As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)
Read and review please, means a whole lot.

Castiel

It had been three days since Willow had gone and I had no idea what to do with myself except to sit inside Bobbys over crowded front room in shocked silence alongside everyone else. The only person who was talking at all was Balthazar and Castiel was beginning to feel his annoyance as he paced the front room as he finally snapped, his English accent becoming more pronounced the angrier he got.
"What is wrong with you lot?" Balthazar almost yelled, "You are just going to give up? Leave her to face this on her own, and be done with it? You guys are acting like she's dead damn it."
"She might as well be," I heard the works escape my lips and instantly I hated myself for saying it but I knew it was true, I hoped it was. I simply can't, I thought to myself, think about Willow being alive in there for the rest of eternity with no escape. Not my warrior princess.
I dared to lift my head and meet my brothers eyes as he looked at me with disbelief etched into his features, turned on his heel and disappeared within seconds. I sighed and put my head in my hands, thinking of what would be happening now if Willow was still here with us, in my arms. If the angels, my brothers, didn't poison her.
I have no idea how much longer the four of us sat in silence, but as much as I tried to talk, all the words got stuck in my throat, because I wanted to hear Willow voice instead. Hear her laugh, see her take a drag of her cigarette and winkle her nose when the room got too smoky. I just wanted her.

"You know," Dean said huskily, breaking the tense silence, making me jerk upright, "when we first met Willow she wouldn't talk for weeks on end, and then one day she walked downstairs and just started asking questions and Bobby – do you remember? We just sat there looking at her like she was an alien. But around John she never spoke. She was always so quiet until she reached sixteen."
At first I didn't understand why Dean was telling us until Sam spoke up, "I remember when you and Dad were hunting before I left and me and Willow just watched House re-runs all day, back when Dad didn't know she smoked and used to dangle out the bathroom window so he wouldn't smell it."
Which was when I realised why Balthazar got so angry, because I could feel the same rage bubbling up inside of me. Willow was still alive, deep inside and we were already talking as if she was dead, and as the anger built up inside me, all the hopelessness and hurt somehow disappeared and I felt sick with rage.
"Stop it," I growled, "she's not dead."
Sam looked at me sympathetically but both Bobby and Dean kept their heads ducked down, "even you said it, the grace inside of her is too powerful we can't do anything," I could hear Sam say, but everything else seemed muffled to me, my thoughts were shouting at me, I was missing something and it could save Willow. I nearly cried out but focused on all training which I had in heaven to keep my voice as calm as I could.
"At full capacity," I said slowly, trying to push my thoughts into order before I carried on, "Lucifer wants his grace though but her also. So he will keep a small amount inside Willow to keep her Possessed. But if we can get in, and see Willow once that has happened then she could break through and take back control. She could do that easily once there is a little amount of grace she just needs a push. She can live."
I looked at everyone who was now looking at me with dumbfounded expressions and I couldn't help but to just smile, a little bit, trying to push down the hope but I secretly rejoiced in it. For the first time in three days I didn't feel worthless and crushed for not saving her, because I still could."
"You think that'll work?" Dean jumped to his feet, his eyes boring into mine and I tried my hardest to return the gaze, even though his eyes reminded me of Willows it was comfort in a way.
"If it doesn't then she will surely kill us, which is why I am going," I said quietly without thinking about it, because it was true. I had no life without her. She was the one who taught me now to feel – that it was okay to feel, and I never stopped to think what would happen if she was gone, because it was as if all the good feelings she taught me, well they left with her.
"Cas you're not going," Dean raised his eyebrows at me and I sighed, "not by yourself."
"Yes I am," I said adamantly, "they will notice you coming, I can just 'zap' in and try and save her."
"And if you die?" Sam said simply, standing beside Dean, "she wanted us to keep you safe."
"Willows not here, it's my choice. If Willow is dead, then killing me will be the safest thing ever."

Please review aha, feed the starving writer!