034 difficult

Character:Tobias

Tobias watched his opponent carefully, looking for any opening that he might be able to exploit. His opponent suddenly moved forward and Tobias shifted his attention to defense. He blocked punches and kicks but couldn't turn the tide. He didn't see the blow coming, just felt it and the floor as he hit the mat.

"What's wrong with you, Tobias? You usually counter that move." The older man moved over and held his hand out.

Tobias took the hand and let the other man help him up. "Sorry, Sensei. I'm a bit distracted." Tobias moved over to the edge of the mat and sat down. He grabbed his water bottle and settled in.

"You are usually so focused. What's wrong?" Tobias' Sensei sat down beside him. "If we cannot clear our minds then all choices are being made in that fog. We must keep our minds clear. What has you distracted?"

Tobias hesitated for a moment before speaking. "This week is the anniversary of a bad event in my life." His Sensei motioned for him to continue. "A little while before I came to train and work here I lost the most important person in my life."

"You did seem troubled when you came here. Part of the reason I accepted you was you seemed to need the discipline. What happened?" To Tobias his Sensei had always been like a second father to Tobias. He was someone that Tobias felt he could be truly be honest with.

"I was on a date with my girlfriend, walking home from the movies. We were only fifteen so we had to walk. We were just walking down the street when this guy came out of an alley. I used to get in a lot of fights so when he pulled a knife and tried to mug us I wasn't afraid. The thing was I didn't really know how to fight. Back then I always lost. You remember that scar on my side, he stabbed me. He stabbed her as well but he missed most of my major organs but he didn't on her. I woke up in the hospital room and she was gone. She's part of the reason I wanted to learn to fight. If I'd been able to do something maybe I could have stopped him, saved her." Tobias hung his head. "I don't want to be weak."

"You are not weak," his Sensei asserted. "You didn't lie down in your sorrow and give up. The most difficult part of losing someone is continuing on without them. You have become much stronger since then and I believe that you survived for a reason." Tobias frowned at him, not liking the insinuation that Natalie had died because she didn't have a reason to survive. "What I mean is that I believe you survived because you have another purpose in this world. There is something that you still need to do. What that is I do not know, but I believe you have something yet to come."

Tobias sighed, not sure if he believed the same thing. "Maybe, but I have no idea what it could possibly be that I'm meant to do." Tobias pulled his knees up to his chest. "Does that mean Natalie didn't have a purpose, a reason to survive?"

"Not for certain. It might be that what you're meant to do is important enough that death would be too soon. People always think that a knife missing their organs is luck, but it is what is meant to be. Not all fairs are set, but yours is."

Tobias just groaned. He had no idea if he believed it but at the moment it was hard to believe there was some greater purpose for him or there hadn't been one for Natalie.

His Sensei stood and Tobias looked up to him. "Think of this, Tobias. Would you have come here if she didn't die?" He moved away and Tobias was left stunned. He wasn't sure if it was more the insinuation that she had died to push him down a path or that he was right, Tobias wouldn't have come to the dojo if not for having lost Natalie.