Author's Note: Ah, it's my 21st birthday in two days! :D I know that was random. Anyway, this chapter is quite long and sort of comes in two parts. This is part one so please enjoy!
Chapter Sixteen: Missing You
Luckily Green and I managed to get to the station with only two minutes to spare. The time on the large clock read 8:30am, too damn early for me. But that wasn't the most important thing to worry about right now.
Was Red okay back in Goldenrod? What if Cyan had really hurt him or something?
There was no way Green would let him get away with it, and it would probably destroy him entirely. So as my eyes watched the magnet train pull into the station a heavy sigh escaped my lips. Right now I felt so sorry for the emerald eyed boy, he would soon feel all the torment and anguish that had recently been inhabiting my body, he would soon feel the heartbreaking pain of watching the one person he loved break right in front of his eyes. Being so utterly powerless was the ultimate weakness to both myself, and him.
My eyes flickered across to his face, which was pained with both uncertainty and anger.
I hated that look, and I had seen it way too much in my life. The look of sadness, anxiety and anguish... all rolled into one. It just didn't seem to look right on Green's face.
"...well... there's no turning back now" He mumbled, forcing a smile at me.
I nodded weakly, watching as the train came to a stand still and the large doors opened. Luckily for us not a lot of people were travelling back to Johto today so we would probably be able to sit down for the journey,
"I hope Red will be okay..." I thought out loud, watching Green's face wince at the horrible mental images that must have been swimming through his mind.
"...me too..."
And with that said the both of us boarded the train, ready for our long journey back to Johto.
Green and I managed to sit together once again, which was good in my opinion. He was already feeling a little delicate so maybe having me here was a good thing this time.
Even so... this horrible feeling continued to haunt me, devouring my soul slowly with every passing second. What if the worst had happened... what if Red had been killed by Cyan? What then? Did he even have that evil corrupt gene in his body? Well... right now that was definitely debatable. If he could have got to me I would have died a thousand times over...
Green sighed as he rested his head back against the chair, eyes watching the scenery of Kanto pass us by.
"...are you okay?" I asked, as I placed my rucksack on the floor in-between my feet, wondering if that was the right thing to ask at this precise moment in time. I watched as he shrugged weakly.
"I will be once I know what has happened... I don't think I could cope if...he was hurt..."
I frowned and stared at my hands that lay in my lap. Slowly I started to fidget as my mind began to wonder about other things.
If Cyan had hurt Red then he was definitely capable of hurting Gold too, but was it already too late?
I shook that thought from my mind immediately. Inside I knew Gold was tough, he had to be. Battling constantly throughout his childhood certainly didn't make him weak, in fact underneath all those stupid smiles and terrible jokes lay a willpower of stone.
"I know...but if Cyan has done something to him he won't get away with it..." I consoled.
Green turned to face me, and smiled weakly.
"...but of course, I will kill the bastard...and I know plenty of other people would want to as well"
I nodded, knowing that people would be queuing from far and wide to take part in that heinous crime. Not that I cared, some-one as warped and as twisted as he was needed to be stopped.
Sighing softly I rested my head against Green's shoulder, not just for his support but for my own. The confrontation that I would receive from Cyan wasn't something I was going to enjoy, but it was something that had to be done.
"I mean... come on! Everyone has family problems... there is really no need to start lashing out and hurting other people" Green groaned, obviously annoyed with the whole scenario.
I couldn't really agree with him on this considering I had worse family problems than Cyan and Green put together.
They had no idea what it was like to grow up in an abusive household, to want to tell some-one about it and just being unable to even speak. And I did lash out at people, on a daily basis. Growing up it was Gold who received the brunt of my attacks, just because he was always there...annoying me... pestering me... or just being there for me. And I hated it. In my head I had often thought why would some-one like him want to be there for some-one like me? I didn't deserve his friendship, or anything he had to offer, so time after time I would push him away...but he would always come running back.
I sighed heavily, closing my eyes briefly.
What if this time he wouldn't run back to me? What if...he stayed away?
"Silver...? Are you okay?" Green said softly, nudging my arm gently. My eyes flickered open and I weakly nodded.
"...yeah...I guess"
"I know you are worried about Gold, but don't worry too much. I am sure everything will be fine"
How did he have that much faith in Cyan?! Right now I was sure he had kidnapped everyone I knew and would be holding them to ransom or something.
Placing a hand to my head I grimaced.
Damn... stupid mind overloading...
"...and what if it isn't?"
"Then Cyan will go to prison...do you really think he will get away with any of this?"
I raised my eyes to Green, seeing that look in his eyes, the look of confidence and determination. I had to believe him, to believe in his words even if there was a possibility it could all be a lie. Right now, any shred of faith was something to cling onto.
"Green..." I murmured quietly, feeling the taller boy shuffle slightly. I sighed heavily, feeling this horrible weight pressing down on my heart, suffocating it.
"Yes?"
"...how close are you and Red?"
Resting my head against his shoulder I heard the older male cough slightly.
"I have known him most of my life...so yeah, I'd say we are very close..."
Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, wondering if Green was hurting more than I was right now.
Did he have more of a connection with Red? Was it like trying to breathe without oxygen?
"...have you always loved him?" I asked, not even knowing why. It wasn't like I was genuinely interested, maybe I just wanted some aimless conversation to pass the time?
Either that or I wanted to fall asleep...
I heard him chuckle.
"No, in fact at one point I really disliked him..."
My eyes opened at his words.
He disliked Red? So, it wasn't a great relationship from the start then...not like how I had seen it. How strange...maybe Green was more like me than I ever thought?
"...why did you dislike him?"
"It was mainly petty rivalry really, he was always trying to be one step ahead of me and... it just pissed me off, but after he finally became the Champion I guess it didn't annoy me any more, in fact I sort of respected him. Then I turned my attention to wondering why I kept thinking about him... and worrying over him when he was stuck up Mt Silver for month's on end. I guess slowly it dawned on me that I actually liked him..."
Listening to Green foretell his past was actually soothing and at this precise moment in time I felt like I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and maybe those nightmares wouldn't harass my mind.
Maybe... And the warmth of his body was lulling me into a false sense of security...causing my eyes to get heavy.
"...so that is how it all started. I guess no relationship is perfect, even now Red and I have our arguments and love spats... but we always work through them because.. that's what you do if you love each other..."
Yes... he was right. If things get tough you can work through them if you love each other! So, no matter what Cyan did to me, or Gold we would always be okay.
I smiled to myself, inhaling the lingering scent of Green's cologne.
"Yeah..." I mumbled, feeling the soft humming of the train and the subtle warmth of the older boy. Right now I was so relaxed it was something that was alien to me.
Was it because I knew I was going to see Gold again? Or was it because of the words Green had said?
"Am I really that boring?" Green stated, nudging me into opening my eyes. Weakly I shook my head, feeling very tired all of a sudden.
"No... I'm just relaxed I guess..."
"...you don't have to spare my feelings Silver, hell I'd probably bore myself with half the things that come out of my mouth"
He chuckled softly and I couldn't help but smirk slightly. Even so, right now I felt like there was actually light at the end of this tunnel, that there would be an end to all this pain and torment. That Cyan would be stopped, one way or another.
"So... you know about Red and I, why don't you tell me about you and Gold?"
My eyes widened as I felt myself struggle into a sitting position. I didn't want to talk about it, to anyone. It was private, all my emotions and feelings towards Gold were all sealed away deep inside me, there was no way I would spill them out for Green to see.
"...I don't want to talk about it..."
I started to fidget with my hands in my lap, trying to ignore Green's burning gaze.
"Why not? It can't be that bad, surely..."
It wasn't about it being bad, I just liked to keep this sort of thing to myself. I hardly ever opened up to anyone, not even Gold! So, why did Green expect me to open up to him?
"...I just don't want to..."
I felt Green shuffle beside me as a hand gently rubbed my shoulder, causing me tense up almost immediately.
"Well, obviously you must have given him a rough time when you first became friends, because you probably couldn't understand why he wanted to be your friend...and then I'm not too sure how it escalated to this level...but I'm sure it was mainly down to Gold..."
I closed my eyes, wanting to block it all out, all the memories that were resurfacing.
The time when Gold kissed me in the cafe... the time when I had made that stupid plan to catch him out and only ended up causing my own downfall...and the time when Gold had so easily seduced me...and claimed me in every way entirely...
I bit my lip harshly, shrugging Green's hand off my shoulder.
"You don't know anything about our relationship... so shut up...!"
I never intended to come across as horrible I just couldn't help it right now. Being reminded of those times was just causing more pain and turmoil to cascade through my body. I heard Green sigh.
"...well I am only making logical guesses here, and besides, what's so bad that you won't tell me?"
Well, relaxation has gone straight out the fucking window!
"It's just none of your business!" I barked at the older boy, watching as his face contorted to a frown.
"...so what? Taking an interest in your friend's life isn't a bad thing, you know?"
I looked away quickly.
Friend? Did he really see me as that?
The anger that had resided inside me soon fizzled away like a dying flame and instead guilt replaced it. Looking at my hands I balled them into fists subconsciously.
"...I just...don't like talking..."
"I figured that out..." Green chuckled, and that frown that once scarred his features was now gone.
It wasn't easy for me, Green was naturally a confident person who could easily express his feelings to anyone.
For me... it was a lot more difficult. I was so used to being cut off from everyone, to not show any emotions and to just keep everything bottled up inside that when I was being prompted to actually talk about them... I guess I just panicked. Talking about my problems...it was alien to me.
I sighed, wondering how much longer this journey was going to be.
"...well it's your choice, I don't care if you don't tell me..."
It was at that moment those words instantly reminded me of myself. I would always say that if some-one refused to tell me something and now Green was using it at me. And by the look on his face he knew damn well what he was doing.
I raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"...are you... copying me?"
"So what if I am?" Green mocked, placing his hands behind his hand.
Did I really sound like that? So...moody? Like a stupid sulking teenager? Well, if Green was going to mimic me then I would damn well do the fucking same! But still... being like Green? How the hell was that even possible?!
"...it doesn't suit you" I commented coldly.
"It doesn't suit you either"
My eyes scanned his face.
He was being serious, but it wasn't like I could just change my personality! It was taking a lot of time to learn to be nicer to people, even Gold. Trust me, staying calm around Gold was so difficult sometimes I have no idea how I even managed to pull it off.
"Shut up..." I mumbled, turning away for the remainder of the journey.
Green remained silent for the rest of the time we were on the train, but I knew that somewhere deep inside he was probably laughing at me or something. Not that I cared. Once we got back to Johto the likelihood of me ever seeing him again was very slim. And with a heavy sigh I closed my eyes praying that soon we would be arriving in Goldenrod city and I could try to piece my life back together, brick by brick.
Once the magnet train had finally pulled into Goldenrod City station Green and I were the first ones to get off. Both of us were eager to get to the scene of the crime, the department store.
So both of us ran as fast as our legs would carry us, through the sea of people, through the various platforms and out onto the busy high street that was Goldenrod City.
Everything still seemed normal, the atmosphere, the people bustling about... in fact it seemed too normal.
I shuddered violently as my fingers gripped the straps of my rucksack to stop it slipping off my shoulder's. I tailed the older boy who was far too fast to keep up with.
Inhaling deeply I wondered what if we were too late? Maybe Cyan had already left Johto and was busy making his way to Kanto or somewhere in search of me?
I shook my head, shoving those thoughts to the back of my mind. Cyan was not like that, he would fight me on my own turf, and it would be a fight to remember.
As Green and I ran round the corner towards the department store we came to a halt suddenly. My eyes witnessed a sea of flashing blue lights and sirens and soon it clicked just what they were.
They were police cars, and an ambulance.
"No... no..." Green mumbled painfully, now breaking out into a full sprint.
Without knowing what else to do I followed the taller boy, hot on his heels as my eyes focused on the flashing blue lights that mesmerised me.
It was serious then if the police had been called...what if Red was really badly hurt?!
Taking a deep breath I followed Green into the department store, not entirely sure what to expect. The only thing I was certain of was that things were not going to end well, for any of us.
When I entered the building my heart stopped almost immediately.
My eyes focused on the form of Red, lying on the floor with paramedics crowding his fragile body, pained expressions scarring their faces. I swallowed hard, watching as Green ran over to them, frantically asking a million questions, wanting answers that were just unobtainable.
It was now I noticed Red had been hit from behind because a lot of blood had leaked out of a wound in his head, causing the tiles to stain a sickening crimson colour.
Cringing I wondered if the Champion was still alive.
Was this Cyan's doing?
"RED! SPEAK TO ME!" Green cried out, rushing to his side helplessly.
And as he continued to shake his unconscious body into animation a horrible sickening taste flooded my mouth, making me want to vomit.
No... he couldn't be dead... could he?
Shakily I leant on a nearby counter, watching as police officer's placed yellow tape all round Red's body like it was a crime scene investigation that you would see on television.
God no...if he died... then Green...
"SILVER!" I heard a thunderous scream nearby which instantly made me turn on my heels.
It was Crystal, and oh my God I was so fucking glad to see her!
She rushed over to me, seemingly out of breath.
"Silver... I am so glad to see you... but...OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR?!"
"...Red is lying on the floor in a pool of blood and that is the only thing you can say?!"
Crystal's face contorted to sorrow as she too looked at the lifeless form of the Champion.
I guess it was only natural, but still, Red could be dead...
"...is he...dead?" I managed to mutter, watching as the paramedics placed Red's lifeless body onto a stretcher, Green staying by his side as if they were glued together.
Crystal weakly shook her head.
"No... just unconscious as far as I know, but he has lost a lot of blood...oh my God... I am so pleased to see you!"
I clenched my hand into a fist.
FUCKING CYAN! HOW DARE HE DO THIS!
My eyes followed the paramedics and Green's crumpled figure as they left the building, leaving only Crystal and I, and a few police officer's at the scene. Trembling slightly I asked the daunting question.
"...who did this?"
And as large sorrowful azure eyes looked into my own I knew exactly who it was before she even told me.
"Cyan..."
I gritted my teeth as a terrible blood lust clouded all irrational thought.
That was the last straw... he was a dead man.
"But... why would Cyan hurt Red? Red wasn't even close to you!" Crystal cried out.
I shrugged, already knowing who the main target was, if he hadn't already got there.
"...where the fuck is he?!" I asked threateningly, looking around aimlessly.
The blue haired girl shrugged, as both our eyes watched the police officers pick up what seemed to be the weapon of choice. It was a cricket bat and it was stained with Red's blood. I swallowed hard, knowing that this abhorred image would forever be burnt into my memory.
"...maybe he has gone after Gold?" Crystal murmured weakly, her voice breaking slightly when she spoke his name. My eyes widened.
No... not him! I had to make sure Gold was okay!
"I have to go..." I muttered, patting the blue haired girl's arm gently before leaving the store.
I had to... I had to go where Gold might be, or where Cyan might be. Anything right now would be of help.
Then I felt small fingers latch around my wrist and pull me back. I turned to face the smaller girl, watching as her face contorted to a sad frown.
"Silver... I was so wrong...so wrong about you being bad for Gold..."
I paused as her eyes fell to the ground, refusing to look at me.
"What do you mean?"
She inhaled deeply.
"...he just hasn't been the same since you left...he doesn't talk to me any more... or anyone. He just stays at home... he won't answer my calls, or answer the door when I knock for him... it's like...a part of him has died..."
Gold was really being like that? Crystal was his best friend, if anyone should be able to get through to him it would be her. But even she had failed? This was bad.
I sighed, hating myself for so willingly breaking his heart when it could have all been avoided so easily.
"...no...Gold... he isn't like that"
Crystal's eyes finally diverted to mine as tears began to form in her eyes.
"I am so worried over him Silver... what if Cyan gets to him and he just let's Cyan hurt him because he doesn't want to live any more?"
My heart literally stopped beating when those words passed her lips.
Gold...wouldn't want to live? That... was just not like him!
"W-what?!"
"...the last thing he told me when you rejected him on the phone was... he felt like he wanted to die without you...he felt like everything in his life was just crumbling down and he couldn't do anything to stop it. What was the point in fighting... when there was nothing to fight for any more...?"
She sniffled as tears fell down her cheeks, and the soft ringing of police sirens were the only sounds that entered my ears.
He... wanted to die? This... was all my fault!
I needed to get to him, to show him I was back and to apologise for everything I had none.
I was such a rotten person, a bad seed, yet if Gold gave up on life because of me... I could never forgive myself.
"...I have to go and see him!"
Crystal's hand still held onto my arm, as a weak smile formed on her delicate features.
"Please... be careful... I don't want to lose you too..."
Her fingers released my arm as that sorrowful look in her eyes altered to that of hope. She had faith in me, faith that somehow I would stop Cyan, I would stop him from getting to Gold first.
I nodded weakly, before running away from the crime scene in a direction I was unsure of. One thing was certain, I needed to search everywhere, and the one place I could try first was definitely Gold's house.
My chest heaved painfully with every breath and my legs ached with every step, but I had to keep running. I couldn't give up now. I was running against the clock, and Cyan was ticking down the minutes, the seconds until Gold was in his deathly grasp.
I shuddered as I ran through Ilex Forest, knowing I still had a long way to go until I reached Gold's house.
But still, Gold said he wanted to die?
That thought itself was doing horrible things to my body.
I didn't want to imagine Gold behaving like that. I was so used to those goofy smiles, to his annoying laughter and stupid jokes...it just wouldn't be him.
I brushed away over hanging tree branches that occasionally attacked my clothes. Not that I cared if they ripped me to shreds right now, I just needed to make it, I needed to get to Gold's house.
The memories haunted me like a restless spirit, better memories of when Gold and I were kids, and he used to play around with his Pokemon, without a care in the world. At that moment I wanted time to standstill so I could always see his stupid happy face. If he didn't smile any more...it just would be so wrong...
Snapping out of my thoughts I managed to bump straight into a tree, knocking me off balance so I ended up falling into the damp cold ground beneath me.
I rubbed my head in annoyance as a slight pain consumed me, and the horrible wet sensation of mud started to congeal on my pants. As I opened my eyes I saw that a Hoothoot had fallen out of the tree that I had bumped into, it was dazed and confused, and instead of feeling irrational hatred towards the small owl Pokemon I just watched it. It teetered on it's leg before flopping onto the ground in confusion.
A small smile scarred my face as I just sat in the mud, watching the bird Pokemon.
Usually I would have probably battled it or something, but no, instead I just couldn't take my eyes off it. I had no idea why either.
Soon enough the Hoothoot came around and just sat up, preening it's feathers as large eyes glared at me in apprehension.
Was it afraid?
Slowly I managed to get back onto my feet, trying my best to brush off the mud that had stuck to my pants. I watched the small owl back away slightly as it continued to watch me.
Then again, I would probably be scared right now.
So, I gave it a small smile before continuing on my journey to Gold's house.
My journey was a long and tedious one, and took hours. Strangely enough that Hoothoot had followed me the entire time, and it was only until I reached Azalea town that I decided that the owl could become part of my team, considering it wasn't going to leave me alone.
I even nicknamed him Gold... well they were kind of alike.
So, with a new addition to my team and a more confident approach to what lay ahead of me I soon found myself In Cherrygrove City.
Gold's house was not that far away now, thank God.
If Cyan had seriously come all the way here to hurt him... he needed some sort of award. I was so tired...but then again I had no transport. Perhaps if I owned a bicycle...
The Hoothoot sat on my shoulder as the day started to morph into evening. The skies were now turning a light shade of grey as stars started to appear amongst the heavens. It wouldn't be long until it was dark.
"Hooot~"
It was actually kind of nice to have some new company, even if it was this weak Owl, but still...with it having so many personality traits to Gold how could I turn it away? Man... I was becoming soft...
Finally after some time I managed to arrive at Newbark Town. It was getting dark now and I was so unbelievably tired after all that running and travelling. If anything I just wanted to sleep, but no such luck.
With Cyan on the loose that was not possible.
So ,as I returned the new addition to my team to his Pokeball my eyes focused on the building that stood in front of me, Gold's house. A large lump congealed in my throat as I wondered if he was actually inside.
Would he even want to talk to me any more?
Cautiously I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked up to the front door. My heart started to beat faster inside my chest until it was becoming harder to breathe.
Well... at least it was a peaceful town, there was no way that Cyan had got here yet.
News travelled too fast in this small town.
Tentatively I raised my hand to the door, getting ready to knock but something stopped me.
What was it? Was it the fear of being rejected? Was it that he might not even be here and that Cyan might have already gotten to him?
I closed my eyes momentarily and took a deep breath.
Stop being such a stupid idiot and just knock the fucking door!
As I opened my eyes once again my knuckles softly tapped the wood of the door, and I waited. I heard a light being switched on and groans from within.
Was it his Mother?
"Go away Crystal... I don't want to talk to you!"
My eyes widened at hearing Gold's voice.
He was here!
"Gold!" I called out, knocking the door louder this time, hoping he would open it. I placed my ear against the wooden frame, listening for movement inside. But everything seemed to standstill.
"...I said... GO AWAY!"
Did Gold even know it was me?
Closing my eyes I knocked the door louder, listening intently for anything that would indicate that he was in the process of unlocking the door.
"...Gold... it's me! Silver..."
The last word came out as a mumble, but a part of me prayed he heard me. Then I heard something smash on the floor and then silence.
Why wasn't he saying anything?!
"...Gold open the door! Please..."
I hardly ever said please to anyone, but here I was literally begging him to open the door for me.
Wasn't this a sort of role reversal?
"...S-Silver...?" He mumbled and as I backed away from the door and allowed my rucksack to fall off my shoulder's onto the ground I heard the rattling of key's into the lock.
Before I knew it the door had swung open and Gold stood before me, wearing an old baggy t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms.
I noticed his eyes were red and bloodshot and his hair was messy and unkempt.
Was this was Crystal meant?
His eyes widened as they beheld my image.
"W-why...I thought you were...in Kanto?" He managed to choke out, almost breaking down immediately. I took a deep breath, trying to fight this uncontrollable urge to just hug him right now.
"I came back...Cyan is on the warpath and he is after you..."
I watched as Gold raised an eyebrow in confusion. It was as if he didn't understand what I was saying.
But, it was obvious he hadn't been sleeping properly. Dark circles encased his eyes and his skin was starting to look thin and fragile on his skinny arms, almost like cling film. His face looked gaunt and malignant, like his cheek bones were literally going to rip through his skin.
Had he always been this thin?
He swallowed hard as golden eyes diverted to the ground.
"...I... I thought...I would never.. s-see you again..."
I watched as his whole body heaved painfully and without thinking I placed my hands on his arms, feeling just how fragile he had become. He was literally just skin and bones, no life seemed to flourish within him any more.
"Gold... I was tricked...Cyan told me I would be working in Kanto permanently! He lied to me...he did this on purpose!"
Gold's eyes refused to look at me, as an emotionless expression covered his whole face. It was like I wasn't seeing Gold here any more, that this was just a shadow of his former self.
"...what have you done to yourself?!" I cried out, harshly shaking him by his arms.
He didn't say anything, it was like he was just broken inside and that nothing I could say would fix him.
"...you... shouldn't have come back..." He murmured weakly, eyes glassed over.
It hurt me to see him like this, why the fuck wasn't he smiling?! FUCKING SMILE GOLD!
"Why not?" I asked softly.
Gold's eyes now refocused on mine and now I could see deep within his soul. The flame that was once there, the beautiful spark that had inhabited his body was no longer there.
And I had killed that flame...
"...Cyan... he will... kill you..."
Without thinking I just pulled the shorter boy into an embrace and held him like he was literally the only thing I had left.
Had Cyan told him this? Was that his ultimate plan?
"No he won't, I won't let him..."
I felt Gold's weak fingers attach themselves to my t-shirt as he clung to me desperately. His whole body shuddered as I held him, and as I closed my eyes I could feel my stomach knot violently.
Finally, I had Gold back... only he was not the Gold I once knew. It would take some time for him to come back to me.
"Please... you have to get away..." He pleaded to me, his voice returning to it's normal tone as some strength seemed to find it's way back into his feeble bones and he squeezed me tightly. Not that I minded, it had been so long since I had last seen him let alone hugged him.
"Cyan will not get away with this... I can promise that" I warned, nuzzling into his dark hair, inhaling the scent of pomegranate shampoo.
Slowly he pulled away, looking deeply into my eyes. A small weak smile crept upon his lips.
"...you cut your hair?"
"Yeah... I wanted a change"
I watched as his hand gently reached up and stroked my face. The warmth of his fingers lingered on my skin as I closed my eyes.
God... I had missed this... But why had he done this to himself? He was so weak, so skinny...so sick...
"I will defeat Cyan...and I will make sure he doesn't hurt you..." I promised the dark haired boy, still keeping him firmly in my arms. He weakly nodded, obviously having faith in me. Right now I wondered if I could actually defeat him.
Did I have to believe in myself as well as my Pokemon to win?
"...I have never stopped loving you...Silver..." He murmured softly, which made my heart flutter inside my chest.
I had the chance right now, to tell him the truth. To tell him that I loved him too, that without him life just wasn't worth living. That when I left him all alone on the bridge... I felt like I wanted to die. But I just couldn't. Right now just didn't seem to be the right time.
Instead I found myself smiling as his fingers trailed up my face to softly caress my now shorter hair. Deep inside I hoped he knew that I loved him too, with unspoken words. After all, words were often meaningless, I had learnt that.
Instead I decided to use actions.
Pulling the fragile boy closer I pressed our lips together softly, hearing him inhale deeply as his fingers became entwined in my hair. Closing my eyes I just melted into this moment.
I never thought I would kiss him again, to feel his fingers in my hair, to inhale the fresh scent of soap and pomegranate shampoo... and to allow myself to once again fall uncontrollably in love with him. But I had.
As our lips continued to collide together in wild and dramatic passion I just wanted time to standstill, to never move forward.
I wanted to remain frozen in this moment forever, to forget about Cyan and how I would have to destroy him... and to forget about all the problems linked to my abusive childhood.
Deep inside I just wanted this horrible heavy weight to be set free from my mind.
And when I was with Gold... that weight just fizzled away...
Slowly Gold broke the kiss as large golden eyes stared into my own. Pushing his forehead against mine he sighed softly.
"...please...don't fight Cyan tonight..."
I felt his fingers remove themselves from my hair and re-attach themselves in my borrowed t-shirt.
Was he scared that I wouldn't survive or something? Did he have literally no faith in me?
"I have to..."
"...not tonight..."
His voice was soft and alluring as his nose briefly brushed against mine.
Okay, now I understood what he meant. It wasn't about me fighting Cyan, or being concerned over me... he wanted me all to himself... if just for tonight. And I would be a liar if I said I didn't want the same.
Closing my eyes briefly I nodded, deciding that tomorrow would become the judgement day for all of us, and I owed myself one night at least to feel happy. Slowly I removed one of my arms from around him and gently entwined our fingers together.
Oh my God... I was holding his hand...
Gold's eyes trailed downwards to our joined hands before mumbling;
"...you're holding my hand..."
"I am"
I know I had never done it before, but ever since that dream I had I longed to do it, just to feel safe and secure. And it did.
Gold raised his eyes to me again, a confused look scarring his features.
"Why...?"
I shrugged gently squeezing his hand in mine.
"I felt like it"
And I wasn't lying.
Maybe because I wouldn't usually do this sort of thing was why Gold questioned so much, after all, we had never held hands before. Then his face morphed into a smile, one of those smiles I never realised I missed until it was staring right back at me.
"...you're going soft Silver" He joked, chuckling afterwards.
And maybe I was, but wasn't it allowed? I had hurt Gold way too much in my life, and it was only recently I realised how important he was to me, that if he wasn't around then nothing made sense any more. After everything I had been through he was always there for me. It wasn't like I could help it.
Instead of thinking about how soft I had become I decided that maybe it was a good idea to go inside. Slowly I released Gold's hand to pick up my rucksack.
"...just shut up and let's go inside" I smiled after my words so he knew I was only joking, but still... it was a nice change to see him smile again.
And with a last glance at the dark haired boy we both walked inside his house.
As we walked inside my ears detected the noise of some programme on the television. Probably the news or a documentary on Pokemon, it just had that boring monotone voice that usually accompanied such programmes. Other than that the house itself was quiet and still, which it usually never was. After all, Gold's Pokemon had a tendency to be hyperactive if they sensed visitors.
I watched as Gold passed me and sat his figure on the sofa, which was already starting to bring back memories. Not that I minded this time. Golden eyes stared up at me expectantly as I just stood around like an idiot, not knowing where to put myself.
"You can sit down if you like?" Gold murmured, shuffling over to the far side of the sofa so I could sit down.
I nodded, suddenly finding myself feeling nervous. I had no idea why, it wasn't like I had never been in Gold's house before.
As I settled down into the comfortable embrace I placed my rucksack on the floor and released a soft sigh.
"What the hell are you watching?" I asked, aimlessly creating chitchat.
Gold shrugged and chuckled.
"I have no idea...I guess I was just not paying attention to anything at the time..."
I frowned at the thought of Gold sitting on this sofa, bowl of ice cream and spoon in hand, comfort eating while crying over stupid romantic films.
That was just so cliché.
I was alerted to the dark haired boy shuffling as he shoved his hand into his pocket, like he was searching for something. After a few moments he pulled out a red and white ball, a Pokeball.
My eyes diverted from the object to his face, wondering why he was holding this out to me?
"...I want you to take Typholosion with you into the battle tomorrow. Considering you won't let me come with you... I figured that I could help in someway, so please...take it"
I felt a weird feeling consume me as I stared at the Pokeball.
Was he being serious? He was willing to trust me to use his Pokemon in a battle that could result in serious injury? Had he completely lost his mind?
"...are you serious?"
Gold nodded.
"Of course I am! Typholosion will be able to help you out considering you don't have any fire types in your team. Please...do it for me..."
Nervously I outstretched my hand to his and slowly took the Pokeball. It felt warm and safe, like Typholosion already knew about what needed to be done.
Would he even listen to me?
I sighed softly.
"Will he even listen to me if I ask him to fight?"
"Of course he will! He knows you Silver, and besides... if I have trusted you to use him then... he will trust you too..."
My eyes focused on the Pokeball that lay in my hands. I hoped that he knew what he was letting himself in for, but still, having Gold's Pokemon by my side would definitely give me some added confidence.
As I placed the Pokeball into my trouser pocket I nodded, giving the dark haired boy a soft smile.
"...thanks..."
"I wanted to help you somehow, and I figured this was the best way"
As I looked into those golden eyes of his I noticed that at this precise moment in time I wasn't seeing this sick and fragile boy that looked like he could crumble to dust with a mere touch. I was seeing the old Gold, the one who used to annoy the ever loving crap out of me with his stupid jokes and sarcastic remarks, the one who somehow managed to make me see sense in the end, and the one who started this whole waterfall of emotions that I was slowly drowning in.
I closed my eyes briefly, biting my lip.
I had to tell him, he needed to know just how I felt about him, even if I didn't say everything. Maybe if I just told him a little of how I felt...
"Look..."
Now I had got Gold's attention I tried my best to explain myself, even though talking was still alien to me.
"...I like you..."
Gold blinked, like he never expected me to say that to him. I don't ever recall a time I ever said that I liked Gold, most of the time I used to call him an idiot or that I hated him. Then a confused look scarred his features.
"...what?"
"You heard what I said... but don't get me wrong I haven't created all this drama just because I get some stupid bubbly feeling whenever I look at you- it's just... every little thing is so overwhelming. I'm not used to this... to these... feelings or whatever, and that is why I act like I do...I guess..."
I gazed at the dark haired boy, completely un-nerved by how he had changed, and not just physically. I would never have expected Gold to sit still, on a sofa and actually talk instead of doing something stupid or annoying.
Maybe he had changed, just like I had?
"I don't understand.."
"Look, I said I like you, what's so hard to understand about that?"
Gold's eyebrows furrowed immediately, and he hesitated just before replying.
"I don't know... it just came across as it was something negative and that you wanted to avoid it so... you don't act like that all the time..."
Shit, see this is why I never talk to anyone about my feelings!
I sighed, not in annoyance though. I wanted to re-word it all better so the golden eyed boy would understand. I wasn't making it out that I hated what I felt, I was just new to it all.
"...this is why I don't talk about my feelings..." I grumbled, folding my arms and turning to look at the nearby wall.
I am so stupid..I should have just shut up.
Then I felt nimble fingers gently touch my arm, which made me look across at the dark haired boy. He was smiling softly.
"It's okay... I am still glad you at least tried"
His fingers moved up my arms until the palm of his hand gently cupped my cheek softly. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. My world at that moment just went quiet, no words, no nothing. Just the warmth of Gold's hand on my face.
And then I felt like someone had unlocked the metaphorical door to my heart and allowed all of my secrets and memories to spill out onto the floor.
"...it's so weird, that you out of all people affect me like this. It's not only a racing heart or anything, I guess... I feel content and... happy. I have never felt happy before, never in my entire life. But you, somehow manage to do that, you managed to make me forget about my past, about all the... bad things...and made it possible to look towards the future..."
I turned my head so I was looking at the shorter boy, whose eyes were widened in shock. Yeah, I guess it was an eye opener. But it was all true. I was genuinely happy when I was with him.
Then his other hand cupped my other cheek so I could no longer divert my gaze away. Sighing softly I pressed my forehead against his.
"You should be happy Silver, you out of all people deserve that at least. I know how bad things must have been for you growing up, and I know it took you along time to learn to trust me. But now...it feels like you have actually opened up to me..something that you would never do before..."
That was so true, I was so insular it was unreal. I would always push people away because I was afraid of being hurt or let down. But now, I didn't have the energy to push Gold away any more.
Slowly I closed my eyes moving my face closer to his, to feel soft lips brushing against my own.
He inhaled sharply as our lips connected in a way that felt like Gold and I were attached, and always would be. I moved my arms and wrapped them around his fragile body, pulling him against me.
God... I wished I could have explained how I felt properly.
Right now all logical thinking and sense went right out the window, just this moment... with him was all that mattered. The kiss lingered for a while, with Gold slowly manoeuvring his tongue into my mouth, which caused me to moan softly.
Why was he such a good kisser?
It was slow, and gentle. No lust filled advances...no frantic dominance.. just slow and pure. And as my hand slowly reached out to grab a fistful of dark hair he slowly pulled away from the kiss, a little breathless.
Our eyes locked together as a breathless sigh escaped his lips.
"...you drive me crazy..." I mumbled, keeping my fingers entwined in his hair.
I watched as he smiled.
"I hope that is a good thing"
Instead of saying anything else I pressed my lips against his once again as my other arm wrapped around his fragile body. Slowly I moved so I was lying on the sofa with Gold on top of me, our lips never separating. Closing my eyes I sighed softly, feeling Gold's tender hands on my cheeks, moving downwards to my jawline, caressing gently.
This feeling... it was different than before. Before it was needy...lust driven but now, it wasn't. And I liked it.
Slowly Gold broke the kiss and sat upright with his knees either side of me.
"...I want you to promise me something" He murmured quietly.
Leaning up on my elbows I looked at him, never taking my eyes off his concerned features.
"And what's that?"
I heard him sigh, like he was thinking of the right words to say to me.
"...I want you to promise me... you won't...die tomorrow"
I blinked curiously as those words entered my ears.
Die? Why would he think that I would die tomorrow? Cyan was a bastard but I had a feeling even if he had the chance to he wouldn't attempt to kill me. No, instead he would probably try to kill some-one who I was close to...
"Where the hell did that come from?"
He shrugged weakly, eyes trailing down to my t-shirt. His hands moved so they started to fidget with the hem of the borrowed t-shirt.
"...I don't know...I just don't want that to happen"
I raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Gold.. do you really think I would let that happen?!"
Once again his face seemed crestfallen and I hated it.
So slowly I cupped his cheeks with my hands, turning his face to look at me directly.
"I will destroy Cyan... I promise you"
One of his hands gently placed itself over mine, as his eyes closed for a moment. He sighed softly.
"...is that even possible?"
"I'll damn well make it possible! There is no way I am going to let him get away with any of this. You just wait and see!"
And then I saw it. A weak smile, and for that moment it made me smile too.
But did I even have confidence in my own words? Would I actually be able to defeat Cyan? What would happen if I failed? But even so, I would cross that bridge when I came to it, and then I would burn it to the ground. Cyan was a dead man... that was something I was sure of.
Author's Note: Lemon will arrive next chapter people! So look forward to it! I hope you enjoyed part one of this chapter, part two should be done sooner than usual :) Please read and review, it makes me a very happy girl! Ciao!