OHMYGOSH THERE IS A REVIEW. Thank you MsTg1313! I got really excited when I saw that :D

Okay, so this chapter isn't really about Toby and Justine, but instead about Toby (pause) and Justine as well. Yeah, I don't know if that made sense. BUT basically it's not about their relationship. It's more about what's going on in their lives other than the whole 'missing each other' thing.

Justine's POV

I was at Cat's now, stretched out across her sofa. I always came here when I wasn't in the mood to be pampered by Ryan. If I wanted breakfast, I could make a damn egg sandwich all by myself. Or I could just go to Starbucks. Either way, I could do it myself. Every single morning I wake up to him making breakfast for me. Jesus, Ryan! It's seven o'clock in the morning! And not only that, but he also expects me to talk to him. I'm not a morning person, leave me the hell alone. I mean, it's a nice gesture and all, but I'm not the kind of girl who likes when guys do that stuff. Every once and while is fine. Sweet, even. But every day? No. Just no.

I feel bad about the whole Ryan situation, though. I let it get way too serious, knowing I was never going to love him. And poor baby, he probably thinks he's doing everything right. Which, I guess he is. He's just doing all the right things for the wrong girl. A girl who just can't get over a certain guy. He doesn't know that. It's not my intention to hurt him, honest. But I just can't seem to bring myself to tell him I don't love him. Now I'm afraid that one day it will all come spilling out of me. I'll tell him about Toby. I'll tell him about how much I hate who I am. I'll tell him that I'll never fall in love with him. It would only hurt him. But now, there was no way around it. He was going to get hurt either way. I'd let it go on for too long. I'd fooled everyone into thinking that I loved him. There was no fixing this thing.

When did my life become so messed up?

2 years ago, maybe.

"Are you going to that party tonight?" Cat asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Benny and Rafi's?"

"Yeah. I may go if you are. They invited me, but it's not like I know anyone that'll be there good enough to hold a conversation with them."

"Yeah, I'm going. Jenna and Ryan are, too."

"Oh, Good. Then maybe I'll go," Cat said

"Please do," I begged.

"Okay, I will. But even if I didn't you'd still have Jenna and Ryan and all your Youtuber friends to talk to!"

"Yeah, but I loooove you!"

Cat giggled, "I loooove you, too!"

I didn't really want to go, but if Cat went I would be able to handle it. I wasn't much of a "Partyer" anymore. I mean, it's not like I was ever hardcore or anything, but I enjoyed them when I did go. I don't really enjoy them anymore. Especially since people always say, "Ryan can come, too!" like that would make me so excited. I always invited him, though. I was afraid that if I didn't I'd seem like an awful girlfriend. Which, I was.

Toby's POV

The only time I ever got tired of looking at myself was when I edited my videos. Ugh. It was awful. I hated it because I was just so stupid. The person I was on camera was so irritating. It made me want to catch on fire. (Catch on fire. That's what I'm going to say now. I try to avoid saying things like, 'shoot myself,' or, 'kill myself' because that causes tons of internet drama nowadays. So I've found a way around it. Catch on fire. Genius, I know.)

Toby, shut up. You're so annoying.

I thought to myself as I listened to me rambling on about absolutely nothing as I played Happy Wheels.

I took a sip of the half-empty (or half-full for all you optimists) beer. I looked around the room, seeing all the empty bottles of various alcoholic beverages and sighed. I should probably clean this place up before anyone comes over. It's not like I planned on having anyone over soon, but just in case. I knew if someone did, they'd think I have a problem. They would want to talk to me or something. I'm not much of a talker. Well, I am, but not about the serious shit. I knew that if my friends— Jack, especially —found out I was drinking again they'd immediately call my mom. I know how ridiculous that sounds, seeing as I am a 28-year-old man, but they would. I know it. My mom would come over here and cry and set up some intervention that she wouldn't dare call an intervention, then invite all my friends, who would act like my drinking hurt them whilst trying not to laugh.

I don't really feel like dealing with that. So now when I go to parties, I drink before so no one flips out on me. I was going to a party tonight, actually. Now I have to make sure I have enough alcohol in my system to last me the night.

I wondered if I might end up drinking myself to death. I don't guess it would really matter. I don't care if I'm dead or alive, really. Both living and dying scare the hell out of me, so basically I'm fucked either way.

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