ERMEGUD i totally forgot to put a disclaimer! alright here it goes!
Disclaimer : I do NOT own Hetalia or any of its characters. This disclaimer is valid for all the chapters previous to this one and the ones to come.
What I DO own are : This plot, Nightmares, REDs, my drawings and the Rock.
okay, done ^^
Hi guys! im back again!
(to Kylie : No, i'm sorry, but Sealand won't be in the story...!)
GAH! we're already at the 22nd chapter?! DD: i didn't even think it would get this long, honestly! i think we're somewhere over the half of the plot, something like 60% done...
i again have to thank you all for the wonderful reviews! you are so AWESOME...! and it makes me so happy knowing that people like my story!
(we reached 6500 views, people! 135 reviews! 43 followers and 38 favourites! :D :D thank you all SO much)
i know i didn't give Ludwig and Feli much space, but i will get to it, don't worry :P it's just that i have to focus on other characters and their relationships at the moment! And they. Are. So. MANY. RAAAH! I honestly am surprised i can handle them all! (not really, since i forgot about alfred in one chapter...WTF)
author's rant is done, you can continue reading peacefully. this chapter is a bit depressing in some moments, please bear with me!
ENJOY
Lukas was still coughing, as the rest of the Rock gang who wasn't busy came rushing in. Which consisted in a very worried Fin, an American and a German. Bella and Kiku were still looking after Arthur, and Romano was watching over a feverish and knocked out cold Feliciano. Francis was nowhere in sight.
"Mathias! You shouldn't be walking around!" Tino said, hurrying to the Dane's side. Sure enough, said Dane was kneeling down, a hand covering his bleeding abdomen.
"Idiootti…" the Fin said, but then he saw Lukas, who had moved to the side to the table with the help of Berwald.
"Dude…he just healed too!" Alfred exclaimed, pointing at the Norwegian who had in the meantime stopped coughing. He looked up to their faces, eyes wide. He stared at every single one of them, one by one. A tall blond and kind of looking pissed off German. A hyperactive and loud, also blond, American. A wide-eyed Fin, trying to help up Mathias while staring up at him. A smile appeared on Tino's face, as his eyes started watering.
"Lukas? Is that really you?"
Lukas opened his mouth to answer, but couldn't find his voice. He was tackle-hugged by Tino, who cried out in joy. "It really is you! You were cured!" Lukas winced, his shoulder and the left side of his chest hurt a little…
The Norwegian did not return the hug, he was just…too stunned. He looked down behind the Fin's back. Why was Mathias kneeling down, anyway?
Said Dane was helped up by the noisy American, and Lukas' eyes widened even more (if that was possible).
Red was staining Mathias' hands, and bandages covering the lower half of his torso were drenched in blood.
"Dude! Tino's right, man! You shouldn't walk in these conditions!"
Tino released the tight hug, and turned to Mathias again. "You idiot!" he started ranting and lecturing the Dane, but Lukas did not hear a single word of it.
"Norge, are you alright?" Mathias wheezed, noticing he was staring at his bandages. Lukas snapped out of it, and looked at the Dane. He grimaced. Why wasn't he worrying about himself, the idiot…? Suddenly all the memories of what had happened in that whole year came crashing down on him. His hands started shaking.
"…Norge…?"
He abruptly turned away from the people in front of him, only to be facing Berwald. A blindfolded Berwald.
More memories, and the look on his face became even more horrified. The Swede seemed to have sensed something was wrong. "L'kas?" he stretched his hand out.
Lukas couldn't take it.
He couldn't face them.
He jumped off the table and ran away, without really looking where he was going, and ignoring the surprised cries behind him.
Agh, he had done it again.
It wasn't really his intention doing it like that, but apparently it had worked! At least now Tino's friend would be cured.
But now he was on fire again…
Even if it looked like if burned less, this time, he still didn't feel good. At all. He was in the dark again, his heart and hand burning hot.
He was like that for a while, alone.
But suddenly, he heard a voice.
…Buonanotte, buonanotte amore mio,
buonanotte tra il telefono e il cielo…
…What was that?
A song… such a sad song… And he had heard it before, too.
Having had memory loss was such a pain…!
The song was supposed to be a waltz, but the voice was singing it like a lullaby. In both cases it was sad… and melancholic. But it was comforting, in his darkness and burning state.
…Buonanotte, buonanotte, fiorellino,
buonanotte tra le stelle e la stanza…
…per sognarti devo averti vicino,
e vicino non è ancora abbastanza…
The voice had skipped some lines…!
Or hadn't he heard them…? And how did he know that?
Too many questions. The song continued, and hushed him up. He listened, and the burning sensation in his chest cooled down a little.
…Buonanotte, buonanotte, monetina,
buonanotte tra il mare e la pioggia…
…la tristezza passerà domattina,
e l'anello resterà sulla spiaggia…
Hugh, Feliciano felt like crying. It was so melancholic…
His burning ache cooled down even more. His hand and heart didn't hurt that much anymore…
Wait. He suddenly realized something.
…Was that Romano singing?
Lukas ran the fastest he had ever run in his whole life. He had to escape from them. From Tino. From Berwald. From… he grimaced. …Mathias.
He stumbled, his balance unstable. Mostly because he had lost his…tail.
He shook his head while running God knows where. He was currently in another cave, who had a gaping hole in the ceiling, showing it was almost dawn. But he didn't notice that. He was thinking about something else completely.
He had done that to them! He, Lukas! He remembered every detail, every smell, every sound…
His stomach churned, and he almost tripped on his own feet, as he remembered every taste he had experienced that year. Oh no. No…nonono. It took all his willpower not to throw up right there on the spot.
Nobody was following him. Why though, he didn't know.
And honestly, he was glad for that. He continued running.
He ended up in a much more darker cave, with a sound of water streaming somewhere. Somehow, he could still see pretty well in the dark. Not that he wanted that. And not that he was really looking where he was running. This fact was proven as he put his foot in the stream of water, and tripped, losing balance yet again.
The Norwegian cried out in surprise when it happened, and he hit the ground, both of his legs in the stream, while his torso rested on solid, dry rock.
He groaned, as he scrambled up slowly. He was weak, and the wounds in his chest and shoulder did not really help. He was also wet from head to toe, probably because of the…the ice on him melting before. He limped a little, as he continued walking, but he soon found a dead end.
He stood, not believing it, in front of the rocky wall. "No…" He whispered, as he heard footsteps nearing. "…No!" he banged his fists against the wall. "No, no, no!" He didn't want to see them! He needed to get out of there! He wouldn't be able to bear just looking at their faces…
Forearms pressed against the wall, he slowly slid down, weakness getting the better of him. He heard their voices now, calling to him and echoing through the caves. "…Lukas!"
He turned, sitting down, his back pressed against the rock. "No! Don't come here!" he shouted.
The footsteps and voices stopped. He heard murmurs. "But…"
"Go away!" he yelled, grabbing his head with both hands and closing his eyes.
He heard murmurs again. Then a voice he hadn't heard before. "Let me handle this, Tino."
"Huh?! Oh, so you were here all the time! But…!"
"Please, Tino?"
Nothing happened for a few seconds, but then he heard footsteps leaving.
Silence then fell. Lukas was hyperventilating, memories flashing before his eyes. So much blood…!
He heard someone nearing, but he didn't even look up. "Go away!" He repeated, eyes shut. No use, when he closed his eyes he would still see those dreadful memories… actually, they were more vivid.
"Lukas, calm down." The stranger said.
"How can you say that?! How can I calm down?!" The Norwegian shouted, finally looking up. "Do you even know-!" he stopped midsentence.
Francis sat down before him, cross-legged. "I do know, actually." He smiled weakly. Lukas noticed his eyes were glowing in the dark cave.
Lukas breathed a deep, dry sob, tears finally streaming down his cheeks. "Francis…? I…I-I…"
"I know." Francis said, moving closer and pulling him into a hug. "I know."
The Norwegian couldn't take it anymore, and had a major break down, crying out as silently as he could and sobbing into the Frenchman's shirt.
After half an hour, all tears seemed to have flowed out of his eyes. He couldn't shed one more single tear. Lukas hiccupped, releasing the hug.
"Takk…" he whispered, looking away from Francis. The Frenchman saw he was still thinking about what they had done those past months.
"Hey. Pull yourself together."
Lukas turned to look at the Frenchman again. "But…" he covered his face with a hand. "What I've done…horrible…"
Francis put a comforting hand on the Norwegian's shoulder. "I've gone through that too. I remember it all as well. But…" he sighed. "You won't get anywhere if you keep blaming and pitying yourself."
Lukas was about to complain, glaring, but Francis stopped him by bringing up a hand.
"I know what we've done. I know what we were thinking. But it's the past. It hurts, but…you have to focus on the present. I don't ask you to forget those things, I don't think it's possible, honestly. However…" he paused, thinking. "…I chose to focus on the present, focus on my newfound friends, and on the possibility of saving the future. It keeps my mind busy, and it helps me forgiving myself a bit, as I'm trying to fix what I've done."
Lukas didn't answer, and let his head hang.
"You remember the 'mistake'?"
The Norwegian nodded. That auburn haired boy...
"That's who I'm focusing most on at the moment. He has the extraordinaire gift of curing Nightmares and, well, us." Francis paused. "He's the best, and probably last hope of this ruined world. And I will do everything that is in my power to save him, or the other members of this bizarre gang, from any harm. That's what I chose to live for, the moment I stopped pitying myself."
Another pause, and Francis stood up.
"Find something to live for, or otherwise you'll probably kill yourself."
He started walking away, as Lukas' head snapped up to look at him. He couldn't find anything to say. His head was still too confused and filled with dreadful images.
Before Francis left the cave, however, he stopped, as if remembering something.
"There's another reason why I carry on. Arthur wouldn't forgive me if I killed myself," he chuckled weakly "…and he probably would jump into whatever hellhole I'd gotten into just to give me a good scold, before dragging me back to the world of the living. Live on…for Mathias."
Then he left.
Lukas was left alone with himself. He was still too confused. Images flashing through his head, and Francis' words ringing in his ears.
He looked around in the cave. He was all alone.
The gentle sound of running water finally reached his ears.
Somehow, the water stream looked so inviting…
He weakly stood up, and slowly walked to where said water was.
…
It would be much easier, and less painful, wouldn't it…?
...To end it all.
Feliciano heard Romano sing the song again. He was still floating in darkness, but now he didn't mind anymore. The burning sensation was slowly ebbing away, as the song continued, leaving only comforting warmth.
This time he heard the whole song, without interruptions.
Buonanotte, buonanotte, amore mio.
Buonanotte tra il telefono e il cielo.
Ti ringrazio per avermi stupito,
per avermi giurato che è vero.
Il granturco nei campi è maturo,
ed ho tanto bisogno di te.
La coperta è gelata e l'estate è finita…
Buonanotte, questa notte è per te.
Buonanotte, buonanotte, fiorellino.
Buonanotte tra le stelle e la stanza.
Per sognarti devo averti vicino,
e vicino non è ancora abbastanza.
Ora un raggio di sole si è fermato,
proprio sopra il mio biglietto scaduto.
Tra i tuoi fiocchi di neve e le tue foglie di tè…
Buonanotte, questa notte è per te.
Buonanotte, buonanotte, monetina.
Buonanotte tra il mare e la pioggia.
La tristezza passerà domattina,
e l'anello resterà sulla spiaggia…!
Gli uccellini nel vento non si fanno mai male,
hanno ali più grandi di me…!
E dall'alba al tramonto sono soli nel sole…
Buonanotte,
questa notte è per te.
By the time Romano had finished the song, Feliciano was awake.
"Ve…" he murmured, opening his eyes "Romano, you can sing very good…!"
Romano wasn't expecting that, and he suddenly retracted the hand that had been resting on his head. "Agh! Don't scare me like that, idiot!"
Feliciano chuckled. "But it's true…"
"Wait. How can you be awake already?!" The older Italian wondered. "It's only been four hours!"
"Ve…?"
"How do you feel?"
The small Italian pouted, thinking. His hand throbbed a little, but for the rest he felt perfectly fine. "I feel fine!" he chirped.
As Romano was muttering something to himself, Feliciano wanted to ask a question.
"Fratellone?"
"What."
"What was that song you were singing earlier?"
Romano's head snapped sideways to look at him, surprised, but then his gaze softened. "Oh right. You don't remember shit, do you?"
"…"
"…It's a lullaby our grandpa would sing to us. Mostly during thunderstorms, which you were scared shitless of."
Feliciano's eyes widened. He had a grandpa?! Well, of course he did, but… the thought just never had even crossed his mind before. He suddenly thought of his parents. He would have had those too, right?
"Romano… could you please tell me more about our family?"
Romano's eye twitched in annoyance. "No."
"Pretty please?" Feliciano whined, sitting up.
"Hey! You shouldn't move yet!" The older Italian tried to get him down again.
Feliciano's eyes twinkled. "Only if you tell me."
Romano grumbled, and then groaned. "You know what? Whatever."
"Yay!"
Romano grumbled again. "It's not that much of a story, though. When I was two, you were born. We lived in Italy somewhere near Rome, with our parents. Their names were Lucia and Renzo. When I was five and you three, they died in a car accident."
Feliciano gasped. So bluntly said…!
The older Italian noticed his brother's reaction. "Don't even remember them that well. They were nice parents, but… Anyway, we were later taken care of by our nonno. He was still pretty young, so he could take it, both the stress and the economic weight we were. He was our real father." Romano paused. "His name was Romulus, but he preferred to be called Rome, or, by us, Nonno Roma. Tch. The old man was way too full of himself. And way too obsessed with Roman history."
Feliciano had a vague memory. He remembered the song, sung by a male, baritone voice. But otherwise, nothing. He suddenly had a déjà-vu as he was afraid to ask the next question. "So… what happened to nonno…?"
Romano looked at his brother. "He died before the Disaster, because… because of a stupid heart attack. I warned that old geezer so many times not to eat that much tiramisù."
Feliciano felt relieved, mostly because he hadn't been killed or turned into a Nightmare, and then guilty. He had forgotten all about him, as well! Just like with his brother. He needed to know more, so he asked.
"There is nothing more to tell, really. He loved wine, women, cooking, eating. I actually am surprised he didn't become obese. His favourite food was tiramisù, and the maniac was always putting basil in every dish he made. He had filled our house with dozens of basil plants."
The younger Italian's eyes widened. …Basil…?!
So that was who the basil always reminded him of! He smiled a little, a warm feeling blooming in his chest. At least he did remember something. "Nonno…"
He then moved to sit up again.
"What the flying fuck, Feli?! You said you wouldn't move!"
Feliciano stuck his tongue out, sitting and ready to stand up. "I did, when you were telling me, ve!"
"Tch. Fine! Just so you know, if you collapse somewhere I am definitely not bringing you to bed, you hear me?!"
…Some hours later, at noon…
Tino wiped his forehead, which was beaded with sweat.
Finally, Arthur was out of life danger. For the moment.
Kiku had found a way to bandage the Brit so the air would be able to get out of the wound, and not let air or blood into the lung. Arthur was currently still lying on the table in his own medical room. He was dreadfully pale, but his pulse and breathing had stabilized.
Tino sighed, as he walked slowly to the dining cave. All he was wishing for was a comfortable seat, now. He still was worried for Lukas, he had sounded so desperate, so torn…
He sighed yet again, and he entered the cave. He looked around. Some people were obviously missing, like Arthur or Mathias. The Dane had been tied down to his bed, mostly because he was constantly trying to get up and walk to Lukas, worsening his already pretty bad conditions. Because of his little trip to go and see Lukas, some hours before, had almost ripped open the stitches, that idiot.
The others were all busy doing something.
Berwald was just sitting on a couch, trying not to bore himself to death, mostly listening to the others talking. Bella was cooking something, along with Romano, which Tino thought it was strange. Why wasn't he with Feliciano? Kiku was reading a book (where he got those from, Tino would never know), while Alfred was constantly interrupting him by saying something, as Berwald would usually put it, 'stoopid'. However, when the topic fell on horror movies or games, it seemed to click, as the Japanese knew all too much about them.
Francis was paying a solitaire at the table, but seemed stuck. Tino's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he saw Ludwig, talking (more listening) to a ranting Feliciano. How could he already have recovered? Last time he had been knocked out for 24 hours or so…
"Hey, ciao Tino!" The Italian waved at him, beckoning him over.
"Feliciano?" The Fin asked, pretty surprised, as he stepped closer.
Ludwig shook his head. "Ja, we were all surprised. But it seems Feliciano's body is…getting used to the infection. He woke up after only four hours or something."
Tino smiled, happy. "Really? I'm happy for you, Feli!" The time he had dealt with Francis' infection, it had looked like he was close to dying. So it was a really big relief, actually.
Bella and Romano started cursing at each other, mainly because Bella thought Romano had exaggerated with the pepper. Alfred was shivering near a calm Kiku, probably because of the plot of a horror movie.
Feliciano turned to look at Francis. "Ve, Francis!"
Francis was bending the corner of one of the cards, eyes looking at the game but actually thinking something else. "Hm?"
"Where's Lukas? Tino's, Berwald's and Mathias' friend? I heard that I cured him, right?"
Francis sighed, sitting back and flipping the card he had through his fingers. "Oui, he was cured. But he needs time to think, on his own. We just have to wait, I suppose."
Tino frowned, was he really sure? The Norwegian had sounded desperate, when he had yelled at them.
He just hoped nothing would happen at him, and that he wouldn't do anything stupid.
"OI, shitheads! Lunch is ready!"
Mathias struggled in his binds. "Fanden!" he cussed. Ludwig was pretty good at tying knots, and so he was stuck on the mattress. He moved until one of the many ropes brushed on his abdomen, and the Dane hissed instantly.
He was worried about Lukas. He had heard his shouts all the way over there, so it was only natural. Why wasn't he here?! Why wouldn't anybody bother to untie him?!
"God damn it! Stupid ropes!" he cursed, starting to struggle again.
"You are going to open up your wound again like this, din idiot." A familiar voice said.
"Whu?" Mathias craned his neck to look over at the entrance of the room.
"You look like a complete idiot, you know that?" Lukas said, arms folded on his chest, standing in the doorway.
Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long note.
GAAAH! why does this feel like a filler?! ;_;
and yay! lukas didn't kill himself!
i just love imagining francis (and lukas, now, too) with NEON eyes hahaha! :D if you're asking yourself why Lukas didn't recognize Francis' voice, i have to remind you that when they were REDs their voices were distorted...!
about the missing character, seeing that 90% of you guessed him, i will openly reveal who he is!
*dramatic pause* Iceland, otherwise known as Emil Steilsson!(not Bondevik, even if he is Lukas' brother, because as far as i know icelandic naming sistem is STRANGE ._.)
as always, i will upload this friday! see you! ;)
...
This. Song. ARGH! i love it so much. i highly recommend it, and if you are in the mood, try listening to it during the chapter!
Its very short, only 2 minutes, so i ask you to please try and listen to it, it's beautiful. here below i wrote the lyrics and translated them ^.^
Title of the song: Buonanotte fiorellino
Artist : Francesco de Gregori
video on youtube:
/watch?v=wWJvhU2WOfY
Buonanotte, buonanotte, amore mio. (Goodnight, goodnight, my love)
Buonanotte tra il telefono e il cielo. (Goodnight between the phone and the sky)
Ti ringrazio per avermi stupito, (Thank you for having amazed me)
per avermi giurato che è vero. (For having sweared it was true)
Il granturco nei campi è maturo, (The sweet corn in the fields is ripe)
ed ho tanto bisogno di te. (And i really need you)
La coperta è gelata e l'estate è finita… (The blanket is cold and the summer is over)
Buonanotte, questa notte è per te. (Goodnight, this night is for you)
Buonanotte, buonanotte, fiorellino. (Goodnight, goodnight little flower)
Buonanotte tra le stelle e la stanza. (Goodnight between the stars and the room)
Per sognarti devo averti vicino, (To dream of you I need you close)
e vicino non è ancora abbastanza. (And close is still not enough)
Ora un raggio di sole si è fermato, (Now a sun ray has stopped)
proprio sopra il mio biglietto scaduto. (Right on my expired ticket)
Tra i tuoi fiocchi di neve e le tue foglie di tè… (Between your snowflakes and your tealeaves)
Buonanotte, questa notte è per te. (Goodnight, this night is for you)
Buonanotte, buonanotte, monetina. (Goodnight, goodnight, little coin)
Buonanotte tra il mare e la pioggia. (Goodnight between the sea and the rain)
La tristezza passerà domattina, (The sadness will be over tomorrow morning)
e l'anello resterà sulla spiaggia…! (And the ring will rest on the beach)
Gli uccellini nel vento non si fanno mai male, (Little birds never hurt themselves in the wind)
hanno ali più grandi di me…! (They have wings bigger than me)
E dall'alba al tramonto sono soli nel sole… (And from the dawn to the sunset they are alone in the sun)
Buonanotte,
questa notte è per te. (Goodnight, this night is for you)
...
Idiootti : (finnish) idiot
Takk : (norwegian) thanks
Fratellone : (italian) big brother
Nonno : (italian) grandpa
Tiramisù : Italian dessert based on Mascarpone(some kind of cream), Savoiardi('finger' biscuits), coffee, cocoa and occasionally rhum.
Fanden : (danish) dammit! (lit. 'hell')
Din idiot : (norwegian) you idiot
-Random fact is Random - Feliciano's and Romano's parents are named after the main characters of an important Italian literature novel , known as "I promessi Sposi" (The Betrothed) by Alessandro Manzoni: Lucia Mondella and Renzo (Lorenzo) Tramaglino.
I originally wanted to name them Romeo and Giulietta (SOO ORIGINAL) but then i noticed that almost all their names began with ROM- (ROMulus, ROMeo, ROMano)... at least now they only begin with R!