Author's Note: Hello everyone! Ah, another slightly quick update! Last chapter was so incredibly sad! D: Even I got sad T_T but this one might be a little better :) enjoy!
Chapter Twelve: As you go
It was now I realised why I hated trains so much.
Being stuck on a platform for seemingly hours, and crushed up against people who obviously didn't own a bath or shower, or literally poured cologne over themselves. It was my idea of hell. But still, there was no turning back now.
The Magnet train would be arriving soon, approximately ten minutes according to the overhead digital sign.
Sighing to myself I moved to sit down on a bench, removing my rucksack from my aching shoulders.
So this was it, I was going to Kanto to start a new life, to forget about everything, to erase Gold from my life and to try to move on.
Yeah, like that would happen.
It wasn't like I could just delete him like a file on a computer, it wasn't like I could right click on my recycle bin and remove him from my mind forever. Things just were not that simple.
Feeling a slight ache in my heart, and wanting to talk to something I pulled out a Pokeball from my pocket.
I released my Sneasel, who just looked up at me expectantly, usually she only came out when there were battles to be won, not just for my own selfish needs. But right now I just wanted some-one to talk to, some-one to cuddle and to not feel like I was drowning in my own self inflicted misery.
I smiled at her awkwardly, watching as she clambered up on the seat beside me, large eyes looking directly at me, it was as if she wanted to know why I was hurting.
Could she feel it?
"...am I doing the right thing? If I leave Gold alone... will it be the right thing to do?" I asked her in a quiet voice, sighing under my breath.
She frowned and gently nuzzled against my arm.
At least I still had my Pokemon in my life, but somewhere deep inside my iced over heart Gold had sparked a fire that was slowly melting it all away. But now he would be gone, so that ice would take over once again.
I placed my head in my hands, feeling my throat burn as tears stung my eyes once again.
No, I didn't want to cry any more... I was done feeling so shit about this, I didn't want to feel this pain any more.
I felt Sneasel's claw gently rub my arm in comfort, and for that moment I was glad she was here.
Sneasel's personality was usually as cold as my own, probably because she had always witnessed me being horrible to others so she used to do it herself, but now she was showing a sensitive side no-one else ever saw. It was a rare occurrence, but maybe, just like myself she was mellowing too.
But luckily for her she had never felt love, or had any experience in the matter so right now she had no idea how I was feeling.
I glanced up at the digital sign that hung on the wall, indicating when the train would arrive and all the stops along the journey before it would reach it's main destination of Saffron City in Kanto.
Combing my fingers through my hair I wondered what it would be like in Kanto, to work there with new people, to be around others who had different accent's and to experience a different climate.
Johto was usually warmer in Summer than Kanto, so I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. My skin never reacted well with sunlight or heat, but then again I despised the cold too.
Guess my body was just weird.
"Snee!" Sneasel called out, pointing through the crowd, seemingly excited for some reason.
I glanced at the direction she was pointing to only to feel my heart die a little inside.
A mass of dark hair wondered past the coffee stand, heading towards me.
Was it him? Was it... Gold?
I wanted to stand up, to get a better view, but why bother?
If Gold had followed me then I would just have to tell him again to leave me alone. It wasn't like this arrangement could work after all.
Still, I would be lying if seeing that mass of dark hair didn't cause my heart to swell in my chest.
As my eyes followed the one who owned the black hair I wanted him to come closer so I could find out for definite if it was Gold, or just some-one who had a similar haircut.
But no such luck it seemed.
"The next train approaching is the 8:30 Magnet Train service to Saffron City" I heard the blaring mechanical voice over erupt in my ear canal and I winced.
Ten minutes had gone by so fast! But still, I had to get on this train and quickly if I wanted to sit down for the journey.
Slowly I grabbed my rucksack and placed it on my back, still aimlessly looking around for the dark haired stranger.
It seemed he had given up the ghost and left.
I frowned, feeling Sneasel clamber onto my rucksack.
What if that was Gold? Did he want to find me to stop me? Or did he just give up?
Sighing to myself I watched as the train pulled into the station, coming to an abrupt halt.
As the large doors swung open I was almost trampled on by the stampede of people trying to get on board. It was like being attacked by a herd of angry Tauros.
Helplessly Sneasel clung to my rucksack with her claws to avoid being swept away in the crowd as I managed to get on board the train.
To my dismay most of the seats were already taken, and immediately I cursed under my breath.
Standing the whole way wasn't something I had in mind.
Re-adjusting the straps of my rucksack on my back I walked down the train, trying to find a seat, but most of them were taken.
Some of them weren't even filled by people, some were filled by shopping bags, or just overly large people who had to take up two seats.
I combed my fingers through my hair, trying to suppress a groan that threatened to escape my lips.
Why did I want to do this again?
"Sneasel!" She called out, once again pointing a little further down the train.
I followed her direction, wondering what had caught her interest, but soon enough I discovered the reason.
There was a seat next to a young male, who was reading a newspaper.
Thank God Sneasel was so observant.
Silently thanking the ice type Pokemon I shuffled into the seat and removed my rucksack, now inhaling the scent of very strong cologne.
It must have been radiating off the guy sitting beside me. But still, it wasn't a horrible smell, just strong, like he literally bathed in it.
I rested my head back against the seat, pulling Sneasel into my lap as the train started it's long journey to the Kanto region.
My eyes slowly flickered across to the guy sitting beside me.
I noticed long spiked brown hair erupting from the newspaper that he was reading, and the fact he wore a high collared black shirt.
Deep inside I had a feeling I recognised this boy, but I wasn't sure where from.
Instead of wanting to start off a conversation I just relaxed in my seat, holding Sneasel comfortably in my arms and feeling the soft movements of the train.
"...wow...a tournament in Goldenrod City, and the main guest is Champion Red?! This is quite the read..." The guy mused quietly as he turned the page of his newspaper.
It was now I noticed the thick accent that laced his voice. He was most definitely from Kanto, like Red, only Red's accent was softer and less noticeable.
"...it's weird if you talk to yourself, you know?" I mocked, hearing Sneasel giggle.
The guy with the wild spiked hair pulled the newspaper down to look at me.
It was now I noticed narrow emerald green eyes staring at me with annoyance, and now the gears of my mind started to piece together just who this was.
But, it seemed he knew who I was too.
"Silver? You are Silver... right?"
I blinked, almost falling off my seat.
Was I that memorable? Then again with this hair colour was it that surprising?
Now, I know I only have eyes for Gold, but still... this guy was so beautiful it was just unreal. Like most girls would be jealous of how beautiful he was.
He had perfectly shaped emerald green eyes that just seemed to melt your soul every time he looked at you, absolutely flawless skin with no blemishes or spots, or any other imperfections, and hair that should have been used in a hairspray commercial or something.
It took me a while to even say anything.
"...y-yeah? I am, and what of it?"
The emerald eyed boy raised an eyebrow at me, and then back to the newspaper he was reading.
"Did you know your ugly mug is in the newspaper?"
I felt my eyes widen as the realisation hit me.
Of course! Violet took that photograph of me and Gold yesterday, and she did say we would be in the newspaper.
Hastily I snatched it out his hands, as Sneasel moved slightly so the paper wouldn't smack her in the face.
And he was right.
The photograph stared back at me, of Gold having his arm around me smiling that stupid smile, and me being my usual grumpy self.
"Hey! What the hell?! You can't just go around snatching other people's property!" He growled, trying to snatch the newspaper back, but right now I wouldn't let him.
I wanted to read about what Violet had written.
'Trainers Gold and Silver, who intervened when unruly bystander tried to assault our reporter' that was the caption underneath the photograph, and I would be telling a lie if I didn't feel my ego swell right now.
But I also felt sad.
Seeing Gold's face in the newspaper was making me miss him already, even though I was the one who literally watched him break in front of me.
I didn't deserve to miss him.
I sighed, swiftly pushing the crumpled paper back into the emerald eyed boy's face.
"...stupid Gold..." I mumbled to myself, pulling Sneasel back into my lap as I nuzzled the top of her head.
"...Gold... Gold... ah yes! The guy who challenged Red on Mt Silver?"
Is that what he would always be known for? For challenging the magnificent Red? Red wasn't even that great, and his personality was so boring I would have preferred talking to a brick wall. I might have got more conversation out of it.
I sighed.
"...I wish everyone would stop talking about that guy... he's not even that great... he's the most uninteresting person I have ever met..."
"HEY! Don't talk about Red like that!" The boy growled in defence, now deciding to read the remaining pages of the newspaper.
Oh great, another one of Red's many fans, just what I needed. But still, this guy seemed vaguely familiar.
"I have to work with him!" I defended, watching as emerald eyes burrowed deep into my soul.
The boy shook his head.
"...and I have known him almost all his life... so shut the fuck up before I make you myself"
His voice was threatening, and now I was sure this guy wasn't just some follower, or a fan. He must be a friend or something, maybe even a relative.
Sneasel relaxed in my arms so I assumed she had drifted off to sleep.
"And who the hell are you anyway?"
The boy closed the newspaper loudly, placing it down on his lap.
His eyes were closed momentarily before he looked at me again.
"I am Green... the only person who can seem to smack any sense into Red"
Now it made sense.
Red did speak of Green, claiming that it was him that suggested getting a job and to stop hiding away on Mt Silver. In my opinion he should have stayed there.
"...so why are you going back to Kanto if you live there?" I questioned, not even knowing why.
Why the hell did I even care?
Green smiled, allowing his whole face to lighten up like he was the only light source in the room.
"I went to see him before the tournament... to offer some support and to see how he was getting on at his new job..."
So was Green his best friend or something? I mean I had a best friend once, and nowadays I didn't even know if she was still alive. I guess I was just that sort of person. Maybe Green liked to make sure his friends were alive and well, unlike me...
I slowly patted Sneasel's head as I spoke.
"...so are you like the supportive best friend that would do anything for him?"
Green chuckled.
Okay, maybe I was wrong?
"...something like that I suppose..."
"So I repeat, why are you going back to Kanto when you can just stay with Red for a while?"
I watched Green's expression.
He seemed a little disheartened about what I just said, and I had no idea why. It was quite simple to just decide to stay there for a while, not like anyone had anything important to do nowadays.
He sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"... I have my own job to do, things just aren't that simple."
"Try being in my shoes, then you will know what it feels like for things not to be simple..." I groaned, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me.
I really missed Gold. I missed kissing his soft lips, feeling his arms around me, and hearing his stupid laugh. That was just something I needed to get used to.
"So, why are you going to Kanto?" Green asked me.
I sighed, not really wanting to tell him the whole version of events.
I guess I could just simplify everything, couldn't I?
Suddenly before I had a chance to even open my mouth a terrible ringtone emitted from Green's Pokegear.
Saved by the bell... or in this case by the phone.
Green sighed.
"Excuse me while I take this call..."
I shrugged, holding Sneasel comfortably in my arms, feeling the soft rise and fall of her chest as she slept.
Green swiftly answered the device, his face expressing annoyance.
"Hello?"
There was a pause.
"...ah hello! What...? He hasn't turned up? Well... wait half an hour, after all he isn't due into work until 9:30. Yes, yes I know..."
I wondered who he was talking about, and more importantly who he was talking to.
Maybe a girlfriend or something, or a work colleague. Did Green even have a job? Well, he did mention something along the lines of that...
I watched him as he sighed, like he was being dictated to.
"...alright I will go through the health and safety procedures and show him around the place. I swear you worry too much Blue..."
My eyes widened as that last word escaped his lips.
Did I hear that right?! Blue?! He was talking to my old best friend Blue? No way...
A part of me wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice again, but another part didn't want to.
Maybe because I was worried she would totally flip out on me for basically ignoring her for almost two years.
"...yes, I know. I have some stuff to do beforehand though so I might come in around lunch time..."
The conversation continued while I listened in, hating myself for being so nosey.
But I had to.
He was talking to Blue, so that meant they knew each other.
Another thought hit me.
SHIT! What if Blue was Green's girlfriend?! Oh hell no! That... just...no! Blue had better standards, didn't she?
I looked at the floor, feeling the steady movement of the train.
"...alright see you later. Bye"
And with that said he hung up.
I watched as he sighed and leaned back in his seat, eyes flickering up to the ceiling.
"Trouble?" I enquired curiously, wanting to know more about this, like how the hell did he know my Blue? Well... she wasn't mine... but you know what I mean!
"...not really, just a complication, nothing I can't handle"
I frowned, wondering if Green noticed.
How dare he call Blue a complication!
Chewing my lip I responded.
"... I never realised you knew Blue"
Green's eyes wondered to my face, and slowly I watched a smirk creep upon those perfect features.
I was so fucking jealous right now.
"Of course I know Blue! We have been friend's for years!"
At that point I felt a part of me die inside.
Blue had replaced me with him? Green was nowhere near as good as me! Well, okay he might be better looking and have a lot of charm, but he wouldn't stick up for her and protect her like I would.
Subconsciously I cuddled Sneasel closer, wanting to have some form of comfort right now.
"...oh..." I murmured.
"...do you know Blue too? Or do you two have some kind of history?"
I turned to face him, and watched as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
My mouth gaped open in shock.
WHAT?! Me and Blue?! No fucking way!
"W-what?! NO! NEVER!"
"Alright, chill out! It was only a thought, I never actually said you did... " Green said in defence, holding his hands up, still wearing that stupid smirk on his face.
A growl erupted from my throat as I shuffled in my seat to turn away from the boy with the wild hair.
"...Blue was like my sister you moron..."
"Was...? Why isn't she now?" Green enquired, and to be honest I didn't want to tell him my fucking life story.
"...does it matter?" I shot back, glaring at the emerald eyed boy.
He just shrugged , resting his arms behind his head.
"Not really, can't say I am that interested in your social life, or rather lack of it..."
At that moment I seriously wanted to punch him, but I just didn't have the energy.
So what if Green and Blue were more than friends, why should I interfere? It was none of my business. Maybe I was just feeling down about leaving Gold. I missed him so much...
Sighing to myself I rested my chin on Sneasel's head.
"...seems to me like you have problems yourself..." Green commented quietly, his voice sounding like he actually cared.
Maybe he was just toying with me, yeah that was the most likely explanation.
"...so what if I do, it has nothing to do with you..."
"Well...whatever... but it must be something bad if you are running away to Kanto"
I closed my eyes momentarily before cursing under my breath.
"I am not running away!"
I heard Green chuckle, which made me turn to face him.
Did he even care about anything?
"...whatever helps you sleep at night..."
I really wanted this train journey to end now just so I could go to work, sort out my living arrangements and expenses, and move on with my life.
I didn't need this shit right now.
Now I wanted to take back what I said about Red. At least Red didn't talk much.
"Are you staying permanently there?" Green continued to bombard me with questions, like he was interrogating me for a crime I didn't commit.
I gritted my teeth, starting to get annoyed.
"...so what if I am?"
"Well... do you even know where you are staying?"
No I didn't, but I could sort that out when I needed to.
For a couple of night's I could just bunk at the Pokemon Centre. It was no big deal. And besides... why the fuck was Green concerned about where I was staying?
I shook my head to his question, and watched as he sighed in disappointment.
"...what is it about you teenagers who never think about the more important things?"
"Shut the hell up Green...I didn't ask for your opinion" I shot back angrily, watching the older boy back away.
At least he had sense.
His eyes narrowed at me before he sighed yet again.
"Believe it or not I am trying to help you...but obviously you are too bullheaded to even see that."
Bull headed? What did that even mean? And I didn't need his help! I could survive on my own, I always did before so what changed now?
Scowling I replied;
"I am fine by myself..."
"Who are you trying to lie to? Me... or yourself?"
His voice softened, allowing that Kanto accent to dance off his tongue.
Luckily for me I understood him quite well, maybe that was because I had been around Red...
"...I am fine!" I repeated, louder this time.
Green rolled his eyes and started to gaze out of the window.
"Alright then, don't say I didn't offer."
"I wont..."
Grunting to myself I felt Sneasel shuffle in my lap.
She was waking up from her power nap.
"Sneee~" She cooed softly, stretching out her clawed limbs, causing Green to watch her intently.
Had he never seen a Sneasel before?
"...are you only horrible to people?" He asked quietly, watching the ice type as she happily nuzzled against me.
I furrowed my brow in annoyance.
I wasn't horrible! Well... I could be... but I didn't like people interfering in my life. Lately that was all that kept happening.
"...some people..." I replied.
Green smiled softly.
"You know if you just stop being so quick to temper and relax a little... you might find that more people would like you"
I snorted at his remark as I gently patted Sneasel's head.
I didn't want people to like me. The only person who I cared about was now gone, and I had broken his heart so willingly. I was truly a bad person.
"..I don't care..."
"...and you never know, you might even grow to love some-one..."
He chuckled after his words, causing me to glare at him.
He didn't even know the first thing about me, or how I felt! Yes, I knew what love felt like! I hated it! All it managed to do was make me feel like shit, go weak at the knees and cause my personality to alter completely. Love wasn't something I liked right now.
"...and I bet some-one like you has never been in love either..." I mumbled.
I heard Green sigh, and it was deep and meaningful.
Was he in love with Blue? Oh tell me he wasn't... please!
"Actually... I have believe it or not..." Green mused softly, emerald eyes gazing into mine before looking away.
His voice sounded pained and it made me wonder if he felt what I did?
If he felt the Butterfrees in his stomach whenever he saw them, if he felt like fainting every time he heard their voice, and if his heart melted every time he kissed them. Okay... I was getting sad now.
I frowned, nuzzling Sneasel softly.
Man... I missed Gold so much!
"...is it Blue?" I managed to say, before hearing the brunette erupt into laughter.
What the hell was so funny? Blue wasn't ugly! In fact Green should have been proud to have her as a girlfriend... that was of course is she was his girlfriend.
"Blue?! What in the world made you say that?" He asked, still chuckling at what I said.
Frowning to myself I shrugged.
"...it was just a thought..."
"Well you thought wrong..."
I honestly couldn't tell you how grateful I was to hear that news.
Blue was not Green's girlfriend. Thank God for that. Then who the hell could it be? Well... if I looked like Green maybe I would have lots of people swooning after me, I mean he was in another league completely compared to me.
I was so plain, and so uninteresting in comparison.
"Then who?" I asked, not realising how rude it sounded until Green raised an eyebrow at me.
"Nosey aren't we?"
"...actually don't tell me... I don't care anyway..." I mumbled to myself.
Why should I even care in the first place?
I heard Green sigh.
"Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?"
"Deny it afterwards when some-one basically tells you to butt out of their business?"
Did I really do that? It was just force of habit really, or self preservation whichever you prefer.
Huffing to myself I cuddled Sneasel, hearing her mewl quietly.
Maybe I hugged her too tight?
"...it's just who I am... deal with it..."
Green rolled his emerald eyes but smiled nonetheless.
He didn't say anything, or make any horrible comments for a while.
We just sat in comfortable silence.
That was until once again the annoying ringtone of Green's Pokegear blared loudly.
I sighed.
Why couldn't he have a better ringtone?
"Sorry..." He mumbled as he answered.
"Hello?"
Once again there was a pause, and a part of me wondered if it was Blue yet again.
She was the sort of person to badger you for information until she got what she wanted, but still... maybe she had changed?
"...Red?!" Green's voice raised in pitch and instantly I turned to face him, wanting to listen to the conversation.
I watched as his face expressed anxiety, like something was troubling him.
Had something happened?
"...why are you calling me? I thought we said we couldn't call each other during work hours?"
Slowly I raised an eyebrow.
This all seemed a little too secretive for my liking. Why was it so bad to call someone when you were at work? Green wasn't even at work!
"...oh I see..."
Green's eyes flickered across to me for a moment.
"...yes... he is right here..."
Were they talking about me?
"...some-one to speak to him? May I ask who it is?"
My eyes widened.
So Red was calling on someone's behalf? And who the hell would want to talk to me? Unless...
"I see... yes okay..."
Green handed me his Pokegear and I just held it in confusion.
He smiled awkwardly at me.
"...someone wants to talk to you..."
He shrugged and just relaxed in his seat.
I sighed, hoping to God it wasn't who I thought it was...
Clearing my throat I managed to allow some words to escape my lips.
"Hello...?"
"...Silver?!"
The voice sounded desperate and immediately my heart started to sink.
No...it couldn't be...
"...G-Gold...?" I mumbled, hearing my voice stutter.
No... why? Why was he doing this? I needed to get away, I wanted him to move on and live a normal life. Calling me via Red was not the answer.
Green's eyes burned into me as the conversation continued.
"...Oh my God! Silver! I am so glad you answered! I didn't know what else to do..."
His voice sounded broken, like he had been crying.
I swallowed hard, feeling Sneasel move in my lap in concern.
"...why are you calling me? I told you to forget about me..."
"...I can't! I can't just ignore you Silver...and I didn't know who else to help me call you..."
I sighed softly, smiling awkwardly at my ice type, who looked at me with a worried expression.
There was nothing to worry about, I was fine.
"...Gold..." I mumbled, combing my fingers through my hair.
"...please... come home...don't go to Kanto..." He literally begged me, and I winced at hearing his voice.
I hated hearing him beg like that, it just wasn't like Gold. Gold usually would bluff his way through life, not caring about anything.
Not right now however.
"...you know I have to do this..."
There was a pause.
"You don't! You can come home... and we can sort this out... we always do!"
I looked at Green momentarily, feeling sympathy radiate off him.
I didn't want his condolences.
"Not any more..."
I hated this! So fucking much! Fucking Cyan... and his fucking suicidal brother... and his fucking psychopath ways! Why did he have to ruin the best thing to ever happen in my life?
Gold took a deep breath, as if he was trying to stop himself from breaking down.
"...but what about my birthday? You said... you would be there..."
And at that moment I felt my heart literally split in two.
Tears stung my eyes as Sneasel worriedly nuzzled my face, letting me know she was here for me.
But it wasn't enough.
He wanted me there... at his birthday party... me...the one person who would probably ruin it.
I placed a hand to my head, trying to fight off the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.
"...I'm sorry..." I mumbled pathetically.
"I love you Silver..."
And I knew he meant it.
I knew he loved me every time we kissed, every time he smiled at me, and every time we had sex. There was meaning behind the actions.
I bit my lip, suddenly feeling a hand on my shoulder.
It was Green.
Maybe he knew I was struggling to keep it all together?
"...stop saying that..." I muttered, not wanting to hear him say that any more. It was too painful. He needed to try to move on and forget about what we had.
And I had to do the same.
"...but it's the truth!" Gold cried out desperately.
"...and please don't call me again..."
I took a deep breath, feeling a single tear escape my eyes before quickly wiping it away.
No, I wouldn't cry. Not on a train with hundreds of people, and not in front of Green.
There was an uncomfortable pause.
"...is that what you want...?"
I nodded weakly, realising that I needed to voice my actions.
"Y-yes...it is..."
"...I won't give up on you Silver... I won't!"
He sounded determined, and I hated that part of his personality.
Gold would never know when to quit, when he had lost the match. He would always keep pursuing his ideals without a care in the world, only this time he would have to let go.
He had no choice and neither did I.
"...you have to..."
"I won't! Not when I know you love me too!"
I paused, trying to think of something to say without my voice dying on me.
Yes... I did love him, more than anything in the entire world. I realised that, and when I did Cyan shattered it to pieces. There was no way back from this, not unless Cyan was out of the picture for good. But even so the idea of killing him off didn't seem too appealing.
"...it's not enough..."
Green's hand gently rubbed my tense shoulder as Sneasel looked up at me with large eyes.
I smiled at her, trying to ease her thoughts.
She was another one who cared about me too much.
Gold took another deep breath.
"...I will never let you go..."
I couldn't take it any more, slowly I was falling apart and I needed to stop it.
The only way to end this whole situation was to hang up on Gold, but then.. he would feel even worse. I didn't want to crush him completely, but what other choice did I have?
"I have to go now..." I mumbled, hoping Gold just dropped the subject.
But I knew he wouldn't.
"NO! Silver... please don't hang up on me..."
Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply before hanging up, hearing Gold's voice fade from my memory.
That was it now, it was over.
I slowly handed Green back his Pokegear as Sneasel snuggled against me sadly, hoping to cheer me up somehow.
Maybe she felt my pain?
My breaths were shaky every time I inhaled.
I couldn't believe I managed to hang up on him, on the one person who I loved more than life itself.
Green frowned as he shoved the item into his pocket.
"...I'm not going to even bother asking you what happened..."
At least he knew when to butt out of my business, and besides I doubted the likeliness of being able to talk to anyone about this without breaking down.
Lately it was so hard to just breathe without wanting to collapse on the ground in a heap. Gold had been my constant support, and now I was walking away from him on my own. It was daunting.
"...if he calls again...please...tell him to leave me alone.." I asked Green, watching the older boy nod sadly.
Did he know what was going no between Gold and I? I hoped not. The last thing I wanted was to be teased about being gay.
But he didn't.
It was like he understood.
"Alright..."
I sighed, placing a hand to my head in annoyance.
Now I couldn't erase Gold's voice from my mind. It was haunting me, causing my heart to melt away.
A part of me wished I never fell in love with him then all this would be so much easier to deal with.
"...but sometimes if you talk about your problems you can work things out..." Green consoled, removing his hand from my shoulder.
I shrugged, knowing that it was not possible.
We had talked enough, and the only way to ensure Gold's safety was to make sure he stayed as far away from me as possible.
"...you don't understand..."
"Try me..." Green challenged, folding his arms.
Great... just what I needed. I didn't need Green trying to prove he felt what I did. I didn't care, all I wanted was to forget about all of this, to attempt to move on with my shitty life.
"...just drop it..."
I heard Green sigh in annoyance.
"You can't just walk away from the people you love Silver...because you will just end up resenting yourself for it..."
I glared at the emerald eyed boy.
He had no fucking idea how I felt! He had no fucking idea why I was walking away!
"Shut up! You have no fucking idea what I am going through!"
I never meant to shout at him, guess I just couldn't deal with this shit any more.
Green was only trying to show me the error of my ways, but right now this was the only option I had.
"...maybe I don't, but I do know how hard it is to walk away from the person you love. I have to do it time and time again... and it's horrible not knowing when I am going to see them again...I just don't want you to go through what I do, day in day out..."
I glanced at Green, feeling Sneasel shuffle in my lap to get comfortable.
So Green loved someone and he had to walk away from them all the time? How was that even possible? Why did he keep going back to them if he knew he had to leave? Wait a minute...
My eyes widened as realisation hit me.
I believed I knew who the person was who Green loved.
"...tell me you don't love 'him'..." I murmured, hoping to God it wasn't Red.
Fucking hell I would have preferred sticking my head in a gas oven than be around him. Did Red even know how to feel emotions?!
I watched the emerald eyed boy frown, and look at the floor.
"You can't help who you fall in love with Silver, you should know that better than anyone..."
And I did.
I never wanted to fall in love with Gold. If I had my way it would have never happened, but it did. And now I couldn't turn back time to prevent this whole stupid mess from happening. I just had to deal with it somehow, to try to keep everything together and not to fall apart.
"...yeah..." I mumbled, wondering how long it would be until we reached Saffron City.
After all I did need to start my shift at the store soon.
"...all I am saying is don't throw it all away over nothing. Just think about what you are doing, and if it is really worth all the pain and suffering."
Green was right, as usual.
But it wasn't worth all the pain. I hated feeling like this.
"...I have to do this..."
"Well... if that is the case then change some aspects of your life... for example change your haircut, or get a tattoo, or do something irrational..."
I raised an eyebrow at Green.
Was he trying to be a bad influence on me? And what about a haircut? There was nothing wrong with my hair! I liked it long... but still... I guess I did partly understand where he was coming from.
If I changed things about myself then maybe I would feel differently, and it would be easier to move on with my life.
"...I think it should be you considering a haircut.." I shot back sarcastically, hearing Green chuckle.
"My hair is styled this way thank you very much!"
I shrugged, but smiled weakly nonetheless.
"...just think about what I have said, it might make you feel differently about things..."
And as I looked down at Sneasel she nodded.
Maybe he was right after all.
To start a new life I needed to change things, even mundane things like how often I changed my socks, or what I ate for breakfast. Small changes might help me in the long run.
And as the voice over announced the train would soon be pulling into Saffron City deep inside I was grateful for Green being patient with me and talking me round.
Usually only Gold was able to get through to me, but this time Red's long lost soul mate managed to do it.
Oh my God... weird as hell. Red and Green? Together? I can't even imagine it.
My eyes glanced to the window watching the skyline of the city come into view and deep inside I realised that it was now or never.
My new life was about to begin, and I needed to be prepared for whatever came my way.
Author's Note: YAY! Green! :) I like his character already ^^ and awwww poor Silver! Will he see the error of his ways and go back to Johto? Read and review please! Lemme know what you think! :D