New Beginnings

ch. 20.

Guilty Confessions

For the next two weeks, Rob is confined to bed only allowed up for taking care of personal needs. Even then he's not allowed to walk on his foot. Being dosed with morphine every five hours makes him not mind being in bed for the first few days. By day five he's beginning to resist being kept in bed. Used to being up and working outside or enjoying the evenings with the boys, he has become bored.

When Ethan comes in the afternoon of the sixth day to help him with his needs, he asks "Pa, could I please go to the front room to sit for a time? I'm so tired of lying here alone."

"Rob, you need to sleep and keep off of that foot. You can't be walking on it yet. You know this, since I've said it many times in the last six days." Ethan replies with a smile.

"I'm not tired! I'm bored! I'm not some little kid who has to be ordered around either!" Rob replies huffily.

"Maybe, but you sure do sound like one." Ethan responds grinning.

"Son, I know you're tired of this. It's for the best right now. Doctor Americus is telling us to keep you still and off that foot so we will be obeying her orders. I'll send Joseph in to keep you company for a time."

"Alright I'll stay a little longer but I'm not going to stay in here for much longer! I'll get up and out of this bed if I have to do it myself!" Rob declares loudly.

"You, young man, will stay as long as you are told to, being as you have five broken toes! Keep up this attitude and I'll fix it so you have a sore backside to go with the toes! If you act like a small misbehaving child, you get treated as one! Best to remember that son."

"Yes sir." Rob answers glowering at Ethan.

"Lose the look or we'll have a demonstration right now."

"Yes sir, sorry sir."

Walking out to find Joseph pushing the boys on the swings, Ethan calls him over. "Son, I'd appreciate it if you would spend time with Rob. He's getting tired of being alone and would like someone to talk to besides me or Claire. You've been avoiding him since the accident."

"Alright Pa, I'll go sit with him. I did promise the boys to take them fishing this afternoon. We were going to ask after you finished with Rob."

"Rob comes first today. You can find time for fishing tomorrow or the next day. Your older brother needs you today. When it's Ben's turn, I'll send him in. With all of you visiting he ought to be entertained." And tired out too. Ethan adds to himself. Taking care of cranky sick children is definitely not on his list of enjoyable experiences. Claire never seems to have a problem with it. It must be a female thing, maybe the mothering instinct. He thinks heading to the corral to work with the new stallion the Army asked him to train.

"Hey Rob, what kind of game do you want to play? We could bring the checkerboard in or I have a set of cards in my room we could play with." Joseph asks after they have talked for awhile.

"I choose cards. I can teach you to play Rummy. It's a game my Uncle Vern taught me.'

"I wish you would teach me Poker. That would be more useful when I get older."

"Joseph! You know as well as I do that he'd skin us both if we played that! It wouldn't matter about my foot, he'd carry me to the woodshed! You too probably!"

"I know. I didn't say we would do it, I just said I wish we could."

Coming into the room about an hour later, Ben says "Pa said it's my turn to visit, Joseph. He wants you to go chop kindling. He said to tell you we need at least a three foot high pile." Looking for the first time at what the two are doing he yells "Are you playing POKER?"

"BEN! For God's sake, don't shout like that! Do you want to get us whipped?" Rob scolds as Joseph looks at the door nervously. He expects his Pa to come barreling in within seconds of Ben's shout.

"Sorry. Pa's outside so he couldn't have heard me. Are you? Playing poker that is."

"No, so calm down. We wouldn't be so stupid as to play something forbidden right here in the house now would we?" Rob answers.

"If you aren't playing that what are you playing? Will you teach me to play too?"

"It's called Rummy and yes, I'll teach you. Thanks Joseph for coming to visit. Will you come again tomorrow or even later tonight?"

"Yes, I'll be back in later. I have to do chores first. I'll come back after I'm done. Ben, you have to help with the stalls so don't forget. I'm not going to do your side of the barn. It's enough to have to clean six smelly stalls twice a day every day. I love my horse but I hate having to clean up after her and the rest too."

"I won't forget, I'll come after we play a game or two. I'll get George to come in after me or Aaron if he wants to come play."

Busy cutting the kindling, Joseph is thinking about how to bring up the subject of what happened to Rob. I know if I don't tell Pa what happened, I'll be in more trouble when he finds out but I'm not ready to face him right now. I wish I had not been so stupid! I got Rob hurt and myself in major trouble.

Lost in thought, he doesn't hear Aaron walk up so he jumps when he speaks. "Joseph, I need to ask you something."

"Okay. I'll try to answer. What is it?"

"Do you think there's any way at all your Pa would adopt me and Alyssa too, o'course. I just do not want to have to go back home again. I hate my Pa and my brother. They're both bastards!" Aaron says not fazed at the ugly term he just used.

"Aaron! Hush that kind of talk or you're going to want to eat standing up!" Joseph whispers looking around for Ethan. "Pa would whip you if he heard you use that word! Watch your mouth!"

"Which word?"

"The one that sounds like custard! Saying you hate someone will get you a scolding but curse words will get you a sore bottom! I should know, it's happened to me before. You should know that too since you very nearly got a sore seat for using one at the swimming hole that time."

"But I'm only telling the truth here! They both are …. " seeing Joseph reach down and pick up a stick of wood, Aaron quickly stops before saying "I won't say it, don't spank me!"

"I wasn't going to spank you. I'm just picking up the kindling. Will you help me?" Joseph asks handing the boy a stack of wood strips. "I just don't know Aaron about what you asked me. I know he cares for both of you but I think as long as you have a parent you can't be adopted." Joseph says quietly as they walk towards the back porch. Putting his stack of kindling in the kindling box, Aaron says "I really don't have a parent. He's not my Pa, not really."

"What? What do you mean by that? How can he not be your Pa? You have his name."

"Scott is his son but Alyssa and I are not his real children." Aaron answers. "Our Pa died and Ma married McGinnis when we were four years old. I didn't like him from the first. He didn't want us around just our Ma. Scotty would do things to get me in trouble and it would work every time. One time I filled up the kindling box like we just did, Scotty came and took it all out. His Pa saw the empty box and spanked me very hard for not doing the chore he told me."

"Why didn't you tell him what Scott was doing?"

"I did once when I was five. I'd been told to fill up the wood box that time. I spent a long time carrying in two logs at a time. I couldn't carry any more because they were too heavy. Scott was nine then and much bigger than me. He took every log out except for the biggest ones that were already there when I started. When his Pa came in and the box was empty, he reached out to get me to spank me. I ran and hid behind the stove where he couldn't reach me or so I thought. I told him Scott had taken all the logs I had carried in, back outside."

"Didn't he believe you?"

"No, he screamed at me calling me lazy and a liar. Then he spanked me with a piece of kindling. I wasn't safe behind the stove after all. Our Ma never tried to stop him from paddling me either. I guess she thought I deserved it."

"No kid at the age of five deserves to be whipped for not being able to haul logs or anything else either! That's crazy! I thought our Pa was horrible to us. Yours was worse."

"Uncle Ethan was horrible to you when you were a little boy?" Aaron asks, aghast at the idea.

Smiling at the thought of being considered grown, Joseph answers "No, not him, I meant my real father, Robert Carroll. He was the true word that sounds like custard! I'll tell you more about him later. Right now we have to get these chores finished."

"I thought you had lived with Uncle Ethan a long time."

"I moved in with him when I was almost eleven, Aaron. My Mama died and he came to St. Louis to get all of us. I was ten and a half, Claire was twelve nearly thirteen, Ben was nearly seven and George was five almost six. Ben and George both had birthdays two months after we moved here."

"What about Rob? How old was he?'

"Rob isn't my brother by blood. He's my brother by love. He came to live with us permanently last Thanksgiving but he stayed with us several months the year before. When his uncle was killed and his Pa had died, he became Pa's ward."

"What's a ward? Can we be that too?"

"Aaron, you have a family. It's not the same. I'm not sure exactly what a ward is except it means he is Pa's responsibility and has to obey his rules the same as the rest of us. It's kind of like being his son."

"I wish I was his son." Aaron whispers to himself.

"Aaron, I need you to go get Ben and George. They have to come do their chores. You can spend time with Rob and ask him to tell you about what a ward is." Joseph says wishing he knew of a way to help Aaron get away from that so called Pa of his. Maybe I can talk to Pa and see what he says. He thinks as he walks in the barn to start cleaning the stalls.

"You were too! I saw you, Ben! I'm not stupid, don't call me that!" Joseph hears George say angrily.

"I WAS NOT! Stop being so high and mighty George! You are acting stupid too! " Ben answers giving George a shove that knocks him off his feet, as they come into the barn.

"Yes you were too! I'm going to tell Papa about this! You're in trouble now, Ben!" George answers back running out of the barn.

"What's with George? You shouldn't have pushed him like that, Ben." Joseph says as Ben begins raking out the soiled hay.

"He just wouldn't hush up about it. I told him four times that we weren't and he still wouldn't hush. I got mad. Now he's gone to tell tale on me. I'm probably in trouble."

"Yeah I see that you're mad. You better stop being so rough with that rake. You break it and you are in trouble. What is it that you did or didn't do that George says you did?"

"He says I was playing poker but I wasn't. It just looked like I was." Ben answered slamming the rake down on the floor again. There's a loud CRACK and the wooden handle breaks into two pieces with Ben holding one and the rest of the rake on the floor.

"I told you not to be so rough! You are to be more careful with the tools! Now look what you did!" Joseph tells him shaking his head.

Ethan coming into the barn followed by George is just in time to hear Joseph scolding Ben. Taking in the scene of the rake in pieces and the boy's mulish expression, he asks "Ben, were you slamming the rake through the straw again? I told you last week not to be rough with the tools remember? It's a lucky thing the rake head didn't fly off and hit one of you! This is made of iron and could hurt someone!"

"Yessir." Ben answers all the while glaring at George. Ole tell – tale! He thinks as he sees George glare back shaking his head in denial.

"Benjamin! Look at me when I am speaking to you!" When Ben's eyes snapped to him he continues "Did you shove George into the barn door and call him stupid?" Ethan asks, his voice stern.

"Yessir." Ben answers again with a sigh. He can tell right now, this isn't going to end well.

"George says you were playing poker this afternoon. Is this also correct?" Ethan asks watching the boy for his reaction.

"No Sir! I was playing cards with Rob but it's a game called rumming that he taught me." Ben answers immediately his eyes showing he's telling the truth.

"That's "Rummy" not rumming, Ben. You're right though, it's a lot different than poker." Joseph says before thinking.

"What do you know of this incident, Joseph?" Ethan asks dangerously.

"Not much Sir." His Pa's tone and the look on his face makes Joseph be extremely polite. "Only that the boys were arguing when they came into the barn and the game is called rummy. Rob taught me to play too. It's not poker, Pa. We didn't bet or anything." Joseph answers quickly hoping to save himself from the scolding.

"It's a good thing for you that you didn't bet! You'd be in for real trouble if you had. Now, you and George go inside while I speak to Ben privately."

"Yes sir." Joseph answers.

Taking a seat on a bale of hay, Ethan says "Come here Ben."

Lip between his teeth and moving slowly, Ben walks to him.

Seeing the tear filled eyes and the now trembling lip, Ethan can see Ben expects a spanking or worse. "You are in trouble young man! I want you to tell me what it is that has caused you to be punished."

"I shoved George and made him hurt himself. I didn't follow your rule about being careful with the tools. I could have hurt someone with the rake. I'm sorry Pa! Honest! I got mad and it just happened."

Pulling the boy between his knees, Ethan tells him "'It just happened' is why you are getting punished. You can control yourself better, Ben. Being mad is no reason to endanger someone!"

Nodding and brushing the tears out of his eyes Ben sighs quietly. He'd rather just get it over with than have to stand and be scolded first.

Ethan tells him "When you get those angry or irritated feelings Ben, you don't strike out at someone else. You know shoving and name calling are not allowed. What you need to do is talk with someone. If you must get physical, I don't think this hay bale would be upset if you gave it a few good kicks. Ben, what I'm saying is you have to learn to find other ways to handle these feelings without hurting someone or putting yourself or others in danger. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir. I'll apologize to George." Ben answers wiping the tears that are trying to run down his face. His bottom is stinging in anticipation of what is to come.

"Ben, I can see you think I'm going to spank you. I'm not going to go that route this time. We will use different punishment. But if you are deliberately cruel to someone again, I will light your backside on fire. Hear me?"

"Yes sir, I hear."

"Your punishment is to be housebound all afternoon tomorrow after church. If you can't behave nicely with other children then you can spend time alone in your room. As for the rake handle, you be more careful with those tools or you're going to wind up hurting yourself or someone else. If the handle broke that easily, it must have been cracked. I will make a new one but I still want you to take better care with the tools. Promise me."

"Yes sir, I will take better care with the tools. I'll remember not to take out my mad feelings on the tools or someone. I'll come beat up the hay bale instead. I like that idea Pa." Ben says grinning up at Ethan.

While Ben is having his conversation with Ethan, the other children are gathered in the front room waiting to see what happened with Ben.

"Joseph? I was wrong in what I did. Ben might get a spanking because I told on him." George tells Joseph while they sit in the front room waiting to go back to the chores.

Seeing the tears in the little boy's eyes, Joseph walks over and sits down putting his arm around George. "It wasn't just for you telling on him. He also broke that rake and was being careless with our safety. That would be another reason he gets his bottom warmed."

Quiet for a few minutes, George speaks up "He didn't get spanked this time. He thought he was going to but Papa didn't do it."

"George, how do you know Ben did not get spanked?" Aaron asks all puzzled. Joseph had just accepted George's announcement without questioning but he had to ask.

"I can feel it, so I just know. Ben's upset, but his bottom is not burning. He got punished some other way. I feel it."

Looking over at Joseph, Aaron asks "Can you feel it too?"

"No, this is something between Ben and George. They somehow know what's going on between them even if they aren't near each other. They've always had this connection."

Alyssa, sitting nearby looking at a storybook, says "Aaron and I have that too. It's awful when he gets a whipping. I feel the burning too but not nearly as bad as if I got it myself."

George asks "Did you ever get a whipping Alyssa?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"George! That is not your business! You should not be asking Alyssa these questions!"

"It's alright Claire. I don't mind telling. I know Aaron's already told you how our Pa treats us. George, it was for not having lunch on the table when Pa came in from chores. I was eight. He whipped me with his belt for not having the food ready. The stove fire was out and Aaron and I are not allowed to use matches. I tried to tell him but he whipped me anyway. I hate him and wish we could stay here! Your Pa loves you even when he punishes you. He does it to teach you, not to be hateful and mean like mine does."

Claire speaks up then "Alyssa and Aaron, we'd love to have you live here with us. I wish we could all be together. I already think of you as my brother and sister. Maybe we can all think and come up with something to get what we want."

The next morning having everyone dressed in their best clothes with hair brushed, faces washed and best manners showing is tough for Claire. Getting two young boys ready was hard enough but now she has three boys to keep a watch on. Doing this while helping a little girl button her dress in the back and fixing hair ribbons is difficult.

"JOSEPH!"

"What Claire? Do you have to shout at me, I'm right in my room you know."

"Well, I need you in here! Pa said to help me with the boys so get in here and HELP! I've already made sure they're all dressed, clean and presentable. Now you stand here and make sure they stay that way. DO NOT let them out of your sight! I don't have time to redress anyone! Alyssa needs my help." Claire announces huffily as she marches into her own room.

Coming out to stand beside the three boys at the table, Joseph mutters quietly "Yes Mother!" causing all three boys to giggle.

"Man, I wish I could just stay here with Rob today! He doesn't have to go so why do I?" Joseph says talking to himself.

"Rob would go if he didn't have to walk so far from the wagon to the church, Joseph." Ethan answers having come in from his own room. "He's able to move around but he needs to stay off his foot. You boys stay right here while I check on him before we leave."

"Rob? We're about ready to leave for the church service. It should take about an hour and we'll be back home. Do you think you'll be alright here for that time? I could stay with you and send the children." Ethan says after coming into Rob's room.

"I can stay by myself. Actually Pa, I need a little time by myself. I've been cooped up in this room for so long and had so much company, it's going to be nice and quiet around here." Rob answers smiling.

"Promise me you won't leave the house. Not even to use the outhouse. If you fell or got hurt in some way there's no one here to help you."

"I won't go any further than the kitchen, I promise. I won't put pressure on my toes either. I'll use the crutch Joseph made to rest my arm on as I walk."

"Take it easy with that too, Rob. Don't try to move too fast."

"I'll be careful and I'll be fine, Pa. Stop worrying, please. I really am better. I don't even need the pain medicine now."

"We'll be back by lunchtime. Enjoy the quiet because it won't last." Ethan teases, leaving the room to gather everyone into the wagon.

On the ride into town, Ethan hears Aaron ask Ben "Is church a fun place?"

"No, it's boring. You have to sit very still and be quiet. It's not fun until after it's over when the kids get to run and play for a few minutes."

"BEN!" Claire scolds him. "That's not a nice thing to tell him."

"Why? It's the truth. Pa says we have to tell the truth, Claire."

"Ben, I think what Claire means is you shouldn't be telling Aaron that church is boring." Ethan tells the boy.

"But it IS! I'm telling him the truth!"

"That's Enough, Ben. No more." Ethan says sternly.

"Hmmpff! " Ben whispers to George. "I get in trouble for not telling the truth and now I get in trouble when I DO tell the truth!"

George nods in agreement.

Ethan asks "Aaron, Alyssa have either of you ever attended church?"

"No sir."

"Then let me explain what we will be doing. First everyone will sing together with someone leading the singing. If you don't know the words you stand still and listen. After the singing, the sermon will begin. The minister will be talking and everyone will be sitting very still listening quietly. I do not allow children to talk to each other during the church service. While in the church you are to sit still and listen quietly. You may whisper to the person next to you ONLY if you have an emergency such as needing the outhouse badly. Otherwise you are to stay quiet. I will give you TWO reminders, taps on the arm, and then I will take you out of church. You do not want that. Right boys? Tell the twins what happens then."

"We get spanked. If you are taken out of church, you get a spanking then you have to go back in and sit on your aching bottom!" Ben answers for George.

Smiling to himself at Ben's answer, Ethan asks "Do either of you children have any questions about church now?"

"No sir, Uncle Ethan." Alyssa answers while Aaron whispers in Ben's ear. "I see now why you say it's boring. Would he really take you out, spank you and bring you back in front of all the people?"

"Yes! He's done it twice to me and once to George! We've only been five times too! It just opened a few months ago." Ben whispers back.

"Our church is new Alyssa and Aaron. I hope you think it's as pretty as I do. We just got a church three months ago. We're saving up to buy one of those beautiful stained glass windows. I just love church!" Claire says dreamily causing Ben to roll his eyes.

Joseph watching and listening has to cover his mouth to keep the giggles in at Ben's expression. He, himself isn't all that fond of church either but knows better than to say much about it.

Stopping the team under some trees, Ethan drops the reins on the ground. The horses are trained not to move if the reins are on the ground.

"Alright everyone, let's go in. Aaron and Ben, hold my hands please. Alyssa, you sit beside Aaron with Claire beside you. Joseph, you and George sit beside Ben."

Approaching the door, Aaron sees a tall man dressed in black pants, white shirt and a long black outershirt. He seems to be the greeter as everyone is told hello as they enter.

"Reverend Davis, these are my young houseguests. Aaron and Alyssa McGinnis. Children, this is our minister, Reverend Davis. "

"Well, hello Alyssa and Aaron. You are twins are you not? Such a nice looking young man and young lady too. You have on such a pretty dress, Miss. Alyssa. Did you sew it yourself?"

"No sir, Claire made it for me. I didn't bring a church dress so she cut down one of hers for me. I've not been to church before, sir. Is that alright? Can I come in anyway even if I haven't been before?"

"Everyone's welcome to come to church, young lady. We don't mind newcomers at all."

"You wouldn't want my Pa to come. He's a mean drunkard who would ruin the place." Aaron says.

"Aaron!" Ethan scolds quietly "Do not be disrespectful to your Pa!"

"Anyone is welcome young Aaron, even your Pa. We might be able to help him with his problem if he would come to visit. Perhaps you children can get him to come visit sometime."

"Yes sir, I'll try." Alyssa answers

Aaron, feeling the squeeze to his shoulder looks up and sees the warning in Ethan's eyes. Taking a breath first, he answers politely "Yes Mr. Davis, it might help."

Seating the children in the pew, Ethan puts Ben on one side of him and Aaron on the other with the other younger children on each side of them. Claire and Joseph sit at either end of the pew. He's already spoken to them that morning, asking for their help with the four younger children.

With only a few wiggles, the boys settle down in the pew. Soon enough they are all standing for the singing. Ethan is surprised to see the twins singing along on most of the hymns. All too soon for Ben, they are motioned to be seated as the Reverend approaches the table in front of them.

"Today we will be talking about Honesty and Truthfulness. Some of you are hiding your sinful ways. You mean too much to God to hide things. You must confess and be forgiven. You must NOT hide those sins any longer. IT IS TIME!" Reverend Davis begins looking out at the congregation.

Joseph's eyes snap to the reverend, thinking "He KNOWS! He's talking to me! How does he know about the horse? What am I going to do now?"

Joseph is so lost in thought he doesn't hear any of the rest of the sermon. The next thing he does hear is the reverend saying "Today, we are blessed to have Claire Cord sing for us. Claire, will you come forward please?"

Claire walks to the front and begins to sing Shall We Gather at the River. By the third verse, everyone is singing the refrain of "Yes, we'll gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river; Gather with the saints at the river, that flows by the throne of God."

"Thank you Claire, that was just beautiful. We chose that hymn to end our service today for a special reason. Next Sunday, we invite all of you and your guests to come to our first Church Picnic. We will gather at the river to have worship and enjoy a picnic with friends. Please plan to join us then. Go with God everyone."

As they leave the church, Reverend Davis asks "Well Miss. Alyssa did you enjoy your first visit to church?"

"Oh, Yes sir! I'd love to come again, sir. I want to sing some more. I want to learn to sing as beautifully as Claire!"

"Claire does have a beautiful voice, I agree. Well, we hope to see you next week at the picnic. Come again children."

"Thank you for the service, Reverend. It is a message we all need to hear over and over again. We will see you next Sunday. Let's get home children." Ethan says ushering the children on down the steps. He notices how Joseph seems lost in thought and wonders what that might be about. Just as he's about to ask, Aaron pulls on his hand.

"Uncle Ethan?"

"Yes son?"

Aaron motions for him to lean down and whispers "I'm in a bind, sir! I have to use it really bad! I can't hold it until I get to your house!"

"Joseph?" Ethan calls but the boy continues walking towards the wagon. Seeing Aaron's face take on a more worried expression, he says "Ben! Show Aaron the way to the necessary and don't dawdle. We'll be at the wagon."

"Yes Pa. Come on Aaron, it's just around the back of the church."

"It's just past that bush, come on." Ben urges taking Aaron by the hand and walking fast.

When Aaron comes out Ben says "So, what did you think of Church?"

"I had a very hard time sitting still, I had to go when we got here. When Claire started singing about the river, it got worse. You're right it's boring."

"Why didn't you tell Pa to take you out?"

"He said we couldn't talk. How could I tell him if I couldn't talk?"

"You can talk for that one reason and he'll take you out or send Joseph or Rob with you. You can only go one time during the service or you'll be in trouble. Come on, we've got to get back to the wagon."

Climbing into the back of the wagon, Ben hears Ethan ask "All done boys?"

"Yes Pa. We're ready to go now." Ben answers looking at Aaron who nods.

Before Ethan can hup the horses, they hear " Mr. Cord! Wait, please!"

A young boy is running to get to the wagon. "A telegram came for you sir. I was told to bring it straight to you."

"Thank you Ted. Come by the office tomorrow and I'll give you a nickel for the delivery."

"Yes Sir! Thank you sir!"

"Let's go home everyone. Rob is waiting." Ethan says putting the telegram into his suit jacket pocket.

"Papa, why couldn't we stay to play some today? I haven't seen my friends in a long time." George asks.

"We need to get home to check on Rob, George. You'll see your friends next Sunday at the picnic. When we get home, I want everyone to change out of your church clothes before you play or start chores."

"Yes sir." The younger children answer.

Glancing back to Joseph, Ethan sees he still has a faraway look to him. He hasn't spoken since the service ended.

"Joseph?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Are you alright, you seem troubled, son." Ethan says glancing back to the boy again.

"I'm just thinking sir. I'll be alright sir."

"What is troubling you, son?" Ethan feels something is bothering Joseph since he has answered with "sir" several times. He only becomes extremely polite when he's bothered by something.

"I'd rather not say right now, sir. Can we talk later, at home?"

"We'll talk after we change clothes."

"Yes sir."

"Aaron, I've heard how Alyssa feels about the church service, but not you. How did you like your first church service?" Claire asks.

"Umm Uhh, well I Umm,… I thought your singing was very pretty, Claire." Aaron finally stammers out, turning red in the face when Ben and George start snickering.

"Boys hush. Well Aaron what did you think of the sermon, when Reverend Davis was talking" she explains at Aaron's blank look.

"Well, I thought it was wrong."

"What do you mean?" Claire asks curiously as the rest of the children all look at Aaron.

"That man is a liar himself. It's not right for him to stand and tell people what he said when he's a lying bastard!"

Claire gasps as Joseph whispers "Aaron hush! Remember what I told you about that word!"

All of the children sit completely still waiting to see what will happen. Ben keeps glancing at his Pa waiting for him to turn around or say something. A few minutes later, the wagon pulls up into the yard. Getting down, Ethan lifts Alyssa down to the ground, swinging her way out to get a laugh. "Go on in and change. Joseph, please check on Rob before you change clothes. Aaron, stay here with me, we need to talk."

Walking to the house George looks at Ben. Aaron's in big trouble isn't he? He thinks watching Ben. Nodding, Ben answers back You know what happens if one of us says a curse word, well Aaron was using a curse word and he was talking about a Reverend when he did it!

Leading Aaron into the barn and closing the door, Ethan walks back to the tack room. Aaron's eyes get big and he's beginning to cry. Ben has told him what the tack room is used for besides holding saddles and bridles.

"Uncle Ethan, I apologize. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry!"

"Why do you think I brought you here?"

"To punish me for saying the man was lying."

"It isn't the fact that you said he was lying that's the problem here. The problem, Aaron, is you used a word that I know you are aware is a completely forbidden word. Am I right?"

"yes."

Sitting on the barrel Ethan pulls Aaron over his knee. "In this family, using unacceptable words gets you a whipping, Aaron. You and I have discussed this before. I won't use anything but my hand this time but, if you are heard talking that way again, it will be my belt." With that said, he lays down six hard smacks on the boy's backside.

"I'm sorry! I won't cuss anymore, promise! I won't, I'll be good!" Aaron calls out between smacks. His Pa has whipped him with a buggy whip and yet this spanking hurts his feelings a lot more than a thrashing ever did.

"Stay right here beside me, son." Ethan says lifting the boy to his feet. "Now listen Aaron, I punished you for using the word 'bastard'. It is a very ugly term to use for anything and as long as you are around my house or with me, you are forbidden to use that word. You were not spanked for your opinion of the Reverend. I would like to know why you told Claire you think he's a liar. You won't be punished, son."

"Because what he said about people being forgiven isn't true. Every time my Pa got mad at me, he didn't ever forgive me. I don't think people forgive like the man said they did."

"Son, most people do forgive others for mistakes. From what you have told us about your Pa, I can see he is a hard man. He probably doesn't let you know but I'm sure he forgives mistakes. I forgive you son, for your misbehavior. I forgive you and I still want you as part of our family until you have to leave."

"I don't ever want to leave! Even if you spanked me again and again I want to stay." Aaron says flinging himself into Ethan's arms sobbing.

"Hush now, you are alright. You are going to stay, for now. Let's go on inside and change clothes. Remember what I said about using those forbidden words from now on."

Opening the barn doors, Ethan is surprised to see Joseph sitting on the ground by the door. "Joseph! You know not to eavesdrop! What are you doing out here?" Seeing Aaron watching, he adds "Go on to the house Aaron."

"Rob's fine, I checked on him but I'm not fine. I need to tell you something and I can't keep it quiet any longer! Please can we go talk now?" Joseph asks breaking into tears.

"What is it? What is bothering you so much? Are you sick?" Ethan asks helping the sobbing boy into the barn.

"It's all my fault! I did it! It was an accident but I caused it to happen! I didn't want it too!" Joseph says shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Shh, calm down. I know you didn't mean it. We'll make it better. SHH, stop crying and tell me what it is. Joseph, I can't help if I don't know what to help with, now can I?" Ethan says holding the boy against his chest and feeling his shirtfront getting wet with tears.

A few sobs and gulps later, Joseph is able to control himself enough to talk. Sitting down on a hay bale he asks "Will you sit by me, Pa?" When Ethan settles himself and looks expectantly at the boy, Joseph sighs and asks "Will you let me tell everything before you say anything, Please?"

"I'm here, Joseph. You tell me what it is you need to say and I'll listen." Ethan answers.

"The Reverend was talking about me today. I haven't been honest and I've been hiding it. I wanted to say something but I was afraid too. That day in the back pasture when Rob got hurt was my fault. I let the stallion into the pasture knowing we were moving the mares into that same pasture."

"Why Joseph? You know very well that a stallion is not to be in the same pasture as the mares. Why would you deliberately do that?" Ethan asks trying not to let his anger show.

"Because of what Rob told me. He said the stallion was going to ride a mare after you chose one. I've never seen a horse get on the back of another horse to ride so I wanted to see him do that. I didn't get to see it because the stallion went crazy first. He got this wild look and was standing on his hind legs pawing the air for a time. Then he just started running and chasing the mares. When they ran by us Rob tried to grab him but got stepped on. Rob screamed, Pa! I've never heard him sound like that."

"Joseph, you and I need to have a long talk." At Joseph's wide eyed and nervous look, Ethan says "Not that kind of talk, son. I'm not going to whip you if that's what you are thinking. I think seeing the accident and having to live with these guilty feelings for nearly two weeks is punishment enough. I do think you should talk to Rob and tell him what you told me. He is confused how the stallion came into the pasture. I also want you to accept it if he decides to punish you. You are loved and forgiven, just remember that."

"I'll tell him but is it alright to wait until tomorrow or next month even?"

"Tomorrow will be fine." Ethan says reaching over and giving Joseph a hug. Rob will forgive you, he loves you too. He may be angry but he will forgive you."

Joseph is thinking about what Rob might say when Ethan speaks again.

"You are getting older son, so it's time I explained some things. I'll start with what Rob meant when he said the stallion was going to ride the mare." I'll be having my own talk with him about that also! Ethan thinks. Continuing he asks "Joseph have you ever seen animals mating?"

"Yes sir. I saw the rooster with a hen once."

"Okay, well the stallion was not going to climb on the mare's back to ride the way you or I would. He was going to … well .. mate with her." Ethan explains hoping that would end this discussion.

"How would he do that?"

"Wouldn't that hurt the mare? What about people do they mate the same way?" Joseph asks after Ethan explained in detail what the stallion would do.

"To answer those questions, I don't know if the mare is hurt or not. In some ways people do mate the same way. For now we are going to leave this discussion right here. What I want you to remember is you are not a stallion, you are a gentleman. Gentlemen treat ladies and girls with respect and courtesy. When you begin to take interest in girls and escort them out, you will do it with those traits. We will have a more in depth discussion on escorting young ladies at that time. Joseph this is not information Ben, George or Aaron need to know. I will tell Ben and George when I think they are mature enough to know. Understand?"

"Yes sir. Thank you for explaining things for me and for not whipping me too!" Joseph says gratefully as he stands and begins to head to the door.

"You're welcome, son. Don't be afraid to come to me with your troubles. Yes, I may punish you at times but I will still listen."

"Yes sir, I hear you Pa."

"Let's go change and have lunch. I think today would be a good day to take a trip to the fishing pond. How about hitching up the pony cart and Rob can go along."

"You'll let me take the cart through the trees that way?"

"I will. I know you'll be extremely careful with it. Rob needs to be able to get out away from his room. He won't have to walk if you take the cart."

"Do we really have to take the boys with us? If it was the two of us I could tell Rob about what happened in the pasture."

"Ben is housebound to his room today, Aaron doesn't deserve to go either, so yes, I think just the two of you should go. We'll see if Rob feels like going." Ethan says as they approach the house.

Changing out of his good clothes, Ethan finds the telegram he had forgotten about with the other incidents that occurred since he received it. Opening it, he reads the short note, then folds it and puts it in the top drawer of his chiffarobe.

After the children have finished lunch, Ethan asks Rob if he would like to go with Joseph to the fishing spot.

"I was thinking if you rode in the pony cart, you wouldn't have to do anything but get out and sit on the bank to fish. Would you like to go, Rob? Do you feel strong enough to do it?"

"I would love to do that. I'm very tired of staying inside and just laying or sitting around all day."

George, listening to the plan, asks "Papa? May Aaron and I go too? "

"Not today George. This time it's just going to be Rob and Joseph."

"But I want to go too! If they get to go how come I can't go? That's not fair!" George practically yells back.

"I think, George, that you better go to your room for some calming down time. Joseph and Rob will be going alone today. You may go another time but not today. Go to your room until I tell you to come out. You do not shout at me or argue back when I tell you something. Ben, you are also confined to your room this afternoon for your behavior yesterday. You both may leave the table."

In their room, George flops face down on the bed, crying. "I just wanted to go with them. I don't see why I couldn't go too!"

Sitting next to his brother, Ben begins to rub George's back. "Hush, George. You can't go so stop crying. You are going to get a spanking if you keep fussing. You are lucky you aren't now. You talked back and almost yelled at Pa. I would've gotten spanked if I did that. Rob and Joseph must want to be by themselves. You and I like to do that too sometimes, remember?"

"Yeah but they could be by themselves another day and I could have gone too. Papa isn't being nice, Ben."

"I wouldn't tell him that if I were you. You need to give up and just know you aren't going to get your way no matter how much you complain. Fussing and arguing only gets one thing. You know what I mean right?"

"But Ben, I'm already sent to my room, that's my punishment. I won't get more. He wouldn't spank me on top of that!"

"Whatever you say George." Ben says finished with trying to talk to his stubborn little brother.

While Ben was sharing knowledge with George, Ethan is telling Rob about Joseph. "He PUT the stallion in the pasture?! I hope you whipped him, Pa! It's because of his recklessness that I'm sitting here unable to walk on two feet!"

"Rob, I know you are angry and you have every right to be. It was reckless, I agree. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to see the stallion ride the mare the way YOU told him it would." Ethan sees Rob drop his head at this.

"I thought we agreed not to share that kind of knowledge with the younger boys. I believe I told you point blank that I would be the one to explain mating to them when I felt it was time. Didn't I?"

"Yes sir."

"Because you had a hand in this, I did not punish Joseph. He has felt extremely guilty since the accident. I told him you would be assigning a punishment and he would be expected to take whatever punishment you gave him."

"You want me to punish him? I still think he deserves a whipping!"

"No, Rob. You may assign some punishment but you may NOT take a belt to him. As I said, you had a hand in this incident also by your disobedience in telling him what you did. From now on, leave the mating discussions to me, please."

"Yes Pa. I don't want one of the boys to do anything else crazy like Joseph, because of something I said! Ben is worse than Joseph at thinking up crazy things to try. There's no telling what he might do!"

"For your sake and his, I strongly advise you not to discuss mating with your ten year old brother! As I said, I will be the one who has that discussion when I feel the time is right. IF you had obeyed me the first time I told you this, you wouldn't be in the situation you are now!"

"Yes sir, I realize that but it's too late to do anything about it. I have learned my lesson though."

"Good to know, Rob. I hope you remember it!"