Author's Note: The Gilmore Girls fans amongst you will maybe think that the title to this chapter sounds somewhat familiar. I have to admit that I stole a little idea from there. However, I do neither own Gilmore Girls nor Harry Potter...and don't worry this won't turn into a cross over.

Chapter 3 Bill can see her face

After Bill had left Hermione visited the Bureau more frequently again. She never spoke to anyone about what had happened between her and Bill, besides her Cousin.

As they say time is a healer and work a great distraction the pain soon decreased until all that was left was some small resentment.

Her work profited from her single status and she got promoted twice within a year. And yet she still found the time to translate "The tales of Beetle the Bard" and some other less known works from ancient runes into modern day English. If asked she would say this is what she did to relax (just like Percy recalculated his old tax returns to wind down after a stressful day at work).

Her friends, however, felt that they should help her find a suitable mate and so attempted the art of matchmaking with rather little success. They would invite her and another single male relative, friend or acquaintance. With some of them she even went on a date, with three she went on a second date and one actually made it into her bed. But the affair didn't last long.

Hermione was curled up on her sofa with a cup of tea and a book for some light reading, on a rainy November evening, when an owl tapped at her window. She didn't recognise who the bird belonged to and only when she opened the letter, did she see that it came from Bill. That was rather unexpected...

-O-O-O-

So it was his birthday and Bill was sitting all alone in his hotel room. He had cut his date with the sensual Italian woman short, preferring to be on his own. On his own now he was confronted with his thoughts. His family had sent him some presents it was Charlie's that caught his interest.

It was a selfhelp book. Attached was a note from his brother: Hey mate, it didn't actually do anything for me but maybe you'll have more luck, can't hurt give it a try. Wish you a very happy birthday. Show your ugly face for Christmas, we miss you. Charlie.

He picked up the book and inspected it further. "How to find the perfect woman: a guide to true love for men" He scoffed at that, as if he needed help. Well you haven't been awfully successful a little voice piped up in his head.

So he opened the book to chapter one which was called "Expectations" he started reading:

First we have to get rid of the ideas about how relationships should be that we got from fairy tales, love songs and romance novels. We have unrealistic expectations in regards to our relationships and partners. We expect our partners to be perfect and our relationships to be easy and full of roses and strawberries with cream. The truth is nobody is perfect, you will have to learn to deal with your partner's annoying habits and your partner with yours. You will fight you will make up, you will have to compromise. What you have to ask yourself is, is that person worth the effort?...

Yadda, yadda, yadda thought Bill, he knew as much from his parent's relationship already, so he kept browsing through the book until a chapter called "Can you see her face" caught his interest.

If you are in doubt whether you should give a relationship with a certain woman a try, or you feel attracted to several women and can't make up your mind then here are a few helpful questions. Close your eyes for a few moments after every question and wait to see whose face comes up before your inner eye.

If something particularly good happened to you, who would you want to share it with? Can you see her face?

Well thought Bill, I guess I would like to share it with my family and perhaps some close friends. But he dutifully closed his eyes.

If something bad happened to you and you felt sad, lonely, or got ill, or were in pain who would you like to take care of you? Can you see her face?

Whose floo calls, letters or visits are never unwelcome or too long? Can you see her face?

If you were to go to a party or travelling who would make this experience even more enjoyable? Can you see her face?

If you had only 24 hours left to live, who would you want to spend them with? Can you see her face?

Whoa, Bill thought. He hadn't expected that it would be Hermione's face that he would see. But shortly after this revelation he started to feel bad. He had hurt her. Whenever he saw her at the Bureau, which wasn't often, she would greet him coldly and then ignore him for the rest of the time. He hadn't dared to bring up the subject again. Maybe it was time for an apology and explanation. Well it is a little late for that don't you think? the voice in his mind said. Better late than never, he thought, he had to try, she couldn't say more than sorry not interested. It would crush him but he could move on then, and there was also the possibility, however slim, that she might give him another chance.

So he decided to write a letter to her. It took him several hours and roughly 50 pages of parchment but then it was ready and he sent it immediately before he could start to overthink it and change his mind again.

-O-O-O-

What can he possibly want, after one and a half years? Hermione thought bitterly. She went back to her couch and started reading.

Hermione,

I guess you must wonder why I would write to you now. You see first of all I've never explained myself or apologized properly to you for what happened. I hope it is not too late for that now. I am sincerely sorry for hurting you back then. I meant it when I said that you are an amazing woman Back then I was still fancying myself in love with Fleur. I've met her since and realized that it was not Fleur that I had been in love with but my idea of her. And still I've always kept my relationships with women casual, too scared that I might get hurt again. I've busied myself with work and women to not have to feel the pain and loneliness and fear.

And yet ever since I've left you, I have been thinking of you, I've tried not to and kind of succeeded until today. I've realized today that when I think about who I want to spend my happy or sad moments – my life really- with, it was your face that came up.

What I am trying to say, Hermione, is that I've been a real jerk and fool for not realizing before what you meant to me. I guess I wasn't ready back then.

It just occurred to me that I don't even know whether you are in a relationship at the moment If you are then I hope you will accept my apology and I wish you and the lucky bloke all the best.

If you are single – I hope this is not too much to ask- I would love to make it up to you. Maybe we could get to know each other again – maybe you would even go on a date with me?

Love,

Bill

Hermione wasn't sure what to think. She had buried all those feelings for him – the good and the bad- somewhere deep, deep inside of her. They all assaulted her now. She remembered how she fell in love with him, his easy smile, his charm, their talks about pretty much anything, the way he made her stomach flutter and her skin tingle in a way that no other man had before or after him. The way he had made love to her, he had worshipped her whole body she had never felt that beautiful and desired before or afterwards.

The way she had gotten lost in his eyes, or when she had been stressing over something he put things back into perspective for her again.

But then she remembered the morning after, when he stood there stuttering clearly mortified thinking it all had been a mistake. It was true they were both tipsy when it had happened, he had never declared his undying love for her. But it had hurt so bad that it seemed that she had been in this alone. And then almost nothing – besides some awkward meetings in the Bureau- for one and a half year and now this. Where was this all coming from now? Did he think she was sitting around waiting for him to decide that he did want to be with her in the end? Who did he think he was? And besides why would he want her now? She was no Fleur or any of his other beautiful floozies – oh yes she had overheard some of his talks with his brothers. Or when his brothers wistfully exclaimed how lucky Bill was to always get the prettiest women. She had been hurt too, many times, she was just as scared as he was.

Resentment and fear fought against her more tender feelings but anger seemed to have the upper hand at the moment. Hermione knew better though than deciding anything when she was this upset, she would need some time to think this over before she could come to a decision.

I should just leave him waiting, she thought bitterly. But she felt bad doing that, so she penned a short note for him.

Bill,

I don't know where this is all coming from now, but to be honest I feel too upset at the moment to make a decision. I need some time to think this over I will let you know when I've made up my mind.

Hermione

-O-O-O-

Bill was slightly disappointed when he read the note. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, maybe yes that she would be a little more forthcoming, but then again why should she.

So he just wrote a note that she should take her time and apologized again, that was all he could do for now.

Once more he dived into his work with fervour – minus the women this time, they just didn't hold the same allure anymore…