When Rumpelstiltskin returned to the shop and didn't find his ex-wife he naturally assumed that she'd gone home. He hadn't heard anything on his phone and her home was the exact opposite of where the wraith had come from. He'd deliberately summoned the creature there so that the creature wouldn't hurt destroy her home or hurt her on his way to kill Regina.
But as the day and the evening wore on and he still didn't hear from her, he started to get worried. They were divorced but they still contacted each other four to five times a day. Why not? They didn't have anyone else. Well…now he had Belle but Dagian didn't have anyone but him. Her attempting to atone for being the anti-social Mrs. Gold was going to take a while and from what he'd seen of her attitude, she wasn't exactly eager to start making friends.
There was, however, a part of him that was glad that Dagian wasn't there when he brought Belle in. He still didn't know how he was going to introduce the two of them or explain exactly who Dagian was. How did he tell the true loved that he professed his love to that less than a week ago he was married to his first wife who he had originally given false memories to humiliate and hurt her but then when the time started passing he realized that maybe he could be happy and he entered into a relationship with her while she had her false memories and got her pregnant which resulted in her waking up and getting a divorce.
How was he supposed to explain to Belle that even with everything they'd put each other through, they had an odd friendship that was probably formed because of their unhealthy codependence on each other?
How was he supposed to explain to Belle that he loved his first wife but in a completely different way that guaranteed that she would never be a threat to what they had?
How was he supposed to explain the child they were going to have together and then deny there would be anything happening between the two of them ever again?
How was she going to understand that he thought she was dead and he'd accepted it and moved on with someone else with no question and that person that he moved on with hadn't wanted him? Well she had in her own little way. She'd taken comfort with his body just as much as he'd taken comfort with hers but that was as far as their relationship had ever gone.
But she wasn't there when he arrived with Belle and he was saved that awkwardness for a few more minutes at least.
But as the day passed on and the wraith came and went Rumpelstiltskin was now worried She hadn't answered her phone and if she was hurt because of the wraith…
He had taken precautions but that didn't mean it would work to his wishes. The wraith had done severe damage to the town and if she was hurt because of it and she lost the baby or the baby was hurt then he'd never forgive himself.
And then sometime after Belle left and Rumpelstiltskin went to go find his ex-wife to make sure she was alright he got a phone call that sent him in a blind panic.
His daughter had been born.
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Dagian kept her eyes focused on the tree outside her window while those that had false memories of a medical profession did their business around the room that she was lying in. Everything…hurt. They'd offered to give her some medicine to ease the pain but she had refused. She had enemies here and her baby was premature and she needed to be awake and alert in case something happened to either one of them.
"Dagian?"
Dagian looked to the door to see her ex-husband, anger filled her when she saw him and then focused back on the window, "SO you remembered me?"
He was quiet, "Are we going to honestly fight?"
"No," she said calmly, "I mean to be perfectly civil when you leave me alone to run off with your new little toy so you can release magic back here and that cost was the near loss of our other child."
The room was so quiet that she thought he'd left, "But we didn't lose her."
Dagian looked at him in a cold fury, "She's two months premature and I had to give birth to her in a man's bathtub because of what you did."
His eyes were full of guilt, and she knew that she was wrong but she didn't care. She wanted to blame him for something. The labor pains hadn't started until they were surrounded by the cloud. Dagian could deal with some stresses like being taken, she'd certainly dealt with being alone when Rumpelstiltskin was conscripted and nearly carried Bae to term. However, this magic was different and in her mind it was the cause for everything. She blamed him for the madman. She blamed him for being nearly alone when she was giving birth. He had told her that he would be there for the birth, he had promised.
And where was he when he KNEW that she was having complications? In the forest with her while Dagian was stuck with a madman in a house giving birth to their daughter in his bathroom.
"Dagian," he whispered and sat on the edge of her bed, "Dagian I did this for us and Bae."
"Magic comes with a price," she said and looked back at the window, "And I told you what that it could mean our daughter and you went ahead and did it anyway."
He put his hand on her shoulder and she flinched, he withdrew his hand, "I didn't mean for this to happen."
"You wanted to punish me, it worked. You nearly ripped away the last bit of happiness I had."
"NO!" he said angrily and forced her to look at him, "Don't you DARE say that!…I wouldn't do that and you very well know it! Not to our child and I promised that I wouldn't do it to you."
She knew he wouldn't but she was just so angry that she wanted to hurt him, "Please just leave me alone,"
"Dagian, I know you're angry but you must trust me."
"That trust is gone," she hissed.
"Was it even ever there?" he asked, "Or are we doing what we always do? Pretend forgiveness until the opportunity strikes to remind each other of our sins?"
Dagian ignored that, "Have you even seen her? Have you even seen what you did to her?"
He looked down and he looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, "I've seen her."
"Did you see how small she was?" Dagian asked.
"I've seen."
"That's because of you," she hissed and wiped away a tear, "You murdered Daius when I told you that he caused Bae's birth far too early and here you caused Lily's."
"It wasn't the magic, it couldn't have been."
She turned her head, "If anything happens to our daughter because you brought magic back, then I swear I'll come after you."
He was quiet for a few seconds and he got up, "I should leave you alone."
Dagian closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. The last thing she wanted to do was show him more weakness.
He looked back at her, "Was it true what I heard? That the madman brought you here?"
"Yes."
"And why were you with him, I wonder?"
Dagian tensed. She had the ball in her court, she knew and if it wasn't Rumpelstiltskin's fault that the baby was born early then it was most certainly Jefferson's. He'd risked her child's health to take her captive and force Regina's and her ex-husband's and. By right she should want him dead and she did.
But she was also quite aware of what Rumpelstiltskin had done to Regina for revenge. While Rumpelstiltskin and Dagian certainly weren't on good terms right now she knew he wouldn't hesitate to avenge what Jefferson had done to her and their daughter.
And while she was angry at him she knew that he was a desperate man and a desperate man did desperate things. She knew that better than anyone.
And he delivered Lily and made sure they got to the hospital. Dagian owed him at least that even if he may have caused her to go in labor in the first place.
"He found me wandering," she said, "He took me to his house after Belle showed up and you left with her. I went into labor and he delivered the baby."
Rumpelstiltskin studied her and she kept his gaze.
"That's it?" he asked.
"That's all that happened," Dagian replied and turned to focus on the tree outside.
Any debt she felt towards Jefferson was now paid.
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A few hours passed, and Dagian was certain that the nurses and doctors were paying attention to the others that were hurt so she slipped out of her room and limped to go find her baby.
Her daughter was the only one in the room and was in an incubator that reminded Dagian of a glass coffin. The very idea sent shivers down her spine and she struggled to keep from hyperventilating.
Lily was sleeping, so Dagian crept closer. She was so tiny, Bae was bigger but he was also a couple of weeks further along when Dauis had grabbed, threatened her and then sent her into premature labor.
Dagian never told Rumpelstiltskin how satisfying it was to hear his neck break even though she'd been horrified at the time. To tell him that would've meant that she'd lose part of her humanity and accept what he was all those centuries ago. And she did her best not to for all the good it did. It wasn't as if he listened to her anyway.
She watched her daughter for a few minutes and felt the tears forming. This was her fault, not Rumpelstiltskin's not Jefferson's. She wasn't strong enough to hold onto her baby. It was her fault that she was born two months early.
"I'm sorry, Lily," she whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't hold onto you. I'm sorry you're stuck in this little coffin. I love you, alright? Please be stronger than me and hold on. Just… forgive me, please don't die…you're the only thing I have left and I can't handle losing another child-"
Someone cleared their throat and it startled her, she turned expecting to see a doctor come to get her and take her back to her room. However it was only Archie Hopper or whatever his name was here. She turned away before Archie could see her crying, "Hello Doctor Hopper."
He looked flustered and adjusted his glasses, "It's…Jiminy Cricket actually, that's my identity in the Enchanted forest…I suppose that's who I am now."
She smiled wryly, "You'll always be Doctor Hopper to me."
"Ah. Right well…I guess you can call me that if you want to-."
"Can I help you with something?" she asked. She didn't mean to be rude and she hoped she didn't come off that way. But this was her time with her daughter and she wasn't certain how much she'd get.
"I heard about the birth. I wanted to see how you were doing. I want to see if you could…if you wanted to talk."
"Oh therapy? Well as much as I know I definitely need that; I can't pay you anymore Doctor Hopper," she said, "I'm going to be hard paying for sessions when I have a premature baby now."
"I don't-…you don't have to pay me."
"I'm not going to live off other people's charity," she told him, "I can rough it out, I've been doing it for this long."
"With all due respect Mrs. G-"
She looked up sharply, she certain wasn't that woman anymore, "My name is Dagian,"
"Right," he said, "I'm sorry."
"You didn't know," she replied and stared at her daughter's blue eyes, "It's fine and I'll be fine and you don't-"
"With all due respect and I know I'm stepping out of my bounds when I'm saying this but…I can see it in your eyes that something's wrong. That you need someone to talk to."
"I've never needed anyone to talk to in my life."
"Maybe that's your problem."
She looked at him, and he took a breath and continued, "I just think that you should talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me-."
"No, I Think it would be you," she said, "You're the only one that Dawn ever considered a friend."
"Really?" he seemed a bit shocked at that.
"She was horrible to you sometimes, I know but she liked and admired you."
"And how do you feel?" he asked.
"I don't think I know you well enough," Dagian stared at her daughter, "I feel like curling up under the covers and never coming out again. However I can't do that, can I?"
"It wouldn't be my recommendation, no."
She smiled slightly and rested her hand on the incubator. Her daughter deserved a better stronger mother than her, "I don't think I can do this."
"You'd be surprised at the strength one has when they're faced with a challenge that they're not sure they can overcome."
"But I'm not strong," she whispered, "I run. That's what I've always done. It's how I survived. But I can't do that with Lily now, I have to stay, and face it and I know that I'm going to be completely alone in this considering I just forced my husband...ex-husband away from me."
"You don't have to be alone, you do know that right?"
She looked down at her daughter and sighed, "How am I supposed to trust these people? They're wild, they're angry-"
"Not all of them are like that. And you're angry and spinning out of control too," he pointed out, "Listen, you don't have to call it therapy and you don't have to pay me. If you want, then we could talk as as... friends."
"You're about to have a very full plate and I have enough stories that'd probably put me in a psych ward which is probably not where I'd need to be to keep custody of my daughter"
"Well then I imagine you'll be happy to remember that I'm not a real psychiatrist," he whispered, "You'll know where to find me if you decide to talk.
He started to walk away and Dagian realized that if she didn't lower a defense right now then she probably never would, "I was kidnapped, right before magic returned. The madman that took Snow and Emma took me."
"Wait…someone took Snow and Emma?"
"It was when Snow was supposed to be in jail, no one was supposed to know." Dagian said over her shoulder and then focused back on Lily, "And while he had me, I gave birth without the father there and with no medical facility in sight. The only reason he let me go is because Lily was too early and he realized that holding me was pointless now that everyone got their memories back."
"That must've been…horrifying for you," he said coming back to her side.
"The fact that it really wasn't horrifying until I went into labor is horrifying in itself," she said and looked at him, "I've been taken before."
"Rumpelstiltskin?"
She nodded, "And I tried to cope with it by telling myself that I could love him again."
He was silent and she looked back at him, "Still wish to talk?"
She felt the tears welling in her eyes and she nodded, "I think you need someone to talk to more than ever."
He gestured to a couch, "There's a spot over here. I don't think anyone's going to bother us."
Dagian gratefully followed him to sit down.
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In one night Rumpelstiltskin was sure that he lost everything he cared about. Belle had walked out on him because he hadn't changed. And now seeing his daughter was going to be a fight because if Dagian didn't forgive him then she wasn't going to let him around his daughter and if he resorted to magic then how was he proving to her or anyone else that he was a fit parent?
So when he returned to the shop after visiting the hospital and not finding Belle, he pulled out the old spinning wheel.
Because with everything he'd done, he just wanted to forget.
Dagian was right. She had warned him and the magic came back and if she went into labor as soon as the cloud enveloped her then that was his fault. How was he supposed to redeem himself to his daughter if he was the reason that she nearly died?
How was he supposed to redeem himself to his son?
However, at least some of his fear was eased when he saw Belle creep back through the curtain and she saw the cup.
"And now you must leave," he told her, "You must leave because despite what you hope…I'm still a monster"
Only a monster would do what he'd done to his children.
She smiled and put her hands on his shoulders, "Don't you see? That's exactly the reason I have to stay."
He swallowed, now was the moment of truth he supposed, "We must talk."
She stared at him, completely oblivious to the weight of the news he was going to tell her, "Alright?"
"There are some things…that I've done that you should know."