A/N Sorry for the late update. Real life is kicking my behind big time. Just couldn't settle down enough to think clearly.
I own this story only, not the characters
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She tells herself that she enters the tournament because she is curious to find out how she will fare against some of the most experienced and famed archers in the five kingdoms. She has only three full days to sharpen her skills. She had taken part in a lot of tourneys in the past, but for some reason this one is making her quite nervous. She had been entering them since she was a juvenile and as time went by it was as if it was expected of her to enter. But in Camelot she did not have to. She could have easily begged to be excused. However, anyone who knows her knows that she has never been one to back away from a challenge. It was not just on account of her pride but she found that it made her perform better when she pushed herself beyond what she had done before. She was not afraid to try new things or go into unchartered territory. That is what had got her this far. In this coming tournament, she would find out just how good she was at it.
She rises up quite early the morning from a fitful sleep which was full of rather disquieting dreams. She had woken up sweating from a rather colourful dream involving Arthur (she had taken to call him by his given name in her mind), wild flowers and soft blankets. Some of the dreams that she has been having lately would put a loose woman to shame. She wonders if she would ever be able to look at him without turning crimson. In some of dreams she had seen him in a rather ah-h unsettling state of undress. If he looked half as good without a shirt as he did in her dreams, let's just say for the sake of her coming nuptials it would be better if she were not ever see him without one. She recognised that her imagination was really working full time but reality was also fuelling the dreams. Maybe the best thing would be to try and avoid him, but that would be impossible seeing as she is a subject of his kingdom and she is living in his castle. If it had been anyone else she would have tried to ignore him if only for the fact that it would lessen the chances of her making a complete and utter monkey of herself all over again. The man posed danger to her sanity. She briefly wonders why he is still unattached. Rumour had it that girls fell like flies around him. She wondered what kind of woman would degrade herself that much. She would never allow herself to be like those girls whose sole mission was to bat their eye lashes at every eligible male in close proximity no matter how good looking. She would rather die first. Her interest in horses and archery had given her such purpose up to this point that she had not had time to be fantasizing about men like most girls of the ton. That she now is betrothed is not certainly from any effort on her part. Of course if any of the men she grew up with were like Arthur….
She would have liked to have gone riding, but she knows that it would be dangerous to go out on her own. She would not dream of dragging Relena out to do what she did not enjoy. It is times like these that she misses her home. The stable hands at her estate had developed a routine that included an early morning ride every day. Her father had cleared a space to train her horses which was near the stables. So she did not need an escort every time she went riding. Unfortunately, she could not go out and start her target practise until there was enough light. She decided to write a letter to her aunt updating her on the happenings at the castle. Her aunt would be worried about how she was faring as she knew very well that her niece found the majority of the nobles not to her liking. She was wise enough to make the letter as detailed as possible while leaving out some minutiae that she knew would cause her aunt to fret. She also wrote a shorter missive to her brother Elyan. She wonders sometimes what would have happened if Elyan had decided to follow in the footsteps of their father and become a knight instead of spending these past winters wondering around doing God knows what.
After their mother died, Elyan being the one closest to their mother, had not coped well. The first few years after her death, he began to show signs of restlessness. He had eventually gone away to 'seek his fortune' much to their father's despair, and had only returned when word had reached him of their father's illness. Her heart broke when she saw how their father's eyes lit up when he saw Elyan. They had both been there when their father expressed his wish for her to marry Ewan. He knew that she had had a soft spot for him when they were younger but as they grew up, those feelings did not grow as well. She had made her promise to her father. She could not have denied him his last wish. She liked Ewan enough and she knew she was fortunate that her father had allowed her freedom all these years. Besides, Ewan was young and not bad looking. He treated her well and with respect. She understood that her father's wish was stemming from his concern for her now that he knew that he was not going to be around to look after her. As far as he was concerned Elyan could not be trusted with that task. She was a little bit hurt when she found out that her father had already arranged this with his friend, Ewan's father, before talking to her. She and her father had been very close and her father had always confided in her about all sorts of things. Although she could understand why he did not consult her, she felt disappointed that her father had felt cornered into making a decision he knew she would not have agreed to. However, she could take comfort in the fact that her father seemed to find peace in the arrangement he had made for his daughter. Before now she really had not had much reason to bemoan her lack of free- will when it came to the choice of husband. She was glad though that Elyan had been there when their father drew his last breath.
So Gwen knows that despite her misgivings lately she has to keep her promise to her father. Her parents had taught her that a person was nothing without integrity. Her father in particular had emphasized the need for a person to be one with the words that pass out of their mouth. She had made that principle hers. She always prided in her veracity but over the few sunrises she has been in Camelot, she has begun to question a few things about herself and she knows the reason for that is a certain blue eyed blonde. The man has enough charisma to charm the birds out of their nest or a lion out of a carcass. Much as she has been trying, she is finding that her feelings are increasingly conflicted. She knows she can never go back on her promise but at the same time, her heart wants to know what it's like to be with someone that makes your heart pound whenever he is around; makes your mouth dry out and makes your skin tingle with anticipation of their fingers brushing against you. She sighs pensively. She will probably never get to experience that even though it seems the possibility is within her arms reach. There is a great gulf that is separating her from what she desires.
By the time Gwen finishes writing and sealing the correspondences, the sun's rays are stretching their tentacles through the drapes covering her chamber windows. Relena helps her to bathe and dress for practise. She wears a wide hood over her gown. She puts a leather strapping on the right shoulder to protect her from the effects of the bowstring when it is drawn. Another is strapped on the inside of the sleeve of her bow arm to protect it from being hit by the string. Another leather strap protects her chest. Leather gloves complete her attire. Relena pins her hair up into a chignon and holds it in a crepine as her hair often had a mind of its own and gets in the way. Clad in a pair of leather boots, Relena collects her equipment and they make their way to the training field. Gwen had asked Merlin to provide and set up a target for her every morning so that she could practise. After the way it had been noised abroad about her skills, she does not wish to perform below the expected standard.
She is glad to find the archery field is unoccupied because she is used to practising on her own. However, she can see that the knights are already practising as the fields are close to where she is. She just happens to notice that Arthur is amongst them seemingly going through drills with them. She knows that he likes to handle the training of his own men, something she greatly admires. In her opinion someone in authority should be willing to do what he or she asks their subordinates to do. Ewan had told her of how King Arthur was just as rigorous on himself in training as he was with his men. She knows he deserves to be famed as a great warrior and he probably owes that to his arduous training and unwavering dedication. Her heart flutters again as she thinks of the man who never seems to be too far from her mind. She is knows that the feelings that even the very thought of him elicit within her are not deemed proper for a lady of good breeding, let alone one that is promised to another man, but her body seems to have no desire to cooperate with what her head tells it. She finds herself thinking of him at very peculiar times, like when she is sleeping and the silk sheets touch her skin and she imagines his blue eyes scorching her skin before his beautiful fingers follow suit. She once read one of those books that her peers circulate amongst themselves; books that ladies of her station were not allowed to even set their eyes on. Those books contained stories of love and passion. They were frowned upon by society as a bad influence on properly brought up young ladies. However, the secret that was kept from many matrons, was that these books always found their way around the younger ladies of the ton. Gifted with a vivid imagination, the things she had read had made her blush crimson, feeling all flustered and warm everywhere. She had always wondered if in reality people ever experienced such intense feelings as were described in those books. She certainly had never felt anything like that when Ewan was close to her or touched her. Arthur does not have to touch her for her to feel hot all over. Just his eyes on her make her feel like her skin is on fire and as if her heart was trying to burst out. She is not sure whether it is a blessing or a curse. She shakes her head in an attempt to calm herself. Her chest is already heaving, something she finds disturbing and a little shameful. Surely ladies of noble birth are not supposed to think such thought or behave thus. Her aunt told her one day that only those of low birth allowed themselves such wanton thoughts. The nobility were too civilised to indulge in such unbecoming behaviour. She said that love was not as important as respect. In Gwen's opinion of the two sides, the lowly born seem to have much happier marriages as they were not forced to marry strangers who were deemed suitable because they had position and wealth. Very few nobles ever married for love. Most had their spouses chosen for them by parents or guardians. She had always hoped she would be one of the lucky few. But now…. Well no use crying over spilt milk. She uses sheer will power to turn her thoughts back to the reason she is outdoors.
She is happy that Merlin has already set up the target for her. The field is already marked. She knows that in these tourneys, she will have to shoot from three distances. So she starts with the one closest to the target. Relena stands at a safe distance having found out first hand when they were younger how a target can be easily missed and an arrow can end up too close for comfort. Back home, Gwen would have had another servant with her to hold her quiver for her while she practises but she does not have anyone to do so here. So she has her quiver strapped to her back. Gwen readies her bow and loads her arrow, nocks it, holding the bowstring with her fingers and raises the bow and turn toward the target. She draws; her string hand drawn towards her face on her chin as she points towards the target. When she feels that the string is fully drawn and taut she releases the arrow by relaxing the fingers of her drawing hand. Her first few shots are good but not as accurate as she would like them to be. She shoots several arrows that land slightly outside of the bull's eye. She can tell from the recoil of her body that her form is not quite right. She keeps shooting slightly changing her stance and she is getting a bit frustrated when she realises that her accuracy is not improving.
She keeps at her practise until it is mid- morning. She is loading another arrow when she feels a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. She immediately knows that someone is watching her and she turns to see Arthur and Merlin standing at a distance with their attention on her. Her eyes move unconsciously to Arthur. God help me, but this man is gorgeous! Every day she saw him, he looks even better. She feels suddenly like her legs have turned into jelly. And he is watching me! She finds it nonplussing. Suddenly, the thoughts of her dreams assault her and she feels colour creeping to her face. Merlin enthusiastically lifts up his hand in greeting and Gwen smiles at him in return and she supposes they take that as encouragement and start walking towards her. Gwen is suddenly so nervous she prays she will not unleash an arrow on herself. Now that would really be embarrassing. She cusses her misbehaving nerves.
"Lady Guinevere," the king says in greeting. Darn it but no man has the right to be so good looking. Her insides twist into tight knots. Can he stop smiling at me before I break into puddles of liquid flesh?
"My lord," Gwen returns nattily and curtseys slightly, then turns towards Merlin, her smile widening. "Merlin I'm grateful to you for setting this up for me."
"No need to mention it. It was no problem at all. Anytime you need help please let me know". Merlin allows her the full impact of his goofy smile. His statement causes Arthur's jaw to drop and he scowls at him flabbergasted. Merlin hardly ever does anything for him willingly. Over the years, he has had to threaten him, blackmail or trick him into doing what he is supposed to do. Now here he is busy flushing Gwen his most charming smile and insinuating that he finds Gwen's requests a joy to accomplish. Ha-a! When he glances at Merlin he realises the servant is prodding him as usual. Well he won't have the pleasure of my reaction.
Gwen notices that a couple of the court ladies are walking towards the training field when they notice Arthur. They begin to giggle as they point 'discretely' towards him. Gwen frowns in displeasure. Both Merlin and Arthur turn towards the direction Gwen has been glaring. Merlin smirks and Arthur turns slightly red.
"Looks like your cheering squad has arrived sire. I wonder what held them up today?" Merlin says, knowing very well how much it would annoy Arthur whom he knows is using all his charm on Gwen. "Shall I direct them towards you?"
If looks could kill, Merlin would have been left all bone and no flesh. Merlin decides he likes living too much and opts to stop goading the king.
Arthur turns back to Gwen. "Do not let us disturb you my lady."
Gwen wonders if she will be able to hold it together with him watching. She wishes she was not so attuned to his presence. Oh bother!
She turns back and is about resume with her practise when something catches her eye and she turns back to see Sir Leon hurrying towards them, cape flying behind him. Both Arthur and Merlin turn when they see that her attention is reverted again to something behind them."Sir Leon?" Arthur says sounding disturbed at the urgency he senses in the normally calm knight.
"Sire, a messenger this minute arrives with news of an attack on one of the villages on the border with Essetir." Gwen gasps heart in her throat. All eyes draw towards her. She had heard rumours of attacks on villages across the border but that has not happened on their side in a very long time. Arthur turns to Gwen, concern written on his face. Then he turns back to Sir Leon.
"Announce a council meeting as soon as possible. I will be along in a moment." Arthur instructs Leon, urgency in his voice.
"Of course, Sire."
"Merlin, tell Sir Gwaine to let the knights- of- the- round- table know about the council meeting. We will have a meeting with the rest of the knights after the council meeting."
"Yes, Sire".
After both Merlin and Leon have left, Arthur turns to Gwen.
"Lady Guinevere, I know that your estate is on the border with Essetir and you must be worried about how your people are faring. I promise you I will do all I can to protect your estate and the people that you are responsible for."
"Thank you, sire. My aunt and my brother …."
"I promise to send word as soon as I know something."
"I wish I could go with you…" Gwen realises she probably sounds like a clingy wife but she is too worried to care. She needs to know whether her estate and its people are safe.
"I don't think that would be a good idea since we do not know the situation on the ground. It would be of great comfort to me to know you were safe here."
Gwen wonders briefly what the last statement meant but supposes that it is the responsibility of any king to ensure the safety of his subject which is what Arthur probably meant. She signals Relena to come and collect her weaponry.
"Can I kindly ask that you grant me a favour Sire?"
"Of course, you need only ask Lady Guinevere."
"Thank you, sire. May you please send word as soon as you find out what is going on?"
"I promise. I will send a messenger as soon as we assess the situation. I will pass through to check on your estate as well. And since we will be going there if you would like me to deliver a missive to your relations, I will gladly do so."
To say Gwen is shocked would be to put it mildly. Good breeding stopped her from gaping like a fish. Whoever heard of a king offering to be used as a messenger? She hesitates, not too sure she should take the king at his word. Arthur notices her hesitation and seeks to reassure her. He moves forward intending to squeeze her shoulder but lets his hand drop back to his side when he realises how inappropriate that would seem. Darn society delicacies!
"Lady Guinevere it will be no bother at all. Just give them to Merlin before our departure tomorrow. We will probably leave at dawn. I will have more solid details after the council meeting."
"Thank you once again my lord, for everything." Gwen feels better and she gives the king her brightest smile. Arthur's eyes almost pop out of their sockets at the beauty of the smile and subconsciously drop to her lips, knots forming in his belly when she bites her bottom lip slightly, a move he finds too erotic for words. He swallows, hard. He knows he should be going to attend to council matters but somehow he is finding it difficult to move away.
She gives him a deep curtsy and Arthur feels like he has been dismissed, something he finds rather annoying. He wishes she would not bow to him. When she does it feels like a thick wall has been built between them and he does not like it. He thinks that the way he is feeling, a more veritable valediction would be if he were to just grab her and kiss the living daylights out of her. It is at moments like these, moments where he cannot just throw caution to the wind and do what he desires the most that he feels the weight of his station and crown weighing down heavily on him.