A/N: ...Hi. (DON'T KILL ME)
I didn't plan to not update for... er, a lot of months it just kind of happened. I mean, I've been busy at times and stuff but mostly it's just been my laziness, procrastinating and evil freaking writer's block. I'm the kind of writer who'll sit down and write about 5 pages in a day and then not be able to write anything else for that story for a month, or more, except for tiny mini hardly significant paragraphs. Lucky for you guys (and for my conscience which has been massively kicking me over not updating) today was a I-feel-really-creative-so-lets-write-lots day. YAY! :D
I genuinely am reallyyyy super duper incredibly sorry for not updating stupidly long though. And I also feel really bad cos I'd love to give you guys lots of fluff and lovely adorable Klaine moments but, alas, it's not to be. I wouldn't call this a filler chapter but it's definitely not a Klaine centric chapter which sucks a bit :S. This chapter and the next are basically one gigantic chapter which I've decided to split into two (thank ya for the advice, Daisy :)) because a) I haven't written the second half yet and b) I'm still not 100% sure on some of what's happening in the second half. I mean, I know what I want to happen it's just writing it, the order and the POVs that I'm not sure on. Also, this way hopefully you'll get a much quicker update than last time :D I mean, I know it's not going to take nearly that long but even before then I've had a pretty shit record of updating regularly. I'm really trying to change that but I can't promise anything; what I can promise is forcing myself to write as much as I can in this Easter holidays so hopefully a next update isn't too far off. After Easter though I'm really not sure.
I tried to include some non-angsty moments as this is quite an angsty chapter but I think I failed :(. Sorry. The next one (though still angsty) will hopefully be nicer.
Rant and grovelling over, I finally, after all these freaking months, present you with the next chapter :) I hope it's worth the wait.
BTW sorry if the writing style seems a bit different in two of the parts; I wrote some of this a few months ago and the rest today (spent a good few hours on this, lovely few hours it was :)) so, yeah, sorry about that.
Please review, follow and favourite as you will :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee; if I did there'd be a hell of a lot more Klaine and Brittana guest-starring Lord Tubbington.
"But what did I DO?"
Blaine winced as the yells grew louder as the pair moved towards the door. The moment they'd all returned to their neighbouring rooms it was agreed (as Nick stormed off to his room) that they'd all give Nick some space – save for Wes since he was the only one (excluding Jeff) Nick tended to allow near him when he was upset – so the rest of the boys ended up in David and Wes's room while Wes went after Nick. That was until this morning when David and Blaine woke up to no Jeff in the room and to the sound of yelling next-door. By the time they'd gotten dressed Wes was already outside the arguees' door looking as if he hadn't gotten one hour of sleep.
Blaine knew Jeff felt confused and hurt, Nick was very angry, David felt weary and Wes felt bound to Nick, having known him the longest, to be there for him... but Blaine didn't know how he felt. Probably similar to Jeff in the confusion area he supposed but mostly he just felt sad; they'd all got on reasonably well but then it had all suddenly kicked off the moment one of the New Directions girls (Santana something?) had broken a glass and stormed off, closely followed by Nick after Jeff and Kurt had shared a hug. Blaine could maybe understand being a bit annoyed by his boyfriend hugging another boy but he also thought Nick had overreacted; it just looked like two new friends sharing an innocent hug, there was nothing particularly flirty or intimate about it.
Or at least, that's what Blaine was hoping it was.
As Blaine stood in the hallway listening to Nick and Jeff's argument growing louder and angrier, he tried to come to terms with his crush on Kurt. Okay, so he didn't know him that well, but he knew he was special. The way he spoke, the way he smiled, the way he sang; all these things made Blaine smile despite the grim mood around him. He hoped Kurt wasn't straight and liked him back and the confident part of Blaine's brain told him he probably did (it wasn't the flamboyant clothes or high voice that made him think Kurt could be gay; it was the way he'd agreed to dance with Blaine, how he'd blushed while talking to him and, which made Blaine's inside warm up a bit, how he thought his 'eyes glowed magically' though that could have just been brought on by last night's alcohol) but there was always that little doubt niggling away at his self-assurance; what if Kurt didn't like him? What if he just liked him as a friend or, worse, already had a boyfriend or girlfriend who he was happy with back in Ohio? Being a genuinely nice person made it so the last thing Blaine would ever want to do is get in between two people in love, especially after he'd had his heart broken and his problems at home.
Speaking of problems at home...
"You know how much trouble I get with my family, I was just looking forward to coming on this trip with you and the guys to get away from it all and you know what? I'm over it!" Nick roared.
Despite Blaine's concern for what the other boy was feeling he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for Nick; he understood just wanting to escape, to have fun while it lasted before he had to go back into the real world. That's part of why he and Nick were friends; they both shared a love for Dalton that no one else had as that was their utopia, where they felt most at home in the world; hell, it was their home. A home where all the Warblers and the other students were, excluding the occasional drama like when someone stole Wes's gavel, just like one big dysfunctional-yet-somehow-at-the-same-time-dapper family.
And just like in a family when the parents sometimes fought in front of their kids, it hurt Blaine to listen to his friends' yelling.
"If you don't know what you did then I'm not going to tell you!" Nick shouted.
"Then how am I supposed to be sorry for it? I understand you're having problems at home Nick but that's not a reason to take it out on me! You've been really moody ever since we got here and I just don't understand why" Jeff yelled back.
Blaine kept his eyes on the floor, trying to block out the pain in Jeff's voice and the pain he himself was feeling at this whole fight.
After a few seconds Blaine felt someone's hand on his arm and he looked up to see David looking mournfully down at him. He whispered so as not to deter Jeff and Nick from the fight which they both knew they should get out of their systems, "Are you okay?"
Blaine shrugged as the door to the hotel suite burst open, revealing a red-faced and pissed off looking Nick.
"Just leave me alone Jeff!" He said darkly, sweeping past the other Warblers as he stormed off down the corridor. The blonde he was yelling at stood in the doorway watching Nick's exit helplessly as tears started to fall from his eyes.
"Wes..." David said gently. That was all Wes needed to start off after Nick, grim but determined to find out why he was so angry at Jeff.
"Do you want to go find where breakfast is then?" Blaine asked tiredly. "I could do with some coffee after that"
"You go ahead; I want to stay with Jeff for a bit but I might catch up with you later" David replied. Blaine nodded and as he walked past Jeff and Nick's he sincerely hoped they would make up; they were one of those couples who'd always been there; the one which your friends would have bets over when someone was going to propose and which one it was going to be. Without them the Warblers, and his group of friends, would just feel... wrong.
"Here's your coffee 'Cedes" Kurt said, slipping into the seat opposite his friend in the hotel's breakfast hall.
"Thanks Boo" Mercedes smiled weakly and Kurt couldn't help but notice she'd barely touched her breakfast.
"Are you okay? You know, after last night?" He asked tentatively.
"You're asking me that? You're the one who had a hobbit all angry at you"
"I thought Brittany said Blaine was a hobbit, an attractive one might I say, but a hobbit. Nick's more like... a dwarf" Kurt grinned devilishly.
Choking on her coffee with laughter Mercedes smiled genuinely this time and started to eat. A smile graced his face as seeing his friend happier made Kurt feel a bit better too.
"You're totally crushing on Blaine Warbler aren't you, Boo?" Mercedes teased, a playful glint in her eye.
"I highly doubt his second name is Warbler, 'Cedes"
Her grin grew at Kurt's dodging the question.
Yes Kurt thought Blaine was incredibly cute and amazing but that didn't mean he planned to act on it; the last time he'd tried to flirt the guy had ended up being his step-brother with slightly homophobic beliefs and Kurt really didn't want to go through humiliation like that again. Being called homophobic slurs by the guy you liked, even though he didn't like Finn in that way anymore, was something Kurt knew he'd never forget. Besides, why would Blaine want to settle for someone like him; who looked more like a girl than a boy, had a voice to match and had the baggage of public school bullying? Kurt knew Blaine wasn't the type to make fun of him and he just hoped that out of all of this he could at least gain a new friend, even if he was crushing on him having Blaine as a friend seemed a much better option than nothing at all.
"Maybe at least one good thing will come out of this holiday; with Brittany spending the morning in our room crying, Santana throwing things at whoever disturbs her from her grouchy hangover and Rachel god knows where. I just hope it all works out" Mercedes said quietly. They both grew more sombre at that; the sound of Brittany begging to be let back into her and Santana's room only to be met with a cold silence echoed in both of their minds.
"I'm gonna go buy her some more tissues. I'll come find you later okay?" Kurt nodded in reply and his friend, scooping up her handbag and phone, left.
Sighing as the familiar sense of gloom settled in his stomach Kurt looked around the breakfast hall, curious as to who the other hotel guests were.
A few families with young children sat in clumps around the room along with several groups of teenagers Kurt guessed were celebrating the end of high school or college; they were all nursing their drinks with expressions that Kurt had grown to associate with a particularly bad hangover. Apart from that there were a few other tables filled up with young couples probably seeking romance on the beaches of Cuba, and also a few tourist types who were reading their maps and brochures of the country as they ate their breakfast.
And then there was Blaine.
Standing in the queue to get his food Blaine looked a lot more dishevelled than last night; his helmet of gel had a few loose curls trying to escape and his face looked a lot less cheerful and more drawn than last night.
Kurt felt his heart sink slightly at the sight of the clearly depressed Warbler, but as Blaine turned around and saw Kurt staring at him a smile spread across his face. It was a tired smile but Kurt didn't care; all he knew was that he had a feeling that whenever Blaine was upset terrible things would happen. And, truthfully, that feeling scared the hell out of him.
"Is this seat taken?" Kurt looked up from where he'd been staring at the tabletop to see Blaine standing in front of him, gesturing at the seat Mercedes had just vacated with a small smile on his face and a bowl of cereal in his hands.
As soon as Kurt shook his head the Warbler's smile widened slightly and he sat down opposite him.
"So how's your morning been? Any new drama llamas?" Blaine asked, a teasing glint in his hazel eyes.
""Drama llamas"? Really Blaine?" Kurt snorted. Blaine shrugged in response as he chewed on his cereal.
"Well what word would you use for this little drama surrounding our two friendship groups?"
Kurt thought about it for a while before replying wryly, "Exactly that: drama. Which just so happens to be what I came on this holiday to get away from; so it seems that plan has failed miserably"
"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked. His initial smile was now replaced with a look of such deep concern Kurt found himself blushing and avoiding the boy's gaze; it was nice that Blaine apparently cared about him but, to be honest, he couldn't really think why. Kurt didn't think he was particularly special or worthy of someone like Blaine's attention but, then again, that was probably just his low self-confidence talking. The only things Kurt had ever had confidence in had been in his fashion sense and singing but since he'd came to McKinley it seemed the very things that he was proud of were the things he was getting beat up for. That and the fact that he was, to most people's eyes, quite obviously gay of course. In Lima Ohio; god forbid that.
Deep down Kurt knew that he wasn't any less of a person just because he was gay, but being bullied for years really does something to your self-esteem and the way you think about yourself; even if you know you're not in the wrong or that you're not ashamed of who you are, it's hard to realise and express that.
"No thank you; but maybe later" Kurt said timidly, hoping Blaine understood that while he was grateful for the concern opening up to people was something Kurt found extremely difficult.
"Of course" Blaine smiled gently at Kurt but, as he opened his mouth to say something, his phone gave a loud beep from his pocket. Shooting an apologetic glance at Kurt, he took out his phone and read the text on it, now frowning slightly.
"Wes says Nick wants to talk to me so I should probably go; but I'll talk to you later, okay?" Blaine said as he reluctantly got up; if truth be told he'd rather spend more time with Kurt than talk to Nick, but Nick was his friend and he knew he'd be a very shitty friend if he didn't go try and help him with whatever his problem was.
"Sure, that's fine. Goodbye Blaine" Kurt smiled at him, ignoring the disappointment he felt that Blaine was leaving so soon. So, with a quick wave and smile, Blaine left, leaving Kurt by himself again.
Kurt slumped back in his chair, sighed and took a sip of his now cold coffee. Why did life have to be so complicated?
"Where were you?" Wes asked in quiet voice as Blaine walked up to where he was standing outside one of the hotel room doors.
"Having breakfast with Kurt" Blaine replied, his expression softening at the thought of the boy. "Did you find out what's up with Nick?"
"No" There was a pause before Wes elaborated. "I mean, I could guess but I don't think I'm going to ask; he's already angry enough without me unintentionally provoking him"
Blaine sighed and put a hand on his friend's shoulder "I get it; its better we let him tell us in his own time. So, has anything else happened up here? No fist fights?"
Though Jeff and Nick weren't violent people Nick was known to have quite a short temper so Blaine thought he should just check. If it turned out the couple had had a brawl Blaine honestly had no idea what he'd do; they were both two of his best friends in equal measure; Jeff had been one of his first friends at Dalton and welcomed him with opened arms which, after what happened at his last school, Blaine was grateful for beyond words, but Nick was the first person to actual get what Blaine had gone and was going through having been through similar things himself. Blaine had never liked choosing sides during games; he was the one who'd go offer to go get everyone snacks so he didn't have to get involved, but it seemed this time he was going to have to.
Wes shook his head. "Except for, as far as I can tell from David's texts, Jeff's stopping crying and is now binge-eating peanuts from one of the mini fridges, I'd have to say no. Nick's not so much crying as throwing things. It's taken all my energy to persuade him vandalising a hotel room is not going to solve his love life" That was when Blaine noticed how tired Wes looked; dark circles were under his eyes and he was leaning against a wall as if he didn't have enough strength to stand properly.
"Hey, did you get any sleep last night?" Blaine asked, worried.
"How could I when Nick was yelling through most of it?" Wes raised his eyebrows but seeing Blaine's concern his expression softened and he smiled. "Don't worry Blainers; I'm not going to keel over or anything. I could do with a nap though"
"Why don't you go try and get some sleep in my room while I talk to Nick? I can come wake you if he or Jeff or David wants to talk to you" Blaine offered.
"Are you sure? I don't want to feel guilty because Nick injures you with a vase of flowers and I'm not there to stop him"
"I'd rather get hit with a vase than having David hit me over the head later because you've collapsed due to lack of sleep! Now go, I insist" Blaine said firmly, pushing his room key into Wes's reluctant hand.
"Well if you insist" Wes smiled. "But really, thank you. Please let me know if Nick breaks anything else or even if he's threatening it; I know you two are good friends but I'd rather he yell at me over you"
"It's okay Wes, I can handle it. Now go get some sleep; you look dead on your feet"
With a last grateful smile at Blaine, Wes stumbled off down the corridor – in Blaine's eyes – much in a very zombie-like manner.
The remaining Warbler stayed standing in the corridor for another minute as he considered what Nick wanted to talk to him about; probably Jeff. But why he wanted to talk to Blaine was beyond him; out of all the boys he had the worst luck and knowledge of love and they all knew that. Nonetheless Blaine prepared himself to console his friend over his maybe-breakup/fight and maybe try and find out the cause of it, if Nick didn't blow up at the question that is.
"Blaine? Is that you?" Nick poked his head around Wes and David's hotel room door. On first glance Blaine could see that his friend, though his eyes still blazed with anger, mostly just looked resentful of anything and everyone. Also, his expression was blank in the way Blaine recognised that Nick was currently feeling very guarded, a feeling Blaine knew very well.
Seeing that the person standing in the hallway was in fact Blaine, Nick opened the door fully so he could come inside. Blaine entered the room and chose not to comment on the thrown cushions, several pieces of toppled furniture and a few broken glasses; he didn't want Nick to get angry at him, after all. However, apparently his staring didn't go unnoticed.
"I promised Wes I'd pay for the damage, so don't worry about it" Nick said, moving further into the room.
Blaine nodded and, feeling slightly relieved, proceeded to discuss the reason why he was there. "Wes texted me and told me you wanted to talk to me. Listen, about last night-" he started to speak but Nick held up a hand to stop him.
Running a hand through his dishevelled hair, he shook his head and slumped down into an armchair. He sighed.
"I didn't ask you to come here to cry or yell, Blaine" Nick said wearily.
Blaine blinked at him, not certain where this was going.
"Why did you want to talk to me then?" He asked, sitting down in the armchair opposite Nick.
"You like Kurt" Nick said bluntly.
Instantly Blaine felt heat rush to his face as he stared at the ground, embarrassment being the forefront emotion in his mind. How could Nick know? Was he being that obvious? Oh God, Kurt knew too didn't he? Blaine mentally slapped himself in the face; there was no way someone like Kurt liked him, but... but last night he was being rather friendly, some might say flirty-
No. Don't get your hopes up he told himself furiously. Not after last time.
"H-how could you tell?" Blaine whispered.
Nick rolled his eyes but a small smile played at his lips, the first one Blaine had seen on him in a long time.
"You're not that subtle Blainers; you're so coy around him it's like you're a freaking puppy" As if he could read his mind Nick quickly added "But he seems almost as oblivious as you; I doubt he's picked up on it"
Blaine nodded and took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. It wasn't that he had a problem with himself liking guys and being gay – far from it, he was out and proud; he'd been through too much shit to come out not to be – it was dealing with those feelings that he had a problem with; how to know if someone liked him back, dating etc; all of that was alien to him after his one failed relationship (if you could even call it that) last year.
"So why do you want to talk about that?" Blaine asked.
Nick shifted in his seat, suddenly looking rather uncomfortable. "You know I'd be happy for you Blaine, if you found someone again and started dating, but..."
"But what?" Blaine felt his stomach start to drop and he knew some bomb of some kind was about to be dropped, and not the nice surprise kind; the evil, hope dashing kind.
"But the main reason I got into a fight with Jeff is because I have good reason to believe he likes Kurt. I'm sorry Blaine" Nick said sadly.
Don't get your hopes up, not like last time was all Blaine could feel echo throughout his mind. He knew this would happen; after last year how could it not?
Blaine bowed over, his head in his hands as he stared at the ground. He wasn't going to cry, he wasn't. Not over some guy he hardly knew, no matter how amazing that guy was. He wasn't going to cry.
"Blaine-" Nick started but Blaine shook his head, his eyes tightly closed.
"I should go" He croaked. He got to his feet, unable to look Nick in the eye, and fled from the room without another word.
"Brit honey? I found more tissues" Mercedes said gently to the dark hotel room she stepped into. All that could be seen of said girl was a curled up lump, sniffling under the covers on the bed closest the balcony. Kurt was sat next to her, murmuring quietly as he held her hand. He looked up at Mercedes's entrance and smiled weakly at his friend. Although the two of them weren't to their knowledge particularly involved in their friends' drama seeing people they cared about heartbroken definitely affected them. It was like being at a funeral of a person didn't know very well; you were sad because everyone else was and your heart grew heavy because it was impossible to be happy in such a situation.
"How's she holding up?" Mercedes asked quietly as she set the tissues down on the nightstand.
"About the same. The whimpering has stopped though if that's anything" Kurt replied in just as quiet a voice so Brittany wouldn't think they were talking about her and get even more upset.
"Brittany?" Mercedes said, sitting down next to Kurt. A quiet moan sounded from inside the blanket cocoon to show Brittany had heard her.
"I know you're upset Brit but what'd you think about trying to eat something? We're all really worried about you" Mercedes comfortingly rubbed the outline of Brittany's arm as she spoke.
"Santana isn't" The Brittany lump mumbled. Kurt and Mercedes exchanged worried glances, not sure what to say to that.
"I'm sure she does honey, she just probably needs a bit of space at the moment" Kurt finally said, choosing his words carefully, but apparently not carefully enough.
"Do you think I've been too clingy then? I've gone at her pace, I've been fine keeping our sweet lady kisses a secret from our family and pretty much everyone; I haven't tried to pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do. What've I done wrong?" Brittany suddenly burst out.
Her head appeared from the mass of blankets, bleary and red-eyed, dried makeup staining her face and her hair a tangled mess. Kurt felt even sadder at seeing the state his friend was in instead of just hearing it and he wished to do nothing more than to persuade Brittany to wash and then settle down in front of the TV but it seemed Brittany wasn't done talking.
"Sanny hates me! I just, I don't know what I did to make her storm off like that. Unicorns are meant to be happy together, not get mad at each other" She said heartbrokenly.
"Brit honey it might've had nothing to do with you; she saw two girls kissing in public, openly and unashamedly and she might just be resenting the fact she can't do that with you. Even if that's not the reason she's mad I'll bet everything designer I own that she could never hate you. You're Brittana; to hate each other would be a crime against nature!" Kurt said the last bit in an attempt at a light voice but it came out more weak than anything. Believing his own words was one thing but attempting to get a heartbroken person to believe them was another.
"You think?" Brittany said unsurely, the stem of tears halting for a moment as she considered Kurt's words.
"Absolutely" Kurt said confidently. "Now why don't you get yourself cleaned up because, although you're a beautiful person inside and out, I must say you smell something frightening right now and then we'll go sunbathe by the pool, okay?"
"But what if she's there?" Brittany asked.
"Then we will walk past her and when she's prepared to come and apologise to you she can come find you. Don't you dare apologise when you've done absolutely nothing wrong" Mercedes said firmly. "That sound good to you?"
Brittany stared into space for a moment, biting her lip thoughtfully, before sitting up properly and nodding at the two with a wan smile.
"Yeah, I'll try it. Thanks guys you're made of rainbow awesomeness!"
Kurt smiled back as the Brittany he knew and loved reappeared through the mask of gloom.
"No problem Brit. Now go have a shower and stuff and we'll meet you by the pool in about an hour" Mercedes said. She and Kurt gave Brittany a hug each before they left the girl, both feeling distinctly more hopeful leaving the room than they had when they had entered.
As the pair stepped out into the hallway, however, they were greeted by the sound of Santana shouting. Kurt could see Rachel being shoved out of Santana and (what was) Brittany's room and she looked quite angry herself.
"Fuck off hobbit! When will you get it through that big-ass head of yours that I don't want to talk about my feelings?" The yell came from inside the room so Kurt couldn't see Santana but by Rachel's distressed reaction to her words he guessed Santana was holding some form of potential weapon to try and get rid of Rachel. But either Santana underestimated Rachel's stubbornness or Rachel knew Santana was unlikely to actually throw something at her.
"I will ignore your insults and repeat what I've been trying to say to you for the past ten minutes: I'm just trying to help you be honest with yourself Santana-" Rachel argued but was cut off.
"I don't need or want your help and if you try again I'll rip your beak off and shove it up your ass, so just piss off and leave me alone!" Before she could say anything else the door was slammed loudly in Rachel's face, who stood there scowling at it for a few seconds before turning and storming over to Kurt and Mercedes
"Can you believe her? The nerve! I was just trying to get her to open up about her feelings to do with Brittany" Rachel huffed.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah because trying to get Santana to talk about her feelings is going to go down so well" He said sarcastically.
"I'd like to see you try!" Rachel snapped.
As Kurt opened his mouth up to retort something Mercedes cut in.
"Hey! There's enough arguing and fighting going on without us joining in, so cut the attitudes Boo and Berry. We need to go cool off and work out what to do about this mess" Mercedes looked from one to the other sternly, until they both stopped glaring at each other and nodded in agreement with her.
"Although I hate to admit it, you're right" Rachel mumbled.
"I agree too. How about we head down to the pool while we wait for Brittany?" Kurt asked.
"That sounds good" Mercedes smiled as the atmosphere between the three became more relaxed.
"Let's go girls" Kurt grinned at them both, hooking their arms and skipping off down the corridor which made them laugh.
The trio walked down to the pool talking about anything and everything not to do with their friends' drama and fighting, because even though none of them felt particularly happy today they could at least try to be.
A/N: I wasn't too happy with the ending but I didn't know how else to finish it so... there you go. One of the things I like about this chapter though is (personally) I think Nick seems like less of an ass (He's not an ass, not really, he's just acting rather ass-like at times in this fanfic at this moment in time) So yay for that :)
Please review with any constructive criticism, ideas, anything you'd like me to include, questions or whatever. Basically, I like reviews. Even though I'm a terrible updater-regularly-person (*Hangs head in shame*) I still love and appreciate reviews. And, you never know, they might help inspire me to write more...
Either way, thank you very much for reading and I'm still incredibly sorry about the stupidly long wait!
Next chapter: More clusterfuck of confusion of who-likes-who and why-did-this-person-blow-up-at-this-person and MAYBE a song from a Warbler who wants answers and more time to shine.
Byeeeeee :)