A day in the life of Pururu. – By The-Derp-We-Call-Taruru
((Disclaimer. I own nothing. Nothing at all. O3o ))
{{A/N: Good afternoon my dear readers~
I am supposed to be working on my literature coursework right now but hey, it's bankholiday and no one should have to work on bankholidayyyyy.
So anyway, I was watching the news this morning with my boarding roommates and there was this whole thing about the world's largest rubber duck passing through Hong Kong yesterday. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, now my entire school thinks I am a lunatic because no-one understood why I was laughing. I am sleep deprived okay, this was really really funny to me at the time. I only mention this because I thought maybe you guys could somewhat relate.
Anyway, now that I have shared that completely irrelevant piece of information.
THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE REVEIWS! Iloveyouallsomuch. If I ever meet any of my readers in real life, I shall bake you all cookies. That is how much I love you.
So yeah, I had a chapter planned, but a couple of other people did similar things in their story's, and then I just felt like people would think I was copying or something. So I came up with something different. It's off the top of my head so forgive me if it's a little rough. This may not even make sense, I mean, I'm pretty tired and this was a really random idea and I have had a LOT of caffeine and sugar and stuff so…
No really. You guys need to forgive me for this.
I am sorry. I am so so sorry.
I may have accidently kinda sorta genderbent the Garuru platoon…
oopsie. Forgive me~ *trollface*
…This will be… may be…extremely out of character at some points. In a few ways I have tried to swap character roles and such. Uhh…you'll see….eheheh….
Sorry.
Enjoy~}}
Work diary: day 33
Oh headquarters, it's been the strangest few days. Forgive me for being so late with my report. I have seen things in the last few days that will make me feel awkward for the rest of my life. Goodness me…
Oh, let me start at the beginning. So, the last thing I wrote about was that trip to space Disneyland right? Right. Well, remember how I said the lieutenant grounded Tororo for recording him riding on the cute ride with the plastic space ponys with me at the end? Apparently Tororo really doesn't respond well to punishments. We should probably take note of this by now. It's not the first time he's gotten punished and tried to get revenge. Remember Garuru being glued to his chair?
We spent the whole of the next day traveling towards the next destination for our new mission. We were sent to one of the inhabited moons of the planet Ragastellia four. It was a huge place, filled with houses and shops and people. It was so…new aged…so futuristic. I mean, I thought Keron was advanced but these guys…
Just wow.
I think the mission was that we were supposed to go and rescue a Keronjin prince that had gotten kidnapped by a gang of vipers or something and taken here, being held hostage inside the giant fortress…thingy in the middle of the city. Why they chose this particular moon I will never know…
Anyway so yes. We arrived on this planet at about eight am the next morning.
Tororo had been grounded for the entire day of traveling beforehand, and the leader was being strict, so the tadpole wasn't even allowed proper food, only that gross type G stuff. None of us had thought to go and see what he was doing in his room for all that time. Normally he whines and complains, even though he rarely leaves his room anyway, even when he's not grounded. This time he was silent, we really should have checked on him. Turns out he was plotting revenge.
Just as we were getting up to leave, Tororo was let out to come and have breakfast with us. He was being unusually polite. It was very suspicious. He made us all coffee.
We should not have drunk that coffee.
Turns out that if you leave an evil genius like Tororo to brew in his own childish anger for too long, bad things will happen. So he didn't just take revenge on the leader. Oh no. Suddenly it was everyone's fault he was grounded. He had spent all of his time making some kooky chemical formula that modified chromosomes. What is wrong with this guy? Why can't he just do what normal immature, angry tadpoles do and make coffee from toilet water or something instead? No. It had to be a chemical poison that directly effects peoples DNA temporarily!
And we were dumb enough to give him the benefit of the doubt and drink it.
Then again, he himself was idiotic enough to take a victory sip….from one of our poisoned cups.
The next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor. I don't know what happened, I must have passed out half way through the cup, I spilled coffee all over myself too. I freaked out really bad when I woke up. The first thing I noticed was that my tail was gone. It's sort of a habit of mine, I check my tail first thing every single morning. To make sure it is still there…not that I'm old…or anything…just to be sure okay…
The first thing I thought to do when I woke up was to check for it, as I always do. It was gone. I screamed. I know it sounds silly, but I really panicked over it. I went into a complete traumatic state for ages. I thought I had gone into a coma and woken up as an old woman….
But no. Far from it actually.
I felt so strange too…not myself at all. Suddenly my head felt very clouded. I had this…weird urge to just…fight people and blow up stuff. I suddenly really wanted to go and wrestle with the guys and go and kick some bad guy butt. You know? It was really odd, I don't recall ever having any desire to do things like that before. After a few moments of getting over my feeling old…episode…. I realized something was odd. I remember getting up from the ground just as Taruru ran into the room, screaming bloody murder. Ahahaha, it scared the life out of me. ^^; …For some reason I didn't want him to know that he had made me jump. For reasons unknown to me I was suddenly very angry that he shocked me like that and so I thumped him in the face and knocked him down….
I didn't know I had that much strength. ._.
I apologised anyway and got out my first aid kit and made sure he was okay. He was fine except for a bloody nose. He just looked….different. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time. It was only when he woke up and I saw his eyes that I noticed it. Taruru was a….girl….
He had his tadpole tail back, his hat had big floppy extensions on, and his eyes were so big and shiny, with big fluttery eyelashes. He might have been prettier than me…I feel jealous…
He was so upset about having back his tail, he was getting all emotional and miserable, thinking he had gotten younger and would be kicked out of the army or something. Poor guy…..girl…..uh….oh gosh this is going to get confusing isn't it. =~=
Right. Well it turns out we weren't the only two to have our genders…swapped. What Tororo had created and out into our coffee was an experiment that changed your DNA…making you into the opposite gender. After calming Taruru down and staring at myself in horror in the mirror for goodness know how long, I managed to find the others. Oh gosh, I know it was completely inappropriate, but I really had to try so hard not to laugh at everyone. I actually have photos, the leader ordered me to destroy them but…I just couldn't okay. It was too funny. All the boys were…girls. They all looked so cute, with their tails and eyelashes and rosy cheeks.
I think everyone was freaking out a little. The lieutenant still kept his…um…her?...(I will stick with the normally correct terms for now so to not make this any more confusing than it already is to write.), his cool, like he always does. He remained calm and demanded that we all settled down, I found it a little difficult to take him seriously with that voice…it was so much more high pitched than normal. He looked so funny though too, he made a very pretty girl. Ahahahaha. Oh goodness I don't even know how to explain. I will attach the photos I took with my journal entry so you can see. Oh gosh please don't tell anyone though, the platoon will hate me if they find out I spread those photos around.
Tororo is now grounded for a month, and the leader hit him round the head with rolled up newspaper and yelled at him. He cried for about twenty minutes, I don't even think it hurt. He was acting pretty pathetic, I think the others even sympathised with him a little…
I have no sympathy.
The lieutenant insisted we continue with the mission anyway, Tororo said the effects of this would ware off after a day and we'd turn back within twenty four hours anyway. The mission was pretty important, we didn't have time to spare. So like soldiers, we worked through this minor set back and got back to work. So we set out into civilization.
Then came right back inside. Apparently suddenly being a different gender makes you very…very self-conscious.
We eventually managed to get down to the mission anyway.
We had to walk the majority of the way up to the fortress. They would not let us bring the ship into the city due to its size. It was a pretty long walk all the way there, everyone kept getting distracted. Especially Taruru. He kept running up to shop windows and pointing out things, like toys and candy and clothes. At one point he insisted on running inside one of the shops, he came out wearing the most ridiculous make-up, and a bright pink feather boa. Even though the leader kept demanding he take it all off and stop treating the situation like a joke, he kept it all on anyway. He's still wearing it now actually….strange kid. Tororo complained the whole time. He kept saying his feet hurt, and that he was tired. At one point a random Tractonian man came up to us and started flirting with Zoruru. It was he funniest thing, even the leader was trying really hard not to laugh. I think Zoruru was mortified. It was hilarious. Well…it was until Zoruru flipped out and threatened to disembowel the poor man in a very…um….graphic description. It was so violent that Tororo passed out. I had to carry him the rest of the way. It was really strange having to be the one to carry someone else. Anyway, no-one bothered us again after that.
The lieutenant was entirely focused on the mission at all times. Just like normal. I guess male or female, he is always a very focused and mature person. He kept asking me if I would come and walk at the front with him though. That was kind of weird. Normally I just walk at the back, the leader has never called upon me to walk with him at the front before. He walked so closely to me too, it made me a little uncomfortable and I kept moving away. He seemed so disappointed every time I shuffled away slightly. There was something a little odd about the way he was acting, I just couldn't put my finger on it.
I tripped over quite a few times throughout the day. I felt really un-balanced without my tail… I think the others were laughing at me too. It was so embarrassing. I did not like being a male. Not one bit.
Eventually we made it to the fortress. Getting inside proved very tricky, the place was heavily guarded with viper henchmen. Our first attempt was sneaking in. We got Zoruru to zip up to one of the high windows and sneak in, the plan was that he could throw down a rope and we could all climb up . That attempt failed, Zoruru got up to the window, but the window snapped shit and his tail got stuck. Then he fell down. Poor guy, I guess he's not used to having a tail while doing assassin type stuff. Haha.
The second attempt was to break in. This one was Taruru's specialty. He used his laser eyes on the door guards, who freaked and moved out of the way. Taruru managed to set his eyelashes on fire by using this attack. He then proceeded to run around like a headless chicken before throwing himself into a lake. So yes…plan B failed too. We then got chased by the guards. The lieutenant summoned his sniper rifle and shot at them. His aim wasn't as good as normal though and he missed a couple of times before he hit. He was mumbling something about the gun being too heavy. Before I could question, we'd already moved onto plan C. We managed to get inside, but there were still guards everywhere.
Tororo did not like plan C. It involved him being put in to a bikini. Plan C was to distract the guards inside and then sneak through and find the prince. It did actually work…very effectively. We put Tororo in a bright pink bikini, it was extremely funny, he was so angry. I think it was the leaders secret revenge for putting us into this mess in the first place. Hahaha. All the guards were so confused as to what was happening as Tororo shamelessly attempted to do some sort of sexual dancing to distract them. It looked like he was just kind of jumping and flailing, it took everything inside of me not to start laughing uncontrollably. Anyway, we snuck past the guards and made it down to the dungeon where the prince was being kept.
It was a pretty grim place down there, all murky and smelly and full of bugs. You wouldn't have expected a place like this to be inside that beautiful great big, futuristic fortress. The floor was all covered in mud and blood. I admit, it was a little creepy in retrospect, and very gross. At the time, I really think it didn't affect me in the slightest. I don't think I minded traipsing through slime at all actually. The others…well they did not seem so comfortable. Especially Taruru, he kept making these high pitched squealing noises and hopping from foot to foot, whining about how gross it was. Zoruru and the lieutenant didn't really show it as much, but they both looked extremely uncomfortable. Zoruru insisted on walking on the ceiling. At one point a large beetle scuttled past us and ran up the leaders leg, he didn't say anything but he kind of just froze there with this look of horror on his face for ages, I'm sure I saw him visibly shudder. He wouldn't move again until it had climbed back down and scuttled off, then he just went on as if it had never happened. It was really weird, I've never seen the leader act like that.
We found the prince right at the very corner of the large dungeon. He was tied to a chair and gagged and vipers were surrounding him. He looked pretty terrified. We hid and watched for a while, trying to come up with a tactics plan. Normally our plans involve running strait in and eliminating whatever the threat is. Suddenly though now, everyone seemed to think violence was not the answer. I remember being really annoyed about this. For some reason I had this uncontrollable urge to go and kill those bad guys. I think I have a much better understanding of the workings of the male mind now. All these testosterone fuelled emotions to go and fight.
They came up with this very clever plan to try and trick the vipers into moving away, and then using a dummy to replace the prince. I wasn't having any of it though. At the time I let my hormones get the better of me, I couldn't supress this incredible desire to go and hit something. So I completely ignored the plan and ran out of the hiding place with my giant needle in attack mode.
My way worked just as well. There were no vipers left when I was done with them. The guys were just standing there gawping at me. I guess they hadn't expected me to flip out like that. I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed at that sudden outburst. I'm not sure whether the others were impressed or scared quite frankly…
Long story short, we managed to rescue the prince and bring him back to Keron. It was only once we got back to the ship with him that we realized that we'd forgotten all about Tororo. We went back to look for him and when we found him he was pole dancing around a lamppost. …He explained, but it was a long story. ^^;
It was very funny though.
The trip back was not a smooth one. Turns out that there were more vipers in the building. They followed us and stalked our ship in their own viper ship. It ended up all guns blazing. Our small ship was no match for their big ship either, we got blown to pieces and crash landed back down on another planet in the middle of the jungle.
Luckily, I think they must have thought they had killed us because they didn't come searching for us anymore after that. Vipers are a bit dim. Everyone knows that if you crash an enemy ship, you always need to go and check for survivors. Luckily, we all survived. Keronjins have very thick skulls. Although, we were all a little worse for wear. The ship was completely smashed up too, it was completely unfixable according to Tororo.
We ended up setting up camp and contacting you guys at headquarters to come and send a rescue ship. Normally the leader would absolutely despise the idea of us asking for help, I think it's a pride thing. I guess being a female made him a little less hard headed for a while. Hahaha.
We started a nice campfire and made shelter and we had enough food in the ship to last us through the night. It was actually pretty nice. Everyone all seemed very uncomfortable still though, except for Taruru, who for whatever reason seemed very happy with being a girl for the time being. I didn't like that prince fellow very much. I'm not sure why, I think I just felt a little competitive perhaps. I think Tororo, Taruru and Zoruru liked him though. Maybe a little too much… Actually I'm pretty sure they were discretely flirting with him a little bit. I'm not sure whether it was very funny, or extremely awkward.
It was a very long night anyway, and that was pretty entertaining to watch. I think the prince was very uncomfortable with it all.
The lieutenant sat right next to me. he doesn't normally take any interest in me at all. Today he was just acting really weird. Then again, I think that poisoned coffee made us all act a bit weird today. He just kept…you know…asking me all these random questions. They didn't really make any sense to me at the time, and they weren't at all related to the mission or anything. I kept nodding along and giving logical answers, for some reason I think I upset him. I'm not even sure what I said. He just called me 'dense' then stomped off and went to sit with Taruru.
I should probably wrap this journal entry up quickly because something in the room next door just exploded…I should probably go and see what's going on…um…
So long story short. The poison wore off the next morning. It really freaked out the poor prince, ahaha. Everyone was extremely relived though. Gosh, I have never been so pleased to see my tail in my whole life. I would have kissed it is I could have reached round that far. The guys all spent the rest of the day acting….particularly macho. I guess this whole thing probably deflated their ridiculous male egos a bit. Even Tororo started wrestling with Taruru on the ground, and that boy rarely moves voluntarily unless there is pizza around. The leader and Zoruru were the worst, it was sorta funny watching them. Every time one of them said anything, suddenly it was the most offensive thing ever said and they would start yelling. For a moment at one point I thought they were going to murder each other, the lieutenant even summoned a gun.
Boys for you I guess…
A ship came to pick us up that very afternoon. I suppose since we were with a member or royalty, we were given assistance as soon as possible. Haha.
And that brings us to now. We are being towed off back to Keron. Hopefully we won't get in any trouble for wrecking the back-up ship…heheh…^^;
…There is smoke coming under my door and there is a lot of yelling and banging going on…I better…go now…
Uhm…I'll update again when possible.
Sincerely, Pururu~
{{A/N: Sorry, this could have been lot better. I think I ran out of steam half way through. Sorrysorrysorry. I will write something better next time.
I am sorry about all of this out of character-ness.;w;
I could not help myself. The idea was controlling me. And I have sugar. Sugar screws up my brain.
Goodnight readers~}}