Hi! So I'm really excited to post this 'cause this is the most effortless chapter I've written so far and it also turned out to be my favorite. I really hope you guys like it and would love to hear your opinions and predictions!

Also, from this point forward quite some things will probably change from cannon, as though I'm generally going episode by episode and writing something related to it, the ones that follow are sort of related to Mckenna –who the Oliver of this story didn't date– and then to Laurel, who is only spoken for in the past.

Anyway, I leave you to read. Again, thank you for the ongoing support to me and to this story. It truly means a lot :)

EDIT: Please read the note at the end of the chapter, it's pretty important.

UNAPOLOGIZE

There's no time to be

Holding it all and trying to pretend

That I don't feel anything

They found a comfortable rhythm with time.

After the whole Dodger incident and Oliver's and Felicity's initial fight they reached a new normal. Oliver still patrolled or hunted targets every night, with Diggle standing as back-up and Felicity being his guide through the comm. Her soothing voice gave him comfort and talked him down quite a few times when his temper and deadly instinct took over.

Sometimes he ended up taking a kill shot, when he saw it fitting, and was met with her disapproving glare when he came back to the foundry. He stopped apologizing for it, instead tried to get better at controlling his impulses, hanging onto the hope she had that he was worth saving.

Oliver had long ago come to terms with the fact he was a killer, when it was necessary. Hardship in the island had taught him to deal with evil that way, that being the only possible way out. Then along came Felicity, willing to convince him to take another road, believing there was more to him than simply killing and far more good to be done as the vigilante than stacking casualties in the silent war going on.

Felicity had changed as well.

They'd all agreed it would be best for her to have some tools to defend herself, lest she found herself in a threatening situation again. An unspoken agreement led to Diggle being the one to give her self-defense lessons; something both Felicity and Oliver were more than grateful for. Neither was ready for being that close, afraid of the consequences. Diggle simply hoped they would deal with it already so the underlying tension in the room would fade away.

He and Felicity had gotten quite close over time.

Oliver had plenty to deal with family-wise after being gone for so long, his relationship with his sister especially needing patching-up. Diggle and Felicity on the other hand had a simpler personal life. Neither had many friends or family and, as unlike as they'd appear at plain view, had plenty in common.

So sparring as part of her training evolved into sharing Chinese take-out at nights while she ran searches, which prompted to them sharing stories about how they got there.

He told her how he met Oliver –'He was full of bull-shit and I wasn't having any of it', he'd shared– and the way he'd found out about his secret identity. She in turn offered, though devoid of details, when she'd first encountered their mutual friend –'He was full of shit too, but didn't try to hide it then' she'd revealed–.

It was funny how their stories converged: Diggle finding out Oliver's secret saved his life; in turn Felicity's discovery led to saving Oliver's life.

Through Diggle's eyes she could understand slightly better where Oliver was coming from, having gone through a battle of his own in the island, though that part of him neither knew much of. He was damaged, that was known, but how he'd gotten that way, from the man she'd once known, was still a mystery. And if there was something Felicity Smoak couldn't stand were unsolved ones.

Yet she knew he needed to be the first one to take that step. As much as she wanted to know, the pain that thinking about that time brought him was all too clear. She just hoped he would trust her enough to share that side of him as well sometime.

It wasn't easy juggling all the moving parts of his life right now, especially while trying to keep some of them hidden. Trying to be the man he was for his family was turning out to be harder than he thought; even after months of being back Oliver hadn't found the perfect balance. More often than not Thea was angry at him, and his distant relationship with Moira only worsened as he still suspected of her being involved with what was terrorizing the city.

The only one that seemed truly pleased with having Oliver back, changed and all, was Tommy.

His best friend opened his arms to him without hesitation as they met for his birthday at their favorite restaurant. Though Tommy wasn't blind as far as his new personality was concerned, he accepted it without reservations. Granted, there were quite a few jokes thrown regarding how serious and chaste Oliver had gotten, hardly ever going out at nights anymore –at least in the way Tommy expected him to–; yet he never complained or accused him of being distant, instead giving him his space.

Having settled into their table their conversation turned from his complicated relationship with Felicity –which Oliver promptly deviated from much to Tommy's dislike– to their fathers. His best friend shared the on-going battle to maintain a somewhat decent relationship with Malcolm, to which Oliver offered his take on the matter, though vague sharing about his relationship with his own father. It hurt and brought unwanted memories back, but giving Tommy a shoulder to lean on held as much meaning for him as it did for Oliver.

"I'm really happy that you're back" had been his honest words, the ones that made him the happiest he'd been in a while.

More than ever Oliver was thankful for Tommy's presence in his life. He even took up the lead in Oliver's project in the Glades.

"Everything's almost ready for the opening next week. Vendors are on board and the crowd is already buzzing about it. Thea sure was helpful, you should thank her."

"Speedy?"

"Oh, she hates that nickname!" Tommy laughed at the innocent tone his best friend always used to address her. "She's grown up a lot, you know."

"I've noticed. Apparently she knows about clubs now."

"Yeah, but can you blame her? We were way worse at that age, and without the abysmal baggage she's had on her plate." At Oliver's guilty expression he turned serious. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to–".

"It's okay, Tommy" he reassured. "I actually wanted to thank you, for looking over her. I've seen you have gotten close. You were there for her when I couldn't be. There's no way for me to thank you enough."

"No thank needed, man." Tommy's words were heartfelt, still there an apologetic look on his face that Oliver didn't miss.

"What?"

"Oh, you're not gonna like this."

"They dated!" Oliver shouted from behind the bar. "He dated my sister!"

That's how Felicity had found him upon entering the foundry. He was pacing back and forth moving things around aimlessly and mumbling incoherently, visibly upset.

'Who?' she'd asked, to what a strained 'Tommy' had left his lips. 'Oh' had been her simple response, as it sunk it. Five minutes later and he was still repeating the words, trying to make sense of them.

"Ok, it isn't that bad." At Oliver's confused expression she clarified. "Well, they could still be dating."

"Not helping, Felicity."

"Sorry."

Felicity paced at the other side of the bar. The main floor of the foundry was still in preparation for the opening, a slew of boxes scattered on the side and only a few lights shone where they stood.

"So what exactly did he say?"

"That they'd gotten close after I… went away. It was part of their grieving process apparently, leaning on each other. He said it only grew to something more when she got back from boarding school this year; as if that made it better."

"Well, she was almost legal then…" she argued and was met with another scowl. "Look, Oliver, I know this is not ideal for you, but it isn't that bad. I mean, who do you trust the most, especially with Thea?" She paused waiting for him to object as he'd been doing so far; when he didn't she went on. "You said it yourself; you were thankful he had her back all this time, that he was there for her."

"I did. I do… just not like that."

She breathed in deeply; he wasn't the easiest person to argue with. She understood though, she was every bit as stubborn as he was.

"A lot happened to them in five years, as it did to all of us." She caught his eye, urging him to understand the meaning behind those words. He tensed just at the memories evoked by her words; the five years he'd been away flashing before his eyes. "And just as we respect you don't wanting to talk about them, you shouldn't bite his head off for sharing his."

He mulled over her words; he wasn't being fair but he didn't see straight when it came to Thea, he never could.

"Thea's grown up; Tommy has too apparently if he had a relationship, even if it didn't work out."

"Yeah. He said it got too hard; that with time they realized they were better off as friends. They both had things to figure out, different ways of dealing with the pain." Oliver's voice trailed off remembering Tommy's honesty.

"See? It's in the past, and they seem to be okay now, as you've told me before. Besides, you jumping at Thea's neck over this won't help with your relationship right now", she added, after having seen Oliver's frustration over his failed attempts in reaching out to his sister.

"Yes, she's not little Speedy anymore… A lot has changed here in these years." His voice was even now and he'd stopped pacing as she'd calmed him down. Though she was still figuring out how to get through to him Felicity smiled at this small victory.

"It sure has. Look at you. I swear now that I know about your night persona I can barely recognize that guy from the bar."

He smiled at the memory, this one being more welcomed than the island ones.

"Seems like a lifetime ago" he admitted meeting her eye again.

"Yeah. Can't say I miss the hair though."

"What?" He sounded slightly surprised but joined in her laughter.

"You had to admit, it wasn't your best look. And what about all those skinny scarves you used to wear?"

"Hey, you didn't seem to mind back then." He pitched in between laughs. Her breathing slowed down as their eyes locked and she realized they were boarding their past relationship for the first time in a while.

"I really didn't."

Oliver studied her across the room as a pregnant pause fell over the room, his anger at his best friend forgotten.

"You know this isn't that much of a different setup to where we met." He begun circling the bar, her eyes glued to his every move, just like they'd been back then. "You standing there, minus the drinks this time. I walked up to you across the room." And so he did, until they were only a few feet apart.

"You did. Then you leaned into my ear and whispered the most clichéd line ever."

"Well, again, it worked." He smiled at her, not the fake-Oliver-Queen smile, but the honest one that actually reached his eyes; her smile.

"Yeah; but like I said, a lot has changed." She offered, trying and failing to lighten the situation. She was in an Oliver-induced haze and there was nothing to break her away from his gaze. Memories of that night were more than welcomed; what had led her to fall for those lines was not.

His smile didn't waiver though, seeing she hadn't pushed him away and was still holding his gaze.

"I remember seeing you from afar, what draw me to you." She watched him quietly as he went on. "You were beautiful, that was obvious even though I wasn't completely sober. But it was the frown in your face, the exasperated sight you took looking around. You were in the best nightclub there was, gorgeous and being ogled by almost every men around… and you looked bored." He chuckled remembering so clearly what seemed so far away.

"And that's what sold it to you? Gee, you had weird taste, Queen." She smiled back, amused at his train of thought as well as glad to see Oliver being this carefree for the first time.

"Oliver" came his gravelly voice, deeper than before, blue eyes boring into hers.

Her lips parted at the sound, the intensity in his gaze almost too much to handle, hypnotizing and alluring. Then a breath, a pause and the distance was gone.

She didn't know if he closed the space between them or she leaned in as well, meeting him halfway. All she felt was Oliver, warm lips brushing over hers, a hand holding her face in place, his husky smell taking over her senses. A beat passed, then two before she found herself coming alive, capturing his top lip in hers and giving in, letting go of whatever held her back from him, from this moment, from this kiss.

As another hand took hold of her waist, pressing her further against his chest, his lips worked over hers, tugging, teasing and caressing, before his tongue lightly traced her lips asking for permission –as if he needed it at this point–. Felicity hand snaked around his neck, angling his face for better access while he devoured her mouth. She felt more that heard the groan he let out at the contact, the feel of him overwhelming.

It felt like a fire had been ignited. His touch burnt her skin, even through the clothing, and an indescribable warmth seeped in her at being with him like this again. His lips glided over hers with an easiness that was uncanny given their history, how long it had been since they'd done this, how much had happened.

As it used to be, they moved in sync, almost anticipating each other's moves; reaching, touching, tasting, only pulling away slightly for air, only to dive back in without hesitation. His fingers brushed her cheek with a tenderness that would've scared her had she been thinking straight. Who was she kidding? Right then she wasn't thinking at all.

She was feeling, melting in his arms, holding onto him as an uncontrollable heat washed over them. There was a sense of relief, of calm in the way he held her; almost not believing it was actually happening. He had dreamt of this time and again, longing to reach for her, feel all of her one more time.

Their pace slowed as their hearts pounded furiously and their lungs complained of lack of breath. She panted when they pulled apart, his lips meeting hers once, twice before parting reluctantly. His blue eyes fluttered open first, searching her face for any sign of her thoughts but only found the hunger that surely was reflected in his own.

She took a deep breath, willing her thoughts to unscramble from the mind-blowing kiss that had made her undone. Eyelashes rose and when she finally dared to meet his eyes he took her breath away again. Blue eyes shone with an intensity that put the one before the kiss to shame. His name died at her lips, still parted like his, swollen in the best shade of red he had ever seen.

She disentangled her hand from his hair, where she'd just been pulling from seconds ago, then leaned back in an attempt to clear her mind. He could see now as a crease appeared in her forehead that she was thinking this through.

"Felicity…" His lips caressed her name, a sigh and a whimper at the same time; half complaint for pulling away, half bracing himself for what was to come.

"No" she breathed through trembled lips taking another step backwards, the distance between them sending pain straight through him. It had felt to right, so perfect having her in his arms again.

She shook her head, eyes glued to the floor as her mind spun coming out of the haze. "No. I can't do this, not again."

A hand reached out for her, trying to steady her somehow, calming her down. Yet she flinched away, eyes meeting his for a fleeting moment, barely enough for him to see the panic swirling in them. It took a few steps before she turned around, holding onto the edge of the bar for balance.

"Felicity. Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Desperation tainted his words as a nervous hand ran over his head. She could feel him worrying even having her back to him, biting on her lower lip, still tasting him.

He started pacing, reaching for her before second-guessing himself and pulling away to process what had just happened. It had been perfect, intoxicating and addictive, even better than he remembered; because just like she had said, they weren't the same. This Oliver knew heartache and loss, unspeakable pain and anguish; thinking he'd never feel something quite like that again. And then, yet again, she had proven him wrong. Maybe the timing wasn't perfect, it never would probably, but he did know one thing: he didn't regret it in the very least.

Even if she left now, never to share something like this with him again –something so painful he didn't even want to imagine–, they'd have this moment, those minutes of pure heaven in which she had let him in and they'd felt that fire that had drawn them together time and again; five years ago and in the few months they'd shared since his return.

"You know what, that's a lie."

Felicity turned around to face him, taken aback by his conviction, a clear contrast to the hesitance and fear in his voice before. He didn't sound like the in-control Oliver she was getting used to, the one that masked his feelings for everyone's sakes.

With their eyes locked now the words left his lips with a strength and honesty he hadn't uttered in a while.

"I meant it. I have wanted to do that for years. I won't take back the way I feel about you."

Breath caught in her throat as he began walking to her, slowly closing the distance once again, blue eyes pouring into hers.

"I've spent so much time fighting to survive, to be the kind of man my parents wanted me to be, the one… Laurel expected of me. And I'm tired. I don't want to fight back anymore, not what I feel about you. I can't pretend I don't feel anything for you, because you're undeniable."

Everything he'd been keeping bottled up since they had met again burst open, pouring his heart out. In many ways those voiced thoughts were deeper that simply uttering the three little words; although he was longing to voice them for quite some time now, he held them down, knowing that for sure would send her running. Instead he watched patiently as his words sunk in, blue eyes ghosting over his face for answers and finding nothing but seriousness.

"Oliver" she breathed, failing to find a viable answer. Her mind was in crumbles.

She wanted to believe him, to let herself go and take a chance on him. But there was something holding her back, name it pride or fear of getting hurt again. Truth, the Oliver that stood before her bearing his heart wasn't the same boy that left five years ago; but how could she know he wouldn't back down on his word like he had done before; like he had done to Laurel, who he had vowed to marry?

"I'm not ready" she uttered, pain lacing her words.

Oliver stood paralyzed in his spot, battling whether to fight for her or let her be.

A deafening silence engulfed them then as her eyes found his again. "I can't" she mumbled again, letting out a shaky breath.

She took a step, then another, and before long she was rushing through the front doors, his eyes lost on where she'd stood before him. He let her go, knowing he'd pushed enough for today, maybe too much, but not really regretting it either.

They'd had come a long way from that first night that seemed like a lifetime ago, yet standing alone in the coldness of the foundry Oliver realized they still had quite a path to go through. He only wished that she would be willing to go through it with him.

Thank you for reading! So, what did you think of the kiss? Would love to read your comments and reactions.

EDIT: So it's been brought up to me, though not in the best of ways, that some people may be upset about this Tommy and Thea relationship. So I see it fitting to clarify a few things:

-In this universe, in which I've been changing canon quite a lot, they are not and will never be siblings. I didn't think it was necessary to state it beforehand since I'm following the plot of the first season so far, for which I ask the readers to suspend their beliefs of what happens in season two, since it doesn't affect this story in the very least. This story is a different take on the events of the first season and I've explored, though only in the past tense, the conexion and special bond that Thea and Tommy displayed in said season. In no way am I promoting incest!

-I get some of you may not like this relationship and it's ok, just as some people dislike olicity or other ships. I didn't mean to offend anyone writing this, and surely didn't think it would be such a big deal. I won't be exploring their romantic relationship any further, not because of this particular review but because it was never the plan. I wanted to plant the seed on their relationship, which is far beyond acquantances but no longer will be as a couple.

-Finally, all I ask is that when you express your opinions you do so in a polite manner. Please don't be intentionally hurtful and, though I appreciate your honesty, I think there are better ways of expressing one's dislike for a certain plot that attacking the writer or its morals. It goes beyond just me: we do this for fun, because we love a show, film, etc and writing, exploring the possibilites. The fact we share it with others here is putting us in a vulnerable place but also one in which you get to share it with others; and the back and forth is quite interesting and enrichening. So please, if you disagree with something, don't think a character would act that way or something similar, feel free to share it with me, I would love to talk it out. As I always say at the end of every piece I write: constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and always welcomed; being cruel in the name of being honest isn't.

That's all. I'm sorry if this bothered you, but I simply had to speak my mind since I'm hurt and angry it has come to this. Hope some of you stay with me and continue enjoying the story.

xo, Lucy