~Jinxx~

We were into our third week on tour now and I've barely eaten anything. No one has noticed, it's not like anyone would care, anyway. Even Andy. He said 'he cares' but it's obvious he'd rather spend time with the others. If he did care, he'd notice that I haven't ate anything for three days. The only thing I ate before that was an apple. And that was the only thing for a week. I feel like I might faint at any moment, I feel extremely dizzy, and my vision is blurred. To be honest, I don't think anyone would notice if I slowly died of starvation, I could just curl up somewhere and rot away. Honestly, I feel so fucking alone, fat and ugly that I don't even want to go out of the bus! I do need help, I know that, but I don't WANT any, I just want to die.

"No one cares about you anyway. You're fucking worthless. Kill yourself already you fat cunt!" The voices in my head were back to torture me, making me feel even worse. I was alone on the bus now -the others went shopping- so I decided to throw up whatever I had left in my body.

"Am I any better now?" I screamed through the bus after I was done.

"You'll never be good enough for ANYONE!" My mind told me and laughed at my failed attempts at trying to make myself become somewhat better looking. I hated this, I hated myself more than anything! Why did I have to be such a worthless coward?

Suddenly, a new wave of unsteadiness shot through my body and I collapsed on the cold, tiled bathroom floor and blacked out.

~Andy~
"It's okay guys, I'll just jog back to the bus and grab some money, I'll be 20 minutes or so." I told them as I turned to walk to the tour bus. I had forgotten my money and I didn't want to accept their offers of paying for my things. I might as well check on Jinxx. He seemed very distant this morning... I was worried about him. I didn't want to pressurize him in to talking to me though. Something was seriously wrong and I knew it - I just didn't know how to help him. A few moments later I arrived by the tour bus. After retrieving my set of keys from my jeans pocket, I let myself in. Everything was silent and still.

"Miles?" I called out, somewhat unsure of what I was expecting.

No reply.

"Miles are you okay?" I tried again.

No reply.

I crept through the bus, looking into every room until I came to the bathroom. The door was locked.

"Miles." I said while softly knocking on the door. "Are you in there?" There was still no reply so I decided to try opening the door with my credit card. There was something blocking it. Moving back, I prepared to throw myself against the door in order to break it down. It worked. I burst in and saw Jinxx curled up on the floor.

"Jeremy Miles Ferguson what have you done?" I whispered in both shock and horror. I rushed to his side and checked his pulse. It was weak and faint, but it was there. He was alive.

Trying my best to hold back the tears which were trying to fall from my eyes, I took my phone out of my pocket and called for an ambulance.

"Emergency - which service do you require?"

"Ambulance. Please hurry."

"What is your emergency?"

"My... Friend. I just came back to our tour bus and he was lying on the floor, unconscious!" I told the services person the location of our bus and what I think happened. "I don't think he has eaten anything for a few days, he said he has an eating disorder before."

"How old is your friend?"

"He's 27."

"Is he breathing?"

I put my hand over his mouth to check.

"Yes. His breathing is very faint though."

"An ambulance is on it's way. Please try to stay calm."

"Please hurry..." I whispered and let my tears fall. The operator hung up. I gently held Jinxx's hand and kissed his cheek.

A few minutes later I heard sirens outside. I let go of Jinxx's hand and ran out to show them that he's in here. Immediately they appeared in the bus after me and placed Jinxx on a stretcher, carrying him outside.

"Can I go with him, please?" I begged, feeling more tears about to fall.

"Who are you to him?"

"I... Uh... I'm his boyfriend." I had to say that, I knew they wouldn't let me go with him otherwise.

"Alright." We climbed in and drove off to the hospital. The whole way there I held his hand. I was so worried about him! By the time we were nearly there I think I was shaking from all the emotions because one of the doctors was trying to calm me down. I couldn't help it though, I love him.

A few minutes later we arrived and Jinxx was carried off to the emergency room, leaving me sat in the waiting room. I kept glancing at the clock but time seemed to have stopped. I rested my elbows on my thighs and rubbed my eyes. Today's events made me emotional, leading to tears.

A while later a doctor came out, I recognized him as being the one from the ambulance.

"Is he okay? Will he get out of it?"

"I can't reveal any information right now." He said and walked past. He looked like he was rushing. Oh God, I just wish I could have prevented this. Why didn't I pay enough attention to him? This is all my fault. I just want to tell him that I'm sorry, I should have been there for him, I should have realized. I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! If he doesn't... survive this, I will hate myself forever. I live for him. He is the only one who matters in my life. I just want to know if he's okay... Is that too much to ask for?

Stupid fucking doctors. I should have said I'm his brother. His only relative. Something so they would tell me what is going on!

He is going to be okay. I know he is! He has to be! I just don't know what I'd do without my beautiful Miles.

Just then a nurse walked out of the room which they took him to and smiled at me.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"He'll be fine, he just needs some rest now. We've connected him up to a machine which will basically give him food." She smiled at me again.

"Can I see him, now?" I couldn't smile back. All my happiness vanished when I saw him lying on the ground unconscious.

"Yes, just don't pressurize him, I know this is probably hard for you as his boyfriend, but try to stay calm and help him through this, please."

I nodded and stood up. Walking to his room took a lot of courage. When I finally walked in, he was hooked up to so many different machines, his face was paler than ever. The doctors were just leaving as I sat down on the chair next to Jinxx's bed. One smiled and nodded at me as she walked out.

I softly picked up Jinxx's hand and traced my fingers along his. I looked up at his face, he was so attractive. He was perfect weight the last time I checked, but now that he starved himself he was most likely underweight. I held his hand and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Just then, he woke up. I blushed and looked down at our hands.

He looked around in shock. He hadn't noticed me yet;I hope.

"A-Andy..." He choked out.

"Are you okay?" I blushed when he said my name. His voice was so perfect and adorable...

He could barely shake his head, but I could tell he meant 'no'. He closed his eyes.

"Miles? Miles can you hear me?" The heart rate monitor slowed down a bit. Jinxx gripped my hand as tightly as he could. Was this the end?