Hi!
'I'm sorry' doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this unintended break on updating this story.
Truth is I needed a break from how writing it made me feel (super angsty and pressured -self-imposed really-), focusing on my personal life (which has been quite an emotional roller-coaster with mostly down turns as of late 2014). I felt quite blocked and unhappy with what I had in plan for this story, so I focused on writing whatever I could in another front.
I'm glad to say that, though it took a long time, it worked. Coming back after months of practice and loads of reading, I feel more sure and inspired to face the last stretch of this story.

I really really really hope you like it! (if there's someone still in this journey with me, which I hope there is/are :)
Now, without further ado (read, excuses and useless explanations), thank you for your patience, and here goes the long delayed return.

WITH LOVE

You called me out and taught me tough

With love, with love.

You fought my flaws, my teeth, my claws

With love, with love.

Cause every time I'm slipping away from myself,

You're the one that moves me like nobody else.

She could see him slipping away.

The Count, a known threat that had a very special pull in Oliver's restraint, came back, and with it the apprehension and ever-present guilt Oliver had over his decisions.

Because Vertigo had hurt Thea, yet he had let the responsible party live.

Felicity and Diggle were at his side, silently reassuring his choice, helping cleanse the blood he now felt on his hands.

Through their best, facing the weight of the choices made, he made through it, holding back the urge to go back to the familiar, trained part of himself that turned to straight-out killing, eliminating the threats entirely for the sake of it being the safest choice for the mission; because as a whole he now knew it wasn't the best choice at all.

It took some stepping back, but at last Oliver could see he was not the same man that had started his crusade months before.

With a satisfied smile, Felicity left the foundry that night, feeling lighter at seeing Oliver acknowledged the change and feeling at peace with it.

Yet in the floor above, between a closed case and the exit, she found another frowning Queen.

Thea stood on the empty dance-floor, troubled eyes etched on the screen before her, where the news of the man who had over-dozed on Vertigo in the aquarium was being reported.

Seeing the shaky way she held herself, Felicity felt for her, knowing Thea was surely picturing herself in that man's place.

With careful yet noisy steps Felicity approached her, whispering a 'hi' once she turned around to greet her.

Thea flashed her a small smile that didn't quite reached her eyes but didn't scream 'I wanna be alone' either.

"You okay?," Felicity asked before she could stop herself.

Though they were far from close, the young Queen and her had crossed paths on the club a few times, exchanging polite words until Oliver showed up and they had to rush to work downstairs. Yet Felicity felt she knew her better than that, from Oliver's words and stories told years ago, and snippets of her life now shared since his return.

Judging by the warmer smile Thea gave her in reply and the lack of confusion by her intrusion, Felicity felt Thea knew more about her that she was aware as well.

"Not really, if I'm honest. Can't help thinking that could've been me, you know? What sets us apart?," she trailed off, losing back on the story; lips curved downwards and slumped posture.

Felicity sighed at the sight.

"Apparently guilt runs in the family," she mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just... If there's a lesson I keep finding myself learning is that happiness does not come from hanging onto past mistakes. We can't very well change or erase them, but we can choose to move forward and make them right. Learn from them."

Felicity paused as Thea pondered her words; and in her young features Felicity saw the understanding and determination Oliver had been showing more of with each passing day.

"Your brother is doing that, you know?"

With the mention of Oliver, Thea's clear eyes focused back on hers, a frown beginning to form on her forehead. Yet the complaint about his strangeness she once used to voice without hesitation was gone, replaced by curiosity and deep thinking.

"I see," she finally said, "it's just taking me time to get used to how he is now- who he's trying to be."

Felicity just replied with a warm smile, the silent understanding hanging around them for a while until the young Queen's lips curled up into a smirk that screamed mischief.

"It's nice to know you're the girl my brother's been pining for."

That was... definitely not what she was expecting.

"I'm-"

"I may not have seen him for a long time but I know lovesick when I see it."

Speechless for once, and blushing at Thea's inquisitive look, Felicity settled for smiling.

"It's fine, more than fine actually," Thea finally said, chuckling as Felicity exhaled in relief. "Really, I see now what you saw about Ollie. How he's trying. And I'm sure it has to do with having you in his life as well, so I wanted to say thank you."

"He's helped me too," Felicity limited to say, knowing Thea would fight her if she argued her on it.

"I'm glad. About all of it," she added placing a hand to her arm, smiles lingering for a few meaningful moments before mirth took over her tone again. "And as we're both in the business of helping Ollie, how do you feel about getting him up to speed on pop culture with me? 'Cause so far it's been a lost on my front. The other day he asked about Fall Out Boy still being cool."

Silence gave way to their amused laugher, playful conversation taking place at Oliver's expense. Seeing how carefree and light Thea seemed now as they planned on updating his phone's playlist -for all of their sakes-, Felicity felt at peace and with a newfound admiration for the younger Queen.

Being a fighter apparently also run in their blood.

A week later and Team Arrow was down a partner.

It all started with a case strangely prompted by Tommy.

The silent partner, apart from helping to cover up their operations from a blood-hound Detective Lance and running the front of their Arrow cave -as Felicity and him warmly named it, much to Oliver's chagrin-, did charity work linked with Child Services.

After his mother's death, losing his father by distance and his best friends in a ship-wreck, Tommy had found the cause and felt it close to his heart. Laurel's empathy and care for the people and achieving justice had resonated with him, especially when the void of her presence dug a deeper hole in his chest by the years.

(Oliver refrained from asking further about it, but it became clear with each passing talk that his best friend had been heart-broken more than just lost. He didn't blame him for it one bit; more like he blamed himself for not having noticed it before and pulled them all out of their misery.)

And though Tommy's involvement was usually monetary, the case of a newly-orphaned little boy -much like he had been-, became personal.

Likewise, Dig found himself battling with his demons in the form of his brother's elusive killer.

And Oliver was stuck in the middle.

Stating priorities, assessing danger he was familiar with; as well as with the bitter taste of not being good enough.

As his brother in arms walked away that night feeling betrayed, he couldn't find it in himself to take it back, falling into the familiar feel of defeat and guilt that came with it.

"So how much longer until you pull your pretty head out of your you-know-what and talk to Dig?"

Felicity's voice was laced with humor yet serious, if the pressing on the wound on his arm was any indication.

"We would all be better back to normal; less silence, sulking and bruising, I'm sure," she went on when Oliver just grunted in reply.

"I made a choice helping Tommy; he disagreed. Everyone's free to walk away from this whenever they want, you know that. So did Dig, and he took that out."

Sighing in complaint, Felicity carefully finished the stitching before facing him again.

"Oliver, it's not like that anymore. You can't keep acting as if this is just you now," she argued, signaling the almost empty place around them.

"You chose to let us in, help, share the burden and the task; and before you try to apologize, just don't. 'Cause we chose to stay as well. And yes, there are disagreements, just as we had. But you didn't give up on me."

She paused as their eyes met, just then realizing somehow her hand had found her way to his face, fingers gently caressing his jaw, the sharp lines then the softness of his cheeks.

"That's different," Oliver whispered with a pointed look.

"No, it's not. John is your partner too, and deserves an apology as well; chocolate based or not," she finished with an upturn of her lips.

He breathed out in defeat, mulling her words and relishing her touch, the one that was becoming more familiar and like home every day.

With one fallout after another, matters of life and death literally weighing on them every day, dealing with what they were now, what they could be, had to be put on the sidelines. Yet they allowed themselves small moments like that one, passing looks and gentle touches, that said without words that there was athey.

As their eyes met again that night, he leaned into her touch, letting the hands cradling his face guide his movements, until their eyes closed in content with the touch of their lips.

Not a minute of ease had gone by before a chirp pulled her away.

"Do you really have to get that?," Oliver breathed as he rested his forehead on hers, their eyes locked.

She looked apologetically over her shoulder, only to stiffen at the sight of her screens.

"Actually, I really do."

The grip on his face lessened as their eyes met again, Oliver reading the fear and seriousness in hers.

"It's Walter. I may have found an in."

He would never forget the fear of letting her go on a mission.

Of hearing her voice in his ear knowing this time she was the one in the front lines.

As he would never forget the pride at her calm demeanor despite the nerves bubbling beneath the surface. At the risks she was willing to take for Walter's sake, for the team's purpose.

Oliver knew she was in, on the journey, on the fight.

Just as he knew that he was in love with her.

Seeing her determination and kindness above all as they stood in the alleyway, he had to fight harder than ever to refrain from saying them out loud.

Instead he placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye, thankful for her smile and nod in return before facing the danger.

And then, on the other end, danger past and desolation found, he'd taken hold of her shoulder again, and puller her close and made them safe; just as she did to him every single day just by being there.

Grief was short-lived. Walter was alive.

That should've made him happy, better than the crippling uncertainty of not knowing, or knowing what he assumed to be the worst.

Yet it wasn't.

Sitting in the darkness of the foundry, silence and hollowness swallowing him once again, the long repressed dread that his mother was involved in the undertaking finally kicked in.

"Oliver..."

Felicity's whisper reached him as she carefully approached him, having rushed back upon his call.

Lights came back to life around them, yet he didn't move or sprung to action, as he would've done were this any other case.

"My mother. You and Dig were right. She's a part of this."

His voice sounded broken, disheartened.

She paused by his side, kneeling and letting a hand fall to his shoulder; the silent support they've grown to give each other.

"I'm sorry," were her gentle words whispered before she got to work.

Anger and hurt followed, pouring out of him one strike at the time, until every guard was down and Walter was freed.

Then Oliver carefully tucked those emotions back, deep into his chest, where his sister and mother wouldn't feel them, at least for that night.

Betrayal and sorrow pulled at his heart at the sight of his mother, rushing to her husband's side, while secretly causing the wrongs Oliver had been fighting to right.

He was startled as a hand took hold of his left one, halting the anxious rubbing of his arrow fingers.

"Hey," Felicity breathed bringing him to her. "Tomorrow," she simply whispered as their eyes met, smiling up at him and leading them into the room to welcome her friend home.

Her fingers were slipping from his hold as they approached his family's side, surely to avoid the questions, yet Oliver felt not only the need but the want to hold on.

Hold on to her strength, to her faith and warmth; to the idea of a tomorrow instead of drowning on the yesterdays, as they'd both been for far too long.

Her once curious look at his pull on her hand turned into a smile of acknowledgment and support, fully enclosing his again as he finally lead them inside.

To Walter's side and Thea's smile of welcome. And to Moira's look of confusion at their joined hands, that was promptly overshadowed by Oliver's soft caress on the back of her hand.

Thank you so much for reading!

I'm aware this is an odd chapter in comparison, a little bit rushed, and not full of the expected olicity; but it was necessary to deal with what happens in those episodes in between and what comes ahead. And, though the focus isn't exactly on them full time, there's a lot of growth and individual realisations happening :)
I promise (and lightly tease) that next chapter is full of olicity goodness and the long awaited serious talk about their relationship.

Another thing I'd like to announce is that, as I've stated beforehand, this story is a season one re-write following my made-up pre-island events, so this fic will end with the events of the season finale. That means just two more chapters (already fully planned, and in the writing stage, yay!). I'm doing my best to attack those while I'm still in a good-writing zone and, though by now I've learnt not to make promises on update schedules, I'll try my hardest to not delay publishing like before.

Now last but definitely not least... actually, it's the most important thing in these never-ending notes: THANK YOU! For sticking with me even through update withdrawal. For your words of encouragement through reviews, adding to favourites and follows, tumblr messages and such. They mean a lot more than I could possibly say.
If anyone's still here with me, I'd love more than anything to hear from you :)

xo, Lucy