Chapter 40
At the bullpen…
Tony's sitting at his desk working. Suddenly, he noticed some smell. Like fish. He came closer to Kate's desk and grabbed her purse. He discovered a little lunch box that had a tuna-fish sandwich in it. He couldn't resist, so he took it.
Tony is sitting at Kate's desk finishing her sandwich. He took off the crust and left it on the table. Kate walks in when he takes the last bite.
"Tony! Is that my tuna fish sandwich?" She yelled angrily.
"Yes" he says with his mouth ridiculously full. Kate came closer to her desk to find crust sitting on it.
"Seriously? Crust? You're acting like you're five!" She cried.
" I was hungry!" He yelled back.
"So was I!" She said angrily.
"We're going to Abby, she'll decide who's right here" Tony said.
"Fine!" She agrees.
At the lab…
They both arrived at the lab. Abby notices them.
"Hey! What's up, guys?"She asked.
"We need you to decide who's right here!" Tony yelled.
"What?" Abby asked, obviously confused by Kate and Tony.
"Tony ate my sandwich!" Kate yelled.
"Oh. Guys, you're acting like babies. You need to solve this yourself. Plus I have some work to do!" She explained.
"Ducky!" They both yelled at the same time. They run to the elevator.
"Ok… That was weird" Abby whispered.
At the Autopsy…
They showed up at the Autopsy, still fighting.
"Oh come on Kate, I really didn't think you would notice!" Tony whined.
"Oh, so stealing food is okay, but nobody notices, huh?" Kate rolled her eyes.
"It wasn't stealing, it was sharing!" Tony said.
"It was my lunch; I wanted to eat my lunch!" She snapped.
"You're saying that because you don't like the word sharing!" Tony retorted. They get interrupted by Ducky, who was in the middle of a autopsy.
"Excuse me! Please, show a little respect, this is a place of peace and dignity" He shouted angrily.
"That was before Kate got here" Tony joked. Kate elbowed him hard in the ribs.
"Sorry, Ducky, we need a mediator, or I'll be going to Employee Relations. It's emergency" Kate turned to Ducky.
"That would be tattling" Tony inserted into the conversation.
"No, no. Talking about relations with someone is not tattling, Tony" Kate said.
"Which would be your version of telling mom" He continues.
"You're so juvenile!" She snapped at him.
"Am not" He argues.
"Are so!" She lifted her tone.
"Am not!" He lifted his tone angrily.
"Ducky. We need an unofficial mediator" She sighed.
"Did you try Gibbs? "He asked. Tony and Kate both looked at each other with a deep 'ooh'
"I see your point" Ducky muttered.
"We thought of McGee, but he's not here" Kate said.
"And we have no respect for him" Tony added.
"And then we thought of you" Kate smiled.
"I see. Third on the short-list. Well, at least I beat on Abby" He said, smiling.
"Well, we were just coming back from the lab" Kate said.
"She turned us down" Tony added.
"Oh" Ducky said, like he was offended.
"Come on, Ducky, she's driving me crazy here!" Tony pointed with his finger to Kate.
"Well, I am busy, but… I'll help you two. I didn't think you two would trust your relationship to me. It would rather be like marriage counseling" Ducky explained. Tony and Kate look at each other. Tony gasped.
"Oh, let's not use those words, Ducky" He added.
"Ducky, it is only a working relationship" Kate assured him. Ducky nodded and smiled.
"So, you'll do it?" Tony asked.
"Of course. I would relish the experience. Yes, indeed. I studied psychology at the University of Edinburgh" Ducky started, but was cut off by Kate.
"Ok, me first. I left my desk, just for a minute, and when I came back, Tony was eating half of my tuna fish sandwich" Kate said, looking at Tony angrily.
"Ok, see that? Wow! I'm hungry! We're buddies. It shouldn't be a big deal. But little Miss Twisty-Tight-y Pants thinks so, and then it becomes a major deal!" He yelled, losing his nerves completely.
"All you left me was the crust!" She yelled back.
"Oh, come on, who is right here?" Tony turned to Ducky.
"Come on, Ducky, please. Tell him" Kate looked at Ducky too.
"We need to look a little deeper" Ducky said finally, managing to escape the shock by their argument finally. "There is clearly a problem here. There is a competition between you two as siblings, expressed by your adolescent and sexually charged bickering. So, there is actually an underlying sexual tension here. And it all stands from the desperate need of father figure. And I think we all know who that is" Ducky explained, which confused Tony and Kate.
"What has that all have to do with my tuna fish sandwich?" Kate asked, bemused.
"There's no father figure here, Ducky" Tony slips in. Suddenly, elevator doors open and Gibbs shows up.
"I've been looking for you. The phone is ringing, and I have something important to tell you!" Gibbs exclaimed.
"On it, boss!" Tony answered while rushing Kate.
"I'm coming, Gibbs" Kate hurried.