What is the best way for me, as a student, to deal with teachers that can't teach? One of my teachers stuffs her beliefs down our throats while another gives us loads of homework with no explanations as to how to do it. Advice is needed...please? This is a question for all of you, and I will send Mr. Mammon his pay through express mail.
-Bloody Illusion
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Entry No. 7
Date: 01/10/12
3:00 PM
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Ushishishi, your pen name is 'Bloody Illusion'?
Tell me peasant, do you really actually enjoy seeing blood? Or do you just have it there because you're apart of those fanatics who like the word blood? Do you enjoy seeing lots of it gushing and gushing out from the human body from various cuts and wounds? Or do you squirm and scream when you see such a sight? Can you handle seeing your own blood pooling around you, I wonder? Perhaps the Prince should pay you a visit to find out the answer~! Ushishishi~!
Oh, but I really, really, really don't like the Illusion part of your pen name. It reminds me of that stupid frog and his pineapple haired master. They're both fucking peasants. They tick me off. I want to stab them. But Mammon's a different story. He's got puffy cheeks.
And as for your question, we really don't care for education but if the student peasant really does want 'advice' on how to deal with the peasant teachers at your school and actually learn something during your lessons, then I guess the Prince can tell you some ways to deal with them.
First, stabbing would solve your problems just fine~! And you'll get to see lots of blood. You like blood, don't you, little Miss Bloody Illusion? I'm sure you do or else your pen name wouldn't be that.
But, if you're more of a good little student who likes doing good deeds instead of breaking the law, you go to the second option; you scare them. Smile real big and flash some nice, shiny, pointy knives in front of their faces or close to their necks. Some threatening would make it even better.
There you go, peasant. The great Prince just gave you two options. Pick one and then send me a photo if you chose the first one. Ushishishi.
-The Prince
P.S: Hm, I feel like seeing blood now~! Where did I put my clean knives?
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Entry No. 8
Date: 01/10/12
3:05 PM
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Just a little note, your pen name got Bel hyped up on blood. Huh. I should probably go and try to stop him from torturing the innocent workers here.
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Meh, Squalo can deal with him.
Anyway, I've never really listened to the teachers I've had since they were boring as all hell so I don't think I can really give any advice on this. But, I guess you can drop some buckets of water or other 'unidentified' substances over their heads and create some havoc in your class. Spray paint the walls, break some windows with a baseball bat, punch that one person you hate in the face, throw your books and papers up in the air, and just go absolutely bloody crazy.
Your teacher will get fed up and quit eventually. That's what happened to the previous 7 teachers I've had. Teacher number 4 ran out of the classroom crying and screaming about how I was the most psychologically problematic student she's ever had in her 30 years of teaching. Of course, I took great offence and rigged her doorbell to keep going off every minute of every day. She can't disable it no matter what, even if she ripped it out of her house's circuits, so the doorbell kept going off for the next month or so.
She ended up moving countries. And I unrigged the doorbell after she left.
HA. That'll teach her for calling me a psychologically problematic student.
Oh, also, a little note, make sure you pin the blame on someone else. Getting caught is never any fun. Especially if Hibari is the one hunting you down. If he is, dude, you're screwed.
-Umi
P.S: And if you completely, epically, fail at getting rid of your teachers, well, you're an amateur at havoc making and I'm insulted as a prankster that you can't do simple troublemaking, hilarious schemes.
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Entry No. 9
Date: 01/10/12
3:10 PM
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VOI.
I'm going to fucking kill that peacock bastard for making me do this shit.
Brat, if you want to learn something, teach yourself. Don't trust some fucking trash to teach you what it is you need to learn. Fuck, only learn the shit you need to know, you got it? What's the fucking point in learning something that won't be useful to you? And if you can't even fucking do that because you're an idiot, than you scream at the teacher for being a piece of useless shit.
And If I find out you haven't done anything after having received these fucking so-called advices of ours, I'll hunt you down and cut you in half! YOU GOT IT, BRAT?
Don't waste our fucking time unless you're actually going to take our advice.
Tch, shitty brats these days, they're all absolutely fucking annoying.
-Squalo
Edit
3:17 PM
VOI! FUCK IT ALL. THAT SHITTY PRINCE IS RUNNING AROUND THROWING HIS FUCKING KNIVES EVERYWHERE.
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Entry No. 10
Date: 01/10/12
3:30 PM
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Ma, it seems like everyone isn't giving proper advice to you, but I guess that's just how they are. Anyway, if you want your teacher to actually teach you instead of stuffing their beliefs down your throat and handing homework without proper explanations as to how to do them, I say you should talk it out with them.
And if that doesn't work, you can either ignore them completely until they actually teach you properly, or bring it up to your principal.
Hm, hm, I hope that helps, darling~!
-Lussuria
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Entry No.11
Date: 01/10/12
3:37 PM
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Ah, a fan of illusions? Best if I don't tell Master about you or else he'll pay you a visit, and that won't end very well for your mind. Besides, it'll inflate his pineapple ego, and no one wants that. But I'm an illusionist too, and I'll gladly take all the ego inflation given from your pen name. I'm sure Master wouldn't mind. He probably wouldn't even notice.
After all, he's too busy being a perverted pineapple.
I suggest you sleep with wide eyes tonight, Bloody Illusion. Never know when Master will drop by and stare at you outside your bedroom window like a stalker.
Anyway, about your teacher problem, it's very, very simple. Just disrupt the class. If they don't do their job properly, you interrupt their lessons. Make sarcastic comments and just repeatedly question them on their almost-nonexistent life as a failure of a teacher. Make sure they cry. Record it too and send it in. Oh, you'll end up getting into a lot of trouble by the way, but that's not my problem so I don't care.
Ah, Bel sempai just came into my room with the longhaired commander. I should go now.
-Fran
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Entry No. 12
Date: 01/10/12
4:00 PM
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Tch, a job where you have to teach snot-nosed teenagers isn't worth the pay. And this column is a complete waste of time and money and I don't feel like giving you any advice, but since your money came through and Lussuria won't shut up if I quit, I'll give you only one suffice option at dealing with the incompetent morons you call teachers at your school.
Blackmail them.
Stalk them, drug them, I honestly don't care what you do. So long as you get some embarrassing and personal information about them, you can blackmail them to do their job properly and to quit being such a waste of space with their beliefs and teachings.
Being a teacher is a pointless job.
-Mammon
P.S: I should be charging you extra for causing Bel to revert into his bloody self. He's ripping up all the workers, and it costs to bury them and to clean the blood out from the carpets and walls.
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Entry No. 13
Date: 01/10/12
6:00
Unknown location
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Kufufufu, I see the Varia have opened up an advice & questions column.
I'm surprised they're even getting any messages from you desperate people. And it seems like the little one has been insulting me again in the form of typing, and I don't take kindly to insults. Bloody Illusion, was it? I'll definitely be sure to pay you a visit on account of my student calling me a perverted pineapple.
Let's see how well you can handle my bloody illusions, kufufu.
-Mukuro
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Oh wow, I honestly didn't expect you guys to drop in some questions. I'm extremely happy with the alerts and reviews I got! And I bet you guys are surprised at the sudden entry from Mukuro. Well, TAH-DAH! Depending on the questions you guys send in, some other KHR characters might drop in to put up their own (weird) entries.
I changed the format of their entries too. The dates are real but I chose the times randomly. Hope you guys don't mind. Also, if the characters seem out of character to you, please, leave that in your review so that I can get better at writing them.
And I really should have typed this in the previous entry but Umi is my OC. I just forgot to type that. And I can't be bothered editing the previous chapter because I have no idea how to (I'm such a fail OTL)
I hope you guys continue to enjoy this series and please, keep sending in your questions in the form of a review! The Varia will get around to answering them in order (if they can). Remember, the questions can range from advice seeking to personal questions for the Varia members and you can request only one person from the Varia to answer if you want. And if you don't put your name at the end of your question, I'll write in your account name as the sender like I did for this question.
Thank you for reading!