~Andy~

I could still taste Jinxx on my lips. All I could think about was him, and how much I fucking love him. No one could ever compare to him. No one would understand the passion I feel for that man. I just can't help but feel this way... His eyes, his face, his hair, his voice, his everything. It was all perfect.

I was sitting on the floor, trembling for an unknown reason. Maybe it was fear. Fear for losing someone I never had. Or it could have been excitement, that I finally got close enough to touch him, to kiss his sweet lips.

Knowing that I couldn't achieve anything while being sprawled across the floor like this made me get up, leave my comfort zone behind and join the others in watching TV. Batman came on and I shrieked in excitement.

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na Batman!" I sang along like the little child that I still was at heart. The show began and everyone fell silent.

Once it was over, Christian suggested that we all go out and get wasted.

"Let me just fix my make up, you lot head out, I'll catch up with you in a few minutes." I muttered while walking back to my room. I waited a minute until they left and unzipped my suitcase, taking out a white powder. If Jinxx didn't want me, I'd have to do this the hard way. I will drug him with ketamine.

Looking in the mirror to check if my make up was actually OK, I slid the drug in a small bag into my back pocket and walked out of the door, locking it behind me. My heart was racing by the time I arrived at the club. I slowed my pace. I was freaking out. A million questions were running through my head. What if someone notices? What if the rest of the band find out? What will Jinxx do?! Oh God, can I really do this to him?

I can. And I will.

"Hey, Andy? Come grab a drink!" Ash yelled from the bar, motioning for me to sit by him. I ordered 2 Manhattans watched as Christian playfully pulled Jake over onto the dance floor. I couldn't see Jinxx anywhere.

"Ash, where's Jinxx?" I asked.

"Oh." He sounded a little upset but quickly managed to mask it up. "I'm not sure. He came with us and then disappeared. Check over in the corners of the club, he usually hits on girls there." He grinned and walked towards Christian and Jake. I payed the bartender and grabbed the drinks. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest. I was so nervous! Then I noticed him, sitting at the corner table, crying.

"Miles..." I gasped. He quickly turned around and wiped his face.

"Oh. It's you." He said with a hint of disapproval.

"I... I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if you were OK, but I can see you're not, so don't even bother trying to avoid this. You have to tell me what's wrong. Please, Miles." Placing our drinks on the table, I sat down next to him. I gently wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. He tried to push me away but I held him tightly. Soon, he gave up and cried into my chest. "Take your time." I whispered, soothingly, into his ear. He soon calmed enough to talk.

"I just... I-" He began to sob quietly again.

"It's okay, you can tell me anything sweetheart, take your time." I murmured. He pulled away, wiped his eyes and looked at me strange, but I looked down, embarrassed. He quickly shook it off and said, quietly, "I'm in love with Christian, I have an eating disorder and severe depression. I also suffer from suicidal thoughts and self hatred."

"Oh-" I choked on my words. My sweet love is going through so much and I never realized. I felt a silent tear slide down my cheek. We sat there, hugging each other and crying, for what seemed like forever. I realized that I can't do this to him, not now, anyway.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, I noticed that club was half empty. "Miles?" I whispered and looked down to see him curled up on my thighs and chest. He looked so adorable!

"Aww thanks, Dennis!" He giggled and I looked shocked. (We call each other by our middle names.) Did I... I didn't just say that out loud did I? "Wh- what?" I stammered.

"You said I look adorable." He sat up and reached for his drink. I was so glad I didn't get a chance to put anything in it.

"Oh shit! I didn't mean to say that out loud, but hey, now you know that I love you." I smiled. He chuckled and sipped his drink. When we finished them, I asked, "Do you want to head back to the bus and get some sleep? We've got our first gig on this tour tomorrow."

"Sure, should we tell the rest?" I looked over at the dance floor where Jake, Christian and Ashley were dancing and laughing, obviously drunk, and shook my head.

"They'll have to manage getting back by themselves." I smirked and stood up.