What do you know of regret?
"Mom?" René's voice was soft and worried as Serene sat and tried to order her thoughts. "I am sorry."
"Your name is René?" Serene asked quietly. She had been hoping to meditate, but this girl was hovering. Harriet had gone to do something, They were on a ship, that was obvious from the drive rumble through the deck plates. She sat on the bed on which she had woken. "I do not remember you."
"I know." René said sadly. "They... I was trying to be good. I swear I was. I didn't... know." Serene looked at the younger her. It was... very odd, but she was still detached.
"What do you know?" Serene asked after a moment. "What happened?" She couldn't get loose from whatever was holding her emotions at bay. So for now, she was stuck. But she would not surrender.
"I... It isn't clear." René said with a small whimper. "I remember you. They told me -us- you were our mother. That you loved us, but you were hurt. I tried to help." René pleaded. "I tried. They were mad. It... it hurt." She slumped a bit. "You don't believe me."
"I don't know what to believe, René." Serene said truthfully. "After so many lies, how can you build trust?"
"I don't know." René slumped. "I probably wouldn't know anyway. I am all messed up. I have always been... slow. And now I am big and clumsy. I feel all weird and it is all wrong. I hoped... I hoped you could help. But you don't know me." Serene looked at her and René sighed. "I... should go. You want to be alone. I am bothering you."
"Go rest, René." Harriet's voice sounded from the door. Serene did not look at the clergywoman. She jerked as René slipped close and planted a light kiss on her cheek. "René..." Harriet wasn't angry, more worried. But the touch wasn't what made Serene jerk. The touch... Something felt familiar. And not in a good way.
"I will sleep now, Sister Harriet." René said in a defeated voice. "I... hope you feel better, Mom."
"René." Serene held out a hand. "Wait... Come here." The girl stared at Serene, hope welling. She sidled close, more... a beaten dog than a young woman. Serene took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I don't know what will happen. But thank you for your concern." The feeling from the girl... She knew it. Intimately. René kissed her hand and then was gone. Serene could hear her crying as she ran.
"What?" Harriet asked when Serene looked at her. "That was kind, but not just kindness. You do nothing without a purpose."
"What happened to her?" Serene asked, scrutinizing the clergywoman. "She is obviously hurt."
"And it is not something we can fix." Harriet agreed. "I doubt even Tenno medicine could fix it." She shook her head. "Do you know what 'autism' was?"
"An ancient genetic disorder. A lack of development in certain parts of a human's brain." Serene said quietly. Dust's misadventures had galvanized a lot of people into researching the ancient, thought extinct, malady. "Her brain did not develop past a certain stage?"
"Our doctors figure she is about five years old mentally." Harriet said with a nod. "And she will not get any better." Serene stared at the clergywoman and Harriet frowned a little. "And before you ask, we found her the way she is. Exactly as she is. If cleaner, healthier and a bit more articulate now."
"Someone..." Serene took a deep breath. The anger was there, but it was not touching her. "...did that to her."
"More than one." Harriet said quietly. "And more than once. We went back, searching for evidence after you tore through the place. We found her, living in a nest that had apparently been a cryo chamber at some point. As she is."
"A cryo chamber." Serene said softly. Harriet nodded. "How long alone?"
"A week perhaps." Harriet said with a shrug. "There is no way to be absolutely sure. But from... the residue... She was there for a week. Sleeping, eating a little. Then sleeping more. She was... badly hurt."
"Who hurt her?" Serene asked, trying to wrap her mind around this.
"Ars Lonrack did at first. When she did not do as he wanted. When she did not get you to break." Harriet said with a nod. "Then her brothers."
"Her... brothers..." Serene was suddenly glad she couldn't feel her emotions.
"I do not know what he thought he was doing." Harriet's slight curl of lip was probably a full on grimace for anyone else. "The records are...garbled. Both from what you did and apparently from what he was doing to keep his failures from getting him downsized." She shook her head. "But the results are clear. They made five children from you, using automated systems repurposed for the task. They made them quickly, with no safeguards. They did not intend any to survive apparently."
"René did." Serene said slowly. Harriet nodded. "So I assume all of these... kids are messed up?"
"You could say that." Harriet's voice held an edge of horror now. Probably a scream that she would never be able to express. "We were not the first people to search the facility. A salvage team was sent first. They cracked the cryo chamber. But the cryo had already failed. The safety systems worked, revived them. But... The five had been in there, for who knows how long, alone except for each other. And René was the only female."
"Are you saying... René's brothers..." Serene felt horror edge past whatever was holding her.
"Yes." Harriet said quietly. "From the... evidence, several times each."
"What the hell did they eat?" Serene asked, stunned.
"There were emergency supplies in that chamber." Harriet said softly. "But they were... ravenous when the team breached the door. The team had no idea what was inside the door and once they breached it, it was too late. We found... very little left. They ate... almost everything of the team. All that was left was the gear and clothing, most of it in pieces."
"Eating people, breeding their sister..." Serene said with a swallow. "They sound like animals, not children."
"They are." Harriet sounded slightly sick. "But it gets worse."
"Of course it does." Serene said with a sigh. "What else?"
"They are smart." Harriet replied and Serene went cold. "Once the breach team went offline, the rest of the salvage crew tried to flee. The... boys got into the ship somehow. They did not kill all of the crew. They must have taken a few prisoner. They would not have known how to operate the ship otherwise." Serene stared at the clergywoman, beyond horror now. "They probably thought René was dead. She was badly dehydrated, had rampant infections and was incapable of movement or speech when we found her. They were long gone by the time we arrived. But... they left...food for her."
"I don't want to know." Serene said quickly and Harriet nodded.
"Wise. I wish I did not know." Harriet said softly. "We picked René up, got her cleaned up, healed her injuries. She was talking to us fairly quickly, once she realized we were not going to hurt her, that we were trying to help. I was called in when it was discovered she had been... conditioned."
"You mean brainwashed." Serene said quickly and paused as Harriet shook her head.
"The techniques are similar." Harriet said quietly. "But not quite the same. Brainwashing is an indoctrination process which results in an impairment of autonomy, an inability to think independently, and a disruption of beliefs and affiliations." Her tone was different, more... alive as odd as that sounded. "This was more a form of conditioning. Control words, in essence. What was done to René is very similar to how the Grineer teach their Drahks."
"They treated her like a dog...?" Serene said softly.
"Worse." Harriet said quietly. "They knew she was smarter than a dog. With an animal, you have to mix punishments with rewards or they turn feral. These idiots only punished. They had no idea what they were doing."
"How would you have done it?" Serene countered.
"Ignoring moral and ethical quandaries..." Harriet said quietly. "The only way to guarantee success was the one they did not bother with. If they wanted children who acted as such, they should have treated them as children. Let them grow as children. Even flash growing, it could have been far easier on them. But the ones doing it did not bother."
"Then they did the same thing with Amelia." Serene said flatly and Harriet nodded.
"The difference was, Amelia Priosa knew what to do." Harriet was still quiet. "She managed to keep her daughter sane despite those unprofessional scum." The word 'unprofessional' as more inflected than the word 'scum'. Harriet didn't like people who acted unprofessional apparently. "These were used, abused and thrown into cryo to be used as spare parts when they did not work right. René was shot twice. They probably thought they had killed her. The others? We do not know."
"Why me?" Serene asked slowly. "I don't remember any of this. What possible help could I be?"
"René imprinted on you." Harriet said with a nod. Serene looked at her and Harriet shrugged. "Either she knew on some instinctive level that you were her mother, or the basic training the idiots bothered to give her made her realize that you were safe... It does not matter. To René, you are her mother. We hope... the boys feel the same way."
"Why?" Serene asked. "I mean, sure René obviously thinks I am her mother, but I can't know if what you say is true or if this is an elaborate trick."
"The Reverend Mother did not say." Harriet said softly. "I think I can guess why. The boys... are unlikely to be..." She trailed off as Serene hissed.
"Able to be rehabilitated." Serene finished for the Clergywoman who nodded. "So I am bait? For a trap?"
"I do not know what she planned, Tenno Serene." Harriet said softly. "I do know she did not expect to return." Serene stilled and the Clergy woman nodded. "I did not until a few minutes ago. She left a time release message for me. It said... to give you this." She held out a datapad. "This will play a message on the wall screen. No one else will see it but you." She turned to go as Serene took the datapad gingerly.
"Wait..." Serene said, stunned. "You would just... leave? I have to under observation..."
"Medical only." Harriet said without turning. "You are still hurt." With that, she left the room!
Serene stared after the Clergywoman for a moment and then at the datapad in her hand. It was unremarkable. She stared at it and then...
Serene. Thank god! Janet! We do not have a lot of time.
Oracle... They have... done something to me. Serene said carefully. I do not know if my mind is my own.
Nor do I. Janet agreed. But I need to tell you, when you hit the pad, and I know you will, things will change, significantly. I want to help. But I do not know how.
All I need to know... Serene said softly. Sara? Rocky? Two? Iriana? Mishka?
Iriana, Mishka, Sara and Rocky are safe with the Caretakers. Two is very upset. She is going to the Citadel. She does remember. Janet said quietly. I did not know, Serene. I knew it was a bad, but until I looked... I had no idea. It was all way beyond secret. René was in a different facility, for 'special case kids'. I never had reason to go there.
Is René my daughter? Serene asked, trying for calm.
I cannot answer that, Serene. Janet said sadly. Only you can.
The Clergy say that the scum who had me... made her... from me... Serene said softly. And others.
That is true, so far as it goes. Janet replied just as softly. But only you can decide whether she really is or not. I...have no right to say one way or another. When Two emerges from the Citadel's shields, I will speak to her. I will try to help.
Thank you. Serene's thanks were heartfelt. Tell the others... If they see me...'Don't miss'. I do not know if I am in control of myself or not.
I do not want to. Janet sobbed a little. But... I am not Tenno. I do not know your ways. I will tell them.
Thank you.
Then the Oracle was gone.
Serene sat for a moment, gathering her meager thoughts. Then she hit the 'play' button on the pad. The wall screen lit up with the Reverend Mother's face. The old woman's face was sad.
"Hello Serene." The Reverend Mother said softly. "If you are hearing this, then I did not come back from the Relay. I am either dead or praying for it by now." She shook her head slowly. "I did what I did to Mishka because it was needed to protect the girl. It was hard on her, but if I had not, the reviewers would have figured out that they had mystery on their hands. They would have done a deep mental scan to figure it out and when they did, it would have exposed Mishka as a Tenno. But a child. This flies in the face of what most of the Company knows. There are no Tenno children. I know better. But very few others do. And what would have been done to her..." She looked away from the pickup and when she looked back, tears were falling slowly. "I am not a good woman, Serene. I have not been a good woman since I assumed my role. I have had to do evil, in the name of doing greater good. It does not help me sleep at night."
Serene was shaking her head slowly, but the woman on the screen continued.
"I do not expect forgiveness for what I did." The old nun said quietly. "It was wrong, abusing her that way. It kept the reviewers confused long enough..." She swallowed hard. "Long enough for the Red Veil to attack her anyway. What happened after... is just window dressing. You cannot trust, but I find I must explain. I was going to give the codes to Mishka's programming to Horatius. He could have gotten them to her mother easily. I pray that the dark Tenno or whatever he is did not harm the girl. I liked her. Which is dangerous for her and for me. But either way, that is out of my hands. I can do no more for her. Perhaps you can."
"Me?" Serene asked the wall, confused. But of course the recording just continued.
"I knew going to the relay would only end one way, Serene." The Reverend Mother said with a sigh. "I hoped that the drugged bottle would work. That you could wake somewhere safe with René next to you, let her explain. But I feared it would not work as planned and was ready for what had to be done. Obviously, if you are hearing this... it did not work. I hope... you are not badly hurt. They need you, Serene. They need you badly. I regret so much, but mainly I regret that I am not there to say this in person. To let you hurt me as you richly deserve. To explain why they need you."
"Need me?" Serene stammered.
"The Corpus hurt you so very badly, Serene." The old woman said softly. "We did not know. We tried to find out what they were doing. When Harriet came back, catatonic, we tried to find out. When Janet went in with Zacharias and they found out what was going on, both retreated in haste. Perhaps... Perhaps that pushed Ars Lonrack into worse actions? I do not know. I do know that the Corpus is directly responsible for everything that happened to you. Yes, you are Tenno. Yes, you fought us. But the Company has lost its way. The original Corpus would never have allowed what happened to you, to Amelia Priosa, to her daughter, to René and the boys... They were no saints, to be sure, but they were desperate, not evil. The Corpus today is."
"No shit." Serene snarled at the screen, but kept listening.
"Since the dawn of Corpus history, there has been a Clergy, led by a Reverend Mother." The old woman said quietly. "Our job has always been to keep the company from excess. To keep it from destroying itself through sheer greed. Greed will always triumph over compassion if it is allowed, because compassionate people will not act as greedy ones will. The Board may see Profit as the sole reason for existing, but we of the Clergy know better. If the Board do manage, somehow, to utterly dominate the Solar System, destroy the Grineer, the Tenno and all the other threats, and gain a stranglehold on every market as is so many Executives dream... Then it will be a failure." She said sternly.
"Because then it cannot grow anymore and it will stagnate and fall apart. Just as most of the Orokin did." She paused. "Yes, I know about Avalon. I have known for years. And no, I have never said. Because we will need them eventually when the Sentients return, which they will. Perhaps they will listen to the right person. Not me."
"But..." Serene swallowed hard and the recording continued.
"The Corpus need a guide." The recording's face turned solemn. "They must have someone to keep them from straying too far. Who can make the hard choices that are needed. That are wrong, but needed. "
Serene went still... No, she couldn't be... She jerked as she was suddenly laid flat on the bed she had never gotten off of. There hadn't seemed a point. The machinery swept down around her. She was immobilized, she couldn't move!
"I am sorry, Serene. I am so sorry." The recording said sadly. "If... If the plan had worked, I would explained in person and then submitted myself to Tenno justice for what happened to Mishka. She was not Mercedes' responsibility. She was mine. I failed her. And... I hurt her. I ordered he programmed. I deserve every ounce of your rage. All I can offer is my life, but to do that... I cannot leave the Clergy leaderless. So, I am sorry. Perhaps you will succeed where I failed."
"The Reverend Mother is dead." The recording said as energy slammed into Serene's skull and she could only writhe in her bonds and scream as machinery closed in on her.
"Long live the Reverend Mother."