He could hear her walking down the stairs, slamming the door. She must have been devastated. Probably she was crying, he was so sorry.
He went outside the attic and tried to catch a short look on Lisbon, it was dark and the street lights kept wrapping the city into a dusty fog. There she was. Almost running, her dark wavy hair floating in the wind. She tightened her coat and disappeared behind a dark corner.
Jane kept staring in the same direction for hours feeling the anger rising from his stomach, up to his dry throat, moving forwards to his head. He turned around, entered the room and went towards the metal door.
He didn't seem to be stopping, instead he made a fist and hit the door with all his anger and despair. The pain came quickly, he leaned forward and gave his aching head a rest on the cold metal thing that had kept them apart. Then he sank down on his knees. The last time he cried, it was because of Angela. The guilt made him cry then. Kristina Frye had brought up feelings he couldn't cope with.
This time, it was different, he started crying because he was not sure if he was able to look into Lisbon's, into Teresa's face again.
His thoughts made circular moves, he tried to catch them, he was exhausted from weeks without nights, full of adrenaline and fear from being discovered.
Then, his phone rang and he could catch a thought. It was No.
He ran to his mobile and saw a private number calling, his hands started shaking. He pressed the tiny green symbol when he heard the voice.
"Hello Patrick." It was Lisbon. He calmed down.
"Lisbon." She was breathing unsteady.
"I just wanted to tell you that right now Red John and I have a lot of fun together." Then the connection was gone.
No, he kept repeating. No. No. No.
No, while he ran down the stairs.
No, while the keys didn't want to open his car.
No, while he was crawling through the night in his blue vehicle.
After a short period of time which felt like ages he was there. He stood in front of Lisbon's appartement and there was a piece of paper, pinned to the wooden door.
Dear Patrick,
I love your chase and the conclusions you made. Did you like the video Lorelei made for you? She was a naughty girl. Now, she found peace.
I'm sorry, you didn't tell Teresa that you do love her. Never let a person go before things aren't sorted out. Noone ever told you that? We'll have a great time together.
And then, there was a smiley face. Patrick pulled the open door and turned on the light. His body was out of control but he couldn't afford a break down right now.
He knew it from the moment he said Love you to Lisbon that she would become a target, the target. Taking her away from him would destroy every piece of hope he had gathered in the last years. He wanted to make it right, was trying to tell himself that he didn't have any feelings, deny the thoughts about her, the smiles she gave him. In the end, he couldn't leave it unsaid anymore.
Especially not after Lorelei had pointed it out very quickly, after Sean had mentioned it. Lisbon wanted to talk to him a year ago, he pretended not to remember which was ridiculous, of course. Lisbon wanted to talk in the car, he cut her off. Why? Because he was a jerk, pushing away the person that was closest to him, the person that could give him support whenever needed. The person he obviously did love.
He sat down at the desk and felt helpless, Red John didn't even give him a hint where he could find her. What was he doing to her? He should call Rigsby and Cho, and van Pelt. They might help him, but then again his wasn't even able of taking out his phone. His head sank down, it wasn't what he expected to happen, he should have run to find the woman but the strength was gone. And only emptiness and fear remained.
Then he saw it. The frog. The one that was able to jump. The sheet was yellow and old, it must have been here for years. He once gave it to Lisbon and she kept it. He looked at it closely, someone had unfolded it and he could see letters. While destroying the present he gave her once a text was appearing.
This took a while, but you are a clever boy. Come play. Love your attic.
And then he ran again, leaving the apartment, crossing the street, jumping in the car, jumping out of the car and there he was. Standing in front of his own attic, the cold metal door grinned at him and said come in, this will be fun.
He was playing a pretty sadistic game, Red John brought her to his attic. He was insane. But this time, he was pushing it too far, Jane wouldn't let this happen. Again. He took a deep breath and tried to open the door.
It was closed. And then he heard her scream.
"Patrick."