Did I make you nervous? Good! Hang on for this very timey whimey chapter that is so long that I've split it in two! I hope you can keep up! :) Part of my inspiration for this madness involves a comment from Russell T. Davies himself. In the accompanying Doctor Who Confidential for Journeys End, Davies explains, "This is so busy and so mental and so epic and universal in scale that of course you need two Doctors to solve it." Same can be said about The Big Bang, IMO. Not to mention that this also gives an excuse to throw in gags from the 50th!

I'm thinking that as complicated as this chapter has the potential to be, it's probably a good thing that I don't own Doctor Who!

BOOK I: Fixing the Doctor's Mistake

CHAPTER 17: Timey Whimey Finales pt 1

"EXTERMINATE!" Rose was too late. The Doctor was hit! Jack appeared out of no where and shot the bloody Dalek, but it didn't matter. She was going to lose her Doctor!

Correct that. She'd already lost him. He was gone! He had disintegrated into a pile of dust! Jack ran over to investigate. "Transporter beam. He's still alive! But where is he? Not a good time to be pulling a disappearing act, Doc!"

He woke up in a strange cave next to a large black box, guarded by a centurion of all things. The Roman was holding a lifeless ginger girl in his arms and crying.

"You! I know you!" Said the centurion, hope filling his face and voice. "You're the Doctor!"

"Um... Yes?" He said, unsure of when out where he was and if this Roman was a friend or foe.

"I knew it! Rose showed us pictures!" At the name of Rose, the Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. He was with a friend.

"And you are?"

"A future companion! Time lines being what they are, I can't say much, but boy am I glad to see you!"

"Trouble?" The Doctor asked.

"You could say that. Don't ask how, but I'm plastic right now when I'm supposed to be human, my fiancee here is dead, you and Captain Jack Harkness are trapped inside this box, and River is trapped on the TARDIS that is about to explode."

"Wow! And I thought I had problems!" The Doctor exclaimed. "I only lost the planet Earth."

"You lost the entire planet?! You never do anything halfway, do you?" the Roman accused.

"Guess not. So, I get to be trapped in a box with Jack in the future? Lovely," the Doctor said with an eye roll. "I'm sure that I'll come up with a brilliant escape plan because I'm, well, brilliant, but I think it's time to end my torture. Don't you think so?"

With that, he used his sonic to let Jack and his bow tie self out of his Pandorica.

"Two Docs!" Jack sang out when he emerged. "I don't even want to tell you what I'm thinking now!"

"Oh shut up! Don't you ever stop?!" Both Doctors yelled at him with the same tone and inflection. Rory snickered. They were definitely the same man, despite how different they looked.

The two Doctors sized each other up.

"Oh, it's you again, is it?! Now that's what I call proper skinny!" Eleven said. "Funny seeing that mug from the outside, though."

"Great," Ten said. "I turn into a child! In grandpa's clothes!"

"Oi! What's wrong with the way I dress? Bow ties are cool! Certainly better than stripes. Eesh!"

"Well, Rose happens to like this look, thank you very much!" Ten knew where to hit where it'd hurt. It was himself he was arguing with, after all.

But Eleven gave as good as he got. "Well, she didn't exactly dislike my look, if ya know what I mean!"

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be then, eh?" Ten taunted, pulling out his sonic.

Eleven also pulled his out with a relish: it was much bigger and better.

"Over compensating for something?" Ten taunted.

"What?"

"Regeneration. It's a lottery!"

"Ok ladies!" Jack yelled as Rory snickered. "Sorry to interrupt this 'measuring' contest, but the world is kind of coming to an end as per usual, and one of you, though I am grateful for your assist, kind of shouldn't be here!"

"Right," Ten exhaled.

"How did you get here?" Eleven asked. "I don't remember this!"

"I really don't know. I'd lost Earth with Rose on it, found it again, was running towards Jenny when a Dalek came out from no where and... I woke up next to Julius Caesar here," Ten said, indicating Rory.

"So this is where you'd disappeared to when you were shot!" Jack exclaimed. "You'd better get back. Rose and Jenny were pretty upset." Then he thought of a brilliant way to get both Doctors agitated. "I, uh, had to comfort them..."

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ROSE AND MY DAUGHTER!" Jack's plan to agitate them both worked really well.

But they knew that they'd been had. "Right," Ten said to his future self. "You've got your own mess here to clean up. And I've got to get back to my own mess. How do I do that?"

"Here Doc!" Jack said, tossing his vortex manipulator to him.

"Hang on!" Eleven said. "There's something we need to do first!"

The Doctors, Jack, and Rory had gently placed Amy's body inside the Pandorica where she would be safe. It was a prison so great that no one could escape from it, not even by death, Eleven had said. Amy would be restored to life when the box registered her DNA. The men needed to travel 2000 years into the future to release her.

"So she's just going to remain in there alone, for 2000 years!" Rory stated.

"Yes," Eleven replied. "Now come along!"

"I'm staying with her! I'm plastic, so I won't die, right?"

The Doctors looked at each other in full understanding. If that was Rose in there, they'd stay with her as well.

"Be careful," Eleven said. "See you in a couple of millennia." Jack and the two Doctors vanished.

They materialized in a museum 2000 years later. "Ok, now that you are where you need to be, can I go to where I need to be, please?" Ten asked.

Eleven nodded. Ten vanished.

He reappeared inside his own TARDIS, apparently only seconds after getting hit by the Dalek. Donna gasped beside him, wondering how he'd gotten there. Rose and Jenny were sobbing over a pile of dust where he had just been what was for them, seconds earlier. And beside them both was... Jack. And he was, indeed, comforting them. He groaned. Past, present, future. The immortal man was quickly becoming the bane of his existence.

"I'm over here!" He called out, cheerfully.

The trio quickly boarded the TARDIS. Rose slapped him for scaring her senseless and then pulled him in for a snog.

"What happened, Dad?" Jenny asked.

"I time traveled into my own future somehow," the Doctor said. He turned to Rose. "So, I understand you like bow ties?"

Rose grinned. "I also like pinstripes," she said before kissing him again. "And leather!"

Jenny and the Doctor finally embraced at that point, but before anything else could be said, the TARDIS started to move.

"There's a Dalek ship at the center of the planets called the Crucible," Jack informed them all. "Guess that's where we're going."

The movement shuddered to a stop. "The Dalek Crucible," the Doctor sighed. "All aboard!"

Meanwhile, across time and space, a young Amelia Pond had opened the Pandorica when she touched it, and the box opened, revealing Amy, who was waking up, and very much alive! Unfortunately, the light of the Pandorica also fell upon a stone Dalek that was also restored to life. "EXTERMINATE!" It yelled.

It shot Jack, who was honestly more than happy to distract the creature while the Doctor, Amy, and the still plastic security guard Rory made a clean get away. They went to the roof of the museum where they discovered that what they had thought was the sun was actually the exploding TARDIS. And there was a sound coming from it. The Doctor used his sonic to amplify the sound. It was River, stuck in a time loop, as the exploding TARDIS desperately tried to keep her passenger alive.

He aimed his sonic at the explosion, activated her vortex manipulator, and brought her safely next to them. River thanked him.

"Now we can get onto more important matters," she said, turning to the Doctor. "What, in the name of everything good, do you have on your head?"

"It's a fez! I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool!"

Well, the women weren't going for that. Amy yanked the offending item off his head, threw it off the building, and River shot it.

The Doctor looked like they had just taken away his puppy.

Together, the quartet ran back into the museum and came face to face with the Dalek. The Doctor was shot, and vanished.

He appeared on the floor of his old TARDIS, which was empty of everyone, except Donna. They were falling. Suddenly, he knew what was happening. They were in the heart of the Crucible! So that was how it was going to be?! No double, so guess who had to fill that role! Quickly, he climbed off the floor and sent them safely into the time vortex.

"Who are you?!" Donna interrogated him.

He sighed. Here we go. "I'm the Doctor."

"Get out! No you're not!"

"Yeah, actually I am. A future version of the me you know. It's been a very long time, Donna Noble."

"How do you know my name?!"

"I told you, I'm the Doctor!"

"Right, and I'm the most important woman in the universe!"

"You are, actually. Or at least you were in the original time line before Rose ended up with the time beetle instead of you."

"Oh my gosh, it really is you!" Donna cried, embracing him and feeling his double heartbeat under his tweed jacket. "What happened to you?"

"Time Lords. Instead of dying, we get a whole new body, personality, everything. Become a completely different person. Everything but the memories change. It's called regeneration."

"Okay... what are you doing here?"

"Not real sure how, but I've a pretty good idea as to why."