A/N: Hello! So I've decided to keep this story and getting this one done.

I realized that the odds of me finding someone who would actually take this story in a direction that I liked was pretty small so I figured I should upload this. I do have a general plot planned.

I do have a question though, I really want you to answer this. Please?

Do you want her to be with Paul? Or should I take it in a different direction? Maybe something with Alec? Or do you have a completely other suggestion? Anything at all will be helpful! :D

Read away,

Wikked.

We all sat around the table and all the guys started to take huge amounts of every dish on the table. I myself took smaller amounts of food but I guess I still ate a lot for a girl.

"Oh, and be careful when you try that orange thing over there, I made that by myself so I doubt it even has a hint of good taste," I said, just warning everyone so they wouldn't take a huge bite and puke.

They all looked at me and all at the same time they picked up a piece and ate it.

I looked at them, holding my breath.

"It's actually not that bad," Quil said.

"You're kidding right?" I said in disbelief and looked at them seriously. "It taste horribly doesn't it?" I asked.

"Don't hate us but yes. It's horrible," Jacob said and laughed.

"It's not horrible but maybe it could use some changes," Paul said, trying to smooth things over.

"That's what I thought," I said. I had actually gotten my hopes up for a second there. Gosh, I guess I really did suck at cooking. Deep down I had always hoped it was a coincidence that all the food I cooked the last 41 years had tasted awful.

"Are you disappointed?" Jared asked and grinned.

"A little actually. But I guess I had it coming," I said and grinned back.

"So where have you been in your life? You must've seen a lot of places!" Seth asked, the always optimistic one.

"Oh, I have! I've been lots of places. Even out of America. I was in Venice once, it was so beautiful but it was extremely foolish of me but I was having a bit of a stupid and suicidal time there," I said, I was going to continue but someone interrupted me.

"Why was it foolish to be in Venice?" Embry asked.

"Well, The Volturi is in Italy so I was pretty much on their territory. They are the ones that are hunting me," I explained and they nodded. "Oh and I was in Africa and saw a bunch of super cool, wild animals. I've also been to the Niagara falls," I said.

"Wait, what did you do there? With the locking yourself up part," Sam asked.

"Well, I only turn once a month so when it was time I made sure that I was in a place that nobody would be. Once I turned in the Sahara dessert. That was a very warm and dry experience. It took me very long to find myself out. Water was extremely hard to come by. Luckily I can't starve to death or die of dehydration. Of course it's a very unpleasant feeling though," I said.

"Wow, you've seen and done a lot in other words," Seth said amazed.

"Yeah, it's easy to do so when you're more or less indestructible," I said happily.

"I wish I could do all those things," he dreamed.

"In the end there's only one thing that truly matters, and that's the one thing I can never have," I said and he looked at me wondering. "Love and a place called home. That's the most important thing in life. I can't stay too long at the same place, the longer I stay the bigger the risk the Volturi comes," I explained.

"You'll have to leave?" Paul asked upset.

"Yeah, one day. From how I understand it The Cullens are in pretty close contact with the Volturi from time to time. That is very dangerous for me," I said sadly. I knew I hadn't seen any of them for long but I really liked Paul somehow. He seemed to care.

"So, where would you like to go next than?" Seth asked happily.

"I don't know. I was planning on living in Alaska but that's when I met the Cullens. So either I go back there or I may visit Hawaii or Iceland," I considered.

"Hold on, where do you go on full moons here?" Leah asked after a while of quiet. I had told them about the tunnels and they knew that there wasn't any here.

"Well, The Cullens have a cement basement so I wolf out there and they guard me. Since they're so many they can keep me down there. It does strain my body quite a deal though," I explained. "On the plus side I get some wicked battle scars," I added and winked.

"Really, can I see?" Seth asked hyper.

"Sure," I said and began showing them various scars of different sizes around my body.

They awed as they saw some of them and heard the stories behind them. All except for Paul, he just looked at me sadly.

XXX

I ran through the forest trying to find somewhere safe. But it was too late. I was too late.

I could feel the insanity slowly taking over, the monster inside of me itching to get out. I was too late. After everything this was the way I would go down. I had fought and hid for so long and now it was all for nothing. I was going to turn, and it was going to be in public. I would go on a rampage and the pack or the Cullens would have to kill me to stop me. There was no other way. If they didn't they would be held responsible for the destruction. They would have to face the Volturi.

I felt the panic growing as I desperately tried to get away as far a possible. But it was too late. I was too late.

I felt my spine as well as all my bones breaking.

I let out a scream and fell down to all four.

My bones started rearranging and the pain grew. It became more and more unbearable.

In the distance I could hear something getting closer. It wasn't just one, it was a pack and it was getting closer by the second.

I felt as my hands grew and claws appeared where my nails used to be.

I cried loudly.

My back arched as my body was letting the monster out.

I looked up to see the pack of humongous wolves starring at me. I sensed a hint of sadness as I saw them.

I screamed as I felt my teeth growing into fangs. My jaw broke as if it was adapting to my now much larger teeth.

I closed my eyes desperately as I felt them changing.

I tried clinging onto my mentality, not letting the monster win but no matter how hard I tried, it was inevitable. I was going to lose. That is how it is and that's how it will always be.

My clothes was ripped and destroyed long ago. My legs had stretched out and changed into the form of a dog.

I was becoming the monstrous mix between a wolf and a human.

I gave my friends one last look before I lost to the monster.

My monster growled victoriously.

I woke up with a scream, sitting up.

Rosalie ran in with a worried look on her face.

I panted and looked at her tiredly.

"What happened?" she asked and sat down next to me on my bed.

"Nightmare," I sighed and put a hand to my sweaty forhead.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was nothing special, I dreamt I turned outside in the free," I said calming down.

"You know we wouldn't let that happen, we would never let anything happen to you," Rosalie said and hugged me. She left to give me a minute to recover before I walked downstairs.

Rose and I was very close friends. I think we connected over the fact that we both got our lives taken away from us. Neither one of us could get what we wanted and we took comfort in that we wasn't alone.

I was of course close with everyone but Rose, Emmett and Esme was the ones I was closest to, without a doubt.

It had been about month since Edward and I had that fight by the road and we hadn't spoken since. He refused to apologize and I refused to have anything less than a whole hearted apology. So all in all we were very much stuck.

It was almost time for a full moon again and I was not looking forward to it. Partly because I never did but also because Sam had demanded that they had a hand in preventing me to get out. I was a danger and La Push were a neighbor to Forks. I understood him and didn't blame him but the truth is that I loath that they had to see it. It wasn't something I was proud of, it was something I was a shamed of.

I took a quick shower and went downstairs.

Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle and Rose was in the livingroom watching TV. I got to the kitchen and grabbed a croissant. While chewing on it I walked over to Emmett to see what they were watching.

"Seattle, what's going on?" I asked confused when I saw the terror on the screen.

"Someone is making a newborn army," Jasper said glancing at me.

"An army?" I gasped. "Why?"

"We don't know..." Carlisle said worried.

"Hold on. If someone is making an army the Volturi is sure to get involved! Seattle isn't that far from here!" I exclaimed terrified.

"The Volturi doesn't even know you are here so Seattle should be good enough," Emmett said trying to calm me down.

"What if they decide to meet up with their old friends? Huh, what then?"

"They don't know who you are so if you stay in La Push or similar you should be fine," Carlisle said calmly.

"You can't ask me to risk this, being in the same country as them is too close, much too close!" I urged.

"Maybe she's right... December and I could go travelling for a couple of months," Rosalie proposed, not wanting to lose her friend.

"If this many vampires is created so close to us we can't rule out the possibility that they are coming for us. We can't risk letting you go, Rose," Emmett said sadly.

I sighed and began thinking of my options.

I could leave, travel by myself but if the Cullens were targeted I didn't want to just leave them. I knew I would be useless but just ditching them wasn't an option I liked. I could stay but the odds of bumping into the Volturi would be very big. Was it really worth the risk?