1983
When Rumpelstiltskin opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, he first thought that he was dreaming. This wasn't his room in the dark castle…and this wasn't his cage.
And then he remembered…the curse. The purple cloud had poured into his cell and he gleefully welcomed it knowing his son was just seconds away. He sat up and looked around the room. His name was Mr. Gold here…and even though things seemed so different, they seemed so familiar. This duel personality…it was like knowing two conflicting facts were right and it was at the front of your mind so that you couldn't just brush it off.
Gods, this was going to take some getting used to but he'd done it. After centuries of manipulating and scheming…it worked. He was going to see his son again. It would be 28 years, but that would be a blink after 400 years of manipulating to get what he needed.
Especially now since he knew the worst part was over.
The bed shifted and he looked to his left to see the bare back of Dagian facing him. No…her name wasn't that here….it was Dawn. Mr. Gold had married her in a business arrangement that benefited both of them. They never said they loved the other but there was at least some affection in there.
He lifted the blanket and looked down.
Oh gods, they had that kind of affection.
No, no, he arranged Dagian's curse to be with him so that he could make her life miserable for leaving him twice but not this. He wasn't going to do that to pass the time.
He sat up and found some clothes waiting for him on the chair. He stood and put some pressure on his right leg. Immediately agony laced up his hip and he sat back down on the bed with a curse.
Gods, why didn't he think to take away his limp?
There was a cane on the edge of the bed and he grabbed it and pulled himself up.
He just had to get dressed and get outside. He could clear his mind there…survey his home for the next near 3 decades and find out what exactly he had put them into.
There was…some sort of water closet to the right, he could change in there. His Mr. Gold personality told him that he could bath in twenty minutes in this world…and the water was already heated. Well it seemed like this place did have its benefits. He'd have to support the small things in this world since he was robbed of his power.
"You're in a hurry."
He froze at his wife's voice. Over 400 years and he still knew exactly what it sounded like.
He stared at his wife's green eyes. No, no it wasn't her. She didn't even look at him in the same way that Dagian had. This woman…Dawn actually had some affection in her eyes. She looked at him with a fond smile.
He averted his gaze. No, she wasn't real…this Dawn Gold was a figment of his imagination. Dagian was still in there just under the surface. He'd made sure there was enough of her in there so that making her miserable for 28 years would be worth it.
She left him and Bae. She left him to raise his son for 14 years and he took her back. And he forgave her and he took care of her and when he lost Bae…did she comfort him? Did she try to make it work? No, he had already been destroying himself for what he did. He already hurt for what he did but she tried to leave him again. And when that didn't work and he brought her back she took a sleeping curse after promising to stay with him.
She found a loophole and left him when he needed her most of all.
"Why don't you come back," Dawn asked, "You don't have to leave for another couple of hours yet."
Just the idea of her touching him made him angry, "Trust me, you don't have anything I need."
Dawn blinked and she looked hurt for a second before she recovered, "And this exactly why no one likes you when you get up this early. You're a pain to deal with."
She threw the covers off her and stood up. He averted his gaze and then went to the odd water closet so that he could get dressed.
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Present Day
Rumpelstiltskin went to Cora's funeral for two reasons. One; he honestly wanted to pay his last respects. He had honestly cared about her one time. Second; Regina wouldn't sit on her hands for very long. She blamed him partially for her mother's death. That meant that his family was in danger and he had to get her away from any ideas of vengeance before they got hurt.
He found her in her crypt. Weeping over the coffin that her mother had been laid to rest in.
He couldn't say that he felt pity for the woman that nearly helped take his life, "Black always was your color."
"I'm here to bury my mother," Regina hissed, "So if you've come to gloat."
Oh the child had childish thoughts, he thought to himself, "I came…to pay my respects."
He placed a rose on the coffin tenderly, "We had our differences, but Cora will always have a place in my heart."
Regina scoffed, "You killed her to save your own life."
And that of the entire town but Regina obviously wasn't thinking about the entire consequences of Cora's plan, "Sadly desperate times call for desperate measures."
"Like getting Mary Margaret to trick me into killing my own mother?" Regina accused.
He supposed she also forgot the two times at least that she was willing to do so herself, but luckily he had too much dignity to remind her of her blatant hypocrisy.
Regina took his silence as a means to continue, "You may be able to hide behind your dagger, but she can't. She is going to die for what she did."
And whatever sympathy Rumpelstiltskin might've felt for his manipulation and Regina losing her mother was gone. Did she honestly forget what her last petty vengeance cost her? Now they were going around the same circle and now that Snow was his family he felt a small bit of irritation, "Oh come on," he moved closer to appeal to what good sense she had, "We both know that killing her will cost you the thing you want most. Henry."
Regina looked away.
Rumpelstiltskin went in for the kill, "Why don't you just give up this obsession with vengeance? You know it can never make you happy."
Gods, 28 years of her 'vengeance' should've proven that.
"Yes it will," Regina said stubbornly.
Rumpelstiltskin realized what he had to lose in this now. A daughter, a son…a grandson, Belle…
"You had a whole curse full of vengeance and what did it get you? A gaping hole in your heart."
"That was your curse," Regina argued. As if she hadn't known at the time what the cost would be when she got involved.
"Which you cast," he reminded her, "Still haven't learned your lesson, have you?"
"What lesson?" Regina asked.
"The same one your mother learned a long time ago," he told her, "You can't have everything. She wanted power, ripped out her own heart to get it. You want vengeance? Henry's the price you'll pay"
He looked for any sign that she comprehended what he was saying, "Time to cut your losses."
Regina shook her head, "Never."
Gods, they were going on this merry go round again.
"I will have my son," Regina said in determination and I will have my vengeance. I will find a way to have everything."
And Rumpelstiltskin knew that it would be someone innocent that would pay the price for her stubbornness."
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1983
Dawn insisted on accompanying him outside much to his annoyance. He wanted to stay away from Dagian but she insisted on coming with him because she told him she had to get to work.
Just why was Mr. Gold making his wife work when he barely had to? All he had to do was sell a few things every week and collect rent. He made sure they were well funded and she was…just why was she working for Regina's genie?
Then he dug deeper in his mind. His wife was something called a reporter…she told the news of the town…oh how dreadfully boring he couldn't wait to hear her chat about some random festival or weather for 28 years.
"Honey," Dawn grabbed his arm, "Aren't we stopping for coffee."
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, "What in the name of the gods is coffee?"
Dawn gave him a confused look, but since she was under the curse, she wouldn't question anything he said. She'd just pretty much brush it off as one of his quirks.
"Honey, are you feeling okay?"
"Just leave me alone," he muttered. Gods, he wished she was more indifferent. He might find himself actually coming to warm up to her and there was no way he could do that. One day she would wake up and with their record, she was just going to hurt him again. He couldn't entertain a fantasy for 28 years in which he came to tolerate her just because he was lining himself up for heartbreak.
"Oh honey," Dawn said breaking him out of his thoughts, "Look, your best friend is walking down Main."
He looked up to see Regina. At first he was going to snap at Dagian for saying something like that but then he realized that she was being sarcastic. The queen was probably dressed in far more clothes than he'd seen her wear in a while and she was strutting down the street acting like she actually won something.
Well he hoped she enjoyed her little rein as long as it lasted, she'd lose it as soon as the savior found her way to them.
Was Regina even looking for the savior? Looks like she'd forgotten her already. If it was him and he had power and that could be taken away, he'd rip apart the world to make sure she couldn't stop him one day.
But Regina was Regina.
Regina spotted him and her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw Dagian next to him. Her mouth fell open and she immediately closed it. Rumpelstiltskin did his best not to look at her because he knew to her…he was still Mr. Gold.
But it was still a funny expression to watch.
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Present Day
"The curse of the empty hearted."
"What does that do?" Emma demanded.
"In theory, it has the power to make someone love you," Rumpelstiltskin informed them. He wasn't sure himself if it worked or not. Forcing someone to think they loved you…that was a boundary that not even he crossed.
Emma flailed a bit and tried to wrap her mind around what he was saying, "Doesn't that break….magic laws? You can't bring someone back to life; you can't force someone to love you."
Rumpelstiltskin nodded while she talked, "This particular spell can make someone think that they love you, and if you're as desperate for love as Regina appears to be…you might just believe it."
He heard someone descending the stairs to his right, "She's going to use it on me, isn't she?"
Charming rushed forward, "Hey buddy, why don't you go back upstairs? Let us handle this."
Henry shoved past him, "No! Emma, you said you were going to be honest with me…now…why is Regina using this curse?"
Emma opened her mouth to speak but Rumpelstiltskin beat her to it, "Because it's the only way to make sure she gets everything she wants. That she can get you."
He probably could've sugarcoated it better, but that would've just been insulting Henry.
"But if all she wants is me…"
Rumpelstiltskin had neither the time nor patience for this, he would much rather be speaking to adults about this, "Your mother is a complicated woman. She wants your love of course, but she also wants vengeance. On Mary Margaret."
He turned to look at the figure huddled in the bed. Rumpelstiltskin couldn't say that he ever felt much guilt over his first kill. Well, he didn't have time to before the Dark One took over.
Charming crossed his arms, "How does the curse give her both?"
"Because the last ingredient she needs to enact the curse…is the heart of the person she hates the most."
Dread came over Emma's face, "you have to stop her."
He scoffed; Gods, Regina was going to be coming after him soon enough and he had to get to his former wife and son to find out what they were going to do to make sure they stayed safe. Dagian was moving back into her house and Bae was helping her. Now that the Hook problem was more or less taken care of for now, she wanted to be back in her home. He needed to get down there and perform a safety spell that kept Regina out, "oh, I don't have to do anything. On the contrary, I believe warning you…fulfills my debt."
"Not even close!" Charming intervened, "This is my wife's life we're talking about."
"Not to mention your grandson's."
The words were out before he could think about what he was saying, "Yeah well all wars have costs.
Henry looked extremely hurt and he felt a surge of guilt.
Emma gave him an angry look, "Nice."
His guilt was immediately replaced by him being practical, "Well this is a blood feud dearie. One that goes back a very very long time. The only way you could end a blood feud is by the spilling of more blood. That is the only way I know to eliminate your Regina problem."
"By killing her?" Charming demanded.
Rumpelstiltskin didn't know what his problem was. He would've been on board with it in the past.
"Is there no other option?" Emma asked.
"I'm afraid not," he replied. Well, he supposed they could give her 500 more chances, but how many innocent people had to get hurt
"Stop!" Henry got in the middle of them and looked at Charming and then Emma, "Listen to yourselves. You're talking about killing my mom! You used to be heroes…what happened to you?"
Rumpelstiltskin watched the boy as he ran off. Too bad the boy didn't realize that taking a life sometimes meant that you were the hero if it benefited the greater good.
Emma followed, "No matter how this plays out, we need to keep him as far away from it as possible."
"She's right," Rumpelstiltskin said as soon as Emma left, "Cora was dangerous because she didn't have a heart. Regina is even more dangerous because she does.
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Dagian scrubbed at the bloodstain on the top of the stairwell until her back felt like it was going to rip in two.
She hadn't been in this house since Hook attacked her. The blood dried on the hardwood and carpet and no matter how hard she scrubbed, it would leave a stain.
Well…she had been meaning to get the floors redone.
Bae came out of the next room where he'd been talking on his phone and closed the door behind him, "Hey, you know that you could probably pay someone to do that for you."
Dagian scoffed, "Not a big fan of asking people for help. Sort of becomes engrained in your personality when you're either shunned or working your fingers to the bone to pay for your next meal."
"Oh," Bae pointed to her room, "So…I put your bags in your room, do you need anything else."
Dagian really didn't but she wanted to spend some time with her son, "Well I'm sure we could find something."
He helped her up and walked beside her, "So….your boyfriend's …interesting."
Dagian smiled, "They'd barely spent ten seconds even acknowledging each other, "Well, not sure that's a compliment or an insult coming from someone that lives in New York."
"It's not too bad out there," he told her as she poured them both some juice, "Instead of magic…we have science and technology and that comes with its own problems of course."
"It must've been hard for you…trying to figure that all out when you got here."
Bae looked like he was visiting unpleasant memories and Dagian instantly regretted bringing it up, "Well, I figured it out"
"Yeah," Dagian said and took a sip of her drink, "You did."
A moment of silence passed. It was still awkward for both of them. Dagian knew he was trying and he honestly owed her far less.
"You were here when Henry grew up," Bae started.
"Yes," Dagian told him.
"Would you…tell me about it?"
"We weren't…close when he was growing up."
"No, but you have to have some stories," he told her.
Dagian bit the inside of her cheek, "I-I might….I'd have to think up some."
Her son stirred a straw in the juice, "If I'd known she was pregnant…I'd have stayed with her. I'd have found her and made it right."
"You can make it right now," Dagian told him.
"I'm not sure she'll forgive me."
"Dagian bit her lip, "Emma will forgive you if you don't hurt Henry like you hurt her."
Bae was quiet and Dagian continued, "You know…if you wanted to Bae…you could stay."
"I can't."
"I have a guest room right next to Lily's room; you could…stay here if you wanted. That way you do not have to pay for the inn."
Bae wouldn't look at her. Dagian wondered if he was holding back because of his fiancé. Dagian didn't bring her up because she wasn't supposed to know about her.
He took a breath, "Emma and I are talking about me taking Henry back to New York."
Dagian blinked. Him going back to New York, he was leaving. He was going to leave them…
And then she closed her eyes and tried to move past her own selfishness, "That would be…fantastic. Get Henry and you away from Regina…let the boy know what it's like to be normal….at least until this Regina thing is handled. It would be until this Regina thing is handled, right?"
"Well I'd have to bring him back to see his mother and family but for me on a permanent basis?" Bae was quiet, "I don't know."
Dagian drew in a quiet breath and fought tears. This would be for the best and she knew that. Gods, this family kept trying to separate itself, "Well…at the sake of sounding selfish…and I know it will be….I hope you decide to come back
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1983
A couple of days passed and Rumpelstiltskin grew more and more agitated. This duel personality thing was a pain to endure. Especially when both were at odds. When he was dealing with Regina, it was fine. Both his personalities hated her with a passion but with others, it was different.
Especially when it came to his wife. The Rumpelstiltskin side…his side hated her. Just looking at her and remembering what she'd done usually made him snappy with her and part of him reveled in the hurt looks she'd give him whenever he insulted her. The Mr. Gold side of him fought for control though. He'd saved her, he'd made her life better and their relationship, while not idea for most, was idea and affectionate for them. It wasn't exactly loving but it was intimate.
And then he would remember her lying in that bed. He remembered that brief shock of fear that she might be dead and then that growing dread when he realized that he couldn't wake her up. So, he pushed the Mr. Gold feelings to the back of his mind as best he could and insulted her when he thought it would make him feel better.
After about two days it didn't anymore. Rumpelstiltskin started to feel overwhelmed. The duel personalities were bad enough but this technology…this world was so different. He preferred walking rather than riding in the horseless carriage, he really hated the enchanted thing called the phone because it never stopped ringing and he couldn't SEE who he was talking to much less remember who they were and he couldn't be himself in public. He had power but he wasn't allowed to show it in a way that he was used to. He had to make Regina think she held all the cards and he wasn't used to that and he hated it.
And he couldn't find the savior. Gods, how many people LIVED in this world? How hard was it to find a baby in a tree?
What if no one did find her?
No, that was stupid, someone would find her. The curse would be broken. It was her destiny and destiny couldn't be fought.
But if he couldn't find her, how was he supposed to keep her safe?
They were thoughts that just bothered him more than this world did. The technology, the duel personalities…people fearing him for the wrong reasons….he hated it here. He didn't have his magic and he was mortal and he felt vulnerable. He thought nothing would be worse than that cage Charmless and the little dwarf forced him into but this was.
The fifth day of his stay here, he opened his eyes, ready to face the mundaneness of it all.
He heard Dagian sob next to him as he sat up.
He barely looked over his shoulder. He had figured out a system, if he stayed out of the house long enough then he didn't have to deal with her and the pain those memories of what she'd done brought him. She'd go to bed and he could slip in later. Luckily their relationship didn't seem to be one that would require her to wait up for him.
Thank gods for that.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.
"Just a little headache, that's all."
The Mr. Gold side of him told him that she had these migraines quite often. It would be a consequence of her taking that potion. Well, it seemed like there would be after effects, he wasn't certain there would be.
"Oh," he said. Maybe she should've read the small print before she decided to mix and match potions, "Well, get well soon."
He stood and she turned, "Honey?"
"What?" he snapped.
"Would you bring me some juice please?"
He could refuse…but honestly he was tired of being petty. It was doing nothing to make him feel better about himself. She wasn't fighting back, she wasn't insulting him back, she just stood there and took it. Honestly, he was starting to see how little fun there was in punishing someone for their crimes when they couldn't remember their crimes.
Keeping her was a mistake. Forcing her to live with him so he could abuse her daily in revenge for what she'd done was a mistake. There was just…no thrill in it if she couldn't justify herself. He was starting to feel guilty for it.
He tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind as he went to get his wife something to drink before he started his day.
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Present Day
Rumpelstiltskin knew that she was coming even before she used her magic to unlock the door that the little wooden boy had built for them.
He could almost smell her.
He'd been sitting off to the side reading. Snow had managed to sit up but she still wouldn't talk to him. They both seemed to prefer the silence instead of the awkward small talk.
He watched her peel off her glove and storm over. Snow did not move to defend herself. Rumpelstiltskin wanted to think that it was because she knew he would protect her but he knew the truth. The guilt of tricking someone to take another life (not much more she could do) was too great. She thought she should pay with her life.
Well she certainly wouldn't pay to Regina.
He stepped in front of her. Her eyes widened as she nearly walked into her, "Nice try dearie," he mocked, "Did you really think it was going to be that easy?"
She sneered at his smug expression and looked over his shoulder towards Snow, "He can't be your guard dog forever."
Maybe not, but he could certainly guard her longer than Regina could summon the energy to go after her.
"I'll see you out," he hissed
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1983
Something happened.
Rumpelstiltskin wasn't sure what. Not completely. He'd seen the orange horseless carriage speeding down the street with the man and the boy that….he honestly didn't recognize. And then a few minutes later the Huntsman returned as did Regina and the stranger was in the car. The boy was nowhere to be found and that….was unsettling. Regina had a reputation for these sorts of things and the boy was too young to be out in the middle of the woods by himself.
A child separated from his father due to something neither one of them understood at the time…
It didn't leave his head all day. It unnerved and unsettled him. He just….wanted to go home. In the closest thing his home could be.
The house was dark when he got home. He found his wife still curled up in the bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked and stripped off his coat.
"I'm not in the mood to talk right now," she whispered.
He rubbed the back of his neck. Seeing her like this…curled up and hurting, he was struck with a rare feeling of pity. He was punishing her and he really wasn't finding any satisfaction out of it. Now that the magic was gone and the dark one wasn't whispering in his ear anymore…he knew this wasn't right. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't love him. He'd been the one to force her back…he was the one that looked for more in the relationship than there actually was and now she was the one being punished for it.
It was wrong…this was still Bae's mother.
He could still be angry with her, he could be furious but spending 28 years taking it out on her wasn't going to get anything accomplished but make him feel more like a coward.
Rumpelstiltskin quietly changed in the dark and sat on the edge of the bed. She was going to have these migraines for the next 28 years and she was going to have him for a husband which meant she was going to be isolated.
It was enough. No, it was more than enough.
"You've been treating me like crap all week," she whispered.
He lay down next to her "I'm sorry."
After all this week, (and the centuries before that), one might think he was lying but he honestly was beginning to feel guilt
"Tough week?" she asked. She didn't give him a rant for how he treated her. It was another reason why she wasn't like Dagian and it made him even more unhappy due to how different it was.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he whispered. He probably shouldn't talk to her like this though; he probably shouldn't talk to her in a way that he'd be attached. She would be gone in 28 years.
But it'd been five days in a world that he barely understood and he had no one to talk to. Maybe it was loneliness, he wasn't sure.
"Wanna talk about it?" she asked.
"Not really."
"Good," she reached behind her and slipped her hand into his, "Because I'm really not sure my head could endure you talking"
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Present Day
Rumpelstiltskin listened to Charming as he went over the events at the well. Regina had crawled back into her hole for the time being but he knew that it was only a matter of time before she came at them again. So she didn't use something to brainwash the son he'd acquired for her. She'd try to think of a new way to kidnap him.
He hung up the phone, "That was your husband; it seems Henry convinced Regina to destroy the curse. Which means my services are no longer required."
He tossed the phone on the bed and turned to leave.
"How do you do it?" Snow asked quietly.
He stopped, "Do what?"
But he knew what she was going to ask.
Snow looked at him, "Live with yourself, knowing all the bad things you've done?"
It was a sad thing that Rumpelstiltskin did not have to think about it. He didn't make excuses for what he'd done and he didn't try to justify it. He'd known he'd hurt people, he'd murdered and stolen and ruined lives…and he'd been doing it for so long and hurt so many that it was rare for him to even feel actual remorse for the pain he'd caused, "Well you tell yourself you did the right thing…and if you say it often enough….one day you might actually believe it."
But it was a lie. It was hardly that easy because after all those centuries…and seeing what it cost him for his 'necessary evil', Rumpelstiltskin no longer believed it himself.