Rumpelstiltskin knew that dreams didn't mean anything. If they did, then he had several about monkeys and zebras that he would need to be in therapy about.

But it was quite different to dream about murdering his grandson. This dream was a manifestation of his guilt. He made no plans to murder Henry; in fact the idea bloody well terrified him. But he couldn't deny that the idea had taken root. The Dark One's need to preserve his own life was whispering in his ear again and he was doing everything he could to ignore it.

To find peace, he had watched his son and his grandson playing in the park. Henry's favor was the key to Bae's. He couldn't hurt the boy…if he did his family would find out and they'd turn on him faster than he could blink. They'd have good reason to. He wasn't even sure he could live with himself if he hurt that boy.

Then Regina came. Disturbing his moment like she always did. When she asked what Bae was doing playing with Henry, he should've kept his mouth shut. He knew better than to feed into her paranoia and risk getting his son hurt or killed because of her jealousy.

But he, like he always did, opened his mouth. He marked his territory when it came to Henry and Regina turned on him. She used his family against him, she told him they would reject him and would never accept him.

No, they would. It was a work in progress. The reason Regina wasn't being accepted was because she kept trying to kill them. But Henry held out hope that she would turn. Just like Snow did.

That sort of thinking was going to get them killed.

If your own son couldn't bring out the good in you? Who will?

Regina had asked that. She had strutted off before he could point out the hypocrisy in her words…if he brought it on himself to do it.

But unlike Regina (through faults entirely her own), he did have people that cared about him enough to see the good in him. He still had people the loved him. And there was one visit that was long overdue. He had stayed away from her because of Regina but now she was back to what she normally did. Circling like a vulture and glaring and making idle threats.

And so, because of his own guilt about his dreams and that vile tongue of that woman…he took it upon himself to go see Belle.

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"Have you ever thought about going home?"

Dagian looked up from the story she was arranging things for the next morning's newspaper, "Home to where? Like…the enchanted forest? Or home as in down the street?"

"The Enchanted Forest," Emma said and stared down at her uneaten sandwich, "Do you think about going there?"

Dagian studied her for a few minutes. Both had sort of formed a friendship due to their newfound connection and adventures in Manhattan these past few weeks, so Dagian had learned when to tell that something was bothering Emma and vice versa. And something was definitely wrong now.

"I think about it sometimes," Dagian admitted, "More often as the days go by…but I don't dwell on it because there's no way to get home."

Emma was quiet.

Dagian tilted her head; her curiosity was now piqued, "Is there?"

"But the enchanted forest…it's destroyed. It's in ruins."

"Well Rumpelstiltskin will fix that, I imagine," Dagian said and took a sip of her coffee. She was facing a long day ahead of her.

Emma looked even guiltier, "It's not home for me."

Dagian couldn't say she didn't understand. The Enchanted Forest hadn't been her home for about 400 years either. The only thing she'd had was that room that Rumpelstiltskin bricked in once he realized what she'd done. In truth…everything she wanted was here. Work, Lily, Bae, Jefferson….

But what if Bae didn't want to go?

What if Bae didn't want to go and Jefferson did? What happened then? Were they at the place where she would want to follow Jefferson or Bae? No, she couldn't even consider that. They had agreed at the start of their relationship that the children they had would come before each other. Both had been separated from their respective children too long to consider anything else.

What if Bae and Tamara wanted to leave Storybrooke and start a family? Dagian couldn't follow…what if everyone else wanted to go home and she was left alone? What good was staying then?

What good was it if Bae and Tamara stayed for her?

Maybe it would be wrong to stay. To burden her son like that. She had promised Rumpelstiltskin that she'd pretty much turn a blind eye in whatever it cost to get their son back. He was back now…and as far as she was concerned, the deal was fulfilled. She and Bae had made their peace, they had found closure. Maybe it was selfish to stay and always be a visual reminder to him of what he'd been through. Maybe it was better to go if Jefferson went and start a family with him.

It wasn't until she sat there across from Emma that she realized she was desperate for a new beginning just the same as anyone.

But what was waiting for her over there? Dagian wasn't sure that a newspaper reporter was what the Enchanted Forest needed. It'd been so long since she'd been in the position of just a poor village peasant.

Dagian knew that she'd endure it though…she had been in worse conditions.

But to consider leaving Bae…even though they'd found closure and would more than likely leave on good graces…it just felt like abandoning him again.

Dagian looked at her friend…Rumpelstiltskin made it clear that he didn't think Bae would actually chose Tamara over Emma when everything came down to it. He still loved her and he loved his son. If Henry wanted to go to the Enchanted Forest, Emma would most definitely follow…but would Bae?

Well that would make everything a lot more easier.

"I can't…," Dagian started, "Tell you which you should decide. I imagine everyone else is making those hints already…but home doesn't choose you, Emma. You know that. Home is where you decide it's going to be. Whether that be a house here, or a castle or cabin there."

Emma looked scared almost. Dagian could understand that too. She had been through a lot these past months….Dagian wasn't even sure it'd all sunk in yet.

"Would you tell me what it was like over there?"

Dagian narrowed her eyes, "You've seen what it was like over there."

"I don't know what it was like before it was destroyed."

"Your parents don't tell you?" Dagian asked incredulously.

"I think they tend to romanticize it a bit," Emma shrugged, "And I'd like a collection of answers so that I know."

"You do realize I was asleep for 400 years, my answers to your questions might no longer be accurate."

"I doubt things changed all that much," Emma muttered.

"I'm not sure my tale has parts in it that would convince you to go back."

"I'm not here to listen to why I should go back," Emma said, "I'm here to ask for the truth."

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He had wanted to fight for her.

When Rumpelstiltskin got to the room and he saw the way she looked at him, he saw Belle in there. Or better yet he saw parts of Belle in there fighting to get out and he realized that his cause wasn't lost.

The way she touched him when she said she sensed things about people was almost like how Belle had touched him….

When he was human, he hadn't understood what a 21 year old woman with her options ahead of her would see in a 35 year old man that was too shy to even look at her unless he was helping her. But Dagian had persisted in becoming his wife because she saw something in him that no one else did. Now, 400 years later it was the same thing. Of course Belle was a couple of years older than Dagian had been at the time and through more…but he was still didn't understand what Belle could possibly see in him.

She asked for the truth. She asked if he had healed her.

And he didn't answer her directly. To do so would either make her disbelieve him or focus on magic…and that wasn't what he was here for. He was here for assurances that he could be a good man despite his magic.

So he didn't exactly lie to her but he wasn't truthful. He gave the excuse of the medicines they had her on and her trauma…and when he saw the light fade in her eyes, he promised that once she remembered then it would all become clear.

Once. Not 'if'…he still held hope that her love for him would eventually surface and break this curse that she was in. And so they made a small deal. He would help her if she would help him…Belle was in there. He could find her. He could take her home and take care of her and build up their relationship. She had spent…so long fighting for him and now it was his turn to fight for her. And she would fall in love with him again and he'd wake her up.

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The fire had died a long time ago but neither Jefferson nor Dagian had gotten up to put another long on.

It was evening…it was starting to get dark. They should probably turn on a light but neither moved. The couch was comfortable. Jefferson was upright but slouched up against the couch. Dagian was curled up against him. She wondered how he could've been comfortable but…he was. They kept a blanket wrapped around them for warmth. Lily slept in a small cradle that Jefferson had built. He used one long leg to push the cradle slowly. The other rested on the ground. He held an arm around Dagian and rubbed her arm every now and then.

Dagian liked these moments. She didn't need to look at Jefferson or talk to him to know that he was there. Sometimes she much preferred these moments of comfortable silence. There was no need to go out to dinner or to dance or anything else to date. They were just…there…relaxing. Nothing was really said, there weren't really large outward shows of affection, they were just there together…enjoying the evening.

Dagian stretched her neck and looked up at him, "I have a question."

"Okay," he said. Dagian could hear the sleep in his voice.

"Have you….thought about what would happen if we went home?"

"Always," he told her, "Grace's parents and I have decided we would find a village that we could share…and continue this joint custody nonsense."

Dagian rubbed his abdomen and felt the taut muscles, Dagian knew that he was jealous of Grace's other family. But he endured them because he knew they were a good influence for her. Far better than he thought he was.

Dagian slipped her hand through his fingers, "And…what…what have you thought for us should we go back home?"

He kissed her temple gently, "I was sort of hoping that we'd officially be a family before we all went home. I thought your relationship to me went without saying."

"Are you proposing to me?" she mused.

"I've proposed to you several times and you keep either turning me down or putting it off."

Dagian rested her head on his chest. She wasn't sure what her answer was going to be. She wasn't…exactly eager to rush into marriage or taking larger steps in the relationship. Dagian wasn't even sure she loved Jefferson. She thought she might…but she thought she loved Filib and Rumpelstiltskin but she'd made a show of mucking those relationships up.

Maybe third time was a charm.

If she loved him, then she could be happy. She could be happy as a single mother too but she did want to be with someone. And when she imagined that someone she imagined him.

But there was still the matter of her son.

"I want to talk to Bae first," Dagian told him, "We still have things that we need to talk about…and when he and I talk…I'll have an answer for you."

"Okay," he whispered and ran a hand through her hair. She smiled at the affectionate gesture and embraced him. He kissed her forehead and rested his head on hers.

"Maybe we should get some sleep," Dagian said.

"Here's good," he muttered, put his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

"We'll be stiff in the morning."

"But we're comfortable now," he muttered.

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Regina ruined it. It all came crashing down because of her. They had nothing in common. Regina had made sure of that much. There was nothing for them there, he had realized. 'Lacey' was nothing more than a giant middle finger to him. She wasn't a real person. Everything about her was so 'anti-Belle' that Rumpelstiltskin knew it was a lost cause as soon as she started talking to him.

He wanted to take the coward's way out. He wanted to just tell himself that 'Lacey' was better off without him. Belle was better off not remembering him. This way, she wouldn't be in danger. Everyone was content to leave her along until they found out about her affiliation with him. Maybe he should just stop fighting. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. He should focus on his baby daughter instead. He should focus on his son and his grandson. He could still prove Regina wrong if he focused on helping the Charmings. One day they would accept him.

But that was the coward speaking. That wasn't Lacey's body that she was playing with. That was Belle's and Belle deserved way better than that.

It had taken begging and (ugh.) a promise to owe him a favor to get Charming to help him. But Rumpelstiltskin knew that he only did it for Belle's sake. And if it weren't for Charming, then Rumpelstiltskin would've never found the spine to ask her on a date.

She had accepted.

He had thought it was going well. He thought…from her words that mirrored Belle exactly that he was doing well. Maybe there was a spark and if he could fan it…it would turn into a flame.

And once again….it all got dashed when she abandoned the date for a quick one in the alleyway with the Sheriff of Nottingham.

That wasn't her body. That was Belle's body and she was just a guest in it. Didn't she understand that? She was nothing more than a product of a sick woman's imagination.

Regina could've done anything she wanted to him but she chose to attack his loved ones.

He tried…so hard to be good. And he was so very very tired. He muzzled himself for his former wife and his daughter and his son and Belle's memory…and he just had enough. What had it gotten him? His wife had divorced him and he had to ask or offer to see his daughter. He couldn't even face his son because that would mean acknowledging what he'd done to get him back.

And Belle was…gone.

There was no getting her back.

The Sheriff approached him to apologize and that was his first mistake. Rumpelstiltskin had been more than happy to just let him go until he'd been approached. The second mistake the man had made had persisting.

And Rumpelstiltskin had enough. Cora had nearly walked all over him and it'd nearly cost him his life. Regina had walked all over him and it cost him Belle. What was being good getting anyone?

So he took it out of the Sheriff. Oh, he claimed he was beating him for that ill-fated meeting in the Sherwood Forest when he asked to have a night with Belle, but Rumpelstiltskin knew even then that he'd be lying if he said that was the main reason.

And when Lacey had found him and he saw that lust in her eyes…that untapped potential that was just begging to be released…he knew what he had to do.

"You really are as dark as people say."

It would cost him Dagian's respect, and it would cost him his daughter, and his son most likely but he was doing it for a good reason and they would understand.

To save Belle, he had to become the beast again. To get Lacey to start loving him…he would have to go down that road.

And he'd been down it so many times; it would be easy to go back. He wasn't worried.

He gave a carefree shrug, "Darker dearie…much darker."

And he turned and beat the former sheriff until he and Lacey grew bored with the game.