Entry No. 61
Date: 5/12/12
1:05 PM
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Because Miss Curious Bird – that weird twat who always nags us – is on her holiday now, she has decided to put up a special event for this advice column that was inspired by another advice column which was created because that author was inspired by this advice column. Bloody 'ell, that's a confusing sentence now isn't it? Anyway, I think Miss Curious Bird is being stupid – What am I saying? She's always stupid – since she really shouldn't be slacking off from her schoolwork and leaving it to the last minute like she normally does and should be spending time out in the real world like a normal healthy person instead of trolling on the Internet like a modern day caveman. But oh well, it's her own grave she's digging here.
Anyway, until Christmas time, the advice column will now take any questions you have for any other people like the Vongola 10th Generation, Shimon, Kokuyo Gang, Milliefiore, Arcobaleno, just practically anyone really.
Maybe except for the dead people like the Vongola 1st Generation.
I mean, we can't bring the dead back to life. That's ridiculous. But if you ask for them, we'll do our best – sort of – to try and get it answered. (We'd probably have to go to one of those mediums or psychics, whatever they're called) Now, let's get on with the warnings because, let's admit it, some of the people here need them.
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Warnings
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1) We are not responsible to any emotional and/or mental damages done to you and your self-esteem with our replies.
2) By asking stupid or utterly ridiculous questions to some of these people, you have agreed to be a target for physical and/or mental harm after receiving your answers.
3) We are not responsible for any perverted answers you may receive from Dr. Shamal, Belphegor, Julie and possibly Mukuro depending on how he phrases his answers.
4) We are not responsible for any creepy and/or disturbing answers you may receive from the following: Verde, Belphegor, Byakuran, Lussuria, Dr. Shamal, Mukuro, Rasiel and Glo Xinia.
5) We are not responsible for any threats you may receive from the following: Gokudera Hayato, Superbi Squalo, Xanxus, Hibari Kyoya, Belphegor, Mammon, Levi A Than, Joshima Ken and Rokudo Mukuro.
6) We are not responsible for anything you have done after having taken our advices.
7)You are warned that there will be explicit cursing in some of the answers given, mainly from the following people: Xanxus, Squalo…well, it's just basically those two really.
8) By mentioning either Belphegor or Rasiel to the other brother in a question, we are not held responsible to any one of the two princes appearing outside your window at night to kill you.
9) By calling Squalo anything relating to the term 'female', you have agreed that we are in no way responsible for any sort of pain he inflicts upon you with his sword.
10) Depending on how personal a question may be, we have every right to either give you half-assed answers out of rage or embarrassment or not answer at all.
11) A repetition of questions will not bode well for any one of us, so please look at what other people send in incase your question is already there.
12) If you ignored warning number 10, then do not troll us by asking why we haven't answered your question. The only reason we wouldn't have answered your question is because it is a repetition of one we have previously answered or one that is already posted up by another reader.
13) We are not held responsible if Mammon or M.M somehow grab hold of your bank account or have, in some way, magically stole money from you if you have not sent in payment for their answers.
14) Yes, readers, Xanxus and Levi A Than will be answering your questions this time around.
15) You can only ask another question once your previous one has been answered, but don't ask too many questions like, say, more than 10 max.
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And now, onto what we promise you, our lovely readers
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1) We will answer each and every question sent to us to the best of our abilities.
2) Until Christmas day, there will be almost daily updates. If we so happen to miss out on a day or two, do not fret, it will only be because something really bad or upsetting has happened. (Unless you're an extremely kind person then yes, you may fret for us)
3) …Well…that's basically it, really. What more do you greedy people want from us? This is just an advice column, not a tumblr where we can post pictures or something for your entertainment.
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Every chapter/column posted up by us will answer the questions we have received from the previous post, and remember, this is a special daily event so be reasonable with the amount of questions you send in to us. Give other people a chance to send in some questions.
After Christmas day, this column will go back to being only the Varia replying to your questions but keep a lookout for future special events that we will do!
Well, that's if this column survives long enough for any future special events…
Some special events will be like Valentine's Day and such. Now! Onto some advertising, because that's what the Varia is all about, haha. Go check out Vongola's Suggestion Page run by Madame Kri~! Both pages/columns will be answering questions so go on and ask, ask, ask away, lovely darling readers! We look forward to your questions! And of course, both Madame Kri and Miss Curious Bird aren't paying any of us for doing these pages/columns. We're basically doing all of this for free (which would explain why Mammon and M.M are charging you guys for answers from them)
-Umi
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I'm going to be extremely creepy here for a moment because Madame Kri's 'Vongola's Suggestion Page' was inspired by this silly 'Varia Advice Column' that I made and I just want to smother her in love because I'm so honoured and overjoyed and happy and just ASDASLDNASDALDAN
Now, please send in any/all of your questions~! And yes, I was being serious. This will be a daily update until Christmas so keep coming back everyday for new chapters! (If you want to get specific, I'm updating with Australian time here)
Thank you again for the wonderful reviews, the favs, and the follows! They make me happy! :'D