Sorry it took so long. I finally thought of another good idea. This one shot will be a Setsuna one. Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
The 40 Thousand Year Old Virgin
It was that time of year again. It was the time of the annual senshi camping trip. I was forced to come by my housemates and Small Lady. Wish I could have stayed home though. This trip has been pretty boring so far. When we got here the first thing we did was set up our tents. Usagi had ended up destroying hers in the process and ended up having to sleep with Rei in her tent. Afterwards we went fishing for supper. To no ones surprise, Usagi ended up falling into the river trying to scoop a fish out. All in all, it was pretty uneventful.
That night we all sat around the campfire roasting marshmallows. That is until Minako pulled out beer bottles. How she got them I'll never know, and that's surprising considering I am the time guardian.
"Minako-chan, where did you get those?" Usagi asked her.
"I snuck them out of the fridge. I hope dad doesn't notice they're gone." She laughed sheepishly. "So who's up to a drinking game?" She asked.
"What kind of drinking game?" Makoto asked.
"I was thinking of 'I Never'." Minako said. Usagi looked confused. "It's a game where we all take turns saying something we never done. If anyone in the circle has done what was said, they have to take a drink."
"Sounds like fun." Usagi said. The beer bottles were quickly passed around. Why did I have a bad feeling about this?
"I'll start!" Minako said. "I never destroyed my tent while setting it up." Usagi took a drink.
"I never fell in the river while catching fish." Rei said. Usagi took another drink.
"I never… wasted an entire day chasing after Haruka-san." Ami said. Usagi, Minako, Makoto, and Michiru took a drink.
"I never had sex before." Makoto said. Usagi, Haruka, and Michiru took a drink. I gasped at Usagi.
"You're had sex already?!" She nodded. "I knew Haruka and Michiru had since my room is right next to there's, but you?!"
"What about you Setsuna-san, you didn't take a drink." Minako pointed out. I blushed at this. It seemed my secret was out.
"Well that's because I never have had sex before." I told them. Everyone gasped.
"And how old are you again?" Haruka asked me. She just had to rub it in. I blushed even more.
"I'm 40 thousand." I said. Everyone doubled over.
"You mean in 40 thousand years, you've never had sex before?" Michiru asked me. I nodded.
"Wow, I don't think I'd be able to last that long." Haruka said. This coming from the girl who lost her virginity to some drunk girl when she was 14.
"I can't believe it, a 40 thousand year old virgin. And I thought 40 year old virgin were crazy." Minako said.
"Oh shut up! All of you!" I hollered. I knew this camping trip was a bad idea.
"Wow, sounds like someone needs to get laid." Haruka commented. I smacked her in the back of the head. Minako walked up beside me and put an arm around my shoulder.
"Don't worry, Setsuna-san. With the help of me, the senshi of love, you will soon lose your virginity." She struck a victory pose. Why did I not like the sounds of this?
The camping trip was finally over. At last I was back at home. No more sleeping on the ground in a tent. I was just getting comfortable on the couch when the doorbell rang. Michiru quickly answered it.
"Hello there, Minako-chan!" I heard her say, "What brings you here?" Why did I not like the sounds of this?
"Hello, Michiru-san! Is Setsuna-san home?" Minako asked. This could not be good.
"Yes, she's sitting on the couch in the living room." Within seconds, I had Minako on my lap. She gave me a big hug.
"Are you ready to lose your virginity?" She asked me. I knew this was bad. What on Earth was she planning?
"Um, no." I squeaked. Honestly, what was wrong with being a virgin? Minako laughed at me.
"Of coarse you're ready! Who wouldn't be ready after 40 thousand years?" Why was she putting words into my mouth? She grabbed my arm and dragged me off the couch. "We're going guy hunting!" She paused and turned to me, "Or do you prefer girls?" I stared at her blankly.
"How would I know?" I screamed.
"Don't you know your own preferences?" She asked me.
"Well I know I prefer bacon over sausage." I told her. A large sweat drop rolled down her head.
"I meant your sexual preferences." She said.
"Well I never had sex before or even thought about it." I told her.
"You're worse then I thought." She said. She pulled harder on my arm. "Come on, we'll get you laid if it's the last thing we do."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" I cried as I was dragged out the door.
"Bye, have fun!" Haruka called.
"Have her home by midnight!" Michiru called. They weren't helping.
An hour later, we arrived at a club. The bouncer let us in right away, much to my displeasure. The music was very loud inside the club. People were dancing like crazy on the floor, grinding with drinks in hand. This place was hell. I clung to Minako's arm as she walked around the club. She had a big stupid grin on her face the entire time.
"The great thing about this club is that not only are there a lot of guys, there are also a lot of bisexual girls. You can experiment tonight to discover your preferences." She said.
"And what if I don't want to discover my preferences?" I asked. She bonked me on the head and pushed me in the direction of some random guy. The guy turned to face me and smiled. Now I was scared.
"Why hello there, babe." He said as he put an arm around my shoulder.
"Hi!" I squeaked. He chuckled at my reaction.
"What's wrong, babe, never been with a man?" I nodded. "So you're an experimenting lesbian?" I shook my head. "You're a virgin?" I nodded. He chuckled some more. "Well I'm just going to have to be extra gentle with you." I was as stiff as I could possibly be. "Hey, Tamara, I got a virgin over here." A young butch looking women with short black hair came over.
"Hi!" I squeaked once again.
"This is my lesbian friend, Tamara." The man said, "I'm Daisuke by the way."
"I'm Setsuna." I squeaked. I shot my hand out robotically so they could shake it. I really had no idea what to do. They both laughed at me.
"You found quite the funny one." Tamara commented.
"Indeed I did." Daisuke said. "So how about we all have some fun." I did not like the sounds of this.
I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I felt like I was missing something. I looked to my left to find a man. I looked at my right to find a woman. There was no way this could be good. Just then the entire senshi team burst into the room. Confetti fell from the ceiling, party noise makers popped, and a large sign with 'Congratulations!' on it fell from the ceiling.
"Congratulations on losing you're virginity, Setsuna-san!" The senshi yelled. Oh great, now I was in trouble. Chibiusa started to cry.
"I can't believe Puu is finally becoming a woman." She cried.
"I know, it's hard to believe." Haruka said. Veins popped in my head. I whipped the time staff out and started blasting at everyone.
"All of you, out!" I screamed. Everyone scrambled from my room, including Daisuke and Tamara.
"And so ends the tale of the 40 thousand year old virgin!" I heard Usagi say. I promptly sent a blast in her direct. Looks like I better spent a long few months at the time gates.
The End!
Well I hope you liked this one. I know it may be similar to my last Setsuna one, but it's still great, right?