Author's Note: So if you haven't taken a look at the current projects list on my profile recently, I have decided that "Second Thoughts" and "Let Her Go" will become part of my adaptations of Flashpoint/HoTS and LoTV respectively. Those chapters will probably be written and released in bulk.
With regard to the Hyperion's age, this story takes place in 2506 and I'm assuming the ship was brand-new when the Umojans took it in 2490. That will come into play later.
Bridge, Hyperion, Haven Orbit
Something didn't seem right. Matt Horner wasn't one to make an opinion on gut instinct alone, but somehow he knew that this time he'd be right.
It wasn't that he didn't want Jim to be happy, but something about Sarah made him uneasy. Maybe it was the fact she now met the gaze of the Hyperion's crew, or the fact that her appearance bore more of a resemblance to the Queen of Blades than before. Or the fact that Jim had voiced similar suspicions in their first discussion and dropped them the next time they talked.
The bridge door slid open and a small drone trundled inside, followed by Swann. Horner walked over to them, grateful for something to take his mind off of worrying.
"Hey, Swann. How does the powerplant look?"
The drone wheeled over to the console and plugged itself in to begin downloading its report. "Well, the short version is: not bad considering the age and punishment we've been giving to the ship's reactor. But we'll have to get it completely refueled soon. I presume you've got a plan for that, Captain?"
"If I recall correctly, that involves shutting the reactor down, purging and cleaning it, and restocking it with hydrogen. We can do that when we put the ship in for a refit in a week, but where are we going to get enough power to restart it? We're replacing our backup batteries, replacements arrive uncharged, the Dylarian Shipyards are still in ruins from the hybrid war."
Swann grunted. "Why bother to have more when battlecruisers hardly last the 10 years their reactors are good for? Anyhow, I've heard of battle-damaged cruisers using their warp matrixes to restart their fusion reactors, but it's extremely risky and if it doesn't work properly we're all stardust."
"Well, it's been 16 since the ship was commissioned, so someone must've done this before."
"Bah, the reactor in here right now is the Umojan type that they installed when the captured the ship. It's supposed to be more self-sustaining."
"What are you suggesting then? That we get a new power core?"
"Nobody knows how to refuel this damn thing in the Dominion, so it's looking like our only option."
"Next time, be a little bit more straightforward about that, will you?" Horner grumbled. "That means we're going to be laid up for months while we get it installed."
"Not like you have anything better to be spending your time on other than card games in the cantina, Cap."
"If only. Remember that we still have to complete Kerrigan's plan. Speaking of her..." Horner briefly glanced over at the console as it brought up Swann's full diagnosis before lowering his voice and turning back to the chief engineer. "Something about Kerrigan doesn't seem right. Not if she was acting genuinely for the last two years."
"No need to lower your voice; the commander ain't around and the rest of the crew agrees with you. I say why does it matter, so long as he's happy?"
"Because I don't believe that's truly her. Too much seems out of place. Which means when the true Kerrigan finds her way back here the it's going to hit the fan. I know you're not terribly interested in her best interests, but Jim won't be walking away from that unscathed if at all."
Before Swann could reply, there was a blue flash and a Protoss shuttle, identical to the one inside the Hyperion's hangar, jumped into the system.
Sarah gazed out the viewport at the Hyperion. Her one true home since leaving TarKossia.
There was no need for an identification request; the shuttle had informed the Hyperion of its arrival prior to warping. The craft docked alongside the Hyperion's forward docking tube and Sarah thanked the Protoss pilots before stepping out.
A marine was waiting for her. "Captain Horner wants to see you."
"Can't I see Jim first?" The marine shook his head and Sarah reluctantly followed him to the bridge.
Horner diverted his attention away from reading Swann's report as he noticed Sarah enter.
"Sarah, it's good to have you back."
"Likewise, Matt." She glanced around. "Where's Jim?"
"He...isn't here right now."
She sensed he was hiding something. "What's up? You're not usually like this."
"Well, someone very similar to you arrived on the ship a few days ago."
"So?" Sarah was starting to get mildly irritated.
"Well...Jim thought she was you..."
A look of worry crossed her face, followed by one of determination. "Then I'll make him remember who he really fell in love with." Sarah turned and walked out of the bridge.
"Sarah, wait a minute!" But she was already gone. Matt pounded the console in frustration. He knew her well enough to understand that no further talk would convince her not to go, even though he hadn't delivered the most important part of his warning.
Sarah didn't quite understand the crew's quizzical looks at her, but it was better than the hatred she usually got and she was too focused on her newfound task.
She reached Jim's room and found it was locked. Odd. He never locked it unless it was for her sake; the crew knew better than to disturb him if he went in. Of course, she knew the code to unlock it.
She stepped inside and the door shut behind her, leaving the room dark except for the glow of a nightlight on the ceiling. "Jim? Are you in here?" she called softly.
"Jimmy ain't here right now," a similar voice spoke from behind her in echoing tones. Sarah whirled and found herself confronting a pair jade eyes. She backed up slightly as she recalled the mysterious figure she'd seen while in captivity.
"You. What have you done with Jim?"
"Tch, such faith." The mysterious figure laughed and took a step into the light.
Sarah's eyes widened as she took in a body identical to hers but with brown hair, a sleeveless purple dress, and high heels. Her makeup was done more perfectly than Sarah could ever remember herself doing, and even that one step forward exuded a confidence that she couldn't remember having since her Sons of Korhal days. "Would Jimmy not love this?" she asked, gesturing to herself.
"No, he wouldn't," Sarah replied immediately, but it lacked confidence. She couldn't ever imagine being more attractive to Jim than this woman before her.
The clone laughed again. "It's almost a shame to break your faith - " she spat the last word as thought it were a curse " - but why don't we let him speak for himself?" She turned her head out of the glow of the nightlight as she spoke and the sound of lips meeting was heard.
A second later, the lights in the room came on, revealing her partner to be none other than Jim Raynor himself.
Sarah stared in shock. No, no no no, this couldn't be. A kaleidoscope of emotions tumbled through her head in. Denial, betrayal, jealousy, heartbreak.
She balled up her fists and locked her jaw, tearing her gaze from the kissing duo. She wouldn't give this monstrosity with her body the satisfaction of making her suffer. The two broke the kiss after a few more seconds. Jim's eyes fell on Sarah and a confused expression crossed his face. He looked back between the brunette he was holding and the red-haired one standing a few feet from them.
Upon sensing his confusion, Sarah could no longer hold back. "Jim, it's me! Don't you know me at all?"
The clone acted as if nothing was happening. "Jimmy, what's gotten into you? You look like you've seen the Queen of Blades."
Jim's eyes narrowed slightly as he sized the two women up. They both heard his question, though it was more to himself than them. "Alright, now which one of you is the real Sarah?" As stupid as the question sounded, it was deeper than it seemed.
One was the Sarah he'd known and loved for the past two years. The Sarah that he'd carried out of the hive on Char, held in his arms atop Mengsk's ruined palace, grieved for when she had to infest herself, and stood hand-in-hand with as they fought for the future he'd always wanted. The broken, guilt-ridden woman that he'd spent hours comforting and lost lives protecting. A woman who was selfless beyond measure and always willing to do what was right.
The other was the Sarah he thought he knew before Tarsonis. The confident and beautiful woman who he'd won when others told him she was untouchable, the woman he'd brought out of seclusion and worked together with so often that he could read her mind as well as she could read his. The personality of Sarah Kerrigan that the Zerg had warped into the Queen of Blades. Complicated and enigmatic at times, but caring and devoted at others.
In many ways, they were similar. But where the two personas of Kerrigan differed they were polar opposites. Both sides of her had existed at one point in time; he'd sometimes missed the Sarah of old but never regretted the developments that had accompanied the Sarah he knew after her de-infestation. But he had, at those times, thought that if there was the remotest chance of having that old persona back he would take it. In a way, this wasn't a choice of which Sarah Kerrigan was the real one. It was a choice of which one that he loved more.
He reached for his revolver and pointed it at one of the women. "I don't know what kind of fool you take me for, but the Sarah I know isn't you."
(music - Mega Man Maverick Hunter X: Zero's Sacrifice)
The redhead's jaw dropped and tears began to form in her eyes. Suddenly Sarah's hostile environment suit felt like it weighed a million pounds and she felt a pressure building within her. She turned to leave, keeping a slow, steady gait and refusing to shed a tear. She would not let her tormentors have the satisfaction of knowing how much she'd just been hurt.
The clone watched her go with relish. Behind her, Jim groaned and rubbed his eyes as the door slid shut. "Ugh...what's going on? One minute we're about to make love and - " The clone cut him off with a kiss.
"Nothing, Jimmy. Just a slight interruption. I love you as much as I did ten minutes ago."
"Good. Now where were we?"
"Getting there," she whispered mischievously.
As the door closed behind her Sarah crumpled to her knees and let the tears flow. The only thing keeping her from losing control immediately was the crewman at the end of the corridor. No matter how upset she was, she reminded herself, it wasn't worth someone's life.
"Jim...ever since Char I wanted to save you like you did me...and I ended up destroying you..." She'd never thought Jim would regret helping her shoulder her burdens, but had she, in the nearly two years since Jim had brought her back, even thought about him?
The answer was an unavoidable no. She'd protected him physically, but never once suspected that their separation hurt him as much as it hurt her. Cutting contact might work to minimize her pain, but it was paramount that it was the worst possible choice for someone who loved like he did. And yet she'd done it without a second thought for him, and he'd deferred to her without a hint of how much it pained him to do so.
Sarah cried harder as the realization dawned on her. "How could I expect him to stay with me at all if this was the price? He only kept me because I was needed to fight Amon, and I took it for love..."
"I...I thought I could trust him, and he betrayed me like everyone else..." Tears of sadness were replaced by ones of bitterness. "...What am I saying? He doesn't owe me anything and I act like I deserve his love...Maybe they were right when they said the Queen of Blades is just part of me. She treated everyone like scum...she killed without regret...I left the Swarm that trusted me with their lives...I killed those Ara Protoss without a second thought...I watched Zeratul and Mohandar fight over me and didn't lift a finger until they almost died..." She looked at herself in horror, expecting her pale face to be plated over with green scales and gloves on her suit to burst open and reveal Zerg carapace. "I'm...I'm becoming the monster I swore to destroy...and there's no artifact to bring me back this time..."
"I tried to deny it for two years...but all along I was fighting without knowing that I was merely playing fate. Everything I've fought for...it's all for nothing."
Her conscience could no longer keep her in check as the waves of emotions continued to crash over her. The scream tumbled from her lips and the entire battlecruiser shook with her power. She quickly regained control of herself upon remembering the other humans aboard but felt no better, laying prone on the floor as she continued to cry.
The door to Jim's room opened and Sarah looked up, clinging on to the slimmest glimmer of hope that he'd changed his mind.
Her hopes were dashed as she saw the faintly glowing eyes of her clone behind him. "I thought I told you to get out of here," he snapped coldly. She didn't respond and lowered her head shamefully.
"Jim...whatever I did...I'm sorry."
A slight ripple, akin to those created by a dropped stone in a pond, ran over his face at her words and he clapped his hand to his forehead. "Uhh..." he looked at her uncomprehendingly for a half-second and opened his mouth to speak before the ripple ran in reverse down his body again and his mouth closed and expression hardened. "I'm not interested in your apologies. You aren't the real Sarah, so stop pretending that you are. Go find yourself a new identity, or kill yourself. I couldn't care less either way."
Sarah jumped up and ran to him. "Jim, wait!" There it was again. That same change. She grabbed ahold of his arms. There were a billion things she wanted to say, but the only words from her mouth were a childish question. "Do...do you still love me?"
He pulled her into a hug and made to reply, but his words died in his throat as the clone reasserted control. Jim pushed Sarah away and turned to leave again.
"Jim, please don't go with her! I know you're in there; don't give up!"
This time, there was no reaction. She tried to force her way into his mind, the only form of help she could think of giving. The clone repulsed her easily. Sarah tried again, throwing every bit of will she could muster into the effort. The wall opposing her almost yielded for a moment, but the telltale ripple remained elusive and in the next second Sarah was losing the battle. The harder she resisted, the more forcefully she was repulsed, until she collapsed to her knees, completely drained. Her clone had been playing with her hopes all along. Jim fixed her with an icy glare as the door slammed shut.
She'd braced herself for the worst, but this went far beyond it. Jim hadn't left her after all; he was gone, torn from her again, and even she couldn't save him now. "No, no, no! This isn't happening!" she cried.
The door open again and a small furry object was tossed out. Jim turned to retreat back into his room after giving Sarah her teddy bear, but he froze as a deep gash appeared in his forehead. Yet, there was no wince, cry of pain, or even acknowledgement of the blood streaming down his face. The cut healed in a few seconds, but another opened on his cheek, and the cycle continued a few more times while Sarah watched with growing horror. Not a word was spoken, but after slashing open and healing Jim's body a few more times with her powers the clone allowed him a respite and sent him inside, following suit after regarding Sarah for a second. The message could not have been clearer: she could be subjecting Jim to any and every form of torture imaginable and neither he nor Sarah could do anything about it. And because he was at the clone's mercy, so was Sarah.
Sarah looked at the teddy bear laying facedown on the floor, the same one that Jim had bought for her as a gift six years ago and precipitated the moment that led to their relationship. It was in near-perfect condition for such an old toy, but she nonetheless picked it up as tenderly as she could manage. A few tears fell onto it, and Sarah gently wiped them away before gently holding the bear close to her, not wanting to damage it further.
She had been holding it for a few moments when she heard some noises from Jim's room. With a sickening certainty, she realized that Jim was making love to her clone.
The fragile dam that had been holding back her emotions shattered and her tears returned. She felt another scream coming on, but she didn't even have the strength left to channel her powers. "NO! This can't be happening! Why should I carry on?! WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?!" She collapsed face-first onto the floor, ending up spread-eagled across the corridor as she tried to drown herself in her tears, the cold eyes of the teddy bear meeting her own.
Antioch, Aiur (music - your choice)
Artanis pounded the table as Matt cut the communication. Once again, they acted too late to prevent disaster.
Next to him, Mohandar studied the area where Horner's image had previously been with a dark expression. To Artanis' other side, Selendis stood deep in thought.
The Hierarch stood after taking a moment to recover his composure. "We should return to the chamber. The recess has nearly ended." Horner had fortunately called shortly after Artanis had declared a recess due once again to Nahaan's indecorous behavior.
As the other members of the Hierarchy filed back in, along with the usual four-templar jury that accompanied most major decisions.
"We shall continue hearing the testimony of Executor Selendis," Urun began. There were nods of consent and she stepped into the center of the chamber, at ease despite the gazes of the Hierarchy from their lofty perches across the room.
Artanis briefly consulted his seat's holodisplay before speaking. "Executor, explain your reasons for violating the non-aggression treaty with the Haven colonists without either distress signals from them or Hierarchy consent."
"I had given up hope that Hanson could contain, let alone cure, the infestation once it had spread to more than 30% of the colonists. When James Raynor forced us to retreat, about 7% of the colonists were infested. I retained several Observers over the planet as per orders, and they reported that within weeks the percentage jumped to 10%, then to its peak at 33% in the coming months."
"We have thorough data of infestation rates readily available to you, Executor. You should know that a 3% increase in infected over the course of three weeks, even with extreme Terran precautions such as killing of infested, is nothing short of a miracle! As an official of your standing, such oversight is unacceptable! I certainly would not expect such disobedience from my student, Selendis!"
"Peace, Hierarch, she meant well in her actions. We did not trust the Zerg or Terrans as we do now," reminded Tabrenus.
"That does not constitute the murder of thousands of Terrans, who are our allies to begin with!"
"And what if the infestation was not cured? Could we afford to take that chance?" Nahaan interrupted.
"This is not a trial of principle, Nahaan! This is a trial for violation of orders!"
"And if we punish those who violate orders in the interest of the greater good, we are no greater than the Conclave we replaced! Let us remember what transpired with Tassadar; if we ignore his lesson, we will have proven ourselves to have learned nothing!" he seethed.
"You have proven that you yourself know nothing, Nahaan! Terrans are not merely pawns to be sacrificed, nor are Zerg solely abominations to be eradicated! Without the aid of either we would have fallen to the Dark One!"
"Not all of us have the luxury of abilities that allow us to hide from our enemies, Mohandar! Perhaps if you lacked such cowardice then you would see the logic behind caution!"
"SILENCE! Nahaan, you are dismissed! Mohandar, calm yourself or you will follow suit," Artanis snapped coldly.
"What?!"
"Your opinions are no longer required, Nahaan. We have taken a vote during recess and decided that you shall henceforth be censured. You may remain if you so wish, but any spoken words will result in your forceful removal."
The Praetor's eyes glowed dangerously. "Very well. But you will change your mind soon, I assure you!" With that, he left the room.
The remaining members of the Hierarchy briefly glanced at one another before the trial continued.
Hyperion
Sarah didn't know how long she had been crying until Rawlins and Thatcher (A/N: I know what happened in Flashpoint; her backstory's coming later) came across her. There was the occasional glance of concern beforehand, but soon people began to avoid the hallway, and the few that didn't could not be bothered to make a move until Thatcher went to get Matt.
Sarah didn't look up as she sensed the captain standing over her. "I suppose this is where you get to say 'I told you so'," she sobbed.
"Shh, not here." He turned behind him and saw Swann lumbering through the small group that had clustered around them. "Swann, help me get her to the cantina."
"No, it's okay," she tried to say, but her legs gave out as she tried to stand on her own.
"It's okay, miss. I gotcha." Swann grunted and threw her over his shoulder, careful not to grab too hard with his mechanical claw.
When they entered the cantina, the music stopped playing and the men stood at attention.
"At ease, boys. I don't want to spoil your fun, but she needs some quiet," Matt informed them, gesturing at Sarah. "Thatcher, Rawlins, stay behind."
There were nods of understanding, and to their credit the crew filed out silently.
"Let me go, please." Swann set Sarah down. She laid her head against a table, not meeting either man's eyes.
"When are you going to get it in your head that we do care about you, Sarah?"
"Why should you?" Tears formed in her eyes again. "Don't even try to pretend you respect or care about me! All I am to all of you is an unstable, half-Zerg psychotic killer that's only spared you because she's your CO's pet!"
"That's not true and you know it!" Horner retorted before taking a moment to think about his next words. "Look, Sarah, I know we don't exactly make you feel comfortable. But you can't deal with this on your own. Nobody can."
"Who said I was dealing with it?" she replied miserably, though she looked him in the eyes for the first time.
"You owe it to the rest of us to finish what you started. Do you still love him?"
"What does that have to do with - "
"Do you love him even though he left you? Because if you do, then you'll do what you can to make the remainder of his life safe."
Sarah blinked. That was exactly how she'd felt whenever she couldn't have him. There was just one small thing. "But he didn't leave me."
"Does that make a difference?"
"Yes! I could have won him back before, but he's been forcefully taken from me! I tried everything to bring him back, but it's just pulling him further from me!"
"Who said you were alone in this?" Thatcher interjected. Sarah looked at the other woman in confusion.
"It's a matter between me and Jim. I need to handle it myself."
"No, you don't. He's our commander. We owe it to him to get him back."
"Why are you helping me? You have every reason to make me suffer."
"You brought me back; now it's time I returned the favor. We Raiders always look out for each other."
While that was the essence of the truth, Sarah had purposely deleted part of Thatcher's memory so she would forget how she'd returned. When she'd returned to Prometheus Station looking for clues to the hybrids' whereabouts after re-infesting herself on Zerus, Sarah had found Thatcher's corpse drifting in space. Out of guilt, she had brought her into her leviathan and re-animated her as an infested, making sure to keep her out of harm's way. At the end of the hybrid war, Thatcher had been one of the first to have her infestation reverted, though Sarah had purged any memories of infestation.
She'd never expected that act to be treated as a favor. She had simply thought she was making amends. But clearly there were many more who were willing to give her a second chance than she anticipated.
Sarah turned back to Matt. "How did you know about Jim?"
"Well, a person who looks a lot like you showed up out of the blue claiming to be Sarah Kerrigan. That's suspicious already. For one, no Terran would ever want to be mistaken for the Queen of Blades. Also, I ordered a search of the shuttle she flew here and found two decapitated Protoss inside."
"Wh...what?! And Jim didn't find any of this suspicious?"
"That's the thing. It's so unlike him that a lot of us suspected was being brainwashed. He wouldn't even listen to what I was trying to tell him."
"We ain't gonna force you to do anything," Swann grunted. "All we're asking is if you want to help."
The tension in the room finally seemed to dissolve and Sarah relaxed. "Alright. What do you want me to do?"
6 hours later (music - Mega Man Maverick Hunter X: Boss Appears)
Jim groaned and opened his eyes. Another wonderful night of making love to Sarah. He was starting to like her this way, though it disturbed him slightly that she thought so little about the past five years all of a sudden.
He looked around and realized she wasn't there. "Sarah?" he called.
"In here," the clone responded from the bathroom. Jim briefly wondered if he should join her but decided against it.
Inside, the clone held a vial shaped like the sheath of her knife and was repeatedly dipping the blade into it. It contained a necrotic solution similar to the compounds Nahaan had used to gas the hives on Char. She didn't keep the blade permanently immersed in it as the solution was potent enough to erode the metal.
"At last, the time has come for me to make my move. Playing with these fools has been entertaining, but my master is at risk of being exposed. I must act now if the plan is to succeed." She sheathed her knife once she was satisfied that the blade was thoroughly coated in the toxic potion.
"Sarah? Are you okay in there?" Jim called again after a few minutes.
"I'll be right out," she called flirtatiously. "Are you ready?"
"Always, darlin'." A few moments later, the door opened and Jim strode to her, running his hands over her dress-covered figure and kissing her passionately.
Sarah's eyes snapped open. Something big was happening. And her gut instinct was hardly wrong.
She briefly glanced around the empty cantina for some sort of equipment, but remembered that Nahaan had taken it and she hadn't gotten replacements.
"Guess just my mind will have to do." She noticed the teddy bear sitting upright across from her and allowed herself a small smile. "Well, my mind and this." She ran out of the cantina, heading for Jim's quarters, calling out telepathically to Matt to alert him to the situation.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, despite the evocation of some horrid narm (couldn't resist, sorry). Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Thanks to Izwan for pointing out the canon version of Kerrigan's killing of her parents. Consider the version I have here a retcon.