I've kind of lost interest in this story, because lets be honest here it's got a pretty terrible excuse for a plot. I do want to try and get some major details down before I stop writing it though.

Also having said that I would also like to thank everyone who's managed to read this far.

You have my enormous gratitude.

-BBO

Bureaucracy.

The entirety of the Shadow Isles seemed to be fuelled by it, and every infuriating second where Mordekaiser had to deal with it only served to fill him with disgust.

"Where are my useless fucking soldiers?!"

Even though a quick search would have given him the answer to the question, Mordekaiser was not in the mood to solve problems.

"KALISTA!"

Somewhere nearby there was a sound of glass shattering, which had happened far too often to be a problem. Kalista not showing up however….

"KALISTA!"

"You called…?"

30 seconds late. She was slacking. And that was punishable.

"Why in damnationdid you take so long?!"

"My business is my own. "

"Imbecile. Where are my soldiers!? Why aren't they training!?"

"They trained, as much as I deemed necessary. Then they ceased."

"They CEASED TRAINING!? IDIOT! They could be invading foreign soil right now if not for your laziness and habdashery!"

"Yes, send them over so we can lose them. If I didn't know better I'd swear that…"

Amusingly Kalista was interrupted by a shockwave that left Mordekaiser the only one standing out of the two.

Hue.

Wait what!?

Something had fallen out of the sky nearly directly on top of the forge. And the forge was next to the armoury. And that was too unusual to be pure luck.

"Find your feet imbecile! We have to get to the armoury!"

Irelia wasn't sure to be amazed or completely mortified at the headache she was suffering from. For one thing, it seemed to be the only injury she had obtained from fighting Noxians the day before. On the other hand, if it was hurting as much as it did...she should probably talk to someone about it when she got out of the house. Although only when getting up didn't make it worse. What felt like a couple of hours passed, before she slowly began to sense the smell of something cooking from downstairs. Of course knowing that nobody else would be in the house at this time in the morning, Irelia dismissed it as a weird sort of hallucination. Then a cupboard door slammed. Someone else was definitely in the house. And Irelia was certainly not going to let someone run wild around her house without at least telling them to stop making a racket first. Assuming that she could walk over to the kitchen, at least.

One step.

Staggering isn't as hard as I thought.

Ten steps. Someone was definitely cooking down the hallway.

Twenty steps. Someone had gone out of their way to shut the massive doors to the kitchen.

Twenty-five steps. Irelia was completely confident she would die or stop hallucinating as soon as she attempted to open the doors, but she pushed them open anyway.

Nothing happened. Soraka, looked up from the small fire roaring in the centre of the kitchen, looking rather foolish in an apron that wasn't even close to fitting her,

"Good morning Irelia."

"Are…Did someone tell you I was unwell?"

The expression on Soraka's face changed so briefly if Irelia hadn't already been staring, she never would have noticed it.

"Are you unwell?!"

There was something unusual about the conversation but Irelia couldn't quite grasp exactly what it was. Soraka seemed to be either overly concerned, or attempting to apologise for something, or both.

Of course it was clearly going to be the first option but still…

"It's just a headache, that's all. Would this have anything to do with you being in my house at 10 in the morning?"

"Can…can you remember what happened last night?"

"I…."

Casting her mind back, Irelia couldn't actually think of a single thing that had happened since being out on the battlefield, despite remembering every single thing beforehand.

Am I slowly losing my mind?

There has to be a normal explanation…..

She remembered everything except for that gap in her memory.

Soraka was at her house making sausages and eggs.

It had to be serious or…

"Soraka…was I drinking a lot last night?"

"You...might have had a little too much to drink last night."

As she felt something violently force it's way up her throat Irelia instantly agreed.

"I'll be right back!"

If there was anyone sleeping in the same bed that she had been up until ten seconds ago, Akali was about to snap their neck like a twig.

I have absolutely no idea how I got here.

That was enough of a reason for her to slam her arm down across where the other occupant of the bed was.

Or should have been.

Completely awake after her assault failed, Akali triple checked checked the entirety of the small room around her, only to find it completely empty. Then instantly throwing the sheets off she blushed a deep shade of crimson.

Complete nudity on her part….was not what she had been expecting.

Wha-

How-

Shit!

Shitshitshitshit!

As threateningly as she could while terrified and completely unarmored, she quickly surveyed the room for her clothes before ransacking through the sheets underneath her.

No result.

What the fuck happened to me?!

Collapsing onto the bed and about to give up all hope she suddenly noticed one of her boots next to the bed half hidden under the sheet and diverolling straight off the bed to retrieve it, she pulled the sheets to one side.

Her dress was there. Her other boot was there. The only thing she couldn't find was her mask.

And Akali was not about to let something that trivial from finding out who did this to her.

I'm going to finding the person or the people who did this. And when I do, I'm going to o teach them a lesson.

A fatal lesson.

Mordekaiser had to admit that whatever had crashed into his castle certainly had a lot of courage. That and the guards were all completely inept at the best of times, but winning while outnumbered 30-1? That took skill. It was a shame that out of all the places to land it had chosen the armory and that alone meant he needed to make a particularly brutal example. If he could just catch up to it…

Oh look, they've vanished here as well. One more hallway and he'll have cleared the entire armory.

And here it is. Empty.

I need better guards.

Unless this creature was completely insane it had gone too deep into the armory to even hope to make it out. Reinforcements were approaching, Mordekaiser was between the creature and the only way out, and there was no way for it to access the only weapon this far down.

Speaking of which…

"I wouldn't try that if I were you. Unless you don't value your life very highly."

The good thing about being undead was that sometimes security became hilariously easy. And being able to control undead made it surprisingly efficient as well.

"An undead barrier. Is this the height of Shadow Isles magic?"

"It's worked fool. Now surrender your life to me!"

Then the creature swung its sword and shattered the barrier completely.

How the….?

If it wasn't for desperation, Mordekaiser would never have been able to land magic from where he was standing, which seemed to have encouraged the creature to take a swing at him at the very least. There was a clang of something hitting metal, which sent Mordekaiser screeching backwards and left the creature seemingly uninsured.

"Children of the-"

The wall behind the creature collapsed and spears went flying into its midriff, which would have been acceptable had the creature not already grabbed the Blade of the Ruined King from the pedestal.

Mordekaiser roared. Kalista pulled what must have been 15 spears out of creature at once. .

Then, despite clearly being injured, the creature took off again, taking the most potent weapon from the Shadow Isles with it.

With Irelia vanishing into the house as soon as Soraka had gathered the audacity to mention the events from last night, there was little more that she could do than sit and wait quietly for her to return, while trying to suppress the thought that Irelia could already be miles away.

How long has it been since she disappeared?

A quarter of an hour?

Is that enough time for her to never have to see me again?

No. She's not abandoning me. She'd be a lot more straightforward than this.

I think….

"Irelia…?"

Unable to sit around with even the tiniest prospect of Irelia fleeing, and not yet ready to leave, Soraka was just about to search the house herself when Irelia poked her head into the room.

"I'm…I'm not feeling very well…"

"Have you got a headache? Muscle pains? Shortness of breath?. Muscle pains?"

"Soraka."

"Are you sure you don't need to lie down?"

"It's a hangover. I'm sure that…"

"I'm just going to check for any lingering injuries!"

With every attempt to latch onto Irelia missing Soraka didn't notice until too late Irelia was going red in the face.

"Soraka, I'm fine..just...just go AWAY!

Unsure of what had just happened, Soraka recoiled from Irelia so quickly she nearly fell over.

"Just..Soraka…if you could leave me alone for a few seconds.."

"I'm a healer. I'm trying to help!"

"Well I don't need help! It's just I've got a hangover and…you've never treated a hangover have you?"

Irelia let out a deep sigh, which Soraka was absolutely certain meant she was going to get forced out of the house.

"Go find me some bananas will you? For the hangover."

"How do bananas…"

"Just go before I have to kick you out. "

Killing people was simple for Akali. Interrogation however, was likely to be far more useful. As long as she sounded convincing...

The rest had already come naturally.

"Where are we?"

The speed at which Akali had forced the man to the ground seemed to indicate that he had no idea what was happening. And that meant the chances of tracking down her kidnapper were getting smaller by the minute.

"You…You're in the Bannered Mare! A tavern! In the. Placidium!"

The trick was to get as close to killing them as you possibly could…

"You're LYING!"

"No! Please! I'm telling the truth!"

"Who brought mehere?!?!"

"I-I don't know!"

"What do you mean, you don't know?!"

"I was aslee-Argh!"

"Stop lying to me!"

"Alright! You win!"

Now we're getting somewhere.

"There was a-an actress! Dressed a-as a kumiho!"

"Dressed as a what?"

"She left this morning! She was the only person I saw leave! I-I'm telling the truth I swear!"

There's no way that's a lie. It's too absurd.

…

I need serious help.

"If you tell anyone, anyone about this, I'll kill you in your sleep.

No answer other than a few shallow breaths.

"Understood?"

Not that she needed an answer anyway.

"A-Are you going to pay for the room?"

Despite her training, Akali found that choking the innkeeper into unconsciousness actually seemed to have lifted her mood slightly, even though she had no idea what she was going to do. On paper, finding Shen and Kennen seemed simple. In truth however...

What would Shen do in this situation?

He'd be discreet, but he'd have to tell someone. But who?

The answer was so obvious she was amazed she had to think of it.

Anyone.

He'd tell anyone he knew could help if it meant he could continue the path of the Kinkou.

And I should be doing the same.

But how to find someone important...

Then someone with skin the same colour as the sky walked right past her and an idea clicked into place.

This plan is practically foolproof.

Kalista glaring at him was not something that Mordekaiser appreciated, but he could hardly be bothered telling her to flee back to whatever hole that she had come from. There were far important matters at hand.

"And how did he get the Blade of the Ruined King exactly?!"

"He broke the barrier of course!"

"He BROKE the barrier."

"Have your senses left you, revenant?

"The undead barrier which you created to guard the most important weapon in the entire arsenal and he BROKE it."

"Kalista I'm not entirely sure if you have lost all your senses or are just no paying attention but either way you are continuing to be a MASSIVE WASTE OF MY TIME!"

"I'm not ignoring you I'm just pointing out that you attempting to use the Blade for your own benefit like a treacherous worm wouldn't surprise me in the last!"

"You. Are accusing me. Of smuggling the Blade away from where I need it, and somewhere else where I don't for a nonexistent scheme which I DON'T NEED!"

Fortunately for both of them, Kalista steered into Mordekaiser's hands by abruptly changing the topic.

"Then where exactly are you going?"

"Ionia."

"And why would that be?"

"Because of a remarkable coincidence that occurred a few days ago."

"And can you tell me about this coincidence?"

"No."

"Mordekaiser as a warrior I respect you immensely but if you are to continue, based on this mysterious coincidence, I will have to hunt you down for treason."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yes."

"Because I may not be the smartest Lich in the Shadow Isles, but these coincidences that I have spotted, which I don't have to mention to you, go together like my mace and a mortals dead body! So if you even try anything before I return in the next 4 days, I will hunt YOU down, line my mace up with your head and FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF!"

Silence. Kalista didn't seem to be even remotely intimidated, but he hadn't been expecting her to be.

"You have 72 hours before I report you for high treason."

"Fuck off."

Kalista, no doubt satisfied that Mordekaiser hadn't murdered her on the spot walked off, leaving Mordekaiser to think to himself about his plan. Not that it needed changing in the slightest, because it was of course, his idea.

All I have to do is draw the demon out by killing the woman who escaped me earlier, and I've even convinced that idiot undertaker to help!

This plan is practically foolproof!