was so uncontrollably in love with that idiot Gold it was hurting me with every moment we were apart, but what could I do?

Nothing.

I had to go to Kanto, I had to keep earning money to keep my apartment, with or without Gold in my life...

I placed my head in my hands, gripping it tightly as I bit my lip.

I should have just told him last night, when he confessed to me... I should have been brave enough to admit it. But I didn't.

And now I was sitting here at 4am in my dingy old apartment thinking about everything I should have said or done, and there was no way out.

Slowly my ears registered a knock at my front door which made me look up immediately.

Was it Gold? No, it couldn't be. He would be home by now, tucked up in his lovely warm bed, sleeping peacefully. Unlike me.

I combed my fingers through my red hair uneasily, hearing the knock at my door yet again.

Well, I couldn't just ignore it.

I stood up, pulling my usual black t-shirt I used to sleep in further down my body self consciously as I left my room. I guess it was out of habit.

Taking a deep breath I picked my apartment keys up from the coffee table and made my way over to the door.

I hoped to God it was either Gold or someone I knew. I didn't fancy having another encounter with Cyan right now.

I pushed the key into the lock and turned, slowly pulling the door open with bated breath.

My eyes were greeted by a flash of blue hair, and narrowed azure eyes glaring right into my soul.

It was Crystal, but why? It was 4am!

She folded her arms as her questioning eyes scanned me from head to toe.

Crap...I was only wearing an old t-shirt and my boxers...

"Are you going to let me in?"

I moved to the side and watched as she stormed past me like the door frame was about to explode.

She was nervous I could tell, but she was trying to hide it.

As I closed the door and turned on my heel I was greeted by that questioning gaze yet again. But she didn't talk. She just watched me, so I decided to break the ice.

"What the hell are you doing knocking on my front door at 4am?!"

Crystal frowned at my question, like it was a pointless thing to ask. Her eyes watched me for a while, she was waiting for me to say something else.

Then she shook her head slowly;

"...I came here to talk to you..."

"Okay, but you could have picked a more sociable hour..."

Crystal sighed in disappointment. Like she expected me to put up more of a fight or something.

"...I know what you are doing to Gold...simply because you can... because he is an idiot for letting you..."

Wait what? I am not doing anything to Gold! We just have an arrangement that is all, unless he has told her a different version of events.

She paused for a moment, staring at me with chilling blue eyes, then diverted her gaze away.

"...I'm asking you to stop this, whatever this is. You're hurting him, and I can't think why you would want to hurt him more than necessary"

I don't dare say a word.

I just continued watching her change of expressions.

Blue eyes continued to delve into the very heart of my soul, like she was hoping I would simply say yes and move on. She was aware of our arrangement then. I didn't want to come across as being mean, but truth be told I needed to have Gold in my life.

Now more than ever.

"Anything else?"

Crystal's face looked hurt for a moment before that hurt turned to annoyance. Then it became nothing but anger.

"Look here Silver...Gold is a mess right now, going on about you leaving to go to Kanto, and that he's in fucking love with you?! How the hell did this even happen?! So... you're going to leave him alone... it's the least you can do for him after everything you have done to him."

Her cheeks were red with fury and I couldn't help but feel sad and defeated inside.

Gold told her everything, even the fact he loved me. He must have gone to Crystal's house straight after he left me.

My eyes trailed downwards to the floor.

"...right. I don't see why you are here though."

"Leave Gold alone... for both of your sakes!" She cried out desperately.

Maybe she saw this as an emotional roller-coaster only headed for disaster, but I didn't. There were ways around this predicament but still, leaving Gold alone forever? Was that what was truly necessary for him to be happy again?

"I am..." I murmured.

Crystal snorted at my remark.

"You are fucking every five minutes!"

"But it's just sex... it doesn't mean anything..." I lie, and lie to myself.

Of course it means something! But I can't tell Crystal that can I? She already thinks I am the bad guy here for messing up Gold's head. What about my head? That's just as messed up.

"Yeah, I understand that was the original plan, but in reality this whole arrangement has turned into a big horrible emotional mess! And you need to leave him alone before things get even worse!"

I knew Crystal was doing this for both of us, yet I couldn't help but hate her a little. I was selfish, I didn't want to let Gold go, not yet, not ever.

"I am not responsible for what goes on in his head Crystal..."

I watched as she paced up and down my living room in annoyance, almost laughing at what I just said.

It was obvious she didn't believe a word of it.

Her eyes diverted everywhere across my room apart from me, the window, the wall, the television set... anywhere but me.

Then she stood still in front of me, sighing.

"...he loves you, you know?"

I looked away, hating this horrible churning feeling in the pits of my stomach.

And I loved him. So much.

Momentarily I closed my eyes, trying to ignore all these emotions that were dragging me down into despair.

"...and I know you care about him too, I just saw it in your eyes..." Crystal remarked.

Maybe it was so obvious not even I could hide it any more?

Slowly I walked to the wall resting the back of my head against it as I released a breath I was holding somewhere deep inside of me. My eyes scanned the ceiling, and the only emotion I felt right now was pain.

Crystal sighed and bowed her head.

"Don't you get it? Gold really cares about you, and all you are doing is stamping on him like he doesn't mean anything. You guys don't even have a friendship any more. When you two first met... Gold fought so hard to get you to be his friend. He would never give up, even if I told him countless times to. You were worth fighting for in his eyes. He was so determined, so patient and so stubborn with getting you to open up to him. I'm not judging you for ending your friendship, but you can't kill it with what you are doing now!"

All throughout this my voice wouldn't work, like if I even tried to speak the words would become a tangled mess in my throat.

It was useless.

But she was right.

Gold did fight for our friendship when we were kids. I was hard work, and Gold never gave up, and now she wanted me to give up on him so that he could move on, and be happy? Did I deserve to give him that at least?

My eyes continued to scan the ceiling as Crystal's hands held my arms gently.

"Silver, what is going on inside that head of yours? I got the whole fighting thing, and even the whole avoiding thing. Even the slip ups and the fucking agreement to some degree. But you have an alternative now to save you both from this pain. I can see that you are not happy with this either..."

She wanted me to admit that she was right, she wanted me to agree to this.

But what was the point? I was leaving for Kanto this afternoon, so the likeliness of this arrangement still working even though we were both in different regions was pretty slim.

I sighed.

"I don't know what you are talking about, everything was fine until people started interfering..."

I wasn't aiming it her, even though she probably thought I was.

No, I was talking about Cyan. Ever since I first met him he followed my every move, knew almost everything about me, and now was aware of the fact I loved Gold.

Crystal looked sad as I finally managed to look into her eyes.

"Fair enough. I don't care what you do, and you can continue tricking yourself into thinking things are fine for the rest of your life. But, leave Gold out of your problems. He doesn't need any of this."

I frowned.

Did Gold even know Crystal was here trying to get me to back off? I bet he didn't, and she just did this to try to play the role of supportive best friend.

I folded my arms, brushing her hands off me.

"Gold may be stupid but he knows how to say no, and he knows when to quit. If he was so upset about this whole thing he could've have told me to my face instead of sending you round here like a lapdog..."

Her blue eyes widened considerably as those words stung her ears.

Okay, lapdog might have been a bit harsh.

"Are you telling me there is nothing wrong with what you two are doing to each other?"

I rolled my eyes, not wishing to have this conversation at 4am in the morning. I should have at least attempted going back to sleep, even if it would have royally failed.

"We have sex, that is all it is. No emotions, no feelings, no nothing. I know to you that might be a little weird, or even fucked up, but it's none of your business..."

"Don't you even think about throwing the homophobe card in my face! You are the most homophobic person I have ever met in my entire life!" She cursed at me, wagging a finger dangerously in my face.

I shrugged.

I was over that. I was over that the minute I realised I loved Gold, so why was I keeping that important bit of information to myself? Should I tell her about it?

"That doesn't bother me any more... I accepted it... I accepted it the minute I..."

I stopped, not wanting to continue.

Crystal looked into my eyes expectantly, wanting me to continue.

But I didn't. I just went quiet.

"You accepted it the minute what... Silver?" She pursued and I felt my heart rattle angrily inside my chest.

Why couldn't I just be honest and tell her? Was it so hard to just tell her that I was in love with Gold? Was it so hard to admit that I needed him in my life?

I swallowed hard, feeling my throat tighten up like I couldn't breathe any more.

I love him... so much...

"...I love him!" I blurted out.

Crystal's eyes widened and then something weird happened.

I just started crying, I didn't want to but I couldn't help it.

Gold... was so important to me...and yet I would have to put all that aside just so he could be happy.

"...you love... him?" She repeated, and slowly I nodded.

I closed my eyes, trying to fight off these horrible tears that continued to fall down my face.

Usually I never cry over anything.

Last time I cried over something was when my dad started to beat me...so it had been ten years since the last time I have cried...

Then I felt Crystal wrap her arms around me, cuddling me.

Normally I would have pushed her away, or made some horrible comment.

Not this time.

I just broke down, hating feeling so weak and pathetic.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt the same way?" She soothed, her voice sounding calm now.

I clung to the blue haired girl like she was a lifeline.

What else did I have right now?

As the tears fell down my face I tried my best to tell her my reasons.

"...it's complicated..."

"How so? I would have thought the most complicated part of all this was being able to admit to yourself that you loved him..."

That was also true. It took a while for me to realise that when I was with Gold in a weird yet wonderful way I was happy, genuinely happy.

I also knew that if Gold wasn't around any more... that happiness would fade away.

I sniffled.

"It was...but now things are even more complicated..."

I felt her small hands rub small circles on my back as I tried so hard to stop crying.

Why was I even crying? Was it because I was going to Kanto? Was it because I knew that if I let Gold go it would be for the best? Or was it because I was scared?

"Tell me Silver..." Crystal murmured quietly.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.

I needed to tell her all about Cyan, about his psychotic tendencies and how Gold might be in danger if he stayed with me.

"A few days ago... I battled this kid...and as usual I said some really nasty things...I just thought nothing would come of it, but I was wrong. Then...I find out that I am working with his older brother... Cyan... who seemed okay at the time...that was until he somehow found out it was me who hurt his baby brother..."

I pulled away from the embrace, watching as Crystal looked deeply into my watery eyes.

"...then what happened?"

I cleared my throat.

"...it turns out his brother tried to kill himself over what I had said... and Cyan went crazy. He's been stalking me and watching every move I have made...it's really creepy. But, last night...Gold and I were going to get a pizza... and we bumped into Cyan...he goes mental, saying he knows it was me who hurt his brother and that he is going to destroy everything I love..."

I watched as Crystal gasped.

Now she understood why I was getting so upset over this whole situation.

I never wanted to drag Gold into my problems. That was never my intention.

"...and that means Gold, right?"

I nodded.

"Yes...Gold basically told Cyan he loved me...and I could see that glimmer in his eyes that he might target Gold to get at me. I don't want that..."

My eyes trailed downwards to the floor as my heart felt like it was made of stone. All because of my own stupid actions I had caused my own downfall.

"All the more reason to let Gold go while you still can..." Crystal encouraged and I knew she was right.

As much as I hated it, and I didn't want to let Gold go I knew I had to. His welfare was far too important to me, not that I would ever tell him that though...

I wiped my face and sniffled, relieved that the tears had finally stopped.

"I... can't..."

"You haven't even tried to..."

"I can't!" I cried out pathetically, making Crystal jump in shock.

I ran my fingers through my messed up red hair, biting my lip hard.

I needed him...without him I was nothing...

"...Silver..." She murmured sadly, placing a hand on my arm.

As her fingers rubbed my bare arm slowly her soothing voice lulled me.

"...if you love Gold... you can let go..."

It wasn't that simple.

In my head Gold was the only constant thing in my life, like time. If time came to a standstill nothing would work any more, everything would stop... and that would happen to me. My life would come to a standstill...unable to cope with anything any more.

"...you need to see Gold one last time and tell him that you can't continue this arrangement any more..."

"I can't see him... no way..." I mumbled, knowing if I did I would probably die more and more inside until there was nothing left.

Crystal nodded weakly and continued to rub my arm affectionately.

"...I know this is hard for you Silver..."

"You have no idea how this feels..."

Crystal lived this amazing life, yeah okay her parents were getting divorced, but she was lucky. Lucky that she was so naïve not to fall in love with a complete and utter idiot.

Unlike me.

So she had no idea what it felt like.

"But... if you stay with him... and continue this arrangement what if Cyan hurts him? Won't you feel guilty about it? Regret your decisions?"

I rolled my eyes.

I already regretted my decision when I said those horrible things to his brother.

"...don't you think I know that?" I snapped, not meaning to.

Crystal moved her hand away and sighed softly.

"Talk to Gold... tell him all this, and he might see sense..."

I chuckled quietly.

Gold and sense in the same sentence? Please...

"He doesn't want me to go to Kanto, he has already made his feelings quite clear... so if I turn around and tell him I don't want to see him again...it will hurt him..."

Crystal looked up at me with large azure eyes that sparkled in sadness.

"...but being with him will hurt him too..."

It was a no win situation.

He would get hurt regardless of the outcome, so I had no choice.

I would have to see Gold one last time and make sure that I ended this arrangement, even though I honestly didn't want to. Just thinking about it was causing my heart to slowly tear itself apart. Why was life so cruel?

Before Crystal left she mentioned about Gold's birthday being only a week away, and that she understood if I didn't turn up to the venue.

Like I could anyway! I would be in Kanto, working no doubt. And it wasn't like anyone expected me to show up. Since when did I become the life and soul of any party?

When she left I allowed myself time to steady my nerves and try to understand all the information.

I had to do this, for myself and for Gold, as much as I didn't want to.

So when I finally mustered the courage I phoned him.

Once again I was greeted with the usual 'prank call' voice, this time it was something along the lines of 'Asylum Seeker's Refuge'.

Like I should have been shocked about that?

But, still I managed to persuade Gold to meet me by the bridge that linked Goldenrod and the next town even though it was still early in the morning.

I half expected him to groan about it, or make up some sort of excuse, but he didn't. It was like he wanted to see me.

And now I had to fight the battle in my head.

Should I cut Gold loose from my problems? Was that what he needed?

I got dressed in my usual black attire, packed a few items of clothing into a rucksack, and tried to at least flatten my hair. Usually it never listened to me anyway, and would just stick up in odd directions or become frizzy for no good reason.

Still, why was I concerned over my appearance? It wasn't a date, it was to tell Gold I couldn't see him any more. I was going to Kanto, and that was that.

I frowned at my reflection in the mirror.

Since when did I become so ill?

My skin was so pale it was almost transparent, my eyes were so dull and grey they could be mistaken for a zombie or something, and a few spots had erupted on my forehead.

Great...just what I needed.

Sighing to myself I decided that I needed to do this.

Crystal was right, Gold was in danger if he spent any more time with me, especially with Cyan sniffing around. I owed him that much at least.

If I loved him I could let go...

Taking a deep breath I quickly left my apartment, wanting to get this all over and done with as soon as possible.

The journey towards the bridge was a drag, in fact it felt like I had been walking forever.

Maybe it was all in my head? After all... the bridge wasn't that far away from my apartment block.

I wished it was a million miles away just so it would prevent this from happening just for a few seconds or minutes longer.

I didn't want to see the look of hurt on his face when I told him, I didn't want to see him get upset or cry over it. That was something I would never forgive myself for.

But still... this was my mess and I needed to sort it out, even if it meant hurting the one person who had always been there for me throughout my life.

Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind in life.

In annoyance I kicked a stone into the gutter as I gripped the straps of my rucksack tightly, feeling the cool summer breeze waft through my hair. The sun was starting to rise high in sky, illuminating the soft white fluffy clouds that passed by.

Why did it have to be such a lovely day?

Sighing to myself I watched the bridge come into view as I walked closer.

No-one was there so I was early, which probably wasn't the greatest option in the world.

Being alone with my own thoughts for company was just blatant suicide right now. I might even think my way out of doing this somehow, trying to find a way out of this mess, to try to sort it out without losing or hurting Gold.

As I walked up to the bridge and leant against the railing I sighed in defeat.

It was useless.

This whole scenario was nothing more than a game to Cyan, a twisted game of chess, and Gold and I were nothing but pawns. Soon it was going to be checkmate, and game over for both of us...

"Silver!"

I swiftly turned around feeling my heart sink like a wounded battleship at sea as my eyes met a pair of amber ones, and a crazy grinning face.

It was Gold, as happy and as stupid as usual.

And I was going to destroy all of that within a few minutes...

I nodded weakly, watching as the dark haired boy bounced up to me happily.

"...wow... you don't look well at all..." He commented quietly, as if he was trying to spare my feelings.

I shrugged, not caring about myself right now. I knew I looked hideous, tell me something knew.

"...I'll deal with it..."

Gold raised an eyebrow at me as he stood beside me.

"Why did you want to see me so urgently?"

I felt a lump congeal in my throat, making it harder for me to breathe.

Why did I actually want to see him? Was it because I wanted to hear his voice, or see his face again? Or did I really want to break him apart?

He watched me expectantly, edging me to talk to him, but every time I tried I couldn't muster the courage to say the words.

When did I become this weak, pathetic person?

I looked at the ground in sadness, gripping my hands on the railing tightly, frightened that if I let go I might just collapse in a heap on the floor.

"...Silver?"

I felt Gold's hand on my shoulder and once again I tensed up.

How could I allow this to happen? If I let Gold keep touching me, to keep feeling sorry for me there was no way he could move on from this.

I bit my lip hard, knowing that I would draw blood if I wasn't careful.

"...I can't..."

"You can't what... Silver?" Gold pursued.

I hated myself for this.

I hated how I couldn't just come out with what I wanted to say. Usually being horrible to anyone came as natural to me as breathing, but not any more. He had crawled so deep underneath my skin I didn't want him to not be there.

Things would not be right.

Leaning on the railing with my head on my arms I sighed.

"... I can't do this... any more..."

"Do what?"

I raised my eyes to his concerned face.

"This!"

I emphasised by waving my hand around at both of us, and then the penny dropped.

His expression changed from concerned to saddened in a matter of seconds.

Please... don't look at me like that...

"Why not? What's changed? I thought... this was what you wanted?"

"It was..." I mumbled, keeping my eyes focused ahead of me, trying to ignore those amber eyes that were burning into my very soul.

"...I don't understand...I love you Silver..." Gold murmured, and I could hear his voice breaking.

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes tightly as my throat seemed to just close up, stopping me from breathing.

Just breathe! You have to do this! You have to...

"...we can't do this any more..."

I could feel my eyes begin to sting and I knew that I wanted to cry, to let it all out, but I couldn't. This was bad enough without me breaking down.

I pressed my forehead against my arms again when his voice entered my ears.

"Is this about that Cyan guy? If it is... we can get through this!"

I felt Gold's hand hold onto my arm desperately, trying to find a way to sort this mess out, but this was for the best.

Crystal was right, I was infecting him, poisoning him and dragging him into my mess. He didn't deserve this.

As my heart continued to hurt with every beat I swallowed hard.

"...if you are with me... he will hurt you..."

"I don't care! I don't care...as long as I'm with you..."

His voice went quiet, like he was trying to keep it all together.

Still, I kept my eyes closed, trying to breathe.

It was so hard... I knew this was hurting Gold... and hurting me too. He wouldn't let this go as easily as I would have liked.

"...you know that can't happen..." I murmured.

Suddenly my body was being pulled off the railing to turn to face the dark haired boy. His eyes were clouded over with tears as his bottom lip quivered ever so slightly.

"But it can! Together we can get through anything! You know that as much as I do!"

I shook my head weakly, hating how he was looking at me.

Please... don't look at me like that Gold...

"...I have to sort this out Gold... and this shit is happening because of what I did! I won't drag you into it..."

His hands held my arms gently, and I felt his body trembling under the pressure.

He was breaking, and I was witnessing it all.

My eyes diverted to the ground, unable to keep eye contact with him any more.

It was killing me...

"...you know I won't give up on you... I won't give up!" He cried out.

I looked at his face momentarily, just enough time to witness tears fall down his face.

And now it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest.

Gold would never give up, I knew that... even if I walked away he would probably follow me to Kanto and back. But, I couldn't let him do that. He was in danger if he was with me, Cyan would target him and then I could never forgive myself.

No, I had to do something.

"...what if I want you to give up on me?" I muttered quietly.

Gold shook his head desperately as more tears fell down his tanned cheeks. Inhaling deeply he tried to steady his wavering voice.

"...no...I can't do that... I love you!"

His hands tightened their grip on my arms as he leant his head against my chest.

I felt his body convulse, and his chest heave painfully with every breath he took.

Why was I doing this to him? To the one person who I genuinely loved? Yes... I knew why I had to do this.. because I did love him, and I needed to cut him loose from me and my poisonous life.

"...I'm going to Kanto Gold... and you can't stop me..."

His hands moved so he was now holding me tightly in a vice-grip hug, and refused to let me go. I could hear the sniffles from his nose, and the slight hiccup in his voice.

"...then I'm coming too..."

"No! You need to stay here!"

He shook his head against my chest.

"... I don't care... I'm not leaving you..."

I sighed softly, nuzzling into his mop of dark hair, inhaling the scent of shampoo, strawberry shampoo I might add.

"...don't be an idiot for once Gold..."

"You're the idiot for running away... thinking it will solve everything. The problems will still be here when you come back..."

And he was right, but who said I was coming back?

What if I liked being in Kanto? I would be away from Cyan, away from the guilt he caused me, and I could start a new life. I knew people over there too, like Blue... she was still in Kanto somewhere and I hadn't seen her for a long time.

There were still options.

"...I won't be coming back..."

Gold pulled away forcefully from the embrace to look into my eyes.

His were sparkling in sadness as fresh tears dribbled down his cheeks. He bit his lip, trying not to cry out in agony.

I frowned, not at him but at myself.

Why was I doing this? I was being so horrible to Gold, but I had to. He would follow me to Kanto... I knew that, unless I made it obvious that I didn't want him around. Maybe I needed to lie to Gold...

"W-what? B-but... you can't! You can't...l-leave forever! I won't let you... I can't..."

"There is nothing you can do or say that will change my mind..." I remarked coldly, hating myself for it.

Gold's countenance just became a crumpled mess in front of me as he wiped his face on one of his hands.

"...I'm still coming with you..."

"No you're not!"

I watched as he just looked at me and I sighed.

You have to be cruel to be kind... cruel to be kind...

"...I don't want you to!" I spat vehemently.

His eyes widened as his lip quivered yet again.

"...w-what? But... I thought you..."

"Thought I what? You thought that I loved you? Just because we fuck occasionally doesn't mean I am the fucking love of your life!"

I hated myself so much for doing this, but I had to, even if it was all bullshit.

I loved Gold so fucking much! But he needed to think I didn't, he needed to hate me, or dislike me so then he would back off and have a chance to live a normal healthy life. Without me infecting it.

Once again his face crumbled.

"...but... I love you..."

"I don't care, loving me is just a waste of time because you know that I wont ever love you... no matter how fucking good you might be in bed"

With every horrible word I said I could feel myself dying more and more inside.

It was horrible, watching Gold fall to pieces right in front of me, to witness his heart breaking at the seams. It was all my fault...karma was biting my ass so hard right now...

"...I..." He mumbled, not quite knowing what to say as sorrowful amber eyes looked at the ground.

I bit my tongue, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to form.

Keep it together...keep it together...

"...just leave me alone Gold..."

And with that said I pushed past him, trying to escape this scenario.

I headed towards the Magnet train station, the only transportation that we had to get us to Kanto in the quickest time.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath only to be caught off guard yet again.

Gold had grabbed my wrist, and refused to let go.

"...I know you feel something for me... somewhere down in that cold un-beating heart..."

I looked at the ground, hating yet loving the warmth of his fingers against my skin. I would miss that.

"We were just a sex arrangement Gold, and that was all it was ever going to be..."

"...you're wrong. It might have been that at the beginning... and yeah it probably was for both of us... but not now...now I know that I can't imagine living in a world without you! I don't want to be in a world without you Silver... no matter how bad our lives would get.. or if we were constantly on the run from the police...none of that matters to me..."

I turned to look at the dark haired boy.

His tears had dried on his tanned cheeks, but his eyes were still sparkling and he sniffled every now and then.

I could feel my heart decay inside my chest, pulsating poison through my veins. My throat tightened up, feeling as if I couldn't breathe.

"...stop making this difficult..." I murmured quietly.

"How am I making things difficult? I am offering you an alternative here... stay with me and forget about Cyan... forget about everything...please..."

I hated hearing him beg like that, it just wasn't him.

Gold was usually a joker, a person who would laugh at nothing and never take anything too serious. Now he was so serious it wasn't him any more. Did I really mean that much to this idiot?

"...let me go Gold..." I murmured quietly.

He desperately shook his head.

"...no... I won't... I can't let you go..."

I tugged slightly trying to get the dark haired boy to loosen his grip but it failed. He was determined, and I didn't want to fight him off me.

This was so hard... seeing those eyes... hearing his voice... I just wanted Karma to take me away... I deserved it.

"...how many more times do I have to tell you? I DON'T LOVE YOU!" I literally screamed at him, watching his eyes widen in shock.

Please... hate me Gold... dislike me... run away... anything... just don't stay here...

"Silver..."

"Now, if you don't mind I have a train to catch..."

With one swift motion I yanked my arm out of his grasp, watching as his hand fell limply by his sides and his eyes clouded with tears again.

I was causing this... but I had no choice. I needed to keep Gold safe, and if he was with me he would always be in danger.

Adjusting my rucksack on my shoulders I turned away from the love of my life and started to walk away.

With every step my heart ached, yearning to be with him, to just turn around and ignore everything.

But I couldn't.

For once in my stupid life I was going to make the right decision, I was going to make things right for Gold. Without me infecting his life he would move on and be happy again, Crystal would make sure of that.

As the wind tousled my hair I heard Gold's voice behind me.

"...I'll wait for you..."

And as the train station came into view I smiled to myself.

No... he wouldn't wait for me because I wasn't coming back. I would live a whole new life in Kanto, I would arrange for someone to pick up the rest of my stuff from my apartment and find somewhere new to love, hang around with new people, work in a new department store...without Gold.

I clenched my hand into a fist, feeling a single tear dribble down my face as I walked further away from Gold, further away from the only person I have ever truly loved.

As my eyes diverted to my old department store I saw Cyan behind the counter, serving an old lady... then cold and evil azure eyes burned right into my soul, and a Devil's grin smothered his face.

Yes... he had won this game right now... he had given me no other choice...

I had to do this... for us... for Gold...

Author's Note: :'(... tissues much? Poor Gold and Silver! What will happen to them and will Silver ever come back from Kanto? Find out in the next instalment. Please read and review! :) It would make a little girl very happy face ^^