The room that the gremlin led me to was not anything like I had imagined. Orihime Inoue had told us if the stark, bare chamber with its plain while walls, complete lack of furniture and single barred window that she had been held captive in in Las Noches (granted all of the walls, rooms and corridors in that place had been equally stark and bare but still...). I had thought Aizen would have settled on more of the same, but the room that the gremlin led me to was opulent almost to the extreme. The floor was covered in thick, plush patterned carpet, the furniture was of solid oak intricately carved, and all of the upholstery, hangings and cushions were of the most sumptuous of silks, satins and velvets. It was a room suitable for visiting royalty.

There were three large wide beds laid out side by side with silk and velvet draperies in colored to match their equally fine covers. The bed nearest the door was empty, but the other two beds held the unconscious forms of the red haired mortal girl and Rukia. I quickly scanned them to make sure they weren't damaged, but they seemed fine, just sleeping. I laid the other mortal woman out on the only other unoccupied bed and looked around. A bathroom was to one side of the beds and the only entrance/exit door was opposite a spacious room with an area for sitting, a small library with a knee desk, and a small round table and chairs for eating at. I found that one other door led to a smaller room with a young boy sleeping in his own bed in it, probably the long-searched-for son of Isana.

There was an enormous mirror in a frame of crystal and silver polished so brightly that it shone white, carved and decorated to look like a mirror made of frost directly across from the three beds. I looked unconsciously over at my reflection in the glass and it rippled and blurred out, as if it had frosted over, then it cleared, only now instead of my reflection staring back at me, I was looking at a memory of my old self as though I was looking through a window.

A young Rukia and a young me, both dressed in the white and blue and white and red uniforms from the Soul Reaper Academy, sat underneath a plum blossom tree in early springtime, Momo and Kira were walking down the way a bit. The first of my binding marks had freshly appeared on my forehead and Rukia rested comfortably back against me, not at all wary about using me as a backrest.

I remembered that day! It was the cherry blossom viewing festival in our fourth year, the one they held just after they held the exams to advance classes. We had just been given our students allowance (coming from nobility, most of the student body was accustomed to having in money so all students were granted a small allowance by the academy in an attempt to make things more fair, after all it wasn't right to punish students who performed well by prohibiting them from joining in social events due to lack of money, they were not able to work yet). I had used every last cent of the money I had been carefully saving from my previous four years SA's and the reward for "exemplary behavior in the field" given when Momo and Kira and I had faced down all those Hollows in that training excersize gone terribly wrong our first year... I had saved everything I'd earned during the Academy instead of spending it on Chappy merchandise and candy and food like Rukia had, I had saved it all to buy the most beautiful promise ring for Rukia. It was white gold with tiny diamonds in small snowflake clusters that sparkled brightly in the light. Granted, it hadn't had a big, impressive diamond but I'd figured she'd like that better since she was going to be working in a battlefield anyway, she wouldn't want something that could get caught on the wrapping of her sword or something.

I remembered well how nervous I had been. I'd spent the whole flower-veiwing festival with my stomach a knot of nerves and my face nearly constantly flushed while we'd strolled the fair grounds set up just outside the Academy grounds together. The ring I'd bought for her seemed to weigh a thousand pounds in my pocket as I'd waited for just the right time to talk to her. I'd had been sort of distracted repeating the words to announce my intentions over and over again in my head because I'd wanted to get it just right. I'd planned on asking her to be my girl that night under the plum trees when the fireworks were over with... but at the last minute I decided it would be better to wait a few days until I could finish my exams. At the time I'd figured that she wouldn't want to be with someone who had no certain future (there was no guarantee I'd get a spot in a squad after all) and it would be much better for me to ask her to be with me forever when she could be sure I'd have a way to provide a good life for her... and anyone else who might come along, so I'd reluctantly held my tongue and just enjoyed having a day out with her, saving the ring and all of its future promises for later, when I was sure I could make good on them.

The images in the mirrors played out before me like one of those Human World picture shows, and when the mirror showed the two of us, nestled comfortably under the blossom-laden branches of the plum tree (Kira and Momo had discreetly taken themselves off on a pretexts to go find more sweet sake) staring up at the bursts of fiery color painting the sky in sparkling flowers both of smiling in delight. We looked so damn young! The whole world seemed like it was spread out before us, and despite the pain we'd endured already, everything was still full of wonder because we'd weathered it all together, and the possibility of anything separating us at all seemed inconceivable.

:So young...:

But it was at that point, strangely that the imaged shown in the mirror changed from what had actually happened. The mirror showed a different reality, a world that would have existed if I had chosen the path not taken.

And I watched as the phantom me in the mirror that had never existed, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled the ring he'd got for Rukia from his pocket. He polished it quickly on the sleeve of his shirt and leaned a little forward with the mirror-Rukia wrapped in his arms. It was soundless, the soft words he murmured into her ears, but I didn't need to actually hear them to know what they were... they were indelibly written on my own memory, the words I had never said. He held the ring up before her face, offering her everything, and waited for her reply. I watched in regretful misery as the mirror-Rukia stared at the tiny ring, sparkling like a band of captured stars in the colored bursts of light, for a long moment, and her face slowly melted into a soft, real smile. There were even small tears that the young not-me probably couldn't see welling up in her eyes, I couldn't hear the reply but it was undoubtedly favorable, for the mirror-Rukia eagerly slipped the ring on her finger and kissed young the mirror-me with enthusiasm.

I watched in tortured fascination at the mirror flickered through images of a life that had never existed except only in a fantasy. The two of us married by Captain Aizen in a small, simple but meaningful ceremony a week after my early graduation and gaining a place in the squads. The Kuchiki's offer of a place within his House rejected due to Rukia already having a place. The two of us saving our paychecks, living in barracks for the first three years of our marriage so that we could afford a small but comfortable place in one of the residential districts. Me fixing the place up, Rukia adding homey touches. The two of us squabbling as usual over this and that but knowing that there would never come a day when we wouldn't make up. I looked away, my chest twisting in raw agony when I saw the phantom mirror-me hold his firstborn child, an exhausted Rukia in his arms as well (probably assuring him that she'd meant every death threat). Then the mirror-me showing that beautiful child to the friends he loved and the Captain he respected and worked for. And Aizen... how Aizen had watched that child. The false Captain congratulated both parents on bringing a truly exceptional child into the world. The parents that had never existed beamed on in pride at the compliment, but I, the real me watching on the outside, who knew what to look for, saw the glint of avarice in the Captain's eyes.

I turned away violently, gasping for breath and feeling so sick I nearly lost my lunch. The raw, agonizing envy and regret I felt about a life I didn't have and so very nearly could have was washed away by the horror I felt at the way things would have gone if I'd had my dearest wish. Sure, Rukia and I would have been together, Kuchiki would have been entirely out of the picture, and I would have had the life I'd always dreamed of... but when the time came for Aizen to make his move, as the mirror then proceeded to show me in terrifying, horrible detail, it wouldn't have been Rukia he'd set a trap for, it would have been our child. He would have destroyed that life and every other person that came across his path. No-one would have been powerful enough to stop him because Rukia would not have met Ichigo. She would not have transferred her powers to him, his friends would not have grown powers of their own, Ichigo would not have come to save her from execution thus forcing Aizen's hand prematurely and throwing a wrench in his plans. A thousand tiny coincidences, lined up like dominoes, would never have fallen, therefore not giving our side the chance to defeat him at all.

Aizen would have won.

The mirror silvered back over as soon as I stopped concentrating on it and then cleared showing only the reflection of my shocked face staring back at me as I absorbed the implications. If I'd been selfish and followed my heart instead of trying to be so responsible about thinking of the future, Rukia would have chosen me over Kuchiki, we would have been happy together, we'd have had a wonderful life with kids and a home and everything I'd ever dreamed of... and we would have lost it.

:Zabimaru,: I said internally when I got done shaking.

:Yeah?:

:I never, ever EVER thought I would see the day when I would think this... but I'm glad I gave her up to Kuchiki. If that's the kind of world we would have inherited if I didn't know the meaning to the word self-sacrifice then I'm glad I'm not that boy.:

:Well you weren't and you never will be,: Zabimaru said. :But of course, I already knew that.:

:I'll tell you one thing though, that about killed any regrets I feel about the Rukia business once and for all. Even if it never works out between us there's at least some small comfort in knowing that my sacrifice doesn't end up in pain all around, and that there is such a thing as the greater good.:

I didn't honestly know whether I could say the decision to let Rukia go despite what I wanted would have been more noble if I'd known the consequences of it. Letting her walk away because I believed it was best for her didn't seem as important as sacrificing the happiness we could have had together for the good of the Seireitei. The latter seemed like the kind of noble deed that a hero would take on, the decision that I had made to let her go to Kuchiki was only about the two of us. It was just the way I was, i believed that if I really loved someone, I should always do what I feel is best for that person, regardless of whether it what I want personally. I sort of wondered, if I had known then what had seen just now, would I have chosen let her go? It would have been very tempting to have those years of peace and happiness (and a baby!) with the woman I love.

:I think you would have looked at the cost of that transitory happiness and still done what you knew was right,: Babs said.

:Yeah, yer probably right,: I agreed after a long moment. :It would have been tempting though. Good thing that it's all in the past. Whether I knew it or not, I did do the right thing. Can't have love without it going hand in hand with sacrifice.:

It often seemed to me that modern people in the mortal world didn't seem to realize that fact for some reason. I could only assume that it was why their divorce rate was so high and climbing, everyone walked into these marriages thinking that they wouldn't have to give up a little bit of the person they were to become part of their life pairing. Meh, I was a death god so the thinking of mortal beings was a little different from mine.

:Anyway, enough woolgathering. We've got a lot to do, and probably not a whole lot of time to do it in. Let's go beard the evil overlord in his lair of iniquity.:

Hopefully I wasn't in over my head.

I took one last lingering look at Rukia, whom I could sense holding my heartstone hidden somewhat safely in her hands, and exited the chamber to see if there was anything Aizen was going to want me for immediately. No doubt he already had some devious test cooked up to either ensure or test my loyalty. With any luck, he still thought of me as a simpleton and so wouldn't be terribly interested in setting a close guard on me.

:Do you think it's a very good Idea to leave that mirror in the same room with those women?: Snakey questioned me. :I mean, you know what they're like, there's no telling what kind of things they'll use it to see.:

:Nah, I'm not worried about it. Isana's learned her lesson about just taking what she wants, Orihime's a good girl, and I trust no-one in the world more than I trust Rukia. I'm sure everything will be fine.:

And on that note...

Sorry it took me for freaking ever to post this chapter. It was one of those scenarios where I was never quite satisfied with the way it turned out. I'd had that Snow Queen Mirror idea floating around in my head as well as that scene of a different world but was never quite happy with the way I put it. anyway, enough of my artistic temperament. I hope you all enjoyed the recent post. Please tell me what you think (i'm still not sure I'm entirely satisfied with it...) but if you're all happy with it, I guess I'll have to let it be.