Meg held the steaming cup of coffee to her lips and blew gently before taking a sip. Cas sat absentmindedly running his finger around the rim of his cup, staring into the coffee as if it held the key to all of life's mysteries.

"What's wrong?" Meg asked, peeking at Cas over the rim of her ceramic cup. He shook his head and glanced up at her before looking back down into the coffee.

"Nothing."

Meg squinted. "Cas. You've got your intense face on. I know something is wrong."

Cas has the kind of face that's hard to read. Half the time his own parents couldn't even tell when something was wrong. So it was profound to him that Meg could tell something was wrong just by the way he held his eyes. For a moment he thought of telling her everything. But how would he look then? Like an insecure, pathetic, jealous boyfriend. And he didn't want her to see him that way. So he avoided eye contact, swallowed hard and answered,

"It's nothing, really Meg. I just overthink things sometimes."

She looked at him for a few seconds, but to him it felt like a lifetime. Like she was studying every part of his face. Then she smiled, crooked her finger and leaned across the table.

"I hate that I can't reach you when you get lost in your mind. But you look so beautiful when you do." Then she leaned in even closer and pressed her cherry lips to his. His eyes flew shut as he lost himself in the softness of her lips, the lingering taste of coffee on her lips. She skimmed her nose against his before backing up and looking in his eyes. He's always thought that the night sky was the prettiest thing that God created, but after seeing the look on her face after she kissed him, he knew that nothing could ever measure up.

She looked at him, her eyes glimmering, and in a split second the words tumbled out of her mouth.

"I love you." She said it suddenly, almost unintentionally. It was so sudden that they both just sat back and looked at each other, in awe.

He was silent.

Her heart dropped in her chest.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, what is wrong with you? She kicked herself. Her face was growing pink and her palms were slick with sweat. "Excuse me." She said, smiling weakly and standing up. "I, uh. I've got to use the ladies room. Be back in a flash."

She tried to manage a wink but her eye wouldn't cooperate. Can an eye be heartbroken? She held herself together until she reached the bathroom, and then she collapsed. Leaning against the cool ceramic sink, she cried. She had never told anyone she loved them. Ever. Not even Luke, whom she had come the closest to ever loving. Luke had told her over and over again that he loved her, and she'd say that she knew, or she just wasn't ready to be in love. But with Castiel it was different. Every time he was near her entire body screamed I love you, I love you, I. Love. You.

And she finally said it.

But he hadn't said it back.

So, he didn't love her for now, and it hurt but it was okay. She would rather him not say it, than say it out of obligation.

She inspected herself in the mirror. Her lipstick was a little smudged and her eyes were still slightly swollen from crying, but other than that, she looked okay. She walked back out to their table, desperately hoping that things wouldn't be awkward.

They were.

The moment she sat back down, Castiel panicked. "Your lips taste like coffee." He blurted. She raised an eyebrow.

"Uh. Sorry? I guess."

"No, don't be sorry. It's a good. A good taste."

So much for things not being awkward. Cas swallowed hard, ignoring the cotton feeling of his throat. "Meg listen I'm-"

"Don't. It's fine, Castiel." She interrupted, stabbing a forkful of pancake and shoving it in her mouth.

Cas' fists clenched under the table. He did love her, so why didn't he say it back? He didn't know what held him back when she'd said it. But he wanted to tell her now. So badly. But somehow he knew that if he said it now, she would never believe it. So he kept his mouth shut, and ate his cold pancakes.