He took a sip of his mint tea and rubbed his neck. Meg had insisted he take her home. So now he sat alone in his apartment with his thoughts.

Laying his fingers on the keys of his typewriter, he tried to make the words flow. He'd started and restarted this novel thirty times so far. And lately every time he sat down to write, he would end up writing poetry. Most of them about her. But he never showed her. He was too embarrassed, thought maybe it would be too much for her. Perhaps not since she'd confessed her love for him over breakfast.

He pushed at his temples, trying to loosen his pounding headache. He did love her, he could feel it. He just knew by the way his heart swelled in his chest whenever she was around, the way she made him want to move the moon and stars, just for her. But for some reason, he hadn't been able to say the words. How hard could those three little words be? I love you. Simple.

He knew why. He knew why he couldn't say it. He was too afraid of losing her. He thought that it would hurt too much to tell her that he loved her, and then have her leave him.

He stood up from his typewriter and began pacing back and forth, his bare feet padding on the uneven wooden floor.

She'd looked so hurt. No matter how hard she had tried to hide it, he knew. The way her eyes had squinted to hold back tears. Her tight lipped smile. Just thinking about it made his chest tighten with remorse. She was the last person in the universe he wanted to hurt. But once again he'd screwed things up. He seemed to have a knack for that.

He bit his lip and glanced over at the phone. He could always call her and try to make things right. He should apologize. Tell her that he did in fact love her. But he didn't want to cheapen it. He wanted her to believe it when he said it, and not think he was only trying to preserve her feelings.

So instead of trying to fix things, he did nothing.

( )

Meg stared at her bedroom ceiling. She knew this feeling. This crushing pressure in her chest. The fogginess in her mind.

It was familiar to her.

Rejection.

Clarence didn't feel about her the way that she did, and she tried so hard to make herself believe that it was okay. You can't make someone love you, or want you.

She thought back the first time she had really approached Castiel. She had never been bold enough to approach him before. He seemed so far off. So stoic and sophisticated. But when she'd found out he was working at the auto body her car was in, she had to take a chance. It took just about all of her strength to ask him out to lunch. She was so relieved when he'd said yes.

She remembered feeling so comfortable with him. Like she didn't have to pretend, put on a show. She could just be herself with him, and for someone who had been pretending for most of their life, this was extraordinary.

Right now, it hurt to think about that. She felt distant from him and the memories took on a bittersweet feel.

She didn't want to think about it anymore. So she swung her legs over the edge of her bed and stood up, smoothing out her dress. Just as she was headed to the kitchen the phone rang. Involuntarily her heart leapt.

Cas

She cleared her throat and tried to slow her breathing before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Replied a familiar voice. But it wasn't Cas.

"Oh, hey Luke. How are you?" She tried not to sound disappointed. Why had she thought it would be Cas?

She could almost here the smile in Luke's voice as he replied, "Good, good. So, I was wondering if I could take you for a drive? You know just catch up. Reminisce the good old days."

Meg hesitated. It didn't seem right to be alone with someone else when she was with Cas. But then again maybe she should. She liked Luke and Luke cared about her. He persued a relationship with her. Enjoyed her company. It couldn't be that bad to go out with him.

She swallowed hard. "Sure. Pick me up?

"I'll be there at nine. I was thinking a late night drive."

Meg gnawed at her lower lip. "Alright. See you then."

She held the phone in her hand for a few moments before setting it back down onto the reciever with a thud.

What am I doing? Rang through her mind. But she chose to ignore the uneasy feeling. She wasn't going to do anything wrong. She was simply catching up with an old friend.

Right?