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A/N : Thank you for the support. You rock!

As per some requests I have tried to update earlier than last time. Hope you enjoy this. Let me know

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It had been two days since the knights had left. Ewan had come to her chambers to say his goodbyes as he was one of the knights going with the king to investigate the attacks on the villages. He told her that the king had given him permission to stay behind since Gwen was at court because of him. Ethan had insisted on going since he knew the people better than any of the knights and would take the time to see if his estates were faring well. Funny enough, she found she rather missed him. She and Ewan had always found it easy to converse. Maybe it was the fact that they knew each other far too long for them to be awkward around each other. He had suggested that when he comes back from the mission they should start preparing for their hand-fasting ceremony. Gwen had been saved from answering by Merlin who had come to collect the letters to her relations. If Ethan was surprised that she had asked Merlin and not him to deliver them, he did not show it. The subject of the nuptials had not been revisited but it left Gwen uneasy as she realised that there is no way she is going to avoid the issue forever. She could not expect Ewan to patiently wait forever either.

It is a good thing that Lady Morgana was nice to her otherwise she would have found her stay after the knights had left intolerable. It made her realise that most people that she had made the effort to befriend over the past weeks were gone. She and Morgana had had dinner together for the two nights past and she had intended to teach her archery. She found Morgana a lot of fun to be around even though a tad unconventional. Oh, who was she fooling, Morgana was worse than her and it was nice not to be the only toad in a pond full of fish. They were kindred spirits.

Due to the absence of the king and other knights, the tournament had been postponed. A part of her is glad for the reprieve but she also knows that it is only temporary. She is glad for the chance to practise for longer but even that is proving to be difficult. Unfortunately, it seems like the weather is mourning the absence of the knights, since the skies had decided to turn a dull grey and it had started drizzling that morning. It looks like there would be no end to the bad weather. That makes it impossible for her to practise so she finds herself rather at a loose end. She decides to paint, something that she does occasionally when she is bored. She prefers painting outdoors, but since it has been raining without ceasing, there was no way she could go outside. Most of her paintings were of scenery. Given that she is in a castle, the closest she can see of the surrounding mountains is through her window. Ah well, beggars could not be choosers. She misses Merlin at this point because she has found that one of his many talents is his knowledge of the best places around the castle. She knows that if Merlin had been around he would have found something or some interesting place to relieve her boredom.

There is a rather urgent sounding knock on her door. Relena goes to answer and a messenger is by the door.

"Pardon me Miss, but I have been asked to deliver these letters to Lady Guinevere by His Royal Highness King Arthur."

Relena gets permission from her mistress and lets the boy who could not have been more than ten and five to come into her chambers.

He bows before addressing Gwen.

"My lady, His Highness the king has sent these letters to you. He has asked that I should wait for your responses, if you so wish to respond."

"That is so kind of him. Thank you…?"

"Thomas, at your service, my Lady."

"Thomas, you have my father's name. That is wonderful. Thomas, would you give me a moment to read and respond to these correspondences?"

"The king instructed me to do as you command, my lady."

Gwen is so shocked her mouth is agape for a brief moment. "That is very kind of the king. I will certainly write him a note to express my gratitude. If you could come back later before sunset to pick up my letters I would very grateful Thomas."

"I certainly will my Lady." He bows and turns to leave.

"Ah Thomas, how was everyone when you left?"

"Sir Ewan is doing very well, my Lady," he says a knowing expression on his face, assuming that Gwen was asking about her affianced.

It occurs to Gwen in that moment that although she had been pleased to hear about Ewan, she had been hoping that Thomas would let slip news of the rest of the patrol party as well. Now how does she ask without rousing any suspicion?

"I am ever so pleased to hear that. And how is Merlin faring?"

"Merlin is really well, my Lady. I suspect that he misses home though. He does not seem to enjoy the rough life."

"Well I know very few people that would enjoy that kind of life and being away from home. I know I would rather be in familiar surroundings. I certainly miss my home very much." Gwen feels melancholic. She notices that she is making Thomas uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Thomas. You can come for the letters before sunset," Gwen says dismissing Thomas.

Thomas bows and leaves.

Gwen goes and sits down and examines the four letters she has received. Two of them bear her family seal so she knows that they are from her aunt and brother. She opens the one from aunt first which she knows from experience will be short and to the point, her aunt never having been one to waste words. She talks about the estate and how Elyan has been working so hard to keep things running. She vaguely mentions about the attacks in the villages and the number of people that had been affected. She briefly mentions how flattered she was that the king himself had seen it fit to come and personally inspect the damage to the villagers' homes due the attacks and how he had promised that he would ensure the safety of the estate. Gwen immediately writes back thanking her for keeping her abreast with the undertakings around the estate. The next letter she reads is Elyan's. She is surprised that all he talks about is the king's visit and the way the knights have been meticulously scouring the countryside looking for the attackers. From the letter, it sounds as if he actually envies them, which comes as a surprise to her as he never seemed interested in becoming a knight before. There was more gushing about the king and how kind and noble he is and very little else. Apparently the king had even commented on his skills with the sword and Gwen does not want to imagine under what circumstances the king had found about Elyan's skills.

She opens Ewan's letter next. He states that although two villages had been attacked, only one life had been lost. A man called Ambrose had been killed trying to defend his family. Gwen knew the man as he had been the artillator in that particular village. He had made Gwen's first bow and arrows for her. Gwen was sad for him and the family he had left behind and made a note to visit the family when she got back. Apparently the bandits burned the villagers' food supply and their crops. The king had assured the villagers that he would do all that he could to make sure that food provisions were acquired for them and to make their villages more secure. He also reiterated how much he would like for them to start planning their nuptials as soon as he comes back. He had requested that he stay on for a few more days when the knights were coming back. He was going to visit with his family and to discuss with his parents so that they could start planning as well.

Gwen receives that particular piece of news with mixed feelings. Part of her knows that this day was going to come anyway and she should have expected it; but what is unexpected is the feeling of dread. She is wondering how she would be able to promise a lifetime with Ewan when she feels so strongly for Arthur. She knows in her heart if she does marry Ewan she would always wonder about what she could have had with Arthur. However, she knows that much as she would like to there is no way she can cry off. Ewan had done nothing deserving of such treatment and such behaviour would bring shame upon her family. She is glad to have a few days to think on it while he is away. She wishes she had someone to talk it over with. Unfortunately, because of the people involved she has to be careful whom she confides in. She puts Ewan's letter away with a sigh, finding no incentive or appropriate words to reply. How would she be able to express an enthusiasm that she was far from feeling? She had never been eager for or good at deception. Her father had always caught her out whenever she was lying. How was she going to pull this one off?

Finding no answer for her troubles, she breaks the seal on the letter from Arthur and starts reading:

My Lady Guinevere

I sincerely hope that this letter finds you in the best of health and spirit. As promised I have written to give you news on the state of affairs as we found them. I am sure you are anxious to know what has become of your estate and the people that we are both responsible for. Two villages were attacked by what we thought were bandits but our investigations have since unveiled that the attacks were not random at all. The way of bandits is usually the same. They are more concerned with plundering whatever they can find of value. However, the attacks in question looked well planned and they took nothing away with them. Instead, they destroyed grain and crops. No people were taken captive. This has indeed left us quite puzzled and we have decided to investigate further. We suspect that a renegade group led by a warlord named Helios could be the malefactor. I will know in a few days whether my suspicions are correct or not.

As you have probably received letters from your relations, you must, by now know that your family estates are still intact. The attacks have only affected the surrounding villages. We are anxious to rectify this so that our people may live peacefully without fear.

I have had the privilege of meeting your brother. I find him an impressive young man who is quite skilled with the sword. I wonder why he never came to train as a knight. The kingdom needs men like him. I hope by the end of this mission he would have realised how much of a contribution he can make to the kingdom as a knight.

My lady, it is my hope that you are finding your stay at court enjoyable. It is a shame that we had to leave as I, for one, was looking forward to the tourney having heard so much of your skills. I truthfully hope that we will be back soon. Much as I have been away on such missions many, many times before, I am finding that I miss being there much more this time than I normally do. I wonder why?

I know you are probably missing your home as well. I hope my sister is making herself useful by keeping you company. I know she, like many others at court, has taken a liking to you. Please be free to ask anything of her if you find yourself in need.

I also remember how much you like talking to horses. Be free to talk to mine in the royal stable anytime you so wish. As long as you do not say anything bad about their master, they will take to you well. They are very loyal that way. Please feel free to ride any of the horses.

Merlin sends his greetings and wishes me to tell you that he misses you. I will write again if you so wish as soon as I have more news. Till then please take care. You are greatly missed.

I remain yours

Arthur

Gwen reads the letter twice before putting it down, a small smile on her lips. There is nothing in the words of the letter that should have caused such a reaction but to Gwen there is something about the tone of the letter that makes her feel…..cherished. She likes that feeling. It is a wonder that she recognises that feeling as she has never felt it before. She had noticed men looking at her with all sorts of expressions but never before had words conveyed such feelings of esteem and affection without really saying it openly. Never has she dreamed that words could provoke such warm feelings, they make her wish that she could have been present when they were written so that she could see the expression in his eyes as he put his thoughts on the parchment . She looks wistfully at the final words of the letter and half- heartedly wishes that Arthur is really hers. Half- heartedly because as much as she now knows that she is developing feelings beyond friendship for Arthur, she is always conscious that she should not be because she is not free to do so. The problem is, she is at a loss on how she can resolve the conflict or stop herself from falling.

There is another knock on the door and it takes her out of the reverie. Relena who has been watching her unsuspecting mistress and has noted all the emotions that are clearly running across her sweet face, crosses the suite to open the door. She finds the Lady Morgana looking all regal and beautifully clad in a green sequined gown standing outside.

"My Lady," Relena acknowledges the noblewoman with a curtsy.

"Relena, is it? Is your mistress in?"

Relena looks back to her mistress who nods her consent and steps aside to let the noblewoman into her mistress's chambers.

Gwen gets up and curtsies to her superior.

"Come on Gwen, we will have none of that between us. We are friends are we not?" She continues without waiting for a reply, an impish glint in her eyes. "Besides we both know how all this formality bores us to death."

Gwen laughs, "Indeed. I have to be careful you see. My aunt is always warning me that my disregard for propriety will get me in trouble one day."

"Well, in that case, let's get into trouble together then. It's been far too long since the other noblewomen have given me their disapproving frowns."

"Morgana, it has not been a week since you made fun of Lady Sibil's new hair-do."

"You see! Like I said, it's been far too long." They both dissolve into fits of giggles. Relena smiles at them like an indulgent mother. She is glad that her mistress seems to be getting on well with Lady Morgana. She had never told her but there were times when she had wished her mistress was more like the other noblewomen because she would have had more friends in her own class. However, she knows that she could not have wished for a better mistress. Gwen is kind and considerate unlike some ladies that her friends serve. Seeing her now bond with this lady, who is a peer gladdens her heart to no end. She hopes Gwen will be able to confide in Morgana what has been troubling her. She has an inkling what it is, but she knows Gwen would not even think of discussing it with her especially since it involves someone who is to be her husband. She decides to give them space.

"My lady, I am just taking these garments to the laundry."

"Very well Relena. You can take a few moments to rest afterwards. You can come later to help me prepare for dinner."

"Thank you, my lady" She curtsies and leaves.

"So what were you doing before I got here." Mogana enquires, looking around the chambers.

Gwen blushes a little remembering exactly what she had been doing and who she had been fantasising about.

"Ah, I see that there is need for us to sit and talk about whatever is making you blush like a school girl."

"It's nothing, honestly. I was just replying some letters that came today…"

"Oh so received letters too? Let me see, so which one makes you blush so prettily; the one from Ewan?" She looks at Gwen closely. "I guess not. So it can only be the one from Arthur."

Gwen hates herself for being so transparent but other than draining blood out of her cheeks, she realises there is no way she could have disguised her reaction. She is clearly out of control. She wonders briefly if she should even be having this conversation with the sister of the man she is lusting after. Morgana is looking at her like she is a creature from another world noting every emotion that crosses her face. Gwen feels like she is under a magnifying glass.

"Morgana…"

"Oh don't worry. I know how you two feel about each other. Anyone who spends a few moments with you can tell."

Colour drains from Gwen's face. Oh no! She has turned into an immoral woman!

"I won't tell, I promise, although I think you two need to learn to be a bit more discreet. All that eyeing each other will get you noticed. Which makes me wonder whether your betrothed is blind or in denial. But anyway….Mind you, I don't mind a bit of a scandal myself. But in this case, I really care about you both. I know I have not known you for long but I think you and I have a connection. I should know because I have not connected with anyone in a long time. The point is, I really don't want you embroiled in a scandal. This monarch has had enough of those."

Gwen knows she is referring to her parents. She is glad that she has found someone to talk to, no matter how inappropriate it would seem to other people. She needs advice because she has gone over her dilemma so many times and keeps on coming back to the same place she started from, no resolve in sight. Maybe another's objective mind could help sort out her jumbled up feelings.

"I like Ewan, Morgana. I have known him most of my life and he is a good person."

"Gwen, if you don't mind my asking; why did you get betrothed to him in the first place? It sound s to me like you treat him more like a brother than a lover." Morgana had been afraid just for a moment that Gwen might be toying with her brother's feelings but looking at her now, she can tell that her friend is genuinely troubled.

Gwen sighs and invites her friend to sit down. She relates the story of her betrothal. When she finishes, Morgana feels for her new friend. She can see why Gwen is so conflicted. Ewan is a valued friend, and Arthur is fast becoming the object of her affection. Morgana can tell, whether she admits or not, that Gwen is falling in love with Arthur. Morgana is older and more experienced so she knows a bit more about matters of the heart than Gwen. They have led equally sheltered lives but, since her father died, she has had more freedom than most. Gwen has that dreamy look in her eyes whenever she talks about Arthur that girls always get when they are falling in love. She does not envy her predicament. She would be one to say society be damned but she knows that people would forgive her much easier than they would someone Like Gwen because of their positions. Nobles were always at pains to get the king's favour even if it meant accepting a wayward sister. Gwen on the other hand was not that powerful. The fact that her object of desire was the king would make things even worse. The queen was expected to be above reproach. Begging off her betrothal to Ewan for the sake of the king would entangle them in a scandal that would endanger the stability of the monarch.

"Gwen, you know that I would be the first person to tell you not to worry about what people think. But if you and Arthur were to get together you would be queen. A queen needs to be respected and trusted. A scandal is not the best way to ascend to the throne. Of course later on people might see the real you. That you are lovely, kind and one of the genuinely good people that I have met in a while. Would you be willing to go through all that? At the same time, I believe in love. And I know true love is hard to come by. If you marry Ewan you could be giving up the love of your life. Are you willing to sacrifice it for a lifetime of waking up with someone who is like a brother? Do you think you will be happy knowing you could have had love but you had settled for far less? And Ewan? Do you think he will be happy knowing that every time you look at him you are wishing he was someone else. That is the worse punishment you can ever inflict on a person. To make them feel that they are never enough whatever they do. Since you genuinely care for Ewan, please consider that."

Gwen is crying by the time Morgana finishes talking.

"Morgana, I am a horrible person. How could I do this to two people that I care about? You don't know how many times I tell myself to stop thinking about Arthur; to let him go and stop dreaming about him. I have failed. I am not strong enough. And I'm not as selfless as you think. Sometimes I think I have succeeded and then I see him and my heart leaps. He makes me weak at the knees. I end up back where I would have started from. I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."

"My sweet, I cannot tell you what to do. I can only advise you. You have to make the decision."

"But whatever I choose, someone I care about is going to get hurt. How do I choose who gets hurt? Why do I have to choose? How did I get ensnared in this?"

"Gwen, listen. Not all is lost. I know my brother cares a lot for you. He would kill me if he found out I had told you by the way. Examine your feelings for him and if you care the same way about him, I suggest you have a talk with Ewan. He is not a cruel person from what I have seen. He looks like he cares for you. I'm sure he wants the best for you. You can find a way to resolve this matter I'm sure."

Gwen hangs on to these words of hope like a life line.

"You think so Morgana?"

"I know you will Gwen. You deserve happiness. But whatever you do don't feel like you have to sacrifice yourself. Self -inflicted martyrdom sometimes does not have the desired effect. When you make the final decision promise me you will consider one other person besides Arthur and Ewan?"

"Who is that?"

"You. Remember that you are a good person and you have to be happy with your decision. Don't let anyone push you into anything you don't want. You will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life. What do you want the rest of your life to be like? One that is deliriously happy or one full of regrets?"

Gwen looks thoughtful for a moment. Then suddenly Morgana jumps off into another direction.

"Alright enough of this angst stuff. What say you to dinner in my chambers tonight? We can take a walk in the gardens afterwards. I know you like wild flowers but the royal gardens might just change your mind."

Gwen smiles shyly and nods at her friend. She cannot believe she has just had that conversation with her.

"And tomorrow if the weather is good, you can show off to me why people rave about your skills in archery. We can even go riding later in the day if you are up for it."

"So you think keeping me busy is the best answer to my problems I see."

"Well it has never failed to work with my brother. "

They smile affectionately at each other and Morgana curtsies deeply and smiles mockingly at Gwen.

"Your Majesty," she says before departing quickly leaving Gwen glued to the floor in shock.

After a moment she sits down again to write her replies her mind feeling a bit clearer.