Final Comments
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Entry No. 750
Date: 27/05/13
12:00 PM
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Ma, I'm quite sad to announce that we will be closing down this column.
Aside from the fact that Squ-chan and the rest are far too lazy to continuously answer everyday-normal questions, we have too much work coming in and so many problems to deal with, such as boss's seemingly endless appetite and request for steak.
So, to end this column, we will each leave one final post before officially closing down this column!
Thank you darlings for following this column for so long despite our awful updates~! Luss-nee here hopes you all had a fun time reading our updates and asking questions, because I know I had fun answering them and Umi-chan had fun mocking the others~! Ma, perhaps we might start this column back up again in the future when we have more free time, but even then I don't know if Squ-chan and the others would be willing to do this again! My, my, we are quite the odd bunch~!
Until next time my lovelies~!
-Lussuria
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Entry No. 751
Date: 27/05/13
12:10 PM
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VOI!
All right you little shits, this is my last post here before that dickhead Lussuria officially shuts down this fucking crap of a column.
Tch.
…
What the fuck am I supposed to type? Huh? This was a waste of my fucking time! Time that I could've spent training and kicking some underlings ass back to work after that fucking chaos of those little shit pet versions of us running around the mansion and destroying everything!
Not to mention, I was stuck working with these guys for days because of this! Do you bastards know how fucking irritating it is to work with these shit-heads? VOI! That fucking Lussuria forces me to do this crap, that fucking prince does nothing but whine about shit that don't even matter, that frog shit pushes my buttons and that little fucking white-haired moron spouts random shit about my fucking gender and sexuality!
VOI! I WILL FUCKING KILL THOSE BASTARDS ONE DAY!
AND TO THOSE FUCKING READERS OF OURS WHO GAVE US A FREE VACATION, SEND ME ANOTHER ONE SO I CAN GET AWAY FROM THESE DICKHEADS! VOOOOOIIII!
-Squalo
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Entry No. 752
Date: 27/05/13
12:25 PM
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Ah, I guess this is farewell, huh?
Not really much of a shame. After all, Bel-sempai gives awful advice and I'm surprised the police haven't caught on and tracked us down to arrest us. I mean, our network has been hacked twice – and really easily too – for some so-called 'special events' held by that weirdo Miss Curious Bird. She really has no life, does she? Maa, she's a waste of space.
Oh. Lussuria-sempai has just informed me that I should be typing down some sort of farewell to you readers.
Something nice, so he says. Hm. It's a shame that I actually don't have anything nice to say to you readers. I suppose a thank you is in order first? Thank you for wasting your time on reading our column and bringing us rabid fans. We very much appreciate the creepy and weird questions you people send in. Really. And thank you for wasting our time with your questions.
I believe that should be a good enough final post. It's rather well typed, don't you guys think?
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Ah, you people really don't have anything better to do with your lives other than wait for our posts, do you?
Well, bye. Until the next time you people stalk us.
-Fran
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Entry No. 753
Date: 27/05/13
12:35 PM
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Squalo...
YOU SUCK, SHARK HIPPIE. YOU ARE THE WORST ADVICE GIVER EVER. MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO GIVING OUT THOSE KINDS OF ADVICE? TURN OUR READERS INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL ARMY OF SHARK SOLDIERS TO FIGHT THE PEOPLE THAT PISS YOU OFF? HUH? NO. HELL NO. JUST HELL NO.
BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO TURN THEM INTO MY OWN ARMY OF PRANKING MUNCHKINS AND GOD HELP ME, I AM NOT LETTING YOU RUIN THAT FOR ME. GO GET MARRIED AND HAVE SHARK BABIES AND QUIT RUINING MY FUN!
And lastly, to my dear friend/enemy/pain in the ass/douchebag/delusional Bel, the prince of the group and only royalty in the Varia who has psychotic tendencies and a lack for human decency and morals.
You're an asshole.
That is all.
Yep. I'm quite happy with that as my final post~! And to our lovely readers, why the hell you people even put up with us is a mystery in itself, but I love you guys, I really do! If I could, I would just shove you all onto a plane and fly you down to the Varia mansion to live with us so that every day could be a huge party!
But at last, I can't, 'cause I've been banned from booking airplane tickets.
Something about causing a huge uproar in an airplane terminal and having spent too much of the Varia's money on booking seats…Oh well!
Anyway! See you guys whenever and I hope you all enjoyed our time together!
-Umi
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Entry No. 754
Date: 27/05/13
12:40 PM
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Ushishishi, so this is the prince's final post for this pathetic excuse of a column, huh?
I will say that you peasants have proved to be entertaining to the prince for a while with your questions. Really though, you should be honored that I even bothered to answer your mundane questions. Perhaps the next time that gay Lussuria starts this column up again - and he shouldn't because the prince can only be so cooperative for so long - you peasants should come up with better and more interesting questions instead of wasting our time with stupid ones~!
And what was that, commoner?
You're calling the prince an asshole? You should watch that tongue of yours, or else you might just wake up in the morning without it, along with some vital organs of yours like for example, your heart and lungs~!
…
Tch. Apparently, I'm supposed to leave some tearful, mushy crap in my final post about you peasants.
Haa, I suppose you were all a sufficient enough pastime for the prince when things got boring here in the mansion, but that's about as far as my praise goes for you peasants. Other than that, you people don't have any other worth to me. Ushishishi~!
Now, it's time for the great prince to go murder that moronic commoner~!
-The Prince
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Entry No. 755
Date: 27/05/13
12:50 PM
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Mu, despite the fact that this column had wasted my valuable time, I did make some sufficient amount of profit from you people, so I suppose I should leave one final post before Lussuria shuts this column down.
If I had known the amount of questions we would receive, I would have charged you all a far bigger price for our answers. After all, we are Varia and instead of doing important tasks, we spent it answering questions.
I suppose if we were to open this column up again, I would charge you people again but with a higher fee so as to receive a better outcome than what I currently have. Mu, hopefully though, we won't be doing this again.
-Mammon
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Entry No. 756
Date: 27/05/13
1:00 PM
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Le sob. You're so mean Fran! I mean, I don't have a life, but you shouldn't bring it up so casually like that! Especially on this column! And what do you mean I'm a waste of space? My god, how does the Varia put up with you! Urgh. I…I'm just going to go cry in this corner of self-pity and loathing for now. Le sob. Again.
Seriously though, I just haven't had the time or inspiration to keep managing this column. Every time I think I can keep this column going, I end up not being able to. There have just been so many personal problems going on for me that I just don't have the energy to continue with this. I'm terribly sorry for those who still bother with this column or any of my other stories. I'm either not going to update for a long while - as I'm so spectacularly doing already - or I'll have one of those sporadic moments of inspiration and update anyway. Who knows?
...My god, I really am horrible at updates and stories. aksdjnasnakdjasdlanjd
But really, thank you guys for the support, favs, follows, reviews, everything. I wouldn't have even gotten past the second chapter of this story if it weren't for you guys. You're all amazing and awesome and fantastic and great and spectacular and just all the wonderfully positive words in the English language!
I'll still be on from time to time but not as often as before. Ya know, problems and school and stuff as I've already mentioned, aha.
Well, that's the end of…well, this. Thank you lovely readers again for the great times I've had on this fanfic and I hope I can come back feeling more positive and with lots more motivation and inspiration!
Until next time everyone! :D
-Miss Curious Bird