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I had decided I was going to leave. Ashamed beyond measure I had told the Cullens that I was abandoning them. They had been kind though, saying that they understood and supported my decision. Depending on how things ended I was planning to come back though. If not for them than for Paul. Paul and I hadn't really had the time to connect yet. We were like strangers that knew we belonged together. It was quite confusing. We had decided that I was for the time being going to leave and than we could get to know each other. Becoming what ever we were suppose to be. What did I even want us to be? I didn't know this guy? I had never been in a relationship? What did you even do in one?

I had asked Paul why he never said something sooner or why he never showed his emotions more. Apparently Sam ordered him to lay low about it until they had seen me turn and knew me a bit better. I didn't blame him about this either. People should stay away from me if they could. A new species just appearing out of the blue must make the pack uneasy. They were never told of my kind so naturally they must be worried, they were kind though. It was clear that they didn't have anything against me as a person only the monster within me.

XXX

I was in my car driving away from Forks, La Push and all that it included. I didn't want to go too far, they were my friends after all. On some twisted level I also considered them family as well. Who leaves family when they're about to enter a war? Me apparently, and I felt shitty about it.

For 41 years I had looked after number one. Me. No one else in my life to care about or give a second glance. That made its marks, my instincts told me to leave. To be alone. That was the way it had always been. It was the way it would always be.

I parked the car by a motel far enough away from the fight and walked to the check in.

"Hello, I'd like a room please," I said, looking around me worried.

I could sense that a lot of vampires were heading to Forks. They tickled my senses.

"How many nights?" The gray-haired man asked rather rude.

"Two please." I could start with that at least. I could stay longer if I needed.

I paid and got my room key. Room number 26.

I unlocked and saw the stinking room that I was suppose to live in the coming days. It was vial, the floor was discolored and the walls had stains all over them.

"Great." This was wonderful, among the most gross places I'd been and I was not exactly young.

I threw my bag on the floor and started pacing. The fight should have started now...

What if it ended bad?

What if someone got hurt and I was here safe and sound not giving a damn?

I finally found someone to care about who gave me love back and I just abandon them? What on earth have I been thinking?

No! I can't go back. The Volturi may come, I can't risk it.

So you're willing to dump the people who took you in and helped you to feel human again? The people who made you to feel less disconnected from the world. The people who stopped you from just going through the motions. You're dumping them... Just like that?

I was debating with myself in the stinky motel room.

I needed to do something, I couldn't just sit here.

I walked to a nearby store that sold pretty much everything between Heaven and Hell. I walked between the metal shelves looking at glow-in-the-dark nail polish, horror movies, candy from different countries and found something called "Ahlgrens Bilar" which was some sort of car candy from Sweden. I also found a grown-up section which had XXX-rated movies, toys and clothes no one reasonable would wear. At least not in public.

I ended up buying that candy, one of those nail polishes in a blue colored that was apparently called "lunar blue". I figured it would fit me. I found Top 10 horror movies- collection and figured that would be fun to watch with Emmett. I did not find anything that tempted me on the grown-up shelves. Thank god. I did find a bunch of books to kill time with though.

I got back to my room and groaned to the stench that hit me right in the face.

I sat down on the bed and once again began fighting the thoughts of going back.

I picked up one of the books, Dracula. It was a very big book. Many pages and looked very interesting. I decided to try and concentrate on that.

No! I couldn't leave them! Not like this.

I ran out to my car, threw my bags and all the shopping in the passenger seat and stepped on the gas.

I passed car after car, driving as fast as I could. It was probably a miracle I was still alive... Well, a car accident could never kill me but you get the point.

Hold on, what was my plan? Stomp into the middle of the fight and do what? I was useless, I couldn't fight vampires, not in this state.

That would have to be a latter issue.

I drove a little faster, shocked that it was possible. The trees flew by so fast that you couldn't tell them apart. It was like a green massive wall hovering over the road.

XXX

I stopped by the Cullens house and ran into the forest. I knew the location, it would take a while to get there though. But I get points for trying though? Right..?

I paced through the woods, seeing so many different kinds of trees. Some tall and slender, some rather wide but short and some were in the middle. Mice sprinting across the ground, squirrels collecting nuts and birds chirping beautiful melodies. It was truly a peaceful moment in the midst of chaos. Nature was beautiful, it was miraculous.

While in awe for the beauty around me I felt the presence of vampires again. I must be getting closer. I slowed down and became more careful. I couldn't bump into just anyone, that would be dangerous.

To my horror and despair I found that four vampires were walking towards me. It wasn't just any vampires though. It was Jane and Alec, Aro's most important members. The witch twins, or that's what I had been told. They were very young, probably twelve or thirteen years old. Alec had light brown hair and was slightly taller than his pale brown haired sister. With them was Demetri and Felix. I knew who they were as well. Demetri was a slender, male tracker. Very dangerous. Felix on the other hand was humongous, both tall and muscular. They only shared the black hair on their heads. Luckily I had never met them before so hopefully they wouldn't think twice of me.

The ones who hunted me that time so many years ago was Santiago and Afton, they're not very high up in ranks so I should be okay.

Keep calm, don't let your heart speed.

I started turning slightly, so I could pass them on the side without having to look at them.

I was getting closer and walked as humanly as I could. Just be the innocent human, December. No one special. I was just about to pass them when the girl, Jane, looked at me.

"Stop," she demanded.