Authors Note: I'm gonna miss this! I really am! I'm also having a hard time thinking of which story on my list to do. Look at my bio and PM me on which ones you think I should work on first, the epilogue is next! NattyMc is out, PEACE! *sniff* x'(
In Between Dimensions: Last of the Drabbles
Father.
If Norm did it, why couldn't he? They were both created by him; they had the same relationship with the evil dictator. He wasn't surprised however when he got the same reaction.
"I am NOT your father!"
Perry.
Platyborg didn't know why but whenever those two boys called him Perry he always felt a twinge of sadness.
Balloony.
He threw the pin, string and the pieces of rubber into a trashcan and shut the lid. A panda sure, but there was no way he was about to be replaced by a balloon.
Rock God.
Doofenshmirtz winced at the screeching guitar notes. It sounded horrible, but in the words of Platyborg he was a 'rock god'.
Temperature.
Platyborg ran into his room and locked the door. That was the LAST time he'd ever ask Doof to check his temperature.
Best Friend.
In the cyborg's eyes they were best friends, Doof just didn't know it yet.
Coffee.
"CoffeeIsAwesome! ! WhatDoYouThinkDoof?" Platyborg said quickly and twitched.
Doofenshmirtz stared at the cyborg.
"CanIhaveSomeMoreCoffee?"
"I think it'd be best for all of us if you switched to decaf"
Mustard.
"Platyborg put that mustard down before you kill yourself!"
Eye.
"Can you tell me the REAL story of how you lost your eye?"
Doofenshmirtz sighed "Fine, I guess I'm gonna have to tell you sooner or later…well it happened on a-"
The scientist went into a full detail story about how he lost his eye, well that's what Platyborg assumed he was doing because right as the dictator started speaking all you heard was all this construction going on outside. And it blocked him out. So Platyborg just watched his lips move, hoping for the construction to stop so that he could at least hear SOME of the story. After a while Doof stopped talking and that's when the loud construction finally decided to stop.
"Did you get all that Platyborg?"
"Well actually I-"
"Good, now you know" The man smiled and walked off believing Platyborg had heard everything he said.
Can you imagine the cyborgs anger?
Love.
"I am so in love with you right now"
"What?"
"Nothin" The cyborg looked away.
Happy.
Platyborg was always happy, no matter what. The scientist thought that maybe the cyborg could teach him how one day.
Peanut Butter.
Doofenshmirtz locked the door to his room. He didn't know where the cyborg got it from but he hoped he'd never hear 'Peanut Butter' and 'time' in the same sentence ever again. Or the sight of the cyborg in a banana costume.
Earbuds.
Doofenshmirtz sighed and picked up the iPod. Platyborg left it on the table again; one day he was going to lose this thing and there was no way he was getting another one. The scientist looked around to make sure no one was looking before placing the headphones in his ears and clicking play.
It was then that he vowed off music forever.
Tired.
"Did you have a bad dream again?"
Platyborg nodded.
"Fine…I guess you could sleep in my bed"
The cyborg smiled and curled up next to the scientist. He didn't really have a bad dream at all.
He was just tired of being alone.
Hungry.
"So the Hunger Games don't have anything to do with food?"
"No Platyborg"
"Oh…here's your book back"
"What the heck did you do to it?"
"Maybe you should feed me more"
Bujeet.
Those kids seemed familiar but the cyborg decided he didn't want anything to do with them. The big one didn't look very friendly anyways.
Tutu.
Platyborg was sure he was dreaming, why the heck was Doofenshmirtz wearing a Tutu?
Butterfly.
He should have stopped the cyborg BEFORE he taped the cardboard wings on but Doofenshmirtz didn't think he'd be stupid enough to actually go through with it. Sadly he was wrong and Platyborg's dream of being a butterfly was short lived as soon as he landed in that sand paper factory.
Lassie Come Home.
"Lassie please come home!"
"Platyborg stop talking to the TV! You'll stunt your growth!"
The Sound of Music.
"You are sixteen going on seventeen! I don't know the words to this song sooooo La la la la la la la la la! Baby it's time to think!"
Vanessa laughed at the cyborgs failed attempt at singing the song "You forgot my birthday again didn't you?"
"How'd you know?"
"Platyborg you do the same thing every year and you STILL don't bother to learn the lyrics"
"I think I did pretty good"
"You did wonderful"
"I'm glad you like it"
Permanent Ink.
There was a reason all his clothes were black. It wasn't because he bought them that way; Platyborg accidently put a marker in the washing machine. Doofenshmirtz was angry at first but found that he actually liked the color. It looked WAY better than his usual white clothes. The color fit him in a way. It gave him this more evil and dark look that you couldn't look past and would never fade away. It was permanent ink after all.
Corndogs.
Doofenshmirtz was starting to think that maybe something had gone wrong when he was making the cyborg. But he wouldn't question that now, he had other questions on his mind. For instance:
Where did the cyborg get all those corndogs and how did he learn to juggle like that?
But more importantly, why the heck wasn't he sharing any with him?
Dress.
Platyborg now knew to never go into Doof's lab when he was building something. It turned out the scientist was looking for a test subject and the cyborg showed up right on cue to be shot with his Ballgown-inator. Now Platyborg had only one question.
How the heck do you get this stupid dress off?
Dance Baby/Demote/Grumpy.
Platyborg exercised along with the quirky music.
"Platyborg what are you doing?"
"Exercising"
"Along with an exercise video that plays music?"
"Yeah?"
"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard in all my years on this godforsaken earth, now shut that off before I demote you and take you apart" The dictator walked away.
The cyborg stopped dancing and raised an eyebrow.
Why was the scientist so grumpy today?
Locust.
"Ah! Locust! Locust!" The major screamed.
"Sir, I thought you were afraid of moths"
"Quiet Carl!"
Rash.
"Platyborg stop scratching! You're gonna make it worse!"
"I can't help it!" The cyborg scratched at his cone "It itches!"
"You shouldn't have fell in that Sandpaper Factory"
"You pushed me"
"No excuses!"
Q.U.A.C.K.
"It's called the Q-U-A-C-K" Doofenshmirtz pointed to each letter on the chalkboard.
"Quack?" Platyborg raised an eyebrow.
"The Quantum Universe Accessible Cellular and Kinetic Reactor"
"Quackr?"
"NO"
"What does it do?"
"In case something happens to the Cutonium inside you the Quantum Universe Accessible Cellular and Kinetic Reactor (or Q.U.A.C.K) will serve as a backup power and life source for you"
"Cool"
"I got the idea from WordNerb"
"That dudes cool, and no one is gonna want to take that source because no one knows it exists! It's fool proof"
*Somewhere else*
Rodrigo sat in the darkness; he'd get that Quack one day…
He swore on it.
Meap.
Meap monitored the galaxy in his spaceship. His nemesis had escaped from the jail and was looking for the Cutonium. Mitch had even stolen the Cute-tracker to find it; the little alien just hoped he could get to whoever had the substance before his nemesis did. As cute as the Cutonium was…things could get ugly.
Lady.
"Doof? Can I talk to you?" Platyborg walked into the scientist's office.
"Sure Platyborg, sit down"
The cyborg sat down in front of the desk.
"What's on your mind?"
"Well…I'm having…lady problems"
"…Lady problems?"
"It's Semira…she's just so…I don't know"
"Insane?"
"Yeah! And we're just not seeing eye to eye you know…I want to break up with her… but I just don't know how to break it to her…I still like her but…I just don't see a future for us"
"Look Platyborg, if she truly loves you she'll understand; and you're doing the right thing, just break it to her gently ok?"
The cyborg nodded "Thanks"
"You're welcome Platyborg"
Platyborg walked out of the office and headed to his room. There was no way he'd be able to do this in person.
Break Up.
Pborg has entered the chatroom.
SemiratheZira has entered the chatroom.
SemiratheZira: Hey babe ;)
Pborg: Hey…
SemiratheZira: What's wrong?
Pborg: Look Semira there's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna type it, I'm breaking up with you
Pborg: …
Pborg: Semira? You still there?
SemiratheZira: You're breaking up with me? :'(
Pborg: Please don't cry
SemiratheZira: Why?
Pborg: Well...you're insane and please don't take that the wrong way, we can still be friends if you want
Pborg: Semira? You're not crying again are you?
SemiratheZira: I'm coming over
Pborg: What? No! Don't come over!
SemiratheZira is offline.
Pborg: SEMIRA!
Pborg: …
Pborg: im going to die
Pborg is offline.
Relationships.
"Platyborg, how'd you get that black eye?"
"Semira came over after I broke up with her in the chatroom, she wasn't happy"
"You broke with her over chat?"
"Yeah?"
Doofenshmirtz laughed "You screwed up"
"What do you mean?"
"You never break up with a girl over chat"
"I don't?"
"No, you always have to do it in person or else it always ends badly"
"It does?"
"Why do you think that evil girl hates me so much? You know other than the whole zapped by a Hate-inator thing"
"You broke up with her over chat?"
"No, I sent a Normbot"
"Wow…"
"Yup"
"So I screwed up big time then?"
"Yes, yes you did" Doofenshmirtz walked out of the room "Sucks to be you"
"Well no one told me these things!" When he didn't get an answer he continued "I thought fathers were supposed to teach their sons these things! Some father you are!"
From down the hall you heard a distant cry of "I am NOT your father!"
Lying.
"Don't lie to me Platyborg!"
"I'm not lying! I swear I saw this little striped shirt creature thing run down the hallway! It was REALLY disturbing!"
Mindflip.
"Tada!" Platyborg pulled a quarter from behind the scientist's ear.
"How did you do that?"
"Miiindflip!"
Mind NOT flipped.
Of course Platyborg couldn't do actual magic; Doofenshmirtz always kept quarters behind his ear, just to make him happy.
Battle.
Platyborg was good in battle, like combat type battling. He couldn't win arguments though. Doofenshmirtz had the championship title for that category. No matter how much the cyborg tried to win an argument, the dictator would always win; even if Platyborg was right.
They'd be arguing and the scientist would either yell louder than him or use words the cyborg didn't understand or send him to his room (He only resorted to that if he knew he was losing). The dictator would tell him he was stupid or smack him then tell him to go to his room and Platyborg couldn't even fight back to that. The cyborg couldn't hit him back (that would be suicide) and he couldn't tell him no or call him names back (The cyborg didn't want to die yet). Doofenshmirtz would kill him if he did any of those things, so what could he do?
He really needed a better battle strategy.
Deageinator.
"Behold my Deageinator!"
"This is really getting old" Platyborg rolled his eyes from his weird film trap. Why did they have to have pretend battles anyways? The cyborg would never understand.
"And now-" Doofenshmirtz was interrupted as a beam shot out of the machine and hit him.
When he got back up Platyborg's eye widened in shock.
"Hey man, you're like totally made of metal"
Oh no…
Muffin.
Platyborg searched the fridge rapidly. There HAD to be some other types of food in there somewhere!
Smartphone.
Smartphones weren't smart at all. The cyborg threw one out the window and it wasn't even able to save itself. Sounded pretty dumb to him.
Doofenshmirtz needed to switch to a better cellphone company.
Torture.
Platyborg didn't know pain until that time Rodney was torturing him to death. But the REAL pain was him thinking about how he'd never be able to see a certain dictator ever again.
THAT was the real torture.
Temper.
Everyone knew Doofenshmirtz had a hot temper. Platyborg however, was the only one who knew how to keep it cool.
Flying.
Platyborg loved flying; feeling the wind against his face and just soaring. It was magical. He wished Doof would fly with him sometime, so he could share some of the magic.
Sleep.
Sleep never came easy for the scientist, he just couldn't sleep. He'd lie down in his bed for hours and still not get any sleep. It would be pure luck when he actually fell asleep, but the miracle would be short lived when Platyborg would come into his room and wake him up because of a nightmare. Doofenshmirtz would tell the cyborg to sleep in his bed and within seconds Platyborg was asleep again. Alt Doof however, was not.
It was just another night.
Friendship.
Pborg has entered the chatroom.
WallE has entered the chatroom.
WallE: Hey bro
Pborg: Hey…
WallE: Whats wrong?
Pborg: Look Wall.E theres no easy way to say this so I'll just type it, I don't think we should be friends anymore…
Pborg: …
Pborg: U still there?
WallE: So you're dumping me? Just like that?
Pborg: I'm sorry, we can be penpals if you want
WallE: Oh hell naw! I'm coming over there!
Pborg: What? No! Don't come over!
WallE is offline.
Pborg: DAMNIT
Pborg: why does this keep happening?
Pborg is offline.
Crude.
"What happened to your eye THIS time?" Doofenshmirtz rolled his eye.
"I told WallE we couldn't be friends anymore over chat and he wasn't happy"
The scientist face palmed "Platyborg…I thought we already had this discussion"
"You said I shouldn't dump girlfriends over chat! You said nothing about friends!"
"That's just crude, why do you want everyone to hate you?"
"Wall.E said…" Platyborg gulped "That this wasn't over and he'd have his revenge"
"Well, the sequel should be interesting then"
Naughty.
Santa checked his list twice and still came up with the same results…nice. How on earth could this be happening? I guess we'll have to find out in the sequel. Someone was being VERY naughty.
Fun.
"F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all! Right here with my friend Doofyyyy!"
"Platyborg, SHUT UP!"
Awesome Sauce.
"Take that!" Platyborg fired his water gun.
Take THIS! –Coolguyforever
A shot hit Doofenshmirtz right in the face. He pursed his lips and scowled "Is this duck sauce?"
It's awesome sauce! –Coolguyforever
"Yeah Doof! Get your facts straight!"
Music.
"Platyborg turn it down! What the heck are you listening to anyways?"
Platyborg turned off his stereo "It's dubstep"
"Dubstep?"
"Yeah, it's awesome"
"It sounds like Edward Scissor hands is scratching on a chalkboard in the deep bowels of hell"
…
Pizza.
Platyborg threw the dough up in the air, only for it not to come back down. He watched and waited.
Any second now…
Cane.
"Nice cane" Platyborg gestured to the cobra headed cane in the scientist's hand.
"Thanks I bought it at the swap meet"
"Bought it or STOLE it?"
"Bought, Stole, Same Difference!"
Humiliate.
Platyborg watched and waited.
"Platyborg what are you doing?" Doofenshmirtz asked once he walked into the kitchen.
"Making pizza"
"Oh…why're you staring at the ceiling?"
"I told you, I'm making pizza!"
"Don't you raise your voice to me! Who do you think you are? I outta-" The dough fell onto his head and everything went silent and Platyborg was pretty sure that inside the scientist, the hulk was about to burst from within and all hell was gonna break lose.
The cyborg waited in horror.
All of a sudden Coolguyforever ran into the kitchen and kicked the dictator to the ground.
That's for the autopsy thing! –Coolguyforever.
Platyborg wasn't pretty sure about anything anymore, he KNEW that they were both going to die. He started rapidly writing his will.
Pumpernickel.
"What type of bread IS that?" Platyborg asked.
"It's pumpernickel"
"There's money in it?"
Sleepy.
"Ok repeat what you just said, but SLOWLY this time" Doofenshmirtz coaxed.
Platyborg took a deep breath "I had a dream that ET and the Cheetos guy teamed up and they both tried to murder me with the Cheetos Guy's fiery breath of death"
…
"That's it I'm taking you to a therapist"
"Not again!"
Scary Movie.
Platyborg tried in vain to push the scientist from on top of him but it was no use, Doofenshmirtz held him down on the couch. The cyborg refused to look at the television.
"Stop being such a baby and watch this movie with me!"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"ET is evil!"
Remote.
Platyborg pulled the cushions off the couch and threw them.
"ET Phone home"
Where the heck was the remote?
Mansion.
DEI wasn't a luxury apartment or a mansion, but it felt like a million of those to Platyborg.
Mr. Officer Policeman Guy.
He didn't get the chance in this story, but he swore he'd get that cyborg in the sequel.
Workout.
"You could lose a few pounds"
"I'm not fat Platyborg, I'm actually underweight"
"Oh….is that a good thing?"
Gumballs.
*POP*
…
*POP*
…
*POP*
"Platyborg if you don't spit out that gum I swear I will cut your tongue out with the quarter you paid for it with"
Meddleshmirtz.
When Doofenshmirtz of the 1st Dimension found out about the death of the fellow scientist he shrugged it off as a tragedy, but when he found out it was an agent that had killed him; he was a little taken back. Two questions ran through his mind.
They can do that?
And
Would Perry the Platypus ever…?
BAD THOUGHTS! BAD THOUGHTS!
Perrable the Dragonpus.
Perry had to admit; when Doofenshmirtz called and told him to come over quickly he was worried. Now he was surprised, how did Doofenshmirtz get a book with both of their ancestors in it? And why the heck was he talking about baby platypi?
Just because their ancestors fought each other doesn't mean that their children are meant to fight each other.
And Perry already swore off having kids, he didn't want another Vanessa and Monty kind of thing going on.
THAT was just downright dreadful.
Ice Cream.
"I scream! You scream! We all scream for ice cream!"
Doofenshmirtz took the cyborgs ice cream and threw it on the ground.
…
"Waaaaaaaaah!"
Turnips.
Platyborg threw the turnips at Candace "Die!"
"I'm allergic to wild parsnips, not turnips you retard"
Video Games.
"Pleeeeeaassssse?"
"No Platyborg, I am sick of you and that Just Dance game"
"But I want it!"
"I don't care"
"But it's Just Dance 4!"
YouTube.
"RayWilliamJohnson IS god" Platyborg stared dumbfounded at his computer "It all makes sense…"
Gummy Bears.
"I'm a gummy bear! Yes I'm a gummy bear! Oh I'm a movin groovin jammin singing gummy bear! I'm a jolly funny tummy lucky gummy bear!" Platyborg sang.
The scientist just stared at the cyborg.
"Three times you can bite me!"
Stereotypical.
"Platyborg stop stereotyping yourself!"
"I can't! I'm just so predictable! And now I'm going to go to the bathroom" Platyborg started walking toward the restroom "See? I'm a stereotypical cyborg! I'm a menace to the human race! I must be destroyed!"
Sugar.
Sugar was good, it was sweet and delicious. This is why Doofenshmirtz hid it on a regular basis after he used it for anything. That didn't stop Platyborg however.
It was 2AM when Alt Doof woke up to a noise in the kitchen. He got out of bed and went into the kitchen only to find the cyborg lying dazed on the ground moaning in pain, empty bags of sugar surrounding him.
"See? This is why I HIDE the sugar"
"Th-this is your fault…if y-you wouldn't hide it th-then I wouldn't have to l-look for it" Platyborg finished with a loud hiccup.
"Alright…come on, I'll help you out" The scientist led the cyborg to his bedroom.
"Sugar is amazing…"
"Come on…."
"Doof I can't feel my blood sugar"
Herdsman.
Their relationship was strictly business; Doofenshmirtz was the Herdsman, Platyborg the cattle.
Scared.
Platyborg had never been more scared than the time he accidentally stabbed Doofenshmirtz with his tail. Blood poured out of the dictator's side and he slumped to the ground. The cyborg had said over and over again that he was sorry but he didn't respond. Soon the ambulance came and he and Vanessa spent the night in the emergency room. Platyborg kept saying over and over again "it was an accident", "it was an accident I didn't mean to do it"
Vanessa finally calmed him enough to make him go to sleep. She didn't know who to be more scared for, her dad or the cyborg in her arms. She knew her dad would be fine but Platyborg was a wreck. He'd have to go to some type of therapy for sure, he was THAT scarred.
After it was over and Doofenshmirtz came home, the cyborg didn't go near him for weeks. He was too afraid that he would hurt him again (or anyone for that matter). The cyborg started taping up his tail and wrapping it tightly with soft things like foam and pillows, they had to hold him down to get it off because he refused to take them off. Having his tail bounded like that was cutting off his circulation, lucky for them they found out in time or else they would have had to amputate it. He was really taking extreme measures to prevent it from happening again.
Platyborg had even taken to locking himself in his room, he wouldn't come out until it was late at night and everyone was sleeping to eat something; but he couldn't. Even after they had gotten him to come out of his room and be in the same room as them he wouldn't eat and he lost a lot of his body weight. This led to doctor's visits and prescriptions to make him hungry enough to actually eat something but nothing worked. Eventually they took him to a therapist and they all sat down and explained to him that it wasn't his fault and they all knew he was sorry.
Everything went back to normal eventually but it was a scary experience for all of them.
Terror.
"Run for your lives!" Platyborg ran through Doofenshmirtz' office "It's GNOMAGEDEON!" and then ran out.
The dictator stared after him for a moment before shrugging and going back to his paper work.
Fine.
"Fine, TRALFAZ!"
"Do I need to get you checked again?"
Lemonade.
"IN YOUR FACE ORANGE JUICE!" The guy ran down the street.
Platyborg and Doofenshmirtz stared after him.
"And THAT Platyborg is why you're not allowed to have lemonade" The dictator took a sip of his drink.
"Can I at least taste it?" The cyborg pleaded.
Doofenshmirtz thought about this for a moment.
"No"
Aglet.
"Platyborg, no one CARES what the tip of a shoelace is called! STOP SINGING!"
Snow.
Doofenshmirtz and Platyborg looked out the window at the snow.
"Happy S'winter" Platyborg smiled
"Platyborg it's Wummer"
"Some people CALL it Wummer but the official name is S'winter, I think I know my season's thank you very much"
"It's Wummer!"
"S'winter!"
"Wummer!"
"S'winter!"
"WUMMER!"
"S'WINTER!"
"WUMMER!" The dictator yelled and breathed heavily waiting for the cyborg to continue their argument.
After a moment of silence Platyborg spoke up again.
"S'fall!"
"FUMMER!"
Every Time.
"Did you get hit by a bus again? No, don't tell me. It was the taxi wasn't it?"
"I swear those things come out of nowhere!"